Stunning levels of delusion and gibberish from the Aberdeen Evening Express

[shaun.lawson]

And Charlie Allan, to be specific:

 

IT was great to see 50,000 Scots turn out to cheer our Olympic heroes during their open top bus parade through the streets of Edinburgh. The way things are going it?s likely to be the only time that bus will be out of the garage for a while. In case you missed it, I would like to point out both Hearts and Hibs were knocked out of the CIS League Cup in midweek. Isn?t it strange how little fuss was made, despite the Edinburgh duo both being beaten at home by lower league opposition?

 

If the Dons had gone down at Ayr you can be sure a lot more would have been made of it. That?s because, no matter what Hibs or Hearts fans may think, Aberdeen are still seen as the third force in Scottish football by everyone outwith Auld Reekie.

 

The press area at Somerset Park was packed in midweek as the vultures circled to feed on what they hoped would be another cup shock for the Dons.

One of the press pack even left without bothering to attend the after-match conference because he said a Dons win meant there was nothing in it for him!

Mighty Aberdeen losing to a lower league side is big news, as we witnessed when they went down to Queen?s Park and Queen of the South.

 

Stories about Aberdeen?s shame filled the headlines for days and rightly so.

They are a massive club, so shouldn?t be losing to the likes of those two. It?s no big deal when it happens to Hibs or Hearts though. They are like all of the other wee clubs ? they have good spells now and then. I?ve been told Hibs were really good in the 1950s, before I was born, but they have done little since.

 

Owner Vladimir Romanov?s antics gave Hearts a lift for a spell, but they are starting to slip back too. Sadly, it?s now unlikely either will ever reach the level where they can lay claim to being placed in the same bracket as the Dons and Old Firm. They won?t have any European trophies on their honours list for a start.

 

And don?t forget that the big three are the only ones to have never suffered the indignity of relegation from the top flight. That fact alone puts more pressure on Aberdeen in every game they play. Unlike Hibs and Hearts, they are still seen as a big scalp to claim.

[Commander Harris]

just reposting as it was too hard to read:

 

IT was great to see 50,000 Scots turn out to cheer our Olympic heroes during their open top bus parade through the streets of Edinburgh. The way things are going it’s likely to be the only time that bus will be out of the garage for a while. In case you missed it, I would like to point out both Hearts and Hibs were knocked out of the CIS League Cup in midweek. Isn’t it strange how little fuss was made, despite the Edinburgh duo both being beaten at home by lower league opposition?

 

If the Dons had gone down at Ayr you can be sure a lot more would have been made of it. That’s because, no matter what Hibs or Hearts fans may think, Aberdeen are still seen as the third force in Scottish football by everyone outwith Auld Reekie.

 

The press area at Somerset Park was packed in midweek as the vultures circled to feed on what they hoped would be another cup shock for the Dons.

One of the press pack even left without bothering to attend the after-match conference because he said a Dons win meant there was nothing in it for him!

Mighty Aberdeen losing to a lower league side is big news, as we witnessed when they went down to Queen’s Park and Queen of the South.

 

Stories about Aberdeen’s shame filled the headlines for days and rightly so.

They are a massive club, so shouldn’t be losing to the likes of those two. It’s no big deal when it happens to Hibs or Hearts though. They are like all of the other wee clubs – they have good spells now and then. I’ve been told Hibs were really good in the 1950s, before I was born, but they have done little since.

 

Owner Vladimir Romanov’s antics gave Hearts a lift for a spell, but they are starting to slip back too. Sadly, it’s now unlikely either will ever reach the level where they can lay claim to being placed in the same bracket as the Dons and Old Firm. They won’t have any European trophies on their honours list for a start.

 

And don’t forget that the big three are the only ones to have never suffered the indignity of relegation from the top flight. That fact alone puts more pressure on Aberdeen in every game they play. Unlike Hibs and Hearts, they are still seen as a big scalp to claim.

[Pants Shaton]

And Charlie Allan, to be specific:

 

Is that a reader's letter, penned in green ink, or something purporting to be serious journalism?

[Commander Harris]

ma ha!

 

Just read it. hilarious.

[Chris Evans]

And Charlie Allan, to be specific:

 

Copied and pasted from hobo.net. Had a read earlier. Local news. Im sure farmers weekly have local opinion as well.

[shaun.lawson]

Is that a reader's letter, penned in green ink, or something purporting to be serious journalism?

 

He's the chief football writer on the paper.

[jamboboetjie]

The only reason they (Aberdeen) were not relegated was because no teams went down the year they were bottom,Charle dodo

[joe.gausden]

What a feckin @rsehole. Does this clown still think Fergie is in charge.

[leginten]

Aberdeen Man Drowns At Sea.

 

Giant Neep Found In Turriff.

[Pants Shaton]

In 2008 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2007 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2006 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2005 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2004 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2003 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2002 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2001 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2000 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1999 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1998 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1997 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1996 Aberdeen won a diddy cup.

In 1995 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1994 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1993 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1992 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1991 Aberdeen won nothing.

[Grumpy]

Scottish Premier League

 

Scottish Premier League 1999-00

 

P Team Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts Qualification or relegation

1 Rangers 36 28 6 2 96 26 70 90 UEFA Champions League 2000-01 Second qualifying round

2 Celtic 36 21 6 9 90 38 52 69 UEFA Cup 2000-01 Qualifying round

3 Hearts 36 15 9 12 47 40 7 54 UEFA Cup 2000-01 Qualifying round

4 Motherwell 36 14 10 12 49 63 -14 52

5 St. Johnstone 36 10 12 14 36 44 -8 42

6 Hibernian 36 10 11 15 49 61 -12 41

7 Dundee 36 12 5 19 45 64 -19 41

8 Dundee United 36 11 6 19 34 57 -23 39

9 Kilmarnock 36 8 13 15 38 52 -14 37

10 Aberdeen 36 9 6 21 44 83 -39 33

 

They should have been relegated that year - 1 decade wonders

[Chris Evans]

In 2008 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2007 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2006 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2005 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2004 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2003 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2002 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2001 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2000 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1999 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1998 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1997 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1996 Aberdeen won a diddy cup.

In 1995 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1994 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1993 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1992 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1991 Aberdeen won nothing.

 

Case closed mate:)

 

No more words required.

[Zico]

The press area at Somerset Park was packed in midweek as the vultures circled to feed on what they hoped would be another cup shock for the Dons.

 

Does the highlighted word not suggest a slight contradiction in that article?

[shaun.lawson]

Scottish Premier League

 

Scottish Premier League 1999-00

 

P Team Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts Qualification or relegation

1 Rangers 36 28 6 2 96 26 70 90 UEFA Champions League 2000-01 Second qualifying round

2 Celtic 36 21 6 9 90 38 52 69 UEFA Cup 2000-01 Qualifying round

3 Hearts 36 15 9 12 47 40 7 54 UEFA Cup 2000-01 Qualifying round

4 Motherwell 36 14 10 12 49 63 -14 52

5 St. Johnstone 36 10 12 14 36 44 -8 42

6 Hibernian 36 10 11 15 49 61 -12 41

7 Dundee 36 12 5 19 45 64 -19 41

8 Dundee United 36 11 6 19 34 57 -23 39

9 Kilmarnock 36 8 13 15 38 52 -14 37

10 Aberdeen 36 9 6 21 44 83 -39 33

 

They should have been relegated that year - 1 decade wonders

 

Aberdeen's first quarter of that season:

 

1 01.08.1999 Celtic (h) L0-5

2 07.08.1999 Kilmarnock (a) L0-2

3 14.08.1999 Dundee (h) L0-2

4 22.08.1999 Hearts (a) L0-3

5 29.08.1999 St Johnstone (h) L0-3

6 11.09.1999 Rangers (a) L0-3

7 18.09.1999 Dundee United (h) L1-2

8 02.10.1999 Hibernian (h) D2-2

9 16.10.1999 Celtic (a) L0-7

 

Aberdeen's other results v Celtic (that's John Barnes' Celtic, their worst side in living memory) that season:

 

17 11.12.1999 Celtic (h) L0-6

34 06.05.2000 Celtic (a) L1-5

 

This is also a club who, over the last ten or fifteen years, have been knocked out of Europe by Skonto Riga and Bohemians, and scraped through by the skin of their teeth against Zhalgiris Vilnius, Barry Town and Nistru Otaci. Oh, and in domestic competition, they have failed to win the proper Cup since 1990, and their role of dishonour includes the following:

 

Stenhousemuir

Livingston (then in Div 2, and on four further occasions over the next 5 years, including a 6-1 home defeat in the 2001/2 League Cup)

Queen's Park

Queen of the South

 

If you ask me, the rest of us should just give up and allow this 'massive club' the glory it clearly warrants.

[Benny Factor]

Does the highlighted word not suggest a slight contradiction in that article?

 

Exactly what i thought too.

 

According to Charlie Allan, "Aberdeen are still seen as the third force in Scottish football by everyone outwith Auld Reekie"...... yet the press vultures "circled to feed on what they hoped would be another cup shock for the Dons".

 

Not the sharpest tool in the box, is he?

[winston churchill]

And Charlie Allan, to be specific:

 

 

fat charlies x aberdeen casuals sons book, is a better read than any the gash he writes

[The Mighty Thor]

He's certainly writing for his target audience of in-bred sheep molesters.

 

The 80's were a long long time ago.

[Midfield Terrier]

Scottish Premier League

 

Scottish Premier League 1999-00

 

P Team Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts Qualification or relegation

1 Rangers 36 28 6 2 96 26 70 90 UEFA Champions League 2000-01 Second qualifying round

2 Celtic 36 21 6 9 90 38 52 69 UEFA Cup 2000-01 Qualifying round

3 Hearts 36 15 9 12 47 40 7 54 UEFA Cup 2000-01 Qualifying round

4 Motherwell 36 14 10 12 49 63 -14 52

5 St. Johnstone 36 10 12 14 36 44 -8 42

6 Hibernian 36 10 11 15 49 61 -12 41

7 Dundee 36 12 5 19 45 64 -19 41

8 Dundee United 36 11 6 19 34 57 -23 39

9 Kilmarnock 36 8 13 15 38 52 -14 37

10 Aberdeen 36 9 6 21 44 83 -39 33

 

They should have been relegated that year - 1 decade wonders

 

They had an escape prior to that in season 94 -95 when league reconstruction meant they won a play off against Dunfermline instead of getting relegated.

[I'M IBRAHIM TALL]

Like a petulant child demanding attention, the more you comment and rise to it, the more they bang on. The easy solution is to allow people like this to write letters to provintial newspapers in the outposts, and leave them to it.

 

Charlie Allan, whether he be a journalist or a reader, obviously feels sporadic success and mid table success is grounds for being "the third force". I'm not sure exactly how you gauge this but if these views get Mr Allan through the night then so be it. I'm more of a traditionalist and view final league standings and our results this season against them to be the yardstick.

[Horse]

we played them towards the end of season 94/95 at Tynecastle and they were in danger of going down under Roy Aitken. They beat us 2-1 and ended up staying up through the play offs v Falkirk and Utd went down automatically.

 

We should have helped put them down that day:mad:

[Boof]

Aberdeen Man Drowns At Sea.

 

Giant Neep Found In Turriff.

 

I think it was Ellon...but I know what you mean

[Doc Rob]

I think it was Ellon...but I know what you mean

 

I thought it was 'Giant Neep Wins Turiff Show'?

 

(The version of the other I heard was 'North-East Man Dies In Disaster At Sea' or something similar, but I know what you mean too...)

[Craigieboy]

I think it's down to potential.

 

Aberdeens support is ****ing awful.

 

Ours is massive.

 

You've got to hand it to them for winning the Euro diddy cup once but other than that the club is a pile of pi ss.

 

.

[i8hibsh]

I really really really wish Aberdeen would just go away

[Gabriel]

Surely Third Force is a compete misnomer. I wince when I hear supporters, of any club, claiming this 'distinction'.

[Le Chat]

To be fair (for a change) any of the Aberdeen fans who have posted here over the last couple of years have freely admitted that Allan writes complete and utter horsesheeite.

 

He's the AEE's equivolent of Keith Kackson. A 'Grade-A' walloper.

[winston churchill]

To be fair (for a change) any of the Aberdeen fans who have posted here over the last couple of years have freely admitted that Allan writes complete and utter horsesheeite.

 

He's the AEE's equivolent of Keith Kackson. A 'Grade-A' walloper.

 

 

more like

 

barr...................E......................ANDERSUN;)

[oh ah grantona]

Surely Third Force is a compete misnomer. I wince when I hear supporters, of any club, claiming this 'distinction'.

 

correct i hate that to only one place i want to be number 1

[Geoff Kilpatrick]

I recall Aberdeen being beat by Queen's Park last season. It was a laugh for about a day and then the world moved on. Far funnier was their loss to Queen of the South in the Scottish Cup semis. No inquests etc. ensued after that result, just criticism of Aberdeen's defence and plaudits for Queen of the South's efforts.

 

I think Mr Allan needs to wipe his brow and lie down in a darkened room somewhere. Alternatively, someone should deliver him a DeLorean with a flux capacitator to transport him back to a time where his words would have had some credibility.

[Chip Douglas]

I quite enjoyed that piece, it was like something out of the footballing equivalent of Private Eye.

[Jam Tarts 1874]

Such was Aberdeen's success under Ferguson, they have actually won more trophies than us. However our overall league record is superior, i.e. we have finished runners-up more times, been in the top three more times, been in the top 5 more times etc etc. The sheep-botherers will point to a European trophy and claim that makes them bigger, but does that mean the Notts Forrest are bigger than Chelsea?

[Fozzyonthefence]

Surely Third Force is a compete misnomer. I wince when I hear supporters, of any club, claiming this 'distinction'.

 

You mean there isn't really a Third Force as there is no challenge to the OF? I tend to agree - finishing a distant 3rd isn't a "force".

[monkfish1979]

I quite enjoyed that piece, it was like something out of the footballing equivalent of Private Eye.

 

TBH, it always stuns me that a group of people with a gene pool that's about as diverse as that shared by dalmatians can even begin to communicate through the written word. I normally just smile and nod when one of them clucks at me - it makes them feel like they're participating, which is nice. Let's give the guy a pat on the back for being brave enough to try and break the shackles imposed upon him by an amoebic IQ.

 

We should, however, send some sort of letter to outline the fact that being considered a good football team has a fair bit to do with not being crap at football.

[Say What Again]

IT was great to see 50,000 Scots turn out to cheer our Olympic heroes during their open top bus parade through the streets of Edinburgh. The way things are going it?s likely to be the only time that bus will be out of the garage for a while. In case you missed it, I would like to point out both Hearts and Hibs were knocked out of the CIS League Cup in midweek. Isn?t it strange how little fuss was made, despite the Edinburgh duo both being beaten at home by lower league opposition?

 

If the Dons had gone down at Ayr you can be sure a lot more would have been made of it. That?s because, no matter what Hibs or Hearts fans may think, Aberdeen are still seen as the third force in Scottish football by everyone outwith Auld Reekie.

 

The press area at Somerset Park was packed in midweek as the vultures circled to feed on what they hoped would be another cup shock for the Dons.

One of the press pack even left without bothering to attend the after-match conference because he said a Dons win meant there was nothing in it for him!

Mighty Aberdeen losing to a lower league side is big news, as we witnessed when they went down to Queen?s Park and Queen of the South.

 

Stories about Aberdeen?s shame filled the headlines for days and rightly so.

They are a massive club, so shouldn?t be losing to the likes of those two. It?s no big deal when it happens to Hibs or Hearts though. They are like all of the other wee clubs ? they have good spells now and then. I?ve been told Hibs were really good in the 1950s, before I was born, but they have done little since.

 

Owner Vladimir Romanov?s antics gave Hearts a lift for a spell, but they are starting to slip back too. Sadly, it?s now unlikely either will ever reach the level where they can lay claim to being placed in the same bracket as the Dons and Old Firm. They won?t have any European trophies on their honours list for a start.

 

And don?t forget that the big three are the only ones to have never suffered the indignity of relegation from the top flight. That fact alone puts more pressure on Aberdeen in every game they play. Unlike Hibs and Hearts, they are still seen as a big scalp to claim.

 

That has to be one of the funniest things I've read in a while.

 

Dry your eyes mate.

[lazyscot]

"And don?t forget that the big three are the only ones to have never suffered the indignity of relegation from the top flight. That fact alone puts more pressure on Aberdeen in every game they play."

 

Might just be me but, are the 3 best teams really that fearful of relegation "in every game they play"?

 

The stronger teams usually enter games with the primary motivation of taking 3 points. Not avoiding defeat and then potentially dropping into Neverland.

 

I don't live near Edinburgh and I'm a Gers fan - we are very clear in the understanding that Hearts (sadly, not under Romanov) are the only team with a realistic chance of making it a three horse race.

 

I remember finishing third a few years ago and I don't think we were looking up at the Dons.

 

I don't believe Everton have ever been knocked down. Are they in the EPL's big 3?

[bighusref]

I love these sort of narrow minded articles.

 

Small town people that have little idea what goes on outside their own wee world. I notice there is not a link, did somebody from outside ehhhberdeen type it out? I would be impressed if said local paper had got so far as to have A) Internet connection and a Website.

[wild angus]

He's a tool, not even the sheep fans have any time for him. They regard him as a tango yes man, week in week out giving player match ratings of seven upwards, never over critical or objective of the club or team, constantly slagging of their supporters (fair enough) and seriously disliked by the press media up here. For those who dont know, when the EE reporters went on strike a few years back there were one or two who crossed the picket line?

[Geoff Kilpatrick]

Sounds just like David Hardon then!

[shaun.lawson]

I love these sort of narrow minded articles.

 

Small town people that have little idea what goes on outside their own wee world. I notice there is not a link, did somebody from outside ehhhberdeen type it out? I would be impressed if said local paper had got so far as to have A) Internet connection and a Website.

 

It was copied onto hibs.net. I've checked the website, and it hasn't popped up there yet - the article was in yesterday's edition, and the site only includes things up until Friday!

[Spellczech]

It was copied onto hibs.net. I've checked the website, and it hasn't popped up there yet - the article was in yesterday's edition, and the site only includes things up until Friday!

 

I've always felt merely arguing about who is this fantastical "third force" is demeaning, irrelevant and counter-productive to what is anyway a poinless argument...

[The Old Tolbooth]

My god, I honestly cant believe what I've just read from the OP's post

 

That's even worse than Bandersons stories ffs, talkl about stuck in a time warp! They remind me of Hibs fans in a way with being stuck in the past, only hobos are stuck somewhere around new year in 1973 and just cant move on.

 

Here's the latest presenter of "This is your life" with the "history of AFC" coming soon to your screens.

 

[shaun.lawson]

I've always felt merely arguing about who is this fantastical "third force" is demeaning, irrelevant and counter-productive to what is anyway a poinless argument...

 

It is, yes. But they'll probably be our rivals for 3rd place this season, and naturally enough, we've had a fair few battles with them in the past too. But when you read an article like that... good grief!

[The Old Tolbooth]

It is, yes. But they'll probably be our rivals for 3rd place this season, and naturally enough, we've had a fair few battles with them in the past too. But when you read an article like that... good grief!

 

That article should be pinned on the Hearts dressing room wall for the first time we play them this season

[winston churchill]

i thought one of our sheep posters would have dived in by now.

[TyphoonJambo]

I had the unfortuate "honour" to be in charge of the half time pipe band at Barry town. From that day on I have been emarassed by everything Aberdeen. the ans were a bunch of FUDS and the team played that bad that Barry bloody town should have won.

[Craig R]

In 2008 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2007 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2006 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2005 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2004 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2003 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2002 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2001 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 2000 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1999 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1998 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1997 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1996 Aberdeen won a diddy cup.

In 1995 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1994 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1993 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1992 Aberdeen won nothing.

In 1991 Aberdeen won nothing.

 

[stirlo]

That is classic! I cannot believe that journalist is actually being serious.

 

Most Jambos would even admit that Hibs have a bigger fanbase than Aberdeen.

[Pants Shaton]

 

I was looking for that photo!

[Therapist]

sheep are sellik apologists who are firmly rooted in the early 1980s. I despise them. Thanfully they will be homeless by March 2011 and go bust shortly afterwards.

[Gizmo]

The chap is a complete mangina - he doesn't even realise that writing something doesn't make it real! Does he realise his club are myred in trouble - penny pinching board, stadium sold, low attendances and have been unsuccessful, barely competitive in the SPL for decades....

 

He must be a distant relation to comical Ali!