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What's your major malfunction?


Norm

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OK. So I think most people would agree they're not perfect. Pretty much everyone has issues, some have bigger and more than others.

 

My major malfunction is I'm an emotional cripple with almost no empathy. The events in Tunisia, Hillsborough, even relatives dying. All pretty much illicit no response from me other than "Oh. That must be rubbish" and then I carry on with my day.

 

I can fake it. I understand that these bad events must be horrible for those affected and that social norms are to express concern which I do. But behind it, there's not really any emotional connection. Just a "They must be upset. The right thing to do is offer support." I'm even pretty good at offering the support.

 

But again, I don't feel emotionally affected by it.

 

So come on, JKB. Get it off your chest. What are your major malfunctions?

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I'm anal about time. If someone asks me the time and its 6:58 that's what I tell them it is. It's not 7:00.

 

I'm a stubborn ***** and if you do me wrong I don't ever forgive and forget. At best I'll tolerate you for the good of others. Just don't expect a phone call or a text.

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OK. So I think most people would agree they're not perfect. Pretty much everyone has issues, some have bigger and more than others.

 

My major malfunction is I'm an emotional cripple with almost no empathy. The events in Tunisia, Hillsborough, even relatives dying. All pretty much illicit no response from me other than "Oh. That must be rubbish" and then I carry on with my day.

 

I can fake it. I understand that these bad events must be horrible for those affected and that social norms are to express concern which I do. But behind it, there's not really any emotional connection. Just a "They must be upset. The right thing to do is offer support." I'm even pretty good at offering the support.

 

But again, I don't feel emotionally affected by it.

 

So come on, JKB. Get it off your chest. What are your major malfunctions?

Sociopathic behaviour imho

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nothing wrong with what you describe, it is horrible for their families but unless it has a direct impact on you why would you be emotional?

 

Sent from my HTC One using Tapatalk

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Sociopathic behaviour imho

 

 

 

Sent from my HTC One using Tapatalk

One of the main indicators if I'm not mistaken.

 

It's okay though. A self diagnosis on the Hare checklist only gets me a 13. I'm a long way from skinning people and wearing their head as a hat.

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niblick1874

I have this mechanism that allows me to put out of my mind things I should do or fix in my life if thinking about them depresses me. It is detrimental to my wellbeing and I realize that but do nothing about it. The bad thing about it is that it can affect the people who love and care about me and not in a good way. Is that the kind of thing you mean?

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Eating too much sugary food and being terrible at saving money.

 

I exercise a lot but still have a bit of a belly due to bad food habits.

 

I'm getting better at looking after my cash but I still have too many **** it moments when invited in a night out or if I want something.

 

It's the reason I'm not on the property ladder.

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i agree with norm on a couple of his points based on how many people there is math says there will be some improbable events some of which will be horrific so i dont see the point in getting all emotional about it 

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rossaldinho

I can say the chemical phenolphthalein but cannot for the life of me say cellophane.

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Riddley Walker

I'm cling film retarded. I can't successfully use this stuff!

With you on this one.

 

Stuff is an absolute nightmare.

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I can't say the word 'three'. It's gotten so bad that I actually avoid saying it.

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TheMaganator

I can't say the word 'three'. It's gotten so bad that I actually avoid saying it.

Do you say 'shree'?
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OK. So I think most people would agree they're not perfect. Pretty much everyone has issues, some have bigger and more than others.

 

My major malfunction is I'm an emotional cripple with almost no empathy. The events in Tunisia, Hillsborough, even relatives dying. All pretty much illicit no response from me other than "Oh. That must be rubbish" and then I carry on with my day.

 

I can fake it. I understand that these bad events must be horrible for those affected and that social norms are to express concern which I do. But behind it, there's not really any emotional connection. Just a "They must be upset. The right thing to do is offer support." I'm even pretty good at offering the support.

 

But again, I don't feel emotionally affected by it.

 

So come on, JKB. Get it off your chest. What are your major malfunctions?

 

Much the same for me. I'm emotionally disconnected to anything that doesn't directly involve myself or someone I care about.

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I got 15 on the hare test, it would have been lower were it not for a silly mistake at work meaning I was in contempt of court, which was never followed up anyway.

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Say What Again

My major malfunction is I'm an emotional cripple with almost no empathy.

Much the same for me. I'm emotionally disconnected to anything that doesn't directly involve myself or someone I care about.

Oh go on then. It's cheaper than therapy...

 

Unfortunately I can raise the bar a bit on this. I reckon if my mum stabbed my dad to death, after the initial 'jeez, I didn't think she had that in the locker' I'd shrug and get on with it. Tomorrow is a new day.

 

I ponder this occasionally (see above, it doesn't keep me awake) because I can't pull a Jeremy Kyle story. I can't even pull a parents divorce. They're still together now, and while they've never been rich, me and my sister never wanted for anything.

 

I don't need a cuddle, I don't need daddy to tell me he loves me, I'm just emotionally void for some reason. I told someone this story once and they said emotional r e tard ('fool' mods? Really?) Not very PC but I got her point.

 

I can save folk the understandable 'wait til you lose a parent' reply, as I hero worshipped my great uncle who brought me up. Every day after school while my folks were working, I'd go there and hang on every word he said. When he died - suddenly - I cried for about 20 seconds (17 at the time). I got home and my dad was in a room on his own crying. The one and only time I've seen him cry. That made me sad, and my uncle dying devasted me - in a way. But hey, it's Monday tomorrow.

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I overreact to every twitch in my body. Sometimes my arm twitches and I think - it has to be Motor Neuron disease and I'm going to die.

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Say What Again

I overreact to every twitch in my body. Sometimes my arm twitches and I think - it has to be Motor Neuron disease and I'm going to die.

And then you'll realise it is, and you are :(
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I can't say the word 'three'. It's gotten so bad that I actually avoid saying it.

I feel your pain.  I couldn't say 'three' up until the age of 12, when I managed to teach myself to say it after hours of practice. I still feel self concious saying it 40 years later. While I don't purposely avoiding saying it, I'm happier with two or four.

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I don't care. I mean really, I just don't care. Everything is pointless. Nothing really matters.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Ron Burgundy

I have this mechanism that allows me to put out of my mind things I should do or fix in my life if thinking about them depresses me. It is detrimental to my wellbeing and I realize that but do nothing about it. The bad thing about it is that it can affect the people who love and care about me and not in a good way. Is that the kind of thing you mean?

Me too. There are low periods of my life that I have basically erased from my memory.

 

I could never ever dream of opening up and talking to people about my feelings or talk about emotional stuff to anyone.

 

My last three long term partners all reckoned I'm bat shit mental and most likely have high functioning Aspergers. I think they're right.

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J.T.F.Robertson

I don't care. I mean really, I just don't care. Everything is pointless. Nothing really matters.

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I "want" to, but a bit like you, know it's all pretty much irrelevant. At the finish, I'm not sure it matters whether you've lived your life as Mother Theresa or Adolf Hitler. When it's done, from the personal perspective, that's it. (exempt on either count, btw)
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I have found that I was reasonably immune to emotions when I was younger. I suppose dealing with tragedy does that to you. I am no longer that way, not for everything but when I hear or read about someone losing a child it really gets me. When I see some poor kid smiling on TV and the story is about them being in a cancer ward with terminal cancer, I just bleed for them.  I always thought I had a very realistic view on death, when its over its over, for myself I am fine with that, but when I look at pictures of a beautiful vibrant everything to live for young woman who just no longer exists I find that really hard to accept,  it is difficult to believe that light has just been put out, I think this is what has mainly increased my empathy and sorrow for others.  The worst thing about it all is I always saw myself as strong, for the first time in my life I have faced cowardice and am not at all proud of it.

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Bridge of Djoum

Self doubt for me. I look at myself and see little worth.

 

I know It's bollocks, but I just can't get past it.

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I have a real problem with doing nothing and sleeping. It just seems like such a waste of time when I could be doing something even if the something doesn't achieve anything.

 

Just the thought of sitting down and do nothing for 5 mins terrifies me.

 

Think it drives my family crazy.

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mrmarkus1981

I bottle things up rather than taking about them, right now I've got serious thoughts about giving the G/F the boot (reasons I'll not get into) and instead of sitting down and taking about the problem we haven't spoke for a day and a half. I'm just a gimp

 

Sent from my LG-D855 using Tapatalk

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Maroonblood22

I'm an angry, angry man :( I have a very short fuse and I struggle to just 'chill' and let things go. Wish I could just have a much more peaceful and relaxed attitude to life!

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The Internet

I hate social events/talking to most people. I'm fine around mates and stuff but if there's a night out arranged with work or if I need to go to something where there will be a lot of people I've never met, I'll either go out of my way to avoid it or sit there quietly most of the night. I don't get particularly nervous or anxious (even though people probably refer to this as social anxiety), I just cannot be bothered with it. Makes me feel like a proper miserable arsehole when I give up on it and head home at about 9pm.

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Bert Le Clos

I hate social events/talking to most people. I'm fine around mates and stuff but if there's a night out arranged with work or if I need to go to something where there will be a lot of people I've never met, I'll either go out of my way to avoid it or sit there quietly most of the night. I don't get particularly nervous or anxious (even though people probably refer to this as social anxiety), I just cannot be bothered with it. Makes me feel like a proper miserable arsehole when I give up on it and head home at about 9pm.

 

I'm terrible at meeting new people. It's probably more along the lines of social anxiety you mention. It's bizarre because with people I know in social situations I'm the centre of attention.

 

A lot of people I've met at work or though friends of friends then become good friends with have said I'm a completely different person once they got to know me.

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I'm worried about the amount of phsycopaths roaming the streets of Edinburgh now :lol:

 

I simultaneously think that I'm better than most people and that I'm nothing special.

Like I look at the attitudes of the general public on Facebook etc and think I'm better than them but a morally superior person wouldn't think like that so am I really?

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Dagger Is Back

I can't be the last person out of the house without checking all windows and doors locked, electric plugs off etc.

 

Going on holiday takes me 20 minutes to go through a mental checklist.

 

Drives me and the family crazy

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Mine is weird. I have an amazing memory, a lot of my mates sometimes call me the computer. When it comes to things I've got to do though, head like a sieve time. I remember when I was off one day, the wife phoned me and asked me what I was up to, I said I was going to sort the doors in the kitchen cupboards, cut the grass and then make a nice risotto for tea. Straight away I remembered what I needed to get, food stuff, hinges for the cupboards and petrol for the lawn mower. I went up town, put diesel in the car and then went home as I forgot to go to get everything I needed. This is a regular occurrence. Also, I detest being late, even by as little as a second.

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Shyness.

 

Quite chronic at times, but less so at others.

 

It's a wee bit of a family trait. My late grandad and uncle were very shy and a few of my cousins are too. Lovely people, all Jambos, but cursed with social anxiety.

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Fitzroy Pointon

I'm a terrible drinker.  I have only noticed this recently.  I don't drink during the week but at the weekend I get greedy.  Either I get hyper or I fall asleep, depending what I'm drinking.  To be honest I'm better off without it and I'm seriously thinking of sacking it for good.  

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I'm definitely on the autism spectrum. Don't like to be touched, especially by people I don't know. Pretty OCD too. Dyspraxic and have discalculus (sp) according to my daughter. (Clumsy and pish at maths according to me).

As I get older I'm finding that the world nowadays really annoys me. The public displays of grief, in particular get on my nerves. Lady Di syndrome. I wouldn't say I'm miserable, I'm happy enough but I'd be happier if it weren't for other people, if that makes sense.

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Fitzroy Pointon

I'm definitely on the autism spectrum. Don't like to be touched, especially by people I don't know. Pretty OCD too. Dyspraxic and have discalculus (sp) according to my daughter. (Clumsy and pish at maths according to me).

As I get older I'm finding that the world nowadays really annoys me. The public displays of grief, in particular get on my nerves. Lady Di syndrome. I wouldn't say I'm miserable, I'm happy enough but I'd be happier if it weren't for other people, if that makes sense.

 

The Dyspraxia bit interests me.  The wee man has been tested for this (found out he wasn't dyspraxic)  but I'm still not 100% sure of what it is.  My girlfriend says that I should get tested for it and I display some of the characteristics.  In what way does it affect you and does it hold you back in any aspects of life? 

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I think I have borderline body dysmorphia. Never been happy with my looks really, don't know why as I've always done more than alright with the ladies etc. Improved slightly since I started working out a lot but I'm still cripplingly self concious at times.

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The Dyspraxia bit interests me.  The wee man has been tested for this (found out he wasn't dyspraxic)  but I'm still not 100% sure of what it is.  My girlfriend says that I should get tested for it and I display some of the characteristics.  In what way does it affect you and does it hold you back in any aspects of life? 

I think my daughters is worse than mine and, as I say it's only her opinion, I've never been diagnosed but she has.

 

She is very bright, loads of qualifications etc and got to use a laptop etc at school because of it. She has trouble telling her left from right, and, if you put a knife and fork down in front of her the wrong way about she would just start eating that way rather than correct it. I believe some folk with it have problems with balancing. (i was never any good at skateboarding and it took me ages to learn to ride a bike) I think the biggest thing for me is I can't plan things like cutting tiles into shape or plan how something fits into somewhere. I always get it the opposite way to the way it should be, if that makes sense.

It's never really had a massive effect on my life TBH

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Fitzroy Pointon

I think my daughters is worse than mine and, as I say it's only her opinion, I've never been diagnosed but she has.

 

She is very bright, loads of qualifications etc and got to use a laptop etc at school because of it. She has trouble telling her left from right, and, if you put a knife and fork down in front of her the wrong way about she would just start eating that way rather than correct it. I believe some folk with it have problems with balancing. (i was never any good at skateboarding and it took me ages to learn to ride a bike) I think the biggest thing for me is I can't plan things like cutting tiles into shape or plan how something fits into somewhere. I always get it the opposite way to the way it should be, if that makes sense.

It's never really had a massive effect on my life TBH

 

That's very interesting.  I have real trouble with left and right and actually have to stop in my tracks and think about it.  The amount of times I have told taxi drivers to go left when I mean right and vice versa and having to correct myself when giving directions.  The fork and knife thing, if I am laying a table I actually have to make a cutting motion with them to see where they go.  I also have trouble with balance and I always put this down to being tall.  If I am walking down the street I am drawn either to the kerb or the inside of the pavement, meaning I either fall off the edge or walk into the wall/fence.  It's really strange.  

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I hate social events/talking to most people. I'm fine around mates and stuff but if there's a night out arranged with work or if I need to go to something where there will be a lot of people I've never met, I'll either go out of my way to avoid it or sit there quietly most of the night. I don't get particularly nervous or anxious (even though people probably refer to this as social anxiety), I just cannot be bothered with it. Makes me feel like a proper miserable arsehole when I give up on it and head home at about 9pm.

 

This. It's small chat with people I don't know and haven't formed any sort of common ground with that's the problem. I just can't do it.

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michael_bolton

This. It's small chat with people I don't know and haven't formed any sort of common ground with that's the problem. I just can't do it.

 

I'm great at that when I'm on my own in a new group, much worse at it when there's one other person I know. More than one, or zero, and I'm fine.

 

If I'm in a new group with one person I know, I clam up.

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Auld Reekin'

Kicking foxes to death...

 

 

(On a non-vulpine note, and regarding Bob Sharp's post, nothing Bob stated in his post suggested "cowardice" on his part. Maybe he is referring to something else that recently happened in his life, though, and I'm definitely not wanting to pry into that if so.)

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All roads lead to Gorgie

It is remembering peoples names after they have introduced themselves that is my downfall. I think I have taken it in at the time but give me five minutes and it is gone. I will often meet someone again weeks later and they will greet me by my first name but embarrassingly I will have forgotten theirs. It is not old age has been a problem all my life. It could be getting worse however.

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