Watching loved one's deal with Cancer

[Better call Saul]

Why I post on a public forum ? I don't know ! but here goes

 

My Wife's Dad has Cancer ( MYELOMOA ) and I have never known or had to deal with this type of sadness , Watching a really nice gentleman / loved one fall victim to this horrid disease ! the poor bloke now sleeps all day and my poor wife thinks he has 6 to 12 months although i think it looks much sooner ,

 

Watched a friend lose his mother to Cancer and that was sad enough ..

 

He has been told that nothing else can help him and now how he is morphine dependent ,

 

 

 

 

Getting old has its hurdles to jump over .. don't you think ?

[Hansel]

That's horrible mate. I lost my gran to cancer about 10 years ago, and when I visited her at the Marie Curie hospice I was nearly in tears at the sight of her.

 

Sorry that you're going through this mate.

[southside1874]

If the old boy is on the morphine then its not long to go. See the old boy out and look after the wife. Such a sad experience. If you can muster a week in the sun after the event it does help a wee bit.

[rael11]

Been through this 3 times in the past five and a half years with my mum, dad and brother. It's feckin horrible, but by the end it's almost a relief just because their suffering is over. In my experience, they go downhill very rapidly towards the end and it's heartbreaking to watch. Chin up mate and be strong for your Mrs.

[3fingersreid]

I watched my dad a 6ft 2inch 16stone Scots Guards man suffer for two years with prostate cancer seeing him shrink to just over 9stone when he died and watch him in pain every day was absolute hell so strangely when he died I was kind of relieved for him- and my mum as it wsas killing her too- given that it was a long process we had plenty time to talk about things which helped thats what your wife needs to do it`ll help her when the time comes

 

all I think about now is the good times with him it does get easier

[Serge]

I lost my wife to cancer 12 years ago, when we were both in our 30's. I know how it feels.

 

You can see exactly how things are going to pan out but you know that everybody else's lives and all other plans must be on hold until it ends.

It's strange, but as rael11 says, it's almost a relief when their suffering is over. I think that in situations like this you're actually grieving already and you don't realise it, and it's tough to grieve but still go about your normal lives.

 

I wish there was something uplifting I could say that could make things better for you and your wife, but you've just got to stick it out and give her support.

 

The people at Maggie's Centre are really good if you just want a blether.

[Budgie.]

Sorry to hear that mate.

 

Going through exactly the same just now with my cousin. He has battled so bravely over the last six months but it's sadly a matter of time now.

 

Just a horrible, horrible disease.

 

Thoughts with all those who have lost loved ones to cancer.

[Remnants of Standards]

I'm over in NZ just now having watched my dad slowly being taken from us with a brain tumour so i know what the OP is going through. The old man beat it twice in his bladder and lung but it really was third time unlucky for him.

 

Mind you, his constant smoking didn't help his case but it was a dreadful thing to see in someone who you care for so much in so much pain.

He only lasted a week after going into hospital (supposedly to stabilise his medication (which consisted of around seven different types of tablets which just confused him even more)which was mabye a blessing in disguise although it didn't feel like that at the time.

 

We gave him a great send-off though with lots of laughter, stories and live music at his funeral/celebration which summed the guy up to a T....and that's what is important through all of this....is being able to laugh and use humour as a weapon against this terrible disease and to make sure the family supports each other 100% through this also.

 

My thoughts are with you Clark.

[Sheiky Baby]

Why I post on a public forum ? I don't know ! but here goes

 

My Wife's Dad has Cancer ( MYELOMOA ) and I have never known or had to deal with this type of sadness , Watching a really nice gentleman / loved one fall victim to this horrid disease ! the poor bloke now sleeps all day and my poor wife thinks he has 6 to 12 months although i think it looks much sooner ,

 

Watched a friend lose his mother to Cancer and that was sad enough ..

 

Know exactly how you feel, two years ago my now fiance's Dad died (We were both 25 at the time) and to see her in the state she was in was heart breaking considering how young she was. I was inconsolable at the funeral seeing her upset and her Dad was an absolute legend.

 

She still has her moments even now and I don't think it'll ever sink in. Chin up though fella just be there for her as best as you can.

[Beverley]

its one of the most awful things, if not the most awful thing, you'll ever have to witness.

 

i remember one of the last arguments i had with my mum when she was saying we didn't understand what she was going through. took me telling her that she'd never understand how it was for us, watching this and being able to do nothing at all to change it, make it go away or be able to help stop it in any way before she calmed down.

 

wish you all the best, and thinking of you as i know fully what you'll be going through.

 

it doesn't get better, but it will get easier to deal with. i promise

[eduardo.j]

really sorry to hear your news mate,my mother battled cancer for 11 years started off as breast cancer which she was cleared of but came back in her bones and then her liver, stayed very dormant mind you until two weeks before christmas 2008, they told her it was all over her liver and it was a matter of time.

 

she passed away 14th of febuary 2009, the decline was really fast.

 

anytime a friend of mine does anything for cancer i always give ?20 towards the cause because it means a lot to me

[Darren]

My friend lost her mum to cancer a couple of years back and I think I was sadder at that funeral than the family ones I've been too recently. Such a waste.

[Dusk_Till_Dawn]

I've given ?5 a month - pathetic donation really - to cancer research for about 15 years and one day all the work will pay off. My grandad died of liver cancer and I don't think there's anyway of rationalising it. Horrible, horrible disease

[Tams bird]

My aunty had a cough for a few years but didnt bother. Took ill 3 months ago and went to A&E. Told next day cancer, as its near her heart cant do anything. Told her she has months rather than years...She has got her papers bank etc sorted out so my uncle dosnt have to do it..

[Jed The Jedi]

Its an utter c u next tuseday (sorry mods) of a disease. Lost my wife (46) to it in January this year, its taken me ages to pluck up the courage to actually reply to this thread. Like a few posters have said, watching someone who you love going through the sheer hell of this disease absolutley brings you to your knees. With my wife it was breast cancer that appeared about 5 years ago, a right old shock to the system to put it mildly, but the guys at the Western were outstanding, an operation followed by months of chemo, and they were delighted by the results. The funny thing is once she was back to normal, working, socialising etc after a while it just about got pushed to the back of my mind that she had actually had it, then boom December 2010, it reared its godawful ugly head again. More chemo but this time dont ask me how, i knew it was different and she gradually went down hill slowly over the course of 2011, it had spread to her brain and liver, i'll never forget sitting in the consultants office and him saying the words "2 months maybe a year", it took me all the willpower i had not to throw up on the spot. She went into St Columbace on the 27 December 2011 and passed away on the 5th of January 2012. At times i think im worse 5 months down the line than i was at the begining,a song, a silly thought, passing a pub you had a drink in can reduce me to tears instantly (welling up as i type this, silly sod). We were married for 25 years and had known her for 30 so i think its going to be a hell of a long time until i'm even half over her but i have 2 beautiful daughters to keep me going, both of whom are raising money like mad for the moonwalk in memory of their mum.

[H2]

Its an utter c u next tuseday (sorry mods) of a disease. Lost my wife (46) to it in January this year, its taken me ages to pluck up the courage to actually reply to this thread. Like a few posters have said, watching someone who you love going through the sheer hell of this disease absolutley brings you to your knees. With my wife it was breast cancer that appeared about 5 years ago, a right old shock to the system to put it mildly, but the guys at the Western were outstanding, an operation followed by months of chemo, and they were delighted by the results. The funny thing is once she was back to normal, working, socialising etc after a while it just about got pushed to the back of my mind that she had actually had it, then boom December 2010, it reared its godawful ugly head again. More chemo but this time dont ask me how, i knew it was different and she gradually went down hill slowly over the course of 2011, it had spread to her brain and liver, i'll never forget sitting in the consultants office and him saying the words "2 months maybe a year", it took me all the willpower i had not to throw up on the spot. She went into St Columbace on the 27 December 2011 and passed away on the 5th of January 2012. At times i think im worse 5 months down the line than i was at the begining,a song, a silly thought, passing a pub you had a drink in can reduce me to tears instantly (welling up as i type this, silly sod). We were married for 25 years and had known her for 30 so i think its going to be a hell of a long time until i'm even half over her but i have 2 beautiful daughters to keep me going, both of whom are raising money like mad for the moonwalk in memory of their mum.

Wow, that's a tough post. You have my utmost respect and empathy. My mother died of cancer at the age of 49, some similarities. I really wish you and your girls strength and all the best for the future.

[Angry Haggis]

Its an utter c u next tuseday (sorry mods) of a disease. Lost my wife (46) to it in January this year, its taken me ages to pluck up the courage to actually reply to this thread. Like a few posters have said, watching someone who you love going through the sheer hell of this disease absolutley brings you to your knees. With my wife it was breast cancer that appeared about 5 years ago, a right old shock to the system to put it mildly, but the guys at the Western were outstanding, an operation followed by months of chemo, and they were delighted by the results. The funny thing is once she was back to normal, working, socialising etc after a while it just about got pushed to the back of my mind that she had actually had it, then boom December 2010, it reared its godawful ugly head again. More chemo but this time dont ask me how, i knew it was different and she gradually went down hill slowly over the course of 2011, it had spread to her brain and liver, i'll never forget sitting in the consultants office and him saying the words "2 months maybe a year", it took me all the willpower i had not to throw up on the spot. She went into St Columbace on the 27 December 2011 and passed away on the 5th of January 2012. At times i think im worse 5 months down the line than i was at the begining,a song, a silly thought, passing a pub you had a drink in can reduce me to tears instantly (welling up as i type this, silly sod). We were married for 25 years and had known her for 30 so i think its going to be a hell of a long time until i'm even half over her but i have 2 beautiful daughters to keep me going, both of whom are raising money like mad for the moonwalk in memory of their mum.

 

Respect mate..it's rare that a post on a message forum comes across with as much emotion as yours.

[Floyd]

Its an utter c u next tuseday (sorry mods) of a disease. Lost my wife (46) to it in January this year, its taken me ages to pluck up the courage to actually reply to this thread. Like a few posters have said, watching someone who you love going through the sheer hell of this disease absolutley brings you to your knees. With my wife it was breast cancer that appeared about 5 years ago, a right old shock to the system to put it mildly, but the guys at the Western were outstanding, an operation followed by months of chemo, and they were delighted by the results. The funny thing is once she was back to normal, working, socialising etc after a while it just about got pushed to the back of my mind that she had actually had it, then boom December 2010, it reared its godawful ugly head again. More chemo but this time dont ask me how, i knew it was different and she gradually went down hill slowly over the course of 2011, it had spread to her brain and liver, i'll never forget sitting in the consultants office and him saying the words "2 months maybe a year", it took me all the willpower i had not to throw up on the spot. She went into St Columbace on the 27 December 2011 and passed away on the 5th of January 2012. At times i think im worse 5 months down the line than i was at the begining,a song, a silly thought, passing a pub you had a drink in can reduce me to tears instantly (welling up as i type this, silly sod). We were married for 25 years and had known her for 30 so i think its going to be a hell of a long time until i'm even half over her but i have 2 beautiful daughters to keep me going, both of whom are raising money like mad for the moonwalk in memory of their mum.

 

Really brave post my friend!

 

Glad you have your daughters to keep you going. My mum had breast cancer while pregnant with my younger brother, ignored the offer of chemo & radio incase it harmed or killed him but she got treatment afterwards and has been fine since. Touch wood!

 

Lost my papa too it though, and have seen it impact on far too many people's life's.

 

It really is a c u next Tuesday of a disease.

[JamboJen]

Cancer's an absolute ****.

 

My mum was originally diagnosed with breast cancer in November 2006 and got the whole works at the Western general - mastectomy, chemo, radiotherapy.

 

Things went well and after all of the treatment they were happy that all of her scans showed no cancer. Having taken early retirement about 6 months before she was diagnosed she decided to take herself on a wee trip around the world and did 6 months of what she called a "gap year for adults" in China, Thailand and other amazing places in that part of the world.

 

Around Christmas 2008 she started to feel unwell, saying that something just "wasn't right" in her abdomen. She went back to the Western and scans showed cancer in her liver. They reckoned that the initial breast cancer had spread quickly to her liver when she was first diagnosed but all of the original treatments attacked it so well that the cancer in her liver was never big enough to show up on any scans and only after the treatment had finished did it start to grow.

 

She aterted a new range of treatments but having something of a medical background I knew the prognosis wasn't good. Five year survival rates for liver mets weren't favourable although that was something that was never spoken about as my mum continued to live life to the full and do as much as she could.

 

Treatments were a complete ****er but she somehow always managed to keep her spirits high and although there were sad times they were very few and far between. Last February she arranged my grandad's 90th birthday and as always was the wonderful hostess. Even when things got worse medically she somehow found the strength to fight through it. She was admitted to the Western last July because she was having huge problems with water retention - to the point where she looked pregnant. After a number of treatments and more tests her doctors delivered the news that they believed the treatment was no longer working and they would be looking at palliative care options from them on.

 

Amazingly the following day my mum felt much better and dragged her dripstand down the stairs and went for a couple of laps of the visitors car parks.her body seemed to respond and her liver function improved and her doctors mentioned trying a new type of chemo. That first real blip though was a sign of the way things were going and a couple of weeks later she began to struggle again and became very tired and uncomfortable. Her District Nurse recommended a short stay in the Marie Curie hospice to give her a chance to just rest and let them sort out her medication etc. My mum had always said she'd never go to a hospice as it was somewhere to go and die but I think she knew in herself it was the best thing for her. My dad drove her up there and she walked in the building carrying her own bags.

 

Almost as if she knew deep down that she'd be taken care of, she very quickly went downhill. Tests showed that most of her organs were shutting down and the doctors were astounded that she'd kept up her day-to-day activities until a couple of days before her admission. She walked a few streets to go for coffee at her friend's house just 48 hours before she went to the Marie Curie but passed away less than a week after her admission at the age of 61. She died 4 years and 9 months after her initial diagnosis and while it's not a huge amount of time she packed a hell of a lot of stuff into it.

 

I never used to understand when people said they thought of someone who had died every day until it happened to me. I'm not one of those people who's really close to their family and talks to them all the time but that doesn't stop me thinking about my mum all the time. It's hard to believe it's been 9 months since she died, you almost feel guilty that time's still speeding on but she's not here anymore.

 

The saddest thing I think I've ever heard was my dad a couple of days after my mum died. He said he'd had a very peaceful sleep and woke up feeing very calm and with a completely empty head at about 6am. He turned over in bed and saw my mum's side of the bed empty and it took him a split second to remember why it was empty and said it was like her dying all over again. I think I'll remember that conversation until the day I die, and it'll make me cry every time I do.

[graygo]

I've nothing to add to this thread really.

 

My best mate died a few years ago to this evil illness. It still hurts now even though I know I did all I could to make the couple of months he had to suffer with it as easy as possible. (not the right words)

 

Even just being able to type that has given me a wee bit comfort as it's something that I've been bottling up.

 

My thoughts go out to everyone who has had this curse in their life, one day it will be looked upon in a similar way to smallpox or bubonic plague.

 

That day cannot come quick enough.

[The Doctor]

Some very brave people posting on this thread. I admire you all, especially the way you are all so supportive of one another.

 

I've not had the kind of closeness to this horrific disease that most of you have, nobody very close to me, but I think if there is an antidote to the despair you feel, it's that you find support and love amongst family and friends.

[Guest]

I'll never forget the nurse directing me to the "quiet room". I knew then

 

For what its worth time is a great healer, but time, well it unforunately takes takes time

[bighusref]

I don't know the true agony that many on this thread know, but I have admiration, respect and humility at their tales.

 

I was slightly touched by cancer this week. A friend (early forties) was in hospital for issues with her gall bladder, following tests, she was diagnosed with cancer, moved to a hospice and died a few short days later on Thursday. I won't lie, I'm still in a bit of shock about it, but the news is/was horrible.

 

The only saving grace is that she didn't suffer for long like some incredibly brave people mentioned on this thread.

 

RIP and god bless.

[Jed The Jedi]

Cancer's an absolute ****.

 

My mum was originally diagnosed with breast cancer in November 2006 and got the whole works at the Western general - mastectomy, chemo, radiotherapy.

 

Things went well and after all of the treatment they were happy that all of her scans showed no cancer. Having taken early retirement about 6 months before she was diagnosed she decided to take herself on a wee trip around the world and did 6 months of what she called a "gap year for adults" in China, Thailand and other amazing places in that part of the world.

 

Around Christmas 2008 she started to feel unwell, saying that something just "wasn't right" in her abdomen. She went back to the Western and scans showed cancer in her liver. They reckoned that the initial breast cancer had spread quickly to her liver when she was first diagnosed but all of the original treatments attacked it so well that the cancer in her liver was never big enough to show up on any scans and only after the treatment had finished did it start to grow.

 

She aterted a new range of treatments but having something of a medical background I knew the prognosis wasn't good. Five year survival rates for liver mets weren't favourable although that was something that was never spoken about as my mum continued to live life to the full and do as much as she could.

 

Treatments were a complete ****er but she somehow always managed to keep her spirits high and although there were sad times they were very few and far between. Last February she arranged my grandad's 90th birthday and as always was the wonderful hostess. Even when things got worse medically she somehow found the strength to fight through it. She was admitted to the Western last July because she was having huge problems with water retention - to the point where she looked pregnant. After a number of treatments and more tests her doctors delivered the news that they believed the treatment was no longer working and they would be looking at palliative care options from them on.

 

Amazingly the following day my mum felt much better and dragged her dripstand down the stairs and went for a couple of laps of the visitors car parks.her body seemed to respond and her liver function improved and her doctors mentioned trying a new type of chemo. That first real blip though was a sign of the way things were going and a couple of weeks later she began to struggle again and became very tired and uncomfortable. Her District Nurse recommended a short stay in the Marie Curie hospice to give her a chance to just rest and let them sort out her medication etc. My mum had always said she'd never go to a hospice as it was somewhere to go and die but I think she knew in herself it was the best thing for her. My dad drove her up there and she walked in the building carrying her own bags.

 

Almost as if she knew deep down that she'd be taken care of, she very quickly went downhill. Tests showed that most of her organs were shutting down and the doctors were astounded that she'd kept up her day-to-day activities until a couple of days before her admission. She walked a few streets to go for coffee at her friend's house just 48 hours before she went to the Marie Curie but passed away less than a week after her admission at the age of 61. She died 4 years and 9 months after her initial diagnosis and while it's not a huge amount of time she packed a hell of a lot of stuff into it.

 

I never used to understand when people said they thought of someone who had died every day until it happened to me. I'm not one of those people who's really close to their family and talks to them all the time but that doesn't stop me thinking about my mum all the time. It's hard to believe it's been 9 months since she died, you almost feel guilty that time's still speeding on but she's not here anymore.

The saddest thing I think I've ever heard was my dad a couple of days after my mum died. He said he'd had a very peaceful sleep and woke up feeing very calm and with a completely empty head at about 6am. He turned over in bed and saw my mum's side of the bed empty and it took him a split second to remember why it was empty and said it was like her dying all over again. I think I'll remember that conversation until the day I die, and it'll make me cry every time I do.

 

 

Lovley from the heart post Jen. This just made me have a good bubble to myself as i know exactly how you dad feels

[K1874M]

Lost my mum 4 weeks after diagnosis. Was the most horrific and damaging thing to ever happen to me or my family. Unthinkable, even now.

[davemclaren]

Some heart wrenching stories. It's a terrible disease.

[Gregory House M.D.]

Lost my gran to it and think it's what my great-aunt & great grandad died of as well but I was too young to remember if it was. Grandads currently got this ***** of a disease but it's looking promising for him just now (touch wood) as they got it with surgery. Still a tiny tumour there but they don't want to give him chemo as he's too old and has just recovered from 3 operations but they've said they'll monitor the small tumour.

 

Folk have said in this thread that watching them suffer made them relieved when they died and I was the same. It feels strange to say but at least they're out of the misery and grips of that horrible disease. Think my gran knew it was time actually as she asked the nurse to fluff up her pillows and stuff and then she was away not long after.

 

Terrible disease and my heart goes out to anyone suffering from it and anyone who has a loved one suffering from it.

[Moncs]

Reading some of these stories really have brought tears to my eyes.

 

I lost my dad just over three years ago.

 

My mum died suddenly when I was only 19 and my dad remarried to an American women 11 years later and moved over there when he retired. I remember him calling me a few days before his birthday in November 2008 and I thought it was a crank phonecall at first as no one spoke then he said 'Its me son' and started to cry... he said he was at the hospital and they found a shadow on his lung after a scan. I knew he was getting a check up but had no idea it was anything serious.

 

I went over to see him a few weeks later, by then it was confirmed he had lung cancer and secondary cancer in the brain. He was determined to beat it and just started his chemo. I stayed a week and left him in good spirts, I also told him he was going to be a grandad again, giving him something to look forward to and fight for.

 

Sadly in the march he was told the medication was not working and there was nothing more that could be done, they said he had 3 or 4 months at the most. I went over in April and met someone who had changed so much in not only appearance but also his state of ind. He was always a big guy and now in the space of 4 months since i had last seen him had faded away to a shadow of his former self.

 

The day I arrived he was able to walk unaided, three days later he was bedbound and unable to do anything for himself. I remember sitting talking to him for hours at a time, just about rubbish about football, growing up etc praying to was able to hear me, then one day I was on the phone to one of my daughters who was 8 at the time and I put the phone to his ear and she said, 'I miss you grandad, hope you get better soon', he suddenly sat up with the biggest smile ever on his face, that will live with me forever.

 

As some of the people here have already said, I prayed for him to pass away as I just wanting his suffering to end, thankfully he only suffered another few days before he passed away.

 

A horrible horrible disease which hopefully a cure will be found for some day soon.

[Brandt]

Heart goes out to you mate. Read that one in three people will be affected by cancer at some stage in their life. Truly frightening stat. My friend was saying that real hope is the DNA nano-robots which hunt and destroy the cancer cells.

 

Makes you really angry, the billions the UK government has squandered on wars and the like that could be spent on finding a cure for this terrible disease.

 

Wasted:

 

?76bn Wasted on Trident Nuclear Missile System.

?17bn Wasted on Unnecessary High Speed Rail Link to save commuters 20 minutes.

?1bn Wasted on Perk Credit Cards.

700m Trams.

?9.24bn Iraq War

?18bn Afghanistan war

 

From cancer research: Back in 2002, NCRI members spent ?257m on cancer research in the UK. Now, they?re spending almost double on cancer research each year ? over ?500m.

Funding should at least trebled for research. Cancer affects literally everybody in a way, the rich, the poor and politicians.

[J.T.F.Robertson]

I believe I have a heavy phobia with this disease. (well, the ageing and death process in general, but it, in particular) So much so, in fact, it took a bit of "courage" for me to click on the thread title.

My utmost respect and sympathy go to the contributors. I hope you find peace.

 

"ABIDE WITH ME", such a beautiful but melancholy hymn.

[Budgie.]

Sorry to hear that mate.

 

Going through exactly the same just now with my cousin. He has battled so bravely over the last six months but it's sadly a matter of time now.

 

Just a horrible, horrible disease.

 

Thoughts with all those who have lost loved ones to cancer.

 

After a long and brave fight my cousin finally lost his battle tonight.

 

The emotion I feel right now more than sadness is anger. Anger that this awful disease continues to ruin lives and cause such pain and suffering.

 

One of the kindest, warm hearted and fun-loving people I've ever known reduced to a shadow of himself and forced to live in pain. At least his pain is now gone.

 

There is one more star in the sky tonight and if there is a dancefloor up there it won't be long till he is on it.

 

 

.

[Johanes de Silentio]

After a long and bravr fight my cousin finally lost his battle tonight.

 

The emotion I feel right now more than sadness is anger. Anger that this awful disease continues to ruin lives and cause such pain and suffering.

 

One of the kindest, warm hearted and fun-loving people I've ever known reduced to a shadow of himself and forced to live in pain. At least his pain is now gone.

 

There is one more star in the sky tonight.

 

.

 

Very sorry to hear that, mate - stick in.

 

Al.

[Better call Saul]

Very sorry to hear that, mate - stick in.

 

Al.

 

Very sad news ,

 

I started this thread when we were watching our loved one deal with this , sadly he passed away a few weeks back ,

One thing that I was sad to discover was watching my wife , her brother and mum watch my father in law lay on a bed unconscious with no quality of life and how it began to drain everyone around him ...we were happy in a weird way that he was at peace finally , looking back at it all ...how cruel it all was for everyone more so Robin .

[graygo]

Two funerals of friends I've been to already this year already due to this b***ard of a disease and I've got another one this week.

 

RIP Rita x

[Sharpie]

Went home when my mother was in hospital, when I arrived she said I knew you would come, now I'll get home and it will all be alright. She was dead two days later, but my small effort did give her some hope. Pancreatic cancer, not often beaten.

 

My father was unable to look after himself after her death, brought him to Canada and we looked after him for two years before he died of cancer pretty much throughout his body.

 

As far as I know everyone in our family has died of cancer in one form or another. My sister had both breasts removed because of cancer, she has survived for twelve years, I had my colon cancer, clear now for five and a half years, it is a devastating terrifying disease, but despite the family history of cancer, all the departed lived well into their eighties, my sister is now eighty three, and I am seventy seven, no doubt what will get us, but the Sharp/Mackenzie genes, Fifer and Teuchter Combo, don't allow us to go early.

 

As said it is a terrible disease, it is frightening, and it is hard to deal with as a patient, but be thankful for what you have had, what you have got, and always keep the faith, after the darkest night, there is always a dawn, and such is the same with life.

[Victor Mancini]

My girlfriends dad lost his battle with cancer at the start of may, I seen this thread around that time but didn't feel ready to contribute, he was a fit and healthy non-smoker in his mid fifties and took a knock to the ribs whilst playing his weekly 5-a-side game in may 2009, it kept bothering him so he went to his GP, and it was confirmed that he had lung cancer, iirc he was given a life expectancy of 6-9 months, it was pretty harrowing as he had 2 younger kids(8 & 10 now) as well as my missus and her big sister and had an excellent relationship with all 4 of his kids-a proper family man, he bravely fought the disease and overcame it only for it to come back, around december 2011 his health declined rapidly and in april he was moved to St Columbus hospice, the staff there were second to none, very supportive and as accommodating as possible.

Can't say we were very close, and when we did chat out only common ground was football-even though he supported celtic! What struck me most was the way he coped with the disease he was so strong in his fight, never once breaking down and staying strong whilst everyone welled up watching his health decline, I could only admire and respect his mental strength.

We all done a 12 mile sponsored walk from balerno to leith for st columbus hospice raising a nice sum to add to the 4 figures that was collected at his funeral for the hospice, and my missus and her mum done the race for life on sunday, her wee brother(10 years old) said to my missus that it wasn't fair that she had so much time with dad and he was going to miss the fun times they shared, it broke both our hearts when the wee guy said that,

he suggested doing a sponsored cycle from edinburgh to glasgow to raise even more money for the hospice which I think is so admirable for a 10 year old.

I've been fortunate that no-one from my family has had to fight cancer, seeing how the disease affects people and there loved ones is harrowing,

[Stuarty]

... these tales bring a tear to my eye!

 

We lost my mother in-law to lung cancer in May 2007. Her diagnoses was 6 months to live but she barley survived 12 weeks. Her decline (as many have said) was rapid. She was placed in an induced coma which at the end of the day was the best for all concerned.

 

We live in Canada and I amongst many others ride our bikes every year for over 200 km to raise funds to help the fight this rancid disease. During the bike ride cancer researchers are invited to talk of their work. It brings a tear to my eye when they talk of their dedication to finding a cure for cancer. I for one will do whatever I can to help participate in the fight. Some things are just worth fighting for...

[LeylandJambo]

A couple of years ago a very good family friend lost her 5 year old to a rare form of leukemia my wife was her godmother. It took my wife months to get over it god only knows how the girls parents were. The wee ones last words will live with me forever " mummy I'm tired can I go to sleep " . The tears still well up in my eyes now. Anybody who has suffered or has family that's suffered from this disease has my deepest heartfelt sympathies.

[1874robbo]

Very sad story leylandjambo, you made the tears well up in my eyes reading that.

[jamboron]

As almost every post has stated, it is 1 of the most evil diseases to have to suffer from , I lost my mother to it on 13th May 2006 just before I was leaving the house to go to Hampden for the cup final, she still is in all my families thoughts. You never get back to normal after this fc uking disease, but life does get easier as time goes by.

 

My thoughts go to the OP and their family, and to everyone else who are facing similar scenarios.

[redm]

Don't have anything topical I want to contribute to this thread but felt like I should acknowledge the fact that it must have taken some real balls for those of you who have posted stuff to get so honest about it. Upsetting topic, but some massively touching posts on here. Sometimes JKB astounds me in really good ways.

[Hmfctrickett]

This has taken me a wee while to respond to, like many (sadly) of the folks on here my family has been ravaged by cancer And i also have my own battles to face at the moment. I firmly believe the ppl at the hospices across Edinburgh the lothians and fife deserve medals! They have been some of the nicest, selfless people I have ever met and i know its their job etc but they really r like angels.

I also Really feel for some of the people who have commented on this thread. Havin had to recently watch someone very close die from this disease and be told myself about the big C word, it's not ever a good thing. But I understand why there are so many comments saying it was a relief to go in the end, I suppose ur body can only fight for so long

I did the race for life on Sunday, was the best feeling in the world,so goin to do more things like that next year and plan to raise a lot of money.

[Gorgiewave]

Both of my grandfathers died of avoidable cancers. One, due to overeating and probably alcohol, the other, due to smoking and alcohol.

This may not be the time to be evangelical, but by avoiding smoking, following a healthy diet, keeping alcohol consumption moderate and doing regular exercise, many of these cases could be prevented (I know many cancers have nothing to do with these habits). We can do a lot to look after ourselves.

 

I found Christopher Hitchens's columns about cancer especially enlightening (he died of oesophageal cancer last December):

http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2010/09/hitchens-201009

http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2011/06/christopher-hitchens-unspoken-truths-201106

http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2012/01/hitchens-201201

 

 

 

[Jezza]

Think my old man has it, lost loads of weight and looks major unwell. Apparently the coach he was getting to the airport last week had to stop 3 times for him being sick.

 

He's always been big and strong and when I pulled him up about it a few days back he just goes he wants to get through my brothers wedding before thinking about it.

 

Major shitting myself and forcing him to get to the doctors ASAP.

[Jezza]

Think my old man has it, lost loads of weight and looks major unwell. Apparently the coach he was getting to the airport last week had to stop 3 times for him being sick.

 

He's always been big and strong and when I pulled him up about it a few days back he just goes he wants to get through my brothers wedding before thinking about it.

 

Major shitting myself and forcing him to get to the doctors ASAP.

 

Mon then kickback tell me it's going to get better.

 

My old man has cancer in his neck and just got all his teeth removed yesterday as procedure as a pre op.

 

My big strong man dad is half the size he was even in march.

 

Any alternatives to not getting hammered when leaving the parents and getting home I would love to know.

[Budgie.]

Mon then kickback tell me it's going to get better.

 

My old man has cancer in his neck and just got all his teeth removed yesterday as procedure as a pre op.

 

My big strong man dad is half the size he was even in march.

 

Any alternatives to not getting hammered when leaving the parents and getting home I would love to know.

 

Really sorry to hear that mate.

 

I know it's hard but don't lose hope. My cousin's wife was given little chance of surviving her cancer. She went through loads of chemo and she made it. She shrunk away to nothing at one point but now is back healthy and looks almost like her old self.

 

Thoughts with you bud.

 

.

[Victor Mancini]

Any alternatives to not getting hammered when leaving the parents and getting home I would love to know.

 

Sorry to hear that Jezza, I remember reading your original post and when you reckoned your old man knew what was up, he's obviously a strong character I hope he pulls through it,

I'm sure its easier said than done but try to stay positive for your mum and siblings sake, and avoid getting trollied as it will just add to the stress everyone in your family will be feeling right now,

 

As I said earlier in the thread I've been fortunate that no-one in my family has suffered from that terrible disease but I seen first hand how affects families after my missus lost her dad to it, we took a some comfort from fundraising for st columbus hospice(and cancer research)

 

Chin up mate

[Jezza]

Cheers guys. Don't really know what more to say or do at the moment. The selfish part of me just wants to ignore it and think everything is good.

 

Can only pray and be strong.

[The Future's Maroon]

I have nothing but respect and admiration for those who have posted on this thread, must have taken a load of balls to post your stories, especially as so many of them are about close family relatives.

 

Personally, it has affected me but only through my ex's Step Dad. He was a non-smoker about 18-20 stone and although heavy looked after himself and ate well. Around the turn of the year in 2011 he started complaing of a sore throat and struggling to swallow (even just water), he went to the Doctors who thought it was a throat infection....two months later it got a lot worse. Turns out he had the horrible disease in his asophogus (basically the tube that goes from throat to stomach). He was dealing with it ok until around June that year when it was into hospital he had to go, from there it was just downhill all the way in a matter of about a month he went from the big 18-20 stone happy soul to a shadow of himself about about 10 stone.

 

For the ex, who had already lost her Dad when he suddenly dropped dead with a massive heart attack about eight years earlier, this was really taking its toll on her...eventually he passed away in the October...so roughly 9/10 months before all was well and bang he was gone. I was pretty close to the guy and it did affect me, but I was more there for the ex...that funeral has to be the worst I have been too, and that includes some of my own family.

 

It really took its toll on the ex and in the end was probably a factor in us splitting up...not something I can blame her for or hold against her.

 

Currently, my Dad has been told he has to go in for a biospy as they think they spotted something in his prostate while he was in hospital a few weeks ago...he tells me its a precationary thing but to be honest I think he is just keeping it quiet to apease myself and my pregnant Sister. So there is a small fear about my head just now, but I will wait till the results and see whats what.

 

So my heart goes out to those who have lost friends and family through this. Ever since the ex's Step Dad died, when I have been working I have always donated ?5 to Cancer Research...I have even been taking old clothes etc to their shops where as normally I would just bin them, but every little helps.

[Gregory House M.D.]

Sorry to hear about that Jezza. Getting hammered doesn't help. I done it, ended up fighting and had to visit my gran covered in cuts and bruises.

 

It really doesn't help but nothing really will to the way you feel. Just got to keep the head up for you and your old mans sakes.

 

Hope your dad wins his fight mate