japanjambo Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes). Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read ... This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters. Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking ****ered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fatty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go. Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity. At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. 'Mist all chucking frighty!!!' said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper. The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. 'Who's fust jarted??' asked the prandsome hince. 'Blame that fugly ucker over there!!' said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk. Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly. Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Ross Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Seen that before, always wanted to see the footage. Brilliant stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coppercrutch Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Barker is a comedy genius. FACT. PS - Is the above on film ? I googled and couldn't find. A few forums having debates abouy whether Barker ever actually did this or not ?!! Confused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Caine Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Barker is a comedy genius. FACT. PS - Is the above on film ? I googled and couldn't find. A few forums having debates abouy whether Barker ever actually did this or not ?!! Confused. I have never seen this and I would be astounded if the BBC (or any tele company) would have allowed it. Very funny though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coppercrutch Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 I have never seen this and I would be astounded if the BBC (or any tele company) would have allowed it. Very funny though. Aye that is what a few forums I googled said. I have seen clips with him doing similar stuff though. Not quite as close to the bone though !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Seen that before, always wanted to see the footage. Brilliant stuff. You wouldn't find this on film since it wasn't a real Ronnie Barker sketch but a spoof that's been created 'in the style of' Ronnie Barker. Much the same as the list of "Tommy Cooper" one-liners that includes references to events after Cooper's death. While Ronnie Barker was the master of this type of stuff, his scripts were always on the clean side of offensive so you'd never have heard 'nucking f4ckered' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 This one demonstrates Barker's genius for me. http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=y0C59pI_ypQ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coppercrutch Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 This one demonstrates Barker's genius for me.http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=y0C59pI_ypQ Brilliant. You can't downplay the role Corbett played as well. Comedy genius. Amazingly simple yet amazingly funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The White Cockade Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 urban myth i'm afraid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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