Guest Just Came To Say Kello Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 It irks me that she's considered talented. She's not. Don't give me any of this "you just don't get it" pish, either. Also, she's a moany boot with a face like a slapped arse for someone who's probably the jammiest woman alive. Hope she stands on a plug. Most 'modern art' can just **** right off, tbh. I worked the Edinburgh Art Fair about 18 months ago and I saw a painting sell for ?3k that was basically just a canvas with some red paint brushed randomly over it. I did better than that in P4 when I painted about my day out at Laser Quest and my teacher didn't really like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Just Came To Say Kello Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Howard Hodgkin: pish. He got paid thousands for those Edit - just found out he's got a ******* Knighthood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shapes Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I've never heard of her These "paintings" though...I'm shite at art and I could probably do that... Edit: The Howard Hodgkin ones genuinely look like things I painted when I was in nursery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Just Came To Say Kello Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Martin Boyce: roaster. Won the Turner Prize for his work "Do Words Have voices". What does that mean? What does that even ******* mean? He's stealing a living. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-16008970 "..whose work includes artificial trees and a leaning letter bin.." **** off you talentless shyster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Just Came To Say Kello Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Lucy Skaer: simpleton. This isn't art. What's it supposed to represent? What's it supposed to evoke? Why have all the past few YBAs from the Turner Prize shortlists that I've looked up (about 4 now) all live in Glasgow? That's terrible and means nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Howard Hodgkin: pish. He got paid thousands for those Edit - just found out he's got a ******* Knighthood. I do like some minimal abstract type stuff, however those two examples are terrible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Just Came To Say Kello Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Damian Hirst: welt (and terrorist congratulator). Here's a picture of an unremarkable cow: Here's Damian Hirst's meaningless and empty "Mother and Child Divided": Probably worth millions. Damian Hirst himself, according to Wiki, is worth around ?200 million. I despair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shapes Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I do like some modern art. The Guggenheim in Bilbao really interested me. I like stuff like this Anish Kapoor: Shooting in the corner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Just Came To Say Kello Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Bridget Riley: charlatan. Her works are basically just optical illusions you'd find in some children's book somewhere, where you'd glance at it for a second and go "oh, cool" before tossing it in the bucket. She's not as annoying as Tracey Emin, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Just Came To Say Kello Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Rachel Whiteread: imposter. "Here's some boxes an stuff that I arranged vaguely neatly." Anyone sold on this idea, to borrow from Clarkson, needs taken outside and shot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P-Dizzle Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I remember going to the modern art gallery one one exibit was about 12 Michael Jordan basketballs in their boxes. What the **** is that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coco Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Damian Hirst: welt (and terrorist congratulator). Here's a picture of an unremarkable cow: Here's Damian Hirst's meaningless and empty "Mother and Child Divided": Probably worth millions. Damian Hirst himself, according to Wiki, is worth around ?200 million. I despair. I like this one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All roads lead to Gorgie Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I have actually met her once and she seemed quite down to earth, but I agree her conceptial art or whatever it's called is baffling and how anybody can get rich on that beggers belief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Sheldon Cooper Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I went on an English trip to London in 5th year. We had to spend about 3 hours in the Tate Modern one afternoon. It absolutely dragged, really not my thing. Some art is just baffling, that 'swimming' painting for the olympics for example. You could paint it yourself in about 2 minutes . Why would someone pay millions for something like that? You can create it yourself for a fraction of the cost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cade Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Art for Art's sake. Modern Art for feck's sake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chester™ Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I share the OP's pain. Went to the Gallery of Modern Art a few weeks ago and was greeting by a 15 foot baby model thing, 'just out the womb'. I mean WTF?! Some of it was alright but most was pish. A good number of the paintings my mate's P3 class could have done the same or better. And its not as if the other gallery is much better either. I go in and see a sculpture and say a bit too loudly 'thats the Emperor from Star Wars'. Oooft! The looks I got! Coco's pic of the Lego is far more interesting and well done IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tian447 Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Here's a modern art piece I just done in paint. It's a cat, drawn in a Howard Hodgkin-esque style. It doesn't have eyes, a mouth or feet, because that's down to the users perception of what it would look like with eyes, a mouth and feet. The colours symbolize anything you want it to be. If you don't like it, then you obviously don't get it Sadly, this would be worth about 300K if he done it. I hate art. I hate artists. They are all incredibly weird, and mostly their work is utter pish, yet other incredibly pointless people appreciate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Just Came To Say Kello Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I hate art. I hate artists. They are all incredibly weird, and mostly their work is utter pish, yet other incredibly pointless people appreciate it. I think I love you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Just Came To Say Kello Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I have actually met her once and she seemed quite down to earth, but I agree her conceptial art or whatever it's called is baffling and how anybody can get rich on that beggers belief. She looks like Ms. Chokesondick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peter_hmfc Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Here's a modern art piece I just done in paint. Sadly, this would be worth about 300K if he done it. ?200, no ?300, no ?400 no... ?500,000,000 !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denny Crane Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Picasso pisses all over those muppets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homme Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Is the bird in the OP the one that is on Have I Got News For You now and again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uniwildcat38 Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I remember being quite taken by this piece when I first saw it at the Australian National Art Gallery as I thought it was taking the piss out of this sort of conceptual art: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/An_Oak_Tree Unfortunately on reading further it seems like the "artist" responsible was actually quite serious about it. This gives rise to uniwildcat38's First Law of Art "If I can do it, then it's not art." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peter_hmfc Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I remember being quite taken by this piece when I first saw it at the Australian National Art Gallery as I thought it was taking the piss out of this sort of conceptual art: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/An_Oak_Tree Unfortunately on reading further it seems like the "artist" responsible was actually quite serious about it. This gives rise to uniwildcat38's First Law of Art "If I can do it, then it's not art." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Just Came To Say Kello Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I remember being quite taken by this piece when I first saw it at the Australian National Art Gallery as I thought it was taking the piss out of this sort of conceptual art: http://en.wikipedia....iki/An_Oak_Tree Unfortunately on reading further it seems like the "artist" responsible was actually quite serious about it. This gives rise to uniwildcat38's First Law of Art "If I can do it, then it's not art." I wouldn't even shoot that one, I'd keep him around because he clearly has a cracking sense of humour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gizmo Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 A bunch of absolute chancers. Bridget Riley: "Bridget Riley is celebrated for her optically vibrant paintings. The horizontal lines in Rose Rose indicate the direction of the Olympic swimming lanes or athletic tracks. Riley, who began her career using only black and white patterns, started to experiment with colour in 1967, the same year she began painting stripes". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Just Came To Say Kello Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Anyone remember that ECA student from a couple of years ago that, for his private and "important" work, smashed a window but then got fined for it? found it: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/8419045.stm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamdub Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Art for Art's sake. Modern Art for feck's sake. 10CC I think..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gregory House M.D. Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Arts just ******* horrific altogether IMO. Complete dae as your telts drawing random shite with all these alternate meanings and moral superiority. Utter dross. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. T Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I love the symbolism here. The fact that the cat is made up of an 8 (or perhaps a vertically arranged infinity symbol, perhaps this represents an infinite cat - a cat like Deity) and an S which makes this instance of the cat instantly identifiable. The bright green stripes give it a vibrant and fresh aesthetic while the blue and red give it a strong british national identity. Perhaps the green stripes within the piece represent a desire on the behalf of the artist to represent Wales. My only regret is the overly detailed nose and whiskers, they represent a missed opportunity for the viewer to engage their imagination and find a more personal meaning to the piece within themselves. And that, my friends, is how you get a 2:1 for a dissertation on an arts course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Primavera Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 If you think all art is crap get yourself over to Amsterdam and see the Rembrants in the Rijksmuseum. Awesome. Unlike Emin, who reminds us that the Tale of Emperors New Cloths is still valid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coco Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Anyone remember that ECA student from a couple of years ago that, for his private and "important" work, smashed a window but then got fined for it? found it: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/8419045.stm There was a guy at ECA a couple of years ago who pinched all the doormats from Marchmont for his 'piece' and then laid them out on the ground. Incredible art. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Wiseau Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 A bunch of absolute chancers. Bridget Riley: "Bridget Riley is celebrated for her optically vibrant paintings. The horizontal lines in Rose Rose indicate the direction of the Olympic swimming lanes or athletic tracks. Riley, who began her career using only black and white patterns, started to experiment with colour in 1967, the same year she began painting stripes". I have wrapping paper just like that. Bought it in Paper Chase. Nice stuff. Arts just ******* horrific altogether IMO. Complete dae as your telts drawing random shite with all these alternate meanings and moral superiority. Utter dross. Yeah mate, art is horrific altogether. It's all shite. :Vlad-Stupid: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Currahee! Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 It irks me that she's considered talented. She's not. Don't give me any of this "you just don't get it" pish, either. Also, she's a moany boot with a face like a slapped arse for someone who's probably the jammiest woman alive. Hope she stands on a plug. Most 'modern art' can just **** right off, tbh. I worked the Edinburgh Art Fair about 18 months ago and I saw a painting sell for ?3k that was basically just a canvas with some red paint brushed randomly over it. I did better than that in P4 when I painted about my day out at Laser Quest and my teacher didn't really like it. I bet she's amazing in bed. She looks filthy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johanes de Silentio Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Art is short for Arthur. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 She'd still get it though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dobmisterdobster Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 If she can make money from a bunch of drooling imbecilic art fans then good on her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johanes de Silentio Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 She'd still get it though She's ******* horrible. Still, though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 she looks manky. I def would Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamborich Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I bet she's amazing in bed. She looks filthy. You would have to be as pished as she is to give it a go http://wzeu.ask.com/...h?v=HKNr2LOkXYE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bindy Badgy Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Here's a modern art piece I just done in paint. It's a cat, drawn in a Howard Hodgkin-esque style. It doesn't have eyes, a mouth or feet, because that's down to the users perception of what it would look like with eyes, a mouth and feet. The colours symbolize anything you want it to be. If you don't like it, then you obviously don't get it Sadly, this would be worth about 300K if he done it. I hate art. I hate artists. They are all incredibly weird, and mostly their work is utter pish, yet other incredibly pointless people appreciate it. It's a triumph darling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rand Paul's Ray Bans Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 More of an impressionist man myself. Give me a Monet any day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Give me a Monet any day. Show me the Monet!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gregory House M.D. Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I have wrapping paper just like that. Bought it in Paper Chase. Nice stuff. Yeah mate, art is horrific altogether. It's all shite. :Vlad-Stupid: Porn & football being the exception. Daft ******* drawings hanging on a wall and shite models made from used condoms or whatever the **** making it takes a fancy too just bores me to tears. It's like taking a shite on a white floor and claiming it has some deeper meaning than it just being a shite. Chancing *******s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Wiseau Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Porn & football being the exception. Daft ******* drawings hanging on a wall and shite models made from used condoms or whatever the **** making it takes a fancy too just bores me to tears. It's like taking a shite on a white floor and claiming it has some deeper meaning than it just being a shite. Chancing *******s. LIKE TAKING A SHIT ON A WHITE FLOOR LIKE TAKING A SHIT ON A WHITE FLOOR LIKE TAKING A SHIT ON A WHITE FLOOR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudi Skacel Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I dont understand art atall. Was there not a year a couple years ago where someone won a prize for their entry which was an unmade bed or something? If thats the case I should win it every morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 I dont understand art atall. Was there not a year a couple years ago where someone won a prize for their entry which was an unmade bed or something? If thats the case I should win it every morning i think it was tracy emin who did the unmade bed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gregory House M.D. Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 LIKE TAKING A SHIT ON A WHITE FLOOR LIKE TAKING A SHIT ON A WHITE FLOOR LIKE TAKING A SHIT ON A WHITE FLOOR Oh look a bursd standing on a shell. That's me seen the light. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Sheldon Cooper Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 i think it was tracy emin who did the unmade bed It was. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Bed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boomstick Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Oh look a bursd standing on a shell. That's me seen the light. I can understand slagging Emin but that's ******* Boticelli... Art is such an all encompassing term its a horrific celebration of ignorance to just write it all off. That's not just directed at you bb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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