Snake Plissken Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Gentlemen. The easiest match in our entire history is tomorrow night, it's not a case of if we will win, but by how many. I have never felt so confident before a match, if we fail to win by less than 10 the entire team should be transfer-listed and roundly booed for the rest of their days. Vlad could play up front tomorrow night on his own and bag a hat-trick, my dementia-ridden grandmother could play in goals and Elgin wouldn't score if the match lasted a week. Stephen Hawking could start a right wing and we'd still get into triple figures. Kevin Kyle will become our all-time top scorer just on the back of tomorrow's match. Elliot will net 26 goals, Elliott will hobble on and score a hat-trick and Toto will turn up and be given a lifetime contract on the back of his 7 goal cameo in the final six minutes of the game. We will beat puny Elgin with contemptuous ease. Nay! We will vanquish them, humiliate them, utterly obliterate them. The entire town of Elgin will be in mourning for years, the opposing players will turn into shivering wrecks after the thumping they will endure. Now join me in a hearty laugh at the expense of our opponents tomorrow night. Respect? Pah! That is for the weak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H.A.N.S Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 We will skittle them. Hearts -3 at 6/4 is a gift from William Hills. Get every penny you can get your hands on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acey Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Don't you ****ing jinx it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swanny17 Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 I reckon it will be 2-0 only, followed by meltdown on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jam Tarts 1874 Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Anything less than Arbroath's 36-0 record scoreline will not be acceptable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
portobellojambo1 Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Given some of our performances in this tournament in recent times I'll be quite happy to come home having watched HMFC qualify for the next round draw. This is a game which the team cannot really give total satisfaction in reality. If we only win 1-0 people will complain we weren't convincing enough, and if we win 5 or 6 nil people will complain we weren't ruthless enough. 1-0, even if it is down to a disputed penalty, will do me. Cup competitions aren't about anything other than making sure you get to the next round. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neave Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 I reckon it will be 2-0 only, followed by meltdown on here. Same thoughts here. Also agree with what PJ1's just said. Just get the **** through, Hearts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makateer Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MLry6Cn_D4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destruction Derby Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MLry6Cn_D4 I lasted 18 seconds of that then had to close it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skivingatwork Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Having followed Hearts for a good number of years and attented a lot of 'easy' cup games I would probably settle for a win on penalties right now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rossthejambo Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 I'll just be happy that we've got through the tie, with no injuries or suspensions. I've got too many bad memories of Airdrie cup ties to be over confident. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victorian Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 bah. some of us were at the montrose game and remember it well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snake Plissken Posted August 23, 2010 Author Share Posted August 23, 2010 Enough of the defeatist talk! This is ELGIN CITY we're playing, they're not COWDENBEATH, hell, they're not even MONTROSE. This will be a visit to Easy Street via a walk in the park Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fine Scottish Wine Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MLry6Cn_D4 .......teen o twooooo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leginten Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 The next person to mention Montrose takes a sore one with a baseball bat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alwaysthereinspirit Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 bah. some of us were at the montrose game and remember it well. Scottish cup against Forfar is my Montrose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitster Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 bah. some of us were at the montrose game and remember it well. Argghh! That's this thread completely cursed! Some of us were thinking that but didn't dare to type it. Couldn't help yourself huh Vic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snake Plissken Posted August 23, 2010 Author Share Posted August 23, 2010 Elgin City are a team comprised of the boys who got picked last at everything at school. FACT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 If I don't completely lose my voice celebrating goal after goal I will be seething. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaun.lawson Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Complete failure to out-Acey Acey by the OP imo. 5/10. Must do better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redm Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 I feel like I've contributed to tempting fate and building up some bad karma just by reading this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victorian Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 The next person to mention Montrose takes a sore one with a baseball bat. were you at the montrose game too leg? Scottish cup against Forfar is my Montrose. the montrose game is my forfar. Argghh! That's this thread completely cursed! Some of us were thinking that but didn't dare to type it. Couldn't help yourself huh Vic? it's only a word kitster. like death, or rabies, or aids, or hibs, or herpes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leginten Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 were you at the montrose game too leg? I was. But I have a more recent grudge against them. Details on the stickied betting thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victorian Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 I was. But I have a more recent grudge against them. Details on the stickied betting thread. ah. i now see. happens. please don't bet against them tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elginfan Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Enough of the defeatist talk! This is ELGIN CITY we're playing, they're not COWDENBEATH, hell, they're not even MONTROSE. [/img] Eh, we finished above Montrose last season mate Doesn't change the fact your going to thrash us tomorrow night though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johanes de Silentio Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Scottish cup against Forfar is my Montrose. I was at that game, and I saw us lose a league match at home to East Stirling! I findly remember two brothers (older guys, clearly MASSIVE Jambos) who sat in front of me in the Roseburn stand a few years back - they were both abolutely SEETHING because we had only beaten Cowdenbeath 5-0! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Complete failure to out-Acey Acey by the OP imo. 5/10. Must do better. I found this thread at least as funny as any of Acey's recent offerings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaun.lawson Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 I found this thread at least as funny as any of Acey's recent offerings. I'm saddened your expectation levels have clearly been so lowered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snake Plissken Posted August 23, 2010 Author Share Posted August 23, 2010 Eh, we finished above Montrose last season mate Doesn't change the fact your going to thrash us tomorrow night though! Correct. They will play a sad and softer song in Joanna's to mark the worst result in the club's history for weeks to come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Benoit Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 I found this thread at least as funny as any of Acey's recent offerings. I concur and poor show from Lawson putting down a young lad out to make a name for himself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victorian Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Eh, we finished above Montrose last season mate Doesn't change the fact your going to thrash us tomorrow night though! what do you think of our humble little madhouse of a forum mate? don't worry about the pagger on the thread you started, it's normal. not everyone likes each other you see. a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 I'm saddened your expectation levels have clearly been so lowered. At least I don't pretend certain posters are amazing in the hope of them being my friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magicTs Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Doesn't change the fact your going to thrash us tomorrow night though! Are you really as bad as the first 3 league matches suggest ? Would we know anybody playing for you ? I think everyone believes Hearts should and in all likelihood will win comfortably but is it likely to be half a dozen even if we go through the motions ? Given your defensive performances I'm assuming serious problems ! I'm just curious of what your actual prediction is because like a couple of others I think this is an opportunity to make some cash. The 5/6 on Hearts to score 4 or more appeals to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Creepy Lurker Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 At least I don't pretend certain posters are amazing in the hope of them being my friend Shaun is an intelligent guy and an interesting poster, but he doesn't understand humour. This leads to him ascribing God-like powers to those who do. (Just kidding, Shaun, I think you're great ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snake Plissken Posted August 23, 2010 Author Share Posted August 23, 2010 Are you really as bad as the first 3 league matches suggest ? Would we knoe anybody playing for you ? I think everyone believes Hearts should and in all likelihood will win comfortably but is it likely to be half a dozen even if we go through the motins ? Given your defensive performances I'm assuming serious problems ! I'm just curious of what your actual prediction is because like a couple of others I think this is an opportunity to make some cash. The 5/6 on Hearts to score 4 or more appeals to me. Paul Kaczan was a youth player who never made it here and Allan Dempsie used to play for Hibs, I think they have Barry Wilson too, he must be near 40 now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaun.lawson Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 At least I don't pretend certain posters are amazing in the hope of them being my friend Acey is no-one's friend. Acey stands aloof from the carnage on here, leaving lesser mortals to do his dirty work for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest John Meurig Thomas Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 I think you're a funny poster, Teenwolf, but Kickback will hunt you down if we get beat tomorrow. I hope you know this. Talk about jinxes.. P.S Less of the Hawking bashing, me and him go way back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Teenwolf is risking his entire Kickback reputation on Hearts beating a lower league side. Risky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genghis Khan Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Teenwolf is risking his entire Kickback reputation on Hearts beating a lower league side. Risky. Never mind his bloody reputation, it's this bit of the OP I'm really worried about.... Vlad could play up front tomorrow night on his own and bag a hat-trick, If Vlad reads this there could be carnage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elginfan Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Are you really as bad as the first 3 league matches suggest ? Would we know anybody playing for you ? I think everyone believes Hearts should and in all likelihood will win comfortably but is it likely to be half a dozen even if we go through the motions ? Given your defensive performances I'm assuming serious problems ! I'm just curious of what your actual prediction is because like a couple of others I think this is an opportunity to make some cash. The 5/6 on Hearts to score 4 or more appeals to me. No, in my opinion, we're not as bad as our first 3 results suggest. The first 2 defeats do look awfully bad on paper, but we had major defensive problems in both as we had key defender Mark Nicolson suspended, hadn't been able to secure the signing of centre back Jamie Duff yet and we were playing with our 39 year old goalkeeping coach in goals as a loan move for Aberdeen's 3rd choice keeper Scott Bain fell through at the last minute when Jamie Langfield injured himself. We've signed Duff and Bain now and Nicholson's suspension is over, so hopefully we are going to be a lot stronger at the back. We also lost on Saturday in a game we dominated, missing sitter after sitter and just couldn't buy a goal and lost 2 goals from set pieces at the end, so I think the league table doesn't really tell the real story for us. In the two cups we ran Ross County really close and managed to beat Ayr 3-2 AET, so a look at our cup form is much more impressive than our league form. We've got Barry Wilson and Jamie Duff, who've both played SPL football with Caley, but Barry is getting on a bit and I'd be suprised if he plays tomorrow having played on Saturday. Our captain Paul Kaczan was a youth player with Hearts, but was released without playing for the first team, but apart from that, I doubt we have anyone else you'd know. Our best player is Craig Gunn, who finished the 3rd divisions top scorer last season despite us finishing 9th! He's got absolutely lighting pace and tears defences apart at our level at times. If Hearts play a strong team and really go for it, it'll be a comfortable win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redm Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 I think you're a funny poster, Teenwolf, but Kickback will hunt you down if we get beat tomorrow. I hope you know this. Talk about jinxes.. P.S Less of the Hawking bashing, me and him go way back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snake Plissken Posted August 23, 2010 Author Share Posted August 23, 2010 Teenwolf is risking his entire Kickback reputation on Hearts beating a lower league side. Risky. There's no risk involved at all. This match will be even easier than Sunday morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snake Plissken Posted August 23, 2010 Author Share Posted August 23, 2010 I think you're a funny poster, Teenwolf, but Kickback will hunt you down if we get beat tomorrow. I hope you know this. Talk about jinxes.. P.S Less of the Hawking bashing, me and him go way back. Didn't mean no slight on your boy, homeslice, a man of almost unparalleled genius but I'm not convinced he's be much cop on the wing. Still enough to vanquish Elgin mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magicTs Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 No, in my opinion, we're not as bad as our first 3 results suggest. The first 2 defeats do look awfully bad on paper, but we had major defensive problems in both as we had key defender Mark Nicolson suspended, hadn't been able to secure the signing of centre back Jamie Duff yet and we were playing with our 39 year old goalkeeping coach in goals as a loan move for Aberdeen's 3rd choice keeper Scott Bain fell through at the last minute when Jamie Langfield injured himself. We've signed Duff and Bain now and Nicholson's suspension is over, so hopefully we are going to be a lot stronger at the back. We also lost on Saturday in a game we dominated, missing sitter after sitter and just couldn't buy a goal and lost 2 goals from set pieces at the end, so I think the league table doesn't really tell the real story for us. In the two cups we ran Ross County really close and managed to beat Ayr 3-2 AET, so a look at our cup form is much more impressive than our league form. We've got Barry Wilson and Jamie Duff, who've both played SPL football with Caley, but Barry is getting on a bit and I'd be suprised if he plays tomorrow having played on Saturday. Our captain Paul Kaczan was a youth player with Hearts, but was released without playing for the first team, but apart from that, I doubt we have anyone else you'd know. Our best player is Craig Gunn, who finished the 3rd divisions top scorer last season despite us finishing 9th! He's got absolutely lighting pace and tears defences apart at our level at times. If Hearts play a strong team and really go for it, it'll be a comfortable win. Interesting cheers for that, gives a bit of different picture to ponder. Its a real dilemna to be honest. My heart says this is one game Hearts really should win very easily, like minimum 4 or 5 but my head says we will never make it that easy on ourselves and will score only a couple aka the Hearts way in fixtures such as these ! Your last sentence is good advice though - wait for half 7 tomorrow and hear the line up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamboinglasgow Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Interesting cheers for that, gives a bit of different picture to ponder. Its a real dilemna to be honest. My heart says this is one game Hearts really should win very easily, like minimum 4 or 5 but my head says we will never make it that easy on ourselves and will score only a couple aka the Hearts way in fixtures such as these ! Your last sentence is good advice though - wait for half 7 tomorrow and hear the line up. Thats the thing, if players go out thinking this will be easy then we may have a problem. They should treat Elgin as if they were playing Hibs, Rangers or Celtic. If we do that then it might be a decent result. But we must fool ourselves into thinking it will be a walkover, as attitudes like that can come back to haunt you, only think of walkovers at the final whistle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Ian Malcolm Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Paul Kaczan was a youth player who never made it here and Allan Dempsie used to play for Hibs, I think they have Barry Wilson too, he must be near 40 now. One Mark de Vries' several bitches from the 5-1 game? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartsfc_fan Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 One Mark de Vries' several bitches from the 5-1 game? That'll be him http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allan_Dempsie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darren Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 Gutted this game isn't at Borough Briggs and will therefore miss witnessing the total humping we are guaranteed to give Elgin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malcmac Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 No, in my opinion, we're not as bad as our first 3 results suggest. The first 2 defeats do look awfully bad on paper, but we had major defensive problems in both as we had key defender Mark Nicolson suspended, hadn't been able to secure the signing of centre back Jamie Duff yet and we were playing with our 39 year old goalkeeping coach in goals as a loan move for Aberdeen's 3rd choice keeper Scott Bain fell through at the last minute when Jamie Langfield injured himself. We've signed Duff and Bain now and Nicholson's suspension is over, so hopefully we are going to be a lot stronger at the back. We also lost on Saturday in a game we dominated, missing sitter after sitter and just couldn't buy a goal and lost 2 goals from set pieces at the end, so I think the league table doesn't really tell the real story for us. In the two cups we ran Ross County really close and managed to beat Ayr 3-2 AET, so a look at our cup form is much more impressive than our league form. We've got Barry Wilson and Jamie Duff, who've both played SPL football with Caley, but Barry is getting on a bit and I'd be suprised if he plays tomorrow having played on Saturday. Our captain Paul Kaczan was a youth player with Hearts, but was released without playing for the first team, but apart from that, I doubt we have anyone else you'd know. Our best player is Craig Gunn, who finished the 3rd divisions top scorer last season despite us finishing 9th! He's got absolutely lighting pace and tears defences apart at our level at times. If Hearts play a strong team and really go for it, it'll be a comfortable win. Sorry mate, according to the ever reliable BBC, your new keeper isn't allowed to play! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linkin- hearts Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 No, in my opinion, we're not as bad as our first 3 results suggest. The first 2 defeats do look awfully bad on paper, but we had major defensive problems in both as we had key defender Mark Nicolson suspended, hadn't been able to secure the signing of centre back Jamie Duff yet and we were playing with our 39 year old goalkeeping coach in goals as a loan move for Aberdeen's 3rd choice keeper Scott Bain fell through at the last minute when Jamie Langfield injured himself. We've signed Duff and Bain now and Nicholson's suspension is over, so hopefully we are going to be a lot stronger at the back. We also lost on Saturday in a game we dominated, missing sitter after sitter and just couldn't buy a goal and lost 2 goals from set pieces at the end, so I think the league table doesn't really tell the real story for us. In the two cups we ran Ross County really close and managed to beat Ayr 3-2 AET, so a look at our cup form is much more impressive than our league form. We've got Barry Wilson and Jamie Duff, who've both played SPL football with Caley, but Barry is getting on a bit and I'd be suprised if he plays tomorrow having played on Saturday. Our captain Paul Kaczan was a youth player with Hearts, but was released without playing for the first team, but apart from that, I doubt we have anyone else you'd know. Our best player is Craig Gunn, who finished the 3rd divisions top scorer last season despite us finishing 9th! He's got absolutely lighting pace and tears defences apart at our level at times. If Hearts play a strong team and really go for it, it'll be a comfortable win. I'll settle for a win, my predictions have been well off lately:whistling: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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