tartofmidlothian Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 The one below about Lee Johnson on another thread got me remembering some of our commander's finest words. Some beautiful sentiments among them. Some fantastic GIRFUYs to the corrupt Scottish football establishment. Anyone got any more? I'll miss him. "Perhaps Lee was jealous of Edgaras Jankauskas placing his finger in equipment to ascertain his health, however it would have been better for the man now at Bristol City to have placed his tongue there to ascertain his suitability to speak." http://www.heartsfc...._2241384_884722 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tartofmidlothian Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 The classic: "Your leader Mowgli is not taking bananas any more, now he is taking money for lies and untruthful interpretation. However he is greedy and makes you collect rotten information from cesspits and poisons readers with it. This is unworthy even of a monkey. Today I will express my opinion in English about refereeing in order that your Mowgli will not make you tell lies." http://www.heartsfc.co.uk/articles/20070222/monkeys-go-home_2241384_986323 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tartofmidlothian Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 One of his finest moments: "They have lived beyond law and all morals, and should now be declared beyond the pale. A society that allows the destruction of integrity in sport, which is a crucial part of Scottish culture, is destroying itself - and all for the benefit of a media aborigine." http://www.heartsfc.co.uk/articles/20120621/vr-statement_2241384_2818454 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tartofmidlothian Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 Vlad hates Hibs: "Today I have seen what I have been dreaming about. My team was playing football, it was not a physical match, and they were playing football as I dreamt it. I could not have dreamt this before and now I can dream about it, and the fans were there to see beautiful football being played. The fans are the golden fans for the country. I appreciate them much more than all the oil and gas reserves of Russia." http://www.heartsfc.co.uk/articles/20060402/romanovs-joy_2241384_810707 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambogjh Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Loved the guy, but what a ******* clown he is. "The fans are the golden fans for the country. I appreciate them much more than all the oil and gas reserves of Russia." If that's true give us our club back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redm Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I went off to find his frog poetry and found this Q&A with Vlad... Q: Will you readily turf someone out if they play a bad game? A: I'm also willing to punch them in the face if required. Q: What is the attitude towards Russian club owners in the West? A: They try to present us as aborigines ie primitives, something from ice age. Q: Why do they try to do that? A: Due to a lack of intelligence. When people say I am from the ice age, I am happy to play the part. Q: In what way? A: I might punch the referee or someone else. Q: Has that really happened? A: Not with me. But it happened to Saulius Mikolunius. Somone was pulling his shirt. He lost his temper and ran up and shoved the referee. Q: Is it true that you write poetry and when did you start? A: Five years ago, I found myself in a stressful situation. Russian businessmen "put the squeeze on me" - sell us your shares, or we'll bury you on the spot. I sat there, not knowing what to do, and spent three days writing. Q: What do you write about? A: About life. In verse, you can always find the meaning of life. For example, in my poem entitled "The Frog". I wrote it when I was out walking in the hills after it had been raining. Sometimes I ask myself why it is that people leap around like frogs in the kingdom of the bog. The Frog by Vladimir Romanov The mountain road rumbles After the heavenly rains The hills fill with gurgles and murmurs Beneath the order of the earth's dome, A white stone lies in the bog Under a solitary reed, All puffed up, a frog croaks At the call of his restless mate. Longing to be with her,he puffs out his chest To be number one in this boggy kingdom And produce a dynasty of brave offspring Who will trumpet the glory of these places, A living symphony Above the ordered chaos of the earth, And the clock ticks To mark my passing years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tartofmidlothian Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 I went off to find his frog poetry and found this Q&A with Vlad... That's brilliant. The poem, I mean. And Vlad generally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bilel Mohsni Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 'The Frog' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redm Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 That's brilliant. The poem, I mean. And Vlad generally. He's number one in our boggy kingdom. For now, at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tian447 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 That poem isn't that bad actually. Much better than the crap we studied at school Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannibal Lecter Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 The classic: "Your leader Mowgli is not taking bananas any more, now he is taking money for lies and untruthful interpretation. However he is greedy and makes you collect rotten information from cesspits and poisons readers with it. This is unworthy even of a monkey. Today I will express my opinion in English about refereeing in order that your Mowgli will not make you tell lies." http://www.heartsfc...._2241384_986323 This one was my favourite statement of his! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bilel Mohsni Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Where's the one about livestock and vegetable patches? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 "I don't know what kind of experiment Graham Rix had in mind when taking Lee Johnson on. He did not manage to explain it. As a footballer he has no value. This was proved by the fact that nobody was prepared to pay a penny for him and we were even asked to pay money to get rid of him." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chester Perry Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I'm not a fan of lyric tattoos but I'll be getting 'The Frog' inscribed on my body somewhere. Probably the greatest poem ever written. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redm Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Where's the one about livestock and vegetable patches? had vague recollection of that so did a wee google and this is what I found from JKB, January 2011. When a lost goat wanders into your cabbage patch you must not let him make a mess of the cabbages, but instead you must throw him three carrots so that he can find his way home. I think that was it. http://www.hmfckickback.co.uk/index.php?/topic/86304-please-please-join-us-mr-romanov Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rossthejambo Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 "I don't know what kind of experiment Graham Rix had in mind when taking Lee Johnson on. He did not manage to explain it. As a footballer he has no value. This was proved by the fact that nobody was prepared to pay a penny for him and we were even asked to pay money to get rid of him." That's a belter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flecktimus Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 His statement on Sunday after the 3rd goal went in. Feck this i am off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bilel Mohsni Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 had vague recollection of that so did a wee google and this is what I found from JKB, January 2011. I think that was it. http://www.hmfckickback.co.uk/index.php?/topic/86304-please-please-join-us-mr-romanov He's the Shaun Ryder of the 21st Century. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dusk_Till_Dawn Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Would you throw someone out the club? Yes, and I'd punch him in the face. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Palmer Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I like all his statements as they seemed to have the inevitable result of making people rage for no apparent reason. Vlad says: "Bears shite in the woods." JKB: "RAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!" Good times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
:shitwine: Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I like all his statements as they seemed to have the inevitable result of making people rage for no apparent reason. Vlad says: "Bears shite in the woods." JKB: "RAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!" Good times. 'Kickback's for Arseholes'-type post, IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmfcjamie Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 sorry if this has been aske before ..................... but what did the banner say at the final??? could'nt see from my angle just seen 'vlad' on it. hope it was 'we love you vlad' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thunderstruck Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Perhaps a little maroon book with the collected musings of our great leader. It will fly off the shelves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamhammer Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I actually like the poem. Mad JH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudi must stay Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 The media monkeys one was great, someone from the official site actually put a picture of a monkey answering a phone next to the article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorgiewave Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Has anybody got the picture of the ugly bloke and the not ungly bursd on the beach with the deck chair and the crab? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bilel Mohsni Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Has anybody got the picture of the ugly bloke and the not ungly bursd on the beach with the deck chair and the crab? A thousand pox on your cabbages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorgiewave Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 A thousand pox on your cabbages. What will my goats eat? I have no carrots to give them, my pension has been stolen by the Mr Romanov. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ERjambo Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 "May your next sh-it be a hedgehog!" Sure that was what mad Vlad said under his breath to Andy Walker at Tynecastle once. So a good Lithuanian friend said at the time anyway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bilel Mohsni Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 What will my goats eat? I have no carrots to give them, my pension has been stolen by the Mr Romanov. Bitter nut squash? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ERjambo Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I went off to find his frog poetry and found this Q&A with Vlad... Q: Will you readily turf someone out if they play a bad game? A: I'm also willing to punch them in the face if required. Q: What is the attitude towards Russian club owners in the West? A: They try to present us as aborigines ie primitives, something from ice age. Q: Why do they try to do that? A: Due to a lack of intelligence. When people say I am from the ice age, I am happy to play the part. Q: In what way? A: I might punch the referee or someone else. Q: Has that really happened? A: Not with me. But it happened to Saulius Mikolunius. Somone was pulling his shirt. He lost his temper and ran up and shoved the referee. Q: Is it true that you write poetry and when did you start? A: Five years ago, I found myself in a stressful situation. Russian businessmen "put the squeeze on me" - sell us your shares, or we'll bury you on the spot. I sat there, not knowing what to do, and spent three days writing. Q: What do you write about? A: About life. In verse, you can always find the meaning of life. For example, in my poem entitled "The Frog". I wrote it when I was out walking in the hills after it had been raining. Sometimes I ask myself why it is that people leap around like frogs in the kingdom of the bog. The Frog by Vladimir Romanov The mountain road rumbles After the heavenly rains The hills fill with gurgles and murmurs Beneath the order of the earth's dome, A white stone lies in the bog Under a solitary reed, All puffed up, a frog croaks At the call of his restless mate. Longing to be with her,he puffs out his chest To be number one in this boggy kingdom And produce a dynasty of brave offspring Who will trumpet the glory of these places, A living symphony Above the ordered chaos of the earth, And the clock ticks To mark my passing years. Mad as a box of frogs is our Vlad! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo-Chappy Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 If a shepherd empties his bowels last thing at night, the sheep will have a red face in the morning. Not sure if that was Vlad or Ivor Cutler. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ERjambo Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 "When the seagulls follow the trawler..." No wait! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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