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Insightful Punditry


Maroon Sailor

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My half sister

When a player puts in a bad tackle and is sent off, you sometimes hear ‘he’s not that type of player’. 
I would like to see the list of who is that type of player! 
 

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Maroon Sailor

Provan is the worst

 

"The keeper is never getting there" as he watches the replay of the goal

 

"It would take something special to beat the keeper from there" as he watches a replay of a shot from 30 yards sail over the bar

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Maroon Sailor

Another classic

 

"If you closed your eyes, you couldn't tell the difference between the two sides." Phil Brown

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2 minutes ago, My half sister said:

When a player puts in a bad tackle and is sent off, you sometimes hear ‘he’s not that type of player’. 
I would like to see the list of who is that type of player! 
 

Yes, and I'm sure we could draw up a fairly accurate list !!

 

Why don't  winning managers,  interviewed  after a game where the opposition missed loads of chances, just admit their team was lucky - instead of guff like "we controlled  the game and it was a  comfortable win".  

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Psychedelicropcircle

Bit of a thread swerve but earlier cropcirclette asked if she should find a film for us to watch (ken like living the lockdown dream) she shouted through “have you seen the invisible man “🤣

 

sort of insightful punditry!

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2 hours ago, jonesy said:

Also refuse to continue the conversation with my son if he says Man U or Man City. Manchester City or Manchester United only, please.

 

If someone in conversation  mentions just 'United' I'll feign misunderstanding and ask about Newcastle or West Ham - even Dundee!

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Weakened Offender

More a pundit thing but when someone scores a beauty and then some dreary dullard starts circling defenders and saying they should have done this/been there/. Killjoy morons. 

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3 hours ago, jonesy said:

Wonder if he uses a laptop to do so?

Probably !

Hard to believe but he is apparently quite professional 

Total opposite of Commons

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Dunno who decided a one two had to be renamed as a give and go but I suspect Alan Shearer had something to do with it.

 

Also, in and around the box is another one that gets on my ****.

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27 minutes ago, Weakened Offender said:

More a pundit thing but when someone scores a beauty and then some dreary dullard starts circling defenders and saying they should have done this/been there/. Killjoy morons. 

Usually when a ‘small’ team scored against a perceived ‘big’ team. The lad just beat three defenders and stuck in the top corner from 20 yards; give him some credit Clive. Just because you didn’t get your goal of the month commentary moment since you thought he was going to put it in row Z. 

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Maroon Sailor

Fox in the box used to get on my tits

 

Came up everytime Francis Jeffers played even though he was anything but

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Horatio Caine

"He knows where the goals are" Yup! At either end of the pitch.  Even I know that.

 

"He finds the back of the net" (beloved by Willie Miller).  I always have a picture of someone in full explorer gear, compass in hand and binoculars round neck searching for the legendary back of the net.  Arseholes.

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Lord Beni of Gorgie

Believe Gordon said on Sportsound today,  Hearts will be looking to avoid defeat. 

 

****ing revelation that is

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Half-time report from John Motson -

 

“it’s one nil to Liverpool and if it stays like that you have to fancy Liverpool”

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What a dreadful derby. can’t see where  a goal is coming from, and it’s 1-0 hearts out of nothing Robertson scores 

Used to hate when commentators said that 😉

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4 hours ago, Brighton Jambo said:

“It’s a shot from range”  Drives me crazy.  It’s not even proper English.  Is it short range, long range etc?

 

New fangled commentary nonsense.  
 

 

See also “they’re back on terms” when a side equalises. They were “on terms” before, just uneven ones at that. Use the word “level” or don’t say it at all

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Davie Provan with ever recurring cliches. “ he was entitled to take that on” or that cross was almost on the money “ whatever that means 😠

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When team/players are described as being plural when they are infact not plural.

 

When you think of tough teams to travel to, you have your Celtics, your Rangers, and your Aberdeens.

 

Your top players, your Messis, your Ronaldos.

Edited by Bunny Munro
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Commentators describing teams as being the “more dominant”.

 

 I guess they don’t know what “dominant” means.

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He had the right to go down as he felt contact. 
 

No he ****ing didn’t have any right to go down. If someone trips you or boots you so hard you don’t have a choice then you go down. If you feel contact and crumple you’re a cheat. 

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A_A wehatethehibs

Got to be room for a few Michael Owen classics:
 

“Whichever team scores more goals usually wins the game” 

 

“That would’ve been a goal if it’d gone inside the post”

 

“That’s completely unstoppable but the goalkeeper has got to do better for me.“

 

 

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"Top top player" 😡

 

First heard this said by Paul Merson and now every pundit uses it. No one's a top player or fabulous or wonderful or excellent, if their half decent they're top top!

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Brighton Jambo
9 hours ago, Thommo414 said:

See also “they’re back on terms” when a side equalises. They were “on terms” before, just uneven ones at that. Use the word “level” or don’t say it at all

Yes yes yes.  I knew there was another one the really bugged me and I couldn’t think of it when I posted.  I hate it when they use that nonsense back on terms.  Thank you! 

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14 hours ago, jamboozy said:

“ I must say ( insert team name) were not at the races today”      Naw that’s coz they were at the fitbaw ya whalloper! 

😀😀

 

when its 1-1 going into the last ten and the pundit will say, I can see whoever scores next is likely to go on and win this. No shit Sherlock 

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adambraejambo

Will Chelsea qualify with ease? I think they will, but it won’t be easy.” Jamie Redknapp

 

I'm sure Owen once said about someone that it was a great penalty, he will be gutted it went wide though. 

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9 hours ago, Tazio said:

He had the right to go down as he felt contact. 
 

No he ****ing didn’t have any right to go down. If someone trips you or boots you so hard you don’t have a choice then you go down. If you feel contact and crumple you’re a cheat. 

😖😖exactly! When did it become your ‘right’ to cheat, Billy Dodds being the most frequent to say this I feel.

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8 hours ago, A_A wehatethehibs said:

Got to be room for a few Michael Owen classics:
 

“Whichever team scores more goals usually wins the game” 

 

“That would’ve been a goal if it’d gone inside the post”

 

“That’s completely unstoppable but the goalkeeper has got to do better for me.“

 

 

Worthy of Coleman balls in private eye. Kevin  Keegan has come out with similar classics. 'Shaun wright Philips has the heart of a frying pan. But it's bigger than that' 

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5 minutes ago, bigcoll said:

Worthy of Coleman balls in private eye. Kevin  Keegan has come out with similar classics. 'Shaun wright Philips has the heart of a frying pan. But it's bigger than that' 

Haha that's brilliant. 😂

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'It's game on'

 

The game's on from kick off!  but it's only ever said when a team's behind by two goals and then pulls one back.

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Maroon Sailor
7 hours ago, Deans Jambo said:

"Top top player" 😡

 

First heard this said by Paul Merson and now every pundit uses it. No one's a top player or fabulous or wonderful or excellent, if their half decent they're top top!

 

Merson has got a lot to answer for

 

Oh he's hit the beans

 

It's Desmond

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Maroon Sailor
1 hour ago, adambraejambo said:

Will Chelsea qualify with ease? I think they will, but it won’t be easy.” Jamie Redknapp

 

I'm sure Owen once said about someone that it was a great penalty, he will be gutted it went wide though. 

 

Redknapp is a knob full stop.

 

The other night he goes on about Steve Bruce being a top manager then the next sentence says I fancy Sheffield United to win this

 

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jack D and coke
16 hours ago, Jamdub said:

If anybody had the misfortune of listening to Jeff and the crew at Sky today, they had Kris Boyd covering the Leeds v Brighton game, jesus how thick is this guy and how the fcuk does he get a gig like that, it was embarassing.

Thick as mince. I know it’s daft as well but the way he stands when he’s doing the Scottish football really rustles the life out me! That big wide stance he looks a ****ing idiot and then open his mouth and confirms it. 
He’s been getting these gigs for a while now it looks like we’ve got years of listening to this prick. 

Edited by jack D and coke
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jack D and coke
15 minutes ago, Maroon Sailor said:

 

Redknapp is a knob full stop.

 

The other night he goes on about Steve Bruce being a top manager then the next sentence says I fancy Sheffield United to win this

 

Generally never thought he was very insightful tbh. Talks bolloks imo but then I find most of them irritating as **** to be quite honest. Carragher is the worst though. Take a managers job you clown instead of pulling everything apart every time you open you mouth. His high pitched scouse tones are like nails down a blackboard to me an all. 
Roy Keane speaks to me though. I generally find myself agreeing with him most of the time. 

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Maroon Sailor
1 minute ago, jack D and coke said:

Generally never thought he was very insightful tbh. Talks bolloks imo but then I find most of them irritating as **** to be quite honest. Carragher is the worst though. Take a managers job you clown instead of pulling everything apart every time you open you mouth. His high pitched scouse tones are like nails down a blackboard to me an all. 
Roy Keane speaks to me though. I generally find myself agreeing with him most of the time. 

 

Keane's good value because he's not scared of upsetting anyone.

 

Redknapp and co (non managers) offer very little as you say.

 

I actually don't mind Souness as a pundit at least he's been there and done it as a manager. Trouble with him is he keeps harking back to his day.

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Maroon Sailor
12 minutes ago, jack D and coke said:

Thick as mince. I know it’s daft as well but the way he stands when he’s doing the Scottish football really rustles the life out me! That big wide stance he looks a ****ing idiot and then open his mouth and confirms it. 
He’s been getting these gigs for a while now it looks like we’ve got years of listening to this prick. 

 

🤣 That stance gets me as well as does his quivering when he speaks

 

At least they binned Commons who has to be the worst pundit in history

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Maroon Sailor

Eilidh Barbour on Livingston v Celtic fixture

 

These two teams played out a goalless draw at Celtic Park yesterday, hopefully we'll get a few more goals when they meet on Wednesday night

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Great save by the keeper, but he should've scored, either side of the keeper and that was a goal.....

just wow!

commentators do my ###kin heid in

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Clive Tyldesley - absolutely horrific. Every England game was a rerun of 1966 and littered with cliches and trivia. His YT vid when he got the bullet is a  master class in arrogance & self pity. 

 

Souness takes every mistake as a personal insult but at least he seems to hate Jamie " "Cockney Chav" Redknapp (I thought it was pretty obvious in the early days of them appearing together on CL games.

 

Chris Kamara...there are no words. 

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When a manager or player is getting interviewed and they constantly say " football club!"  I'm really glad to be at the football club or "It's not what's required at this football club"  or " I'll do my best for the football club" - Club's plenty thanks very much! 

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3 hours ago, Maroon Sailor said:

 

Keane's good value because he's not scared of upsetting anyone.

 

Redknapp and co (non managers) offer very little as you say.

 

I actually don't mind Souness as a pundit at least he's been there and done it as a manager. Trouble with him is he keeps harking back to his day.

Keane and Souness on sky now ripping into Sheffield United after their 1st half performance as "pathetic " and "shocking" rightly so!

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A_A wehatethehibs

“I fear for this team. I don’t see where the goals are coming from. You need someone that can get you a goal to get points on the board.”
 

Aye I suppose that’s right eh 

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Maroon Sailor
1 minute ago, A_A wehatethehibs said:

“I fear for this team. I don’t see where the goals are coming from. You need someone that can get you a goal to get points on the board.”
 

Aye I suppose that’s right eh 

 

Getting paid a fortune to say that as well

 

Lee Hendrie always sounds like he has just the reached the top stair in a block of flats

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That Leanne bint on Sportsound earlier.

'I wouldn't say Celtic need to make any drastic changes but what I would say is that they need a complete rebuild.

 

 

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8 minutes ago, Maroon Sailor said:

 

Getting paid a fortune to say that as well

 

Lee Hendrie always sounds like he has just the reached the top stair in a block of flats

The breathless Andy Hinchcliffe ,  always sounds like he just missed his bus. 

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