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Disillusioned


davieholt

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I can reveal exclusively that the Tynie Tigers are not real tigers !

 

One of them fell over at the Gorgie end before the game last week and his head came off. There was a MAN inside !

 

Gutted

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Ah we've been rumbled.

 

Queue mass derision from the media.

 

"Hearts con kids with false idol who dives more than Mark Spitz"

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Sydney Devine

I can also exclusively reveal that Christian Nade is indeed not a fat pie munching, greggs bakery lovin, french pastry eating munter - he has been wearing a fat suit and is actually only 10 stone! Unbelievable!

 

 

 

 

 

 

At Riccarton yesterday, he parked his wee yellow car next to mine - I had a wee look in and there was no (I repeat) no empty Macdonald, KFC wrappers in the motor.

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Surprised this didnt make the highlights. Was one of the most eventful moments from saturday.

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Next you'll be telling me Jemma Jambo wasn't really black.

Was Hearty Harry really called Harry?

 

Justin actually, but Hearty Justin didn't seem to work somehow

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hearts_crazy

I can exclusively reveal that Calum Elliot is not in fact a wonderkid as Shaggy would have us believe, he is in fact just an ordinary punter who puts on a Hearts strip on a Saturday and then runs about the pitch aimlessly for 90 minutes for a laugh:p

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Seems every thing at Hearts is an illusion these days.

 

I have this vision of Shaggy unzipping his head and Rix appearing . . .

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So it IS Debbie McGhee we are getting, not Mark!

 

Well we do need someone to pull a big rabbit out off a small hat to try and turn this mess around.

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