John Titor Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'. Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition: Hijack an airliner and win a council house! We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor the British Taxpayer. And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet. Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British passport, and you only need one word of English: 'ASYLUM'!. Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at ?180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights. This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar. No application ever refused reasonable or unreasonable.. All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password: 'ASYLUM'. Only this week 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury ?200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel. They join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain . Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area In Historic Bedfordshire. If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid. Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help.. It won't cost you a penny, so play today; it could change your life forever. Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers, bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...COME ON DOWN! Get along to the airport, get along to the lorry park, get along to the ferry terminal. Don't stop in Germany or France . Go straight to Britain and you are guaranteed to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on earth. Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'. FORWARD THIS TO EVERY BRITISH TAX PAYER YOU KNOW! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 I think that's a Richard Littlejohn column. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spikey Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 I think that's a Richard Littlejohn column. It is. Been plagiarised a number of times and is fairly old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heaven98 Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 I think that's a Richard Littlejohn column. Is his recent nom de plume not John Littledick? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy the Jambo Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'. Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition: Hijack an airliner and win a council house! We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor the British Taxpayer. And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet. Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British passport, and you only need one word of English: 'ASYLUM'!. Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at ?180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights. This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar. No application ever refused reasonable or unreasonable.. All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password: 'ASYLUM'. Only this week 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury ?200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel. They join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain . Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area In Historic Bedfordshire. If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid. Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help.. It won't cost you a penny, so play today; it could change your life forever. Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers, bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...COME ON DOWN! Get along to the airport, get along to the lorry park, get along to the ferry terminal. Don't stop in Germany or France . Go straight to Britain and you are guaranteed to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on earth. Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'. FORWARD THIS TO EVERY BRITISH TAX PAYER YOU KNOW! The thing is we all know that every word of that is true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denny Crane Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Well thank God for this nation's so-called "soft-touch" approach as back in '39 some of my Mum's elder relations had the urge to leave their own nation when Hitler and Stalin decided to carve it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparky Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 The thing is we all know that every word of that is true. I'd be mighty surprised if it was all true. It also neglects to mention the thousands of legitimate asylum seekers who we are saving from horrific situations (and possible death) in their own countries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 The thing is we all know that every word of that is true. Really? I would say most of it is complete bull. But lets not let the truth stand in the way of a rant by a man who barely deserves the job title of journalist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick Grimes Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 The thing is we all know that every word of that is true. only if we're hard of thinking. Richard Littlejohn is a ****. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tommythejambo Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 It is a very over simplified way of looking at things. Whilst there is a certain air of truth to it, it is very exaggerated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
200milesfromgorgie Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 tripe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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