ArmiyaRomanova Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 NHC, and apologies if old, but just got sent this by a sheep friend of mine.... Aberdeen Football Club today lost out in the chase to sign ex-Cardiff City goalkeeper, Michael Oakes. Oakes, 35, has been without a club since he was released by the Welsh club at the end of the 2008 season. Although there were no other clubs interested in signing the veteran goalkeeper, it’s believed that Oakes was eligible for government assistance, and decided to remain unemployed rather than sign for the Dons. Aberdeen manager, Mark McGhee, remained philosophical, despite losing out on his third target in as many weeks. “Obviously it was disappointing to lose out on Oakes,” said McGhee, “But it’s hard for a club like Aberdeen to compete with the sort of wages that the dole offers. Personally I think it’s crazy money, and we offered Oakes what I think was a very competitive package. Unfortunately the lure of the English pound, and a steady diet of rejected supermarket produce is something we can’t realistically compete with.” The failure to sign Oakes comes hard on the heels of two other failures in the transfer market for Aberdeen. Previously the Dons had failed to sign ex-Crew Alexander player Ryan Lynch, who found work as the guy who collects the baskets at Asda shortly after Aberdeen offered him a contract. This was followed by the failure to sign experienced striker Michael Branch. The Dons were believed to be on the verge of signing the ex Halifax forward until he gassed himself in his own garage in the early hours of Wednesday morning. The day he was to be unveiled in front of the Evening Express photographer at Pittodrie. “Obviously it’s difficult for us to compete with the opportunity to kill yourself rather than sign for Aberdeen Football Club.” Said McGhee. “But we still have options. Still have irons in the fire. The money’s there to strengthen the team, assuming by ‘strengthen’ we actually mean ‘not strengthen’.” The Dons boss hinted that he was not finished in the transfer market this year, saying, “There’s a couple of lads we’ve been running the rule over for the last 6 years, and we’re probably about ready to make a move for them.. One of them is a Scottish international, so we may have problems putting together a financial package that he finds attractive.” According to some sources the international in question is Denis Law, a prolific striker who has been without a club since retiring from the game in 1974. It is believed that Aberdeen face stiff competition for the veteran forward’s signature. Law, 97, is understood to also be considering smashing his own puss in with a toffee hammer. “Obviously it’s difficult for a club like Aberdeen to compete with the prospect of smashing your own puss in with a toffee hammer,” explained the Dons boss. “Particularly now we’ve lost the TV money and the revenue from fiddling Jamie Smith’s health insurance.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gershwin Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Not again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedbump Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 How many times? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmiyaRomanova Posted August 17, 2009 Author Share Posted August 17, 2009 OK, Mods, please delete the thread... did a quick check back and couldn't find it anywhere... EPIC FAIL on my part, no need for further reminders....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Chat Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Dobber Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoJack Horseman Posted August 17, 2009 Share Posted August 17, 2009 Your sheep friend isn't from Peebles is he? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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