Radio 5

[Tommy Wiseau]

Hmph. Spoil my delusions of grandeur now, why don't you... :santa1:

 

 

:santa4:

 

I hated Spoony when he first started presenting the show. Seemed to me he perfectly represented the dumbing down of the Beeb's football coverage: more interested in name checking celebrity mates than knowing anything about the game. But I quite like him now: his double act with Marcotti works very well, and is miles better than that arrogant gob****e Alan Green's show.

 

"Aqualarni"? Hehehe! That's hilariously accurate too. And it makes a change for me to force someone else to use Wiki: normally that's what everyone accuses me of doing. Which is most insulting, I must say.

 

I don't know what kind of a weasel would accuse you of such a thing, Shaun...

 

I think Spoony's a great guy myself; always comes across really well on 606. You're absolutely right though - he wasn't always like that. I quite like that he's not got the in depth knowledge of a lot of the other presenters, he just plays it as an enthusiastic fan.

[Tommy Wiseau]

Green used to be excellent. He was so honest in a way the TV commentators rarely were - but at some point, turned into this hideous caricature of himself. He thinks he's more important than the game, never stops moaning about bloody everything, his bias towards Liverpool is embarrassing, and he's absolutely loathed within the BBC. He had this ridiculous falling out with Mark Saggers over absolutely nothing, was very obviously in the wrong, but rather than kiss and make up, turned it into "either he goes, or I do". Pathetically, the idiots at the Beeb chose Saggers to be the fall guy.

 

During the Israel-England Euro qualifier a couple of years back, some Israeli journalists stood up in front of him. Green started yelling at them on air to sit down: you had to be there to know what I mean, but I couldn't believe the self-importance of it. He's starting to rival David Mellor in my contempt, and I hope someone else does to him what a 606 caller once did to the Chelsea toe sucker. A Forest fan called up, waffled on for about a minute about his team, then stopped and said:

 

"And by the way - you're a ****!"

 

I almost died laughing.

 

Green's an arsehole.

 

'Favourite' Green moment was definitely when Sun Jihai was playing for Man City and he was making a massive deal out of the whole Chinese given name/family name order. Eventually, he got so annoyed with the idea that he might prefer to be called Jihai Sun by a commentator rather than Sun Jihai, he lost it in legendary fashio:

 

 

"Well there he is now, Sun, Jihai, whatever his name is - number 32, chicken chow mein..."

 

The gasps around the commentary box were audible.

[shaun.lawson]

:santa4:

 

 

 

I don't know what kind of a weasel would accuse you of such a thing, Shaun...

 

I think Spoony's a great guy myself; always comes across really well on 606. You're absolutely right though - he wasn't always like that. I quite like that he's not got the in depth knowledge of a lot of the other presenters, he just plays it as an enthusiastic fan.

 

Thommo mate: it wasn't just that post (which made me laugh anyway). Everyone accuses me of it! Then they meet me, and they're like "oh God: he really is that much of an statto", before backing away carefully for fear of being submerged in a torrent of useless trivia. In sum: the worst insult you can ever give a nerd like me is accuse me of just knowing how to use Google or Wiki: "And I went through being bullied at school and having no mates, just so people could say that? Boo hoo!" :santa1:

 

Spoony's good because he knows his limitations. Would that a few other presenters had his self-awareness really.

[shaun.lawson]

Green's an arsehole.

 

'Favourite' Green moment was definitely when Sun Jihai was playing for Man City and he was making a massive deal out of the whole Chinese given name/family name order. Eventually, he got so annoyed with the idea that he might prefer to be called Jihai Sun by a commentator rather than Sun Jihai, he lost it in legendary fashio:

 

 

"Well there he is now, Sun, Jihai, whatever his name is - number 32, chicken chow mein..."

 

The gasps around the commentary box were audible.

 

Jesus. Ron Atkinson, eat your heart out. That's just unbelievable: how can this ****** still be in a job?!

[Tommy Wiseau]

Incidentally, best bypassing of the swear filter. EVER. I'm sure we've all noticed.

[davemclaren]

Thommo mate: it wasn't just that post (which made me laugh anyway). Everyone accuses me of it! Then they meet me, and they're like "oh God: he really is that much of an statto", before backing away carefully for fear of being submerged in a torrent of useless trivia. In sum: the worst insult you can ever give a nerd like me is accuse me of just knowing how to use Google or Wiki: "And I went through being bullied at school and having no mates, just so people could say that? Boo hoo!" :santa1:

 

Spoony's good because he knows his limitations. Would that a few other presenters had his self-awareness really.

 

Shaun, you're an even bigger radio tart than Ewen!

:santa1:

 

Have a good Xmas.

[shaun.lawson]

Incidentally, best bypassing of the swear filter. EVER. I'm sure we've all noticed.

 

 

Top work that man! :santa4:

[shaun.lawson]

Shaun, you're an even bigger radio tart than Ewen!

:santa1:

 

Have a good Xmas.

 

Haha! Same to you Dave! :santa1:

[P-Dizzle]

Incidentally, best bypassing of the swear filter. EVER. I'm sure we've all noticed.

 

 

I had to go back and look for it. Never in my life did I think that would get through. :santa1:

[Tommy Wiseau]

Jesus. Ron Atkinson, eat your heart out. That's just unbelievable: how can this ****** still be in a job?!

 

 

A quick check of your favourite and mine, Wiki, reveals that the number was 17, which was his shirt number, and the exact wording was:

 

"Number 17, that'll be the chicken chow mein."

 

If he'd said that on Sky Sports, or anywhere on TV, he'd have never worked another day in his life.

[this_is_my_story]

Shaun, I hope you don't mind, but I couldn't resist cutting & splicing some of your words from the broadcast and uploading it in the form of a wee video to DailyMotion.com.

 

It's all in good spirit, and with your kind permission, I'd like to post it in this thread. I do hope you'll give me the go-ahead. :santa1:

[Guest King]

I don't phone foorball radio programmes anymore, since gettin banned from Real Radio!

 

What did you get banned for DecentOldMan5. Are you one of those people who would phone up and try and fit in as many swear words as possible before being cut off?

 

Seriously though what did you do? I hope your ban was worth it :santa4:

[shaun.lawson]

Shaun, I hope you don't mind, but I couldn't resist cutting & splicing some of your words from the broadcast and uploading it in the form of a wee video to DailyMotion.com.

 

It's all in good spirit, and with your kind permission, I'd like to post it in this thread. I do hope you'll give me the go-ahead. :santa1:

 

Uh oh. This is going to be Kearney technical glitch in Glasgow-tastic - but it's Christmas, so why not? Bring it on mate!

[this_is_my_story]

Uh oh. This is going to be Kearney technical glitch in Glasgow-tastic - but it's Christmas, so why not? Bring it on mate!

 

 

I think it's of a slightly higher calibre than Kearney's efforts... Anyway, I'll let you decide!

 

[P-Dizzle]

 

I think it's of a slightly higher calibre than Kearney's efforts... Anyway, I'll let you decide!

 

 

 

The last two were the best. It wasn't clear what the first ones said though.

[shaun.lawson]

 

I think it's of a slightly higher calibre than Kearney's efforts... Anyway, I'll let you decide!

 

 

 

Not bad; not bad at all. Though given your apparent obsession with getting the word "butt" included: maybe there's something you'd like to tell us?

 

http://www.hmfckickback.co.uk/showthread.php?t=68174

 

Trying to throw us off the, um, scent imo.

[this_is_my_story]

 

The last two were the best. It wasn't clear what the first ones said though.

 

 

Just for clarification, the first alteration was to have Shaun saying "And I think you nailed Bolt's butt."

 

After the remark about Bolt's "lack of wood", Shaun is then heard to say of Bolt that "The impact that his cum has had is astounding." That bit was tricky, and wasn't so easy to get it to sound so clear.

 

Try keeping all of that in mind and give it another go!

 

 

Not bad; not bad at all. Though given your apparent obsession with getting the word "butt" included: maybe there's something you'd like to tell us?

 

http://www.hmfckickback.co.uk/showthread.php?t=68174

 

Trying to throw us off the, um, scent imo.

 

Shaun, I'm saying nothing. :santa1:

[shaun.lawson]

 

Just for clarification, the first alteration was to have Shaun saying "And I think you nailed Bolt's butt."

 

After the remark about Bolt's "lack of wood", Shaun is then heard to say of Bolt that "The impact that his cum has had is astounding." That bit was tricky, and wasn't so easy to get it to sound so clear.

 

Try keeping all of that in mind and give it another go!

 

 

 

Shaun, I'm saying nothing. :santa1:

 

 

Now I'm laughing a lot! You're right: your clarification above makes all the difference actually. "The impact that his cum has had is astounding". Top stuff!

[Acey]

Shaun, were you on 606 a week or so ago. Talking about Uruguay's defensive and slow play-style? I found myself thinking, this has lawson written all over it

 

Who else in the northern hemisphere has such a raging erection for Uruguay?!

 

On Alan Green: I'll always have a soft spot for him, given that he did the commentary for Olympic Soccer on the Playstation.

[P-Dizzle]

Who else in the northern hemisphere has such a raging erection for Uruguay?!

 

On Alan Green: I'll always have a soft spot for him, given that he did the commentary for Olympic Soccer on the Playstation.

 

Haha, true. If I thought about it, it could only be him.

[Tommy Wiseau]

Who else in the northern hemisphere has such a raging erection for Uruguay?!

 

On Alan Green: I'll always have a soft spot for him, given that he did the commentary for Olympic Soccer on the Playstation.

 

 

He does have his moments, despite being an utter walloper. After a particularly unenthralling display by Reading's Seol Ki-Hyeon, in which he'd feigned injury and generally done bugger all in terms of work before being subbed, Green rubbed salt in the wound as he walked off the pitch;

 

"Well, he's called Seol, but he's not a soldier!"

 

[stirlo]

Green used to be excellent. He was so honest in a way the TV commentators rarely were - but at some point, turned into this hideous caricature of himself. He thinks he's more important than the game, never stops moaning about bloody everything, his bias towards Liverpool is embarrassing, and he's absolutely loathed within the BBC. He had this ridiculous falling out with Mark Saggers over absolutely nothing, was very obviously in the wrong, but rather than kiss and make up, turned it into "either he goes, or I do". Pathetically, the idiots at the Beeb chose Saggers to be the fall guy.

 

During the Israel-England Euro qualifier a couple of years back, some Israeli journalists stood up in front of him. Green started yelling at them on air to sit down: you had to be there to know what I mean, but I couldn't believe the self-importance of it. He's starting to rival David Mellor in my contempt, and I hope someone else does to him what a 606 caller once did to the Chelsea toe sucker. A Forest fan called up, waffled on for about a minute about his team, then stopped and said:

 

"And by the way - you're a ****!"

 

I almost died laughing.

 

I agree that Green's Liverpool bias is ridiculous. I also get the impression he holds the Scottish national team - but more surprisingly perhaps, the Northern Irish national team - in utter contempt.

 

I hadn't realised he had a fall out with Saggers. I wondered why Saggers had gone to Talk Sport. What was the fall out about?

 

I used to listen to 5 live a lot but have really gone off it in recent years. Stephen Nolan on weekend nights is good but that show apart, I'm more of a Talk Sport fan now.

[shaun.lawson]

I agree that Green's Liverpool bias is ridiculous. I also get the impression he holds the Scottish national team - but more surprisingly perhaps, the Northern Irish national team - in utter contempt.

 

I hadn't realised he had a fall out with Saggers. I wondered why Saggers had gone to Talk Sport. What was the fall out about?

 

I used to listen to 5 live a lot but have really gone off it in recent years. Stephen Nolan on weekend nights is good but that show apart, I'm more of a Talk Sport fan now.

 

That's interesting. I know he refers to England as 'we', but beyond that, what gives you that idea?

 

On Green v Saggers: some years back, Saggers asked Green for the team news at the game he was covering. Green hadn't got it yet, a mild on-air spat ensued, and Green, arsehole that he is, never forgot it. It all came to a head in Moscow after the 2008 CL final, the contemptible Green furious that Saggers didn't leave Alex Ferguson's post-match press conference in order to escort him to Five Live's transport. Why? Because Green had to wander through a crowd of Man Utd fans to get there; and of course, United fans quite naturally hate him.

 

Even though there was no trouble, Green unbelievably refused after this even to travel on the same plane as Saggers to games abroad; and the BBC saw him as indispensable, so wouldn't renew Saggers' contract. It was an utter disgrace.

[this_is_my_story]

Cheers Shaun, i've listened more in depth to the whole debate now and his recent troubles certainly in the eyes of Sue Mott count against him.

 

Basing her argument on "i'm a girl"

 

Cheers for your input Sue!

 

Bolt's achievements are far more jaw dropping and i have no issue with him winning at all but i'd put Woods above Federer all day long.

 

one of the arguments for Federer was his aura of invincibility. His many big match losses vs Nadal throw that out for me.

 

Yang's overturning of Woods in the PGA was his first ever loss while leading a major into the final round.

 

As big a fan of Fed's as I am (although I have to concede a couple of points that Shaun made on the phone-in about him), I'd have to agree with that. What should be taken into account with golf is the size of the field against which Woods, or any other golfer, is competing. Woods' achievments in golf are nothing short of phenomenal.

 

The fact that his recent antics appear - in the eyes of some - to have soiled Woods' reputation somewhat, says more about celebrity culture and the media's apparent liking for a witch-hunt than it does about Woods himself.

 

When he does return to the fold, I hope Tiger's as strong as ever.

 

 

Now I'm laughing a lot! You're right: your clarification above makes all the difference actually. "The impact that his cum has had is astounding". Top stuff!

 

Glad that enhanced your enjoyment, Shaun!

 

Edit: Oh, and by the way, regarding the recent discussion of Alan Green on this thread - he's a complete and utter chugstain.

[shaun.lawson]

Who else in the northern hemisphere has such a raging erection for Uruguay?!

 

 

This is Diego Forlan's BURD. I've got a raging erection for her, and no mistake guv:

 

[P-Dizzle]

This is Diego Forlan's BURD. I've got a raging erection for her, and no mistake guv:

 

 

 

Just, wow.

[Hungry hippo]

 

I think it's of a slightly higher calibre than Kearney's efforts... Anyway, I'll let you decide!

 

 

 

Just for clarification, the first alteration was to have Shaun saying "And I think you nailed Bolt's butt."

 

After the remark about Bolt's "lack of wood", Shaun is then heard to say of Bolt that "The impact that his cum has had is astounding." That bit was tricky, and wasn't so easy to get it to sound so clear.

 

Try keeping all of that in mind and give it another go!

 

Shaun, I'm saying nothing. :santa1:

 

First couple of times I listened to the remix I thought it was a genuine 'racist post IMO'. Glad you clarified above that you hadn't edited it to say "the impact that his kind has had has been astounding."

 

PS I'm a massive tennis and Federer fan but I believe Woods stands out from his peers far more than Federer and deserves to be ranked ahead of him.

[this_is_my_story]

First couple of times I listened to the remix I thought it was a genuine 'racist post IMO'. Glad you clarified above that you hadn't edited it to say "the impact that his kind has had has been astounding."

 

PS I'm a massive tennis and Federer fan but I believe Woods stands out from his peers far more than Federer and deserves to be ranked ahead of him.

 

Oh dear.

 

What if (if I did intend the clip to say 'his kind') I had meant athletic? Or fast? Or strong? Or statuesque?

 

F%*k all 'racist post' about it, had that been the case.

 

Get off yer high horse!

 

At least you agree about Tiger, though. Maybe you're not so bad. ;-)

[Hungry hippo]

Oh dear.

 

What if (if I did intend the clip to say 'his kind') I had meant athletic? Or fast? Or strong? Or statuesque?

 

F%*k all 'racist post' about it, had that been the case.

 

Get off yer high horse!

 

At least you agree about Tiger, though. Maybe you're not so bad. ;-)

 

Not even close to being on my high horse. It was just meant to be a light hearted comment about what I thought it said at first and at no time did I think it was racist.

[The Old Tolbooth]

Camper than Dale Winton dancing on a giant doily

 

 

I had this image in my head during that call, and now when I talk to Shaun I really hope it's not lasting!!

 

 

You really don't wanna know what I googled to find that pic, and I sincerely hope I never ever have to do it again! :santa1:

[this_is_my_story]

Not even close to being on my high horse. It was just meant to be a light hearted comment about what I thought it said at first and at no time did I think it was racist.

 

Apologies, HH.

 

An over reaction on my part.

[Hungry hippo]

Apologies, HH.

 

An over reaction on my part.

 

No problem.

 

Re-reading my post now and I can see how the tone could have been misinterpreted.

[this_is_my_story]

No problem.

 

Re-reading my post now and I can see how the tone could have been misinterpreted.

 

See, that's the thing about internet fora/text messages etc...

 

You cannae ever see someone's face when they type what they do! As such, the meaning/context can often be misinterpreted...

 

Anyways, I must stop typing such pish. Merry Xmas.

[I P Knightley]

Incidentally, best bypassing of the swear filter. EVER. I'm sure we've all noticed.

 

Errrmm, not all. Care to point me in the right direction?

[2NaFish]

Errrmm, not all. Care to point me in the right direction?

 

dont be such an arsehole. its ****ing obvious.

[I P Knightley]

dont be such an arsehole. its ****ing obvious.

 

If that's a clue, it's way too cryptic for me at this time of night.

[Boof]

I was wondering as well...maybe arse gets asterisked?

 

Edit...nope. Any more clues?

[shaun.lawson]

Errrmm, not all. Care to point me in the right direction?

 

If that's a clue, it's way too cryptic for me at this time of night.

 

I was wondering as well...maybe arse gets asterisked?

 

Edit...nope. Any more clues?

 

LPjambo91 wrote (abusive term for vagina) followed by job, and it got through - but has been asterisked out now. Booooo! :santa5:

[Tommy Wiseau]

Or has it??

[southside1874]

This is why the best phone-in on Five Live is their world football one at 2am on a Saturday morning. It's magnificent: the experts they have on each week speak in tremendous depth, and because it's the middle of the night, callers have way more chance to ask follow-ups and genuinely debate and discuss things. I'd never heard a phone-in which discussed the merits of zonal marking v man-to-man before; but they did on the show the other week. I highly recommend it (and agree completely with your views on the topic as expressed on another thread, incidentally). :santa1:

 

Radio 5 is cracking. Great discussions and debate compared to the local pash we have on Ewan and Roughie and the "why does my bigotted views upset so many folk phone in".

[Era Macaroons]

Leith FM make an effort.

 

prob wrong thing to say but they do.

[P-Dizzle]

Some mod must have came along and edited it. :santa5:

[scott_jambo]

Some mod must have came along and edited it. :santa5:

 

 

 

it still works, will have to wait for some infractions to expire before I can use it on a few people.

[P-Dizzle]

it still works, will have to wait for some infractions to expire before I can use it on a few people.

 

It did. :santa1:

 

Merry Christmas.

 

Also, this is my gift to the KB faithful. Use it wisely.

[Superman]

Who else in the northern hemisphere has such a raging erection for Uruguay?!

 

On Alan Green: I'll always have a soft spot for him, given that he did the commentary for Olympic Soccer on the Playstation.

 

"Whack, Cornelius, wonder GOAL!!", loved that game! The amount of aftertouch you could put on the ball was brilliant.

[Tommy Wiseau]

Some mod must have came along and edited it. :santa5:

 

 

Sure about that?

[Acey]

"Whack, Cornelius, wonder GOAL!!", loved that game! The amount of aftertouch you could put on the ball was brilliant.

 

 

"BOGGIO!!!"

[I P Knightley]

Sure about that?

 

Still proudly there where Shaun quoted the original.

[P-Dizzle]

 

Lovely.

[shaun.lawson]

Or has it??

 

Sure about that?

 

Still proudly there where Shaun quoted the original.

 

 

Lovely.

 

Hahaha! Excellent! Meanwhile, eye tests are urgently required by yours truly.