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Insightful Punditry


Maroon Sailor

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10 minutes ago, Maroon Sailor said:

On missing a gilt-edged chance

 

" He'll be disappointed with that"

A pet hate of mine. I want pundits to tell me things I don't know.

 

Very few do

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I remember McLean of the GBC saying of Laudrup having a near miss way back when “AND THAT’S WHAT MAKES HIM SO DANGEROUS “  Eh, naw, scoring is what makes him so dangerous you Wassock 🤨

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Brighton Jambo

“It’s a shot from range”  Drives me crazy.  It’s not even proper English.  Is it short range, long range etc?

 

New fangled commentary nonsense.  
 

 

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If anybody had the misfortune of listening to Jeff and the crew at Sky today, they had Kris Boyd covering the Leeds v Brighton game, jesus how thick is this guy and how the fcuk does he get a gig like that, it was embarassing.

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If I have to think of one, which I do, since I am not watching a game currently.   The one that gets me annoyed is  " He's on a hat trick".   Even though they only have scored two.    I could agree if they said he's on for a hat trick or on for a possible hat trick.   Annoys me  😱

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Fort Vallance
4 minutes ago, Tazio said:

Oh and the keeper just about kept that out. 
 

No, he did keep it out you complete and utter cock! 

That's my particular hate. That and "very decent" Its either decent or it's better than that. 

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Maroon Sailor

Just call it as it is - if he's missed a sitter, say something like my Granny could've scored that or what an arse he made of that !

 

We all know he's not going to be delighted about missing a great chance 

 

If a keeper drops a clanger they always say he won't want to see that again or who'd be a keeper 

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"if that shot was 6 inches to the left/right* (delete depending on which side) of the post, it'd have been a goal".

No, it'd have been on target, the keeper may have still saved it. 

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“ I must say ( insert team name) were not at the races today”      Naw that’s coz they were at the fitbaw ya whalloper! 

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28 minutes ago, Candy said:

A pet hate of mine. I want pundits to tell me things I don't know.

 

Very few do

 

Exactly.

 

A commentator is there to describe what's happening, the co-commentator should provide insight into why it happened.

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I always remember Archie McPhersons bit of commentary on the old Hearts v Prague VHS I had. When we conceded one of the goals he said something along the lines of “oh dear, that’s like getting kicked in the groin at your own birthday party”.  

Always found it quite amusing. We need more of that word wizardry these days!  The video has a nice ending as well when Snodin taps in that free kick! 

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"He knows he should have done better" when someone misses a good chance.

 

How do they know, did they ask him?

 

If the commentator thinks he should have done better, just say so. 

 

 

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19 minutes ago, Jamdub said:

If anybody had the misfortune of listening to Jeff and the crew at Sky today, they had Kris Boyd covering the Leeds v Brighton game, jesus how thick is this guy and how the fcuk does he get a gig like that, it was embarassing.

Didn't see that but Boyd is quite well respected at sky . Actually does his homework etc 

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1 minute ago, thegreatsd said:

I always remember Archie McPhersons bit of commentary on the old Hearts v Prague VHS I had. When we conceded one of the goals he said something along the lines of “oh dear, that’s like getting kicked in the groin at your own birthday party”.  

Always found it quite amusing. We need more of that word wizardry these days!  The video has a nice ending as well when Snodin taps in that free kick! 

 

McPherson added that commentary days after the event. He already knew what was coming and when.

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Maroon Sailor

Now we've got fun time Ally McCoist as a pundit with his little nuggets

 

"I tell you what, I've seen them given"

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6 minutes ago, Maroon Sailor said:

Now we've got fun time Ally McCoist as a pundit with his little nuggets

 

"I tell you what, I've seen them given"

He does my head in. He’s one of those people that feels uncomfortable with silence. 
And I’d also like to say anyone who says pen instead of penalty. Fair enough as an abbreviation if you’re writing but not out loud. Only beaten by ring pieces who claim people have always said it. Bollocks they have, another recent Sky telly invention. 

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rudi must stay

There seems to be an obsession with who can outdo who when describing a finish 'fantastic or explosive"

 

It's a goal get over it 

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1 hour ago, Maroon Sailor said:

On missing a gilt-edged chance

 

" He'll be disappointed with that"

“He should’ve scored there”

 

Aye cheers pal, Stevie Wonder’s guide dog already called that. 

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Perth to Paisley

 

4 minutes ago, jonesy said:

Took some Taiwanese lads I was working with to Tynie in the early 2000s to see a stock 3-0 win v Killie (remember the days?). One of them asked if there were always "peekays at the end of the game." Took a while to figure out he meant PKs, aka penalties. 

 

Also refuse to continue the conversation with my son if he says Man U or Man City. Manchester City or Manchester United only, please.

 

Heart of Midlothian only . 🙂

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32 minutes ago, thegreatsd said:

I always remember Archie McPhersons bit of commentary on the old Hearts v Prague VHS I had. When we conceded one of the goals he said something along the lines of “oh dear, that’s like getting kicked in the groin at your own birthday party”.  

Always found it quite amusing. We need more of that word wizardry these days!  The video has a nice ending as well when Snodin taps in that free kick! 

MacPherson came out with my all time favourite

 

Back from when I actually cared about how Scottish clubs did in European games.

 

 

Rangers V Dortmund and Rangers MK1 were piling on the pressure-

MacPherson 

"And Dortmund clear the ball up field and there is not a single German in the Rangers half as the ball rolls all the way through to Stefan Klos" 😂

 

Not even a hint of irony in it

 

 

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Pasquale for King

The weegie pish like “in the end up”, what does that even mean. *******isation of the language, ***** should be shot. 
The use of them instead of those gets on my nerves too. 

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Pasquale for King
6 minutes ago, Bozi said:

MacPherson came out with my all time favourite

 

Back from when I actually cared about how Scottish clubs did in European games.

 

 

Rangers V Dortmund and Rangers MK1 were piling on the pressure-

MacPherson 

"And Dortmund clear the ball up field and there is not a single German in the Rangers half as the ball rolls all the way through to Stefan Klos" 😂

 

Not even a hint of irony in it

 

 

Hahahahaha what a slavering erse. 
When you would score against the uglies he would underplay it, like Millar or Crabbes goal at Celtic “goal for Hearts” yet they scored a lucky goal at a corner “ wonderful goal for Ccceeellltttiiiiiiccccc” . Hated him then and even more so now. 

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Heard a couple of folk on TV in the past week or so saying, 'so and so makes their first debut'.

 

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the word debut self explanatory?

 

Maybe just a slip of the tongue, but I literally heard it twice in a matter of days.

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6 minutes ago, Pasquale for King said:

Hahahahaha what a slavering erse. 
When you would score against the uglies he would underplay it, like Millar or Crabbes goal at Celtic “goal for Hearts” yet they scored a lucky goal at a corner “ wonderful goal for Ccceeellltttiiiiiiccccc” . Hated him then and even more so now. 

 

No.

 

That's not the Archie I remember. 

 

A grown-up compared to today's lot.

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Pasquale for King
Just now, 4marsbars said:

 

No.

 

That's not the Archie I remember. 

 

A grown-up compared to today's lot.

Well you need to listen to the old games, as for today’s **** wits anyone off the street could do better. They’re like a parody of Macpherson and Montford mixed with Only an excuse. 

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Maroon Sailor

Lee Hendrie after making a cup draw

 

Who do you think can do well in this year's competition Lee ?

 

"I think you have to look at Man City, Man Utd, Liverpool, Chelsea and Tottenham"

 

 

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1 hour ago, Jamdub said:

If anybody had the misfortune of listening to Jeff and the crew at Sky today, they had Kris Boyd covering the Leeds v Brighton game, jesus how thick is this guy and how the fcuk does he get a gig like that, it was embarassing.


no idea how he gets these gigs. An arrogant clueless welt.  I think he’s actually not all there tbh

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Pasquale for King
2 minutes ago, 1971fozzy said:


no idea how he gets these gigs. An arrogant clueless welt.  I think he’s actually not all there tbh

It seems to be a thing on Sky soccer Saturday, Merson in particular but at least he’s feeding his EIGHT kids. 

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19 minutes ago, Bozi said:

MacPherson came out with my all time favourite

 

Back from when I actually cared about how Scottish clubs did in European games.

 

 

Rangers V Dortmund and Rangers MK1 were piling on the pressure-

MacPherson 

"And Dortmund clear the ball up field and there is not a single German in the Rangers half as the ball rolls all the way through to Stefan Klos" 😂

 

Not even a hint of irony in it

 

 

Brilliant.   😀  Archie was actually a school teacher - presumably not a geography one though !! 🙄

 

When did all this "number 10" chat start ?    And why number 10 ?  Why not number 8 ?    What does it even mean ?    The centre forward probably isn't wearing number 9 anyway.    It's daft enough when ex-pro pundits use it, but even dafter when Rob McLean uses it.           

 

(For younger viewers, back when players wore  numbers 1 to 11 and teams played with 5 forwards, number 10 was the inside forward to the left of the centre forward, and number 8 was to the right - both were forwards.  And I'm a pedantic old b*gger.  😜 ).      

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Pasquale for King

Steve McManaman is particularly poor, knows none of the rules and wants teams just to launch it long all the time. Which is strange considering how good a player he was and the teams he played for. 

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Pasquale for King
2 minutes ago, Lone Striker said:

Brilliant.   😀  Archie was actually a school teacher - presumably not a geography one though !! 🙄

 

When did all this "number 10" chat start ?    And why number 10 ?  Why not number 8 ?    What does it even mean ?    The centre forward probably isn't wearing number 9 anyway.    It's daft enough when ex-pro pundits use it, but even dafter when Rob McLean uses it.           

 

(For younger viewers, back when players wore  numbers 1 to 11 and teams played with 5 forwards, number 10 was the inside forward to the left of the centre forward, and number 8 was to the right - both were forwards.  And I'm a pedantic old b*gger.  😜 ).      

Indeed, I think today Halliday was more an old 10 and Walker 8. But as you say numbers mean little, Leeds number 10 plays left back for instance. 
You even get outfield players with number 1 on their backs 🤔🤷🏾‍♂️🙈?!?!

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2019/sep/25/which-maverick-outfield-footballers-have-worn-the-no-1-shirt

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5 minutes ago, Lone Striker said:

Brilliant.   😀  Archie was actually a school teacher - presumably not a geography one though !! 🙄

 

When did all this "number 10" chat start ?    And why number 10 ?  Why not number 8 ?    What does it even mean ?    The centre forward probably isn't wearing number 9 anyway.    It's daft enough when ex-pro pundits use it, but even dafter when Rob McLean uses it.           

 

(For younger viewers, back when players wore  numbers 1 to 11 and teams played with 5 forwards, number 10 was the inside forward to the left of the centre forward, and number 8 was to the right - both were forwards.  And I'm a pedantic old b*gger.  😜 ).      

Goalie,

Right back, left back,

Right half, Centre half, Left half

Right wing, inside right centre forward, inside left, left wing 

Or you said outside right, and outside left.

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Maroon Sailor
8 minutes ago, Lone Striker said:

Brilliant.   😀  Archie was actually a school teacher - presumably not a geography one though !! 🙄

 

When did all this "number 10" chat start ?    And why number 10 ?  Why not number 8 ?    What does it even mean ?    The centre forward probably isn't wearing number 9 anyway.    It's daft enough when ex-pro pundits use it, but even dafter when Rob McLean uses it.           

 

(For younger viewers, back when players wore  numbers 1 to 11 and teams played with 5 forwards, number 10 was the inside forward to the left of the centre forward, and number 8 was to the right - both were forwards.  And I'm a pedantic old b*gger.  😜 ).      

 

What about a false 9 or a false 10 ?!

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My favourite is Jock Brown’s commentary during a derby at the piggery. Hearts won 4-1 and we scored all the goals ( Gary McKay scored for us and them ). Towards the end of the game Jock came out with “ well if it wasn’t for the goals this might well have been a draw “. I nearly wet myself laughing.

 

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14 minutes ago, Maroon Sailor said:

 

What about a false 9 or a false 10 ?!

:arghh:

Don't get me started.😉

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Maroon Sailor
19 minutes ago, Lone Striker said:

:arghh:

Don't get me started.😉

 

Steve Bruce

 

"That was my thinking, playing Ryan Fraser and Sean Longstaff as two false number 10s instead of Miguel Almiron and Big Joe"

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Kris fat bias’s Boyd 

 

“ for me “ blah blah blah 

“ for me” blah blah blah 

 

before every other sentence before he spouts his pis 

his vocabulary is shocking 

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4 minutes ago, Maroon Sailor said:

 

Steve Bruce

 

"That was my thinking, playing Ryan Fraser and Sean Longstaff as two false number 10s instead of Miguel Almiron and Big Joe"

:facepalm:

 

Actually, would it be correct to describe Sir Bobby Charlton as a false number 9 ?   From memory he was hardly ever the furthest player up the park, and scored a lot of goals with canonball shots from outside the box.    

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jamboinglasgow
2 hours ago, Tazio said:

Oh and the keeper just about kept that out. 
 

No, he did keep it out you complete and utter cock! 

 

Glad I am not the only one that annoys. It would be easier to say " the keeper just kept that out" and you would be correct. Not use "about" and completely change the meaning of the sentence.

 

Also agree with interviewing managers after they won a game saying "you will be happy with that." Yes in maybe 5% of games a manager may say that he was not happy with how they performed but its not worth repeatedly asking just to get that answer. I can understand why some managers hate journalist questions (and some journalists hate having to ask it because their editor wants a certain line for the paper.)

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AllyjamboDerbyshire

My own favourite hate was/is 'if he'd scored there it could have been very important in the context of this game'. As if there are many goals that aren't important in the context of any game. I'm sure that was one of John Motson's regular sayings.

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Another one that annoys me is the way commentators and pundits describe a successful penalty kick.   Talk about hindsight !!   

 

Poorly hit/placed penalties which happen to go in thanks to the goalie going the wrong way are described as "confidently taken,  expertly despatched" etc.    But when the goalie guesses correctly, it's a "poorly taken kick".      Edouard's dink at Hampden was only  "brilliant" because Craig decided to dive.     

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