Whos the biggest idiot you have ever met?

[Ulysses]

I'd have walked over to her desk and nutted her mate.

 

Why? What harm was her mate doing?

 

 

[irontart]

What a tool she must have sounded - that Was Uncle Albert

 

 

 

ffs i can't stop laughing!!!!

[Guest juvehearts]

Some of the biggest fuds I have ever met are people that work in large offices who have been there since they were 16 and think they are the dugs baws, when really they have been doing the same job for the past 20 years and the most exciting thing in their life is 'dress down Friday'

 

This is a rant that I wrote when I was temping in a large office in Edinburgh:

 

Remember when you were at school and you absolutely dreaded working in a mainly grey office full of grey people with a grey outlook on life (maybe that is what you dreamt of at school...) well I have ended up doing exactly what I dreaded for all those years. Every minute of it is like catching ones doodle in ones fly. I am not looking to insult anyone here, but if I do, I am sorry. I have ended up in this position through necessity after leaving my lovely job at The Skinny for personal financial reasons ( I am heading to Oz in July and need to take some serious mulla) I decided to join up with an agency that could offer me some well paid work. One week later and I am sent to work in the pensions department of a ****ing huge company with a ****ing huge office. Thus began the slow degeneration of my brain. On my first day I was told off by a perma tanned gym jockey for sending a text message whilst at my 'work station' and then 30 minutes later for saying the word '****' under my breath as I realised that I had made a mistake with some poor *******s pension. Maybe it is the fact that since I left uni I have worked in pretty laid back environments, but the feeling of being watched all the time really gets to me. And what is with the ****ing massive obesity count in these places? I am fattist and not afraid to admit that, not in a horrible way but when I see people that are verging on gargantuan sitting at their desk stuffing their faces with mars bars washed down by diet Coke (see the irony?) it really winds me up. It really took the biscuit on the third day when I was asked if I had used email before and if not I could go on a training course. Are you ****ing kidding me?!? After much mumping and moaning in my first couple of days, I decided that I would have to just knuckle down and get on with it, after all this is a means to an end before I head of into the sunset and travel. This attitude died on its arse as things got worse, one afternoon new coffee vending machines were delivered, this was like the re-birth of Christ to the cogs of the pension department, it was met with such joy that I thought the bosses above had given everyone a massive bonus. But no it was merely the fact that these new machines not only offered coffee and tea, but sparkling water!!! Holy **** is life really that dull? Sparkling water, as in water with gas in? No ****ing way. And guess what everybody? It is free!!! Every day somebody will ask we why I look so miserable, I explain that I am only there as a means to an end and that I am heading of to Australia etc, each and every person responds with 'what's wrong with Scotland*, why would you want to go so far away?' Now at this point my brain wants me to burst in to a tirade 'to get away from you and the smell of gravy emanating from every friggin pour of your suit wrapped body you fat ****' but instead I just sigh and go back to processing peoples pensions. Now these companies give a lot of hard working people very good careers and that must not be overlooked, but I cannot help but feel that George Orwell is turning in his grave at the way that people can be treated in these super secure offices. I am literally a number (TE89271), I am told when I can eat, and was asked on Friday why I was so long in the toilet as I had been away for seven minutes. Exactly how I am supposed to respond to such a query? Well I'm sorry Mr Manager, but I was passing stools of a massive proportion and do apologise that this took me seven minutes. I don't think so. There are some sick *******s who stuff the toilets with hand towels until the are completely blocked and some poor maintenance man has to go and unblock them. Why, why, why? You are not allowed to use your mobile in any other area of the building other than the canteen. Now I could write a whole separate rant with regards to the canteen but I won't bore you. So I cannot communicate with anybody outside of this power sucking building unless I go and stand in the canteen and conduct conversations whilst every little office weasel listening? Surely they could get computers and robots to do all of this... I must say I don't know where I am heading with this rant against the corporate world and I think I will draw it to a close now.

 

Pretty much sums it up for me!

 

 

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about working in a office