200milesfromgorgie Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 I'm about to get hitched and have forgot (honest) to write a speech! What do i say? I'm toying with 3 ideas 1 - Try out material for my new stand up routine 2 - just list loads of cliches and thank you 3 - freeform beat poetry help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hughesie27 Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 last wedding I was at he groom had the easiest speech. Just thanking everybody for coming and getting revenge on the best man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bighusref Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 The groom says little of note. Start of by saying something like "myself and Mrs 200 miles from Gorgie would like to thank you all" You won't get past the Mrs bit. You thank the parents of the other family for treating you "like a son", flowers for both mums (if alive, if not a wee message for those that could not be there) Also, if your chat is any good, chuck in a funny or two at the end, if it is pesh, shut up and ask for a toast. Easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hughesie27 Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 The groom says little of note. Start of by saying something like "myself and Mrs 200 miles from Gorgie would like to thank you all" You won't get past the Mrs bit. You thank the parents of the other family for treating you "like a son", flowers for both mums (if alive, if not a wee message for those that could not be there) Also, if your chat is any good, chuck in a funny or two at the end, if it is pesh, shut up and ask for a toast. Easy. It's decided then, he is going for the toast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 Read Buffalo Bills Groom speach on how to be gay at your own wedding. Actually the most profound, honest speach I've read. Except mine's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daydream Believer Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 I'm about to get hitched and have forgot (honest) to write a speech! What do i say?I'm toying with 3 ideas 1 - Try out material for my new stand up routine 2 - just list loads of cliches and thank you 3 - freeform beat poetry help. Got to be the beat poetry!!! Like in So I married an axe murderer.... "woman, woman, woooah man!" class Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
upthehill Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 just tell her you love her. Then get her... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 Got to be the beat poetry!!! Like in So I married an axe murderer.... "woman, woman, woooah man!" class A few thank yous first; a stanza or two of beat poetry and then top it off with a spot of puppetry of the penis. It'll go down a storm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hughesie27 Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 just tell her you love her. Then get her... PUMPED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 just tell her you love her. Then get her... A big black man for the wedding night Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
200milesfromgorgie Posted August 11, 2008 Author Share Posted August 11, 2008 i am the white ICE CUBE. will that do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boof Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 Mate...you've gotta let JKB write your speech for you...save you all that trouble, 'nall. I suggest everyone contributes one line or sentence. No doubt you'd need to kick off with the tried and tested... "On behalf of Mrs 200milesfrom gorgie and myself..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
upthehill Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 "On behalf of Mrs 200milesfrom gorgie and myself..." and the entire Jambo nation... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 you have a pm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boaby Ewing Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 you have a pm ...which in English means a pongy *****, but despite that I still love you dearly... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boof Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 ...which in English means a pongy *****, but despite that I still love you dearly... ...very dearly...I had to flog the Porsche to pay for this shindig... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 ...very dearly...I had to flog the Porsche to pay for this shindig... ...although it needed to go ever since you tore the roof lining with the heels of your stillettoes, y'mucky tart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudi must stay Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 I'm about to get hitched and have forgot (honest) to write a speech! What do i say?I'm toying with 3 ideas 1 - Try out material for my new stand up routine 2 - just list loads of cliches and thank you 3 - freeform beat poetry help. not all comedy but have some in it, makes things less anxious imo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmfc_steve Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 There's a pretty naff website : http://www.thebestmanspeech.com/ ... might help ? here's how not to do it ! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJJIs2BM1LE&feature=related Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mysterion Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 in my speech I thanked all the Rangers and Celtic fans for not doing the usual and leaving early at 4.30. i ended by rubbishing the best man and ensured he was set up with everyone thinking he was possibly a compulsive liar... made most people not believe i had been done for speeding and when he flashed a card saying 95mph most people didn't believe it (it was 91 anyway). will PM you some tips later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo_LuLu Posted August 12, 2008 Share Posted August 12, 2008 ...which in English means a pongy *****, but despite that I still love you dearly... :rofl::rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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