I P Knightley Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Have any of you chaps out there had a conversation with the wife, girlfriend, significant other where you've found yourself saying, "I'm sorry, could you repeat that but with a little more detail?" One of yesterday's convos went like this: Wife: "Can you take all 3 boys swimming on Saturday..." Me: "Yes" Most would have thought that this was the end of the conversation; that I'd committed myself (graciously) to the request and that there was a deal struck between the two of us that I would take the 3 boys swimming on Saturday. In short, End Off. But, hell, no! Those three dots signify that she was still effing talking about stuff that she was going to do and how difficult it is in all it's minute and tedious attention to detail... And was it a Thursday or a Wednesday? Or, oh, no, it wasn't though. Oh, who cares anyway because I do not so Norman, if you're normal, I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life, and I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen incessant quotations from "Now We Are Six" through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head. Or something. I wasn't listening. I'd said "yes". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Ivan, if I'm honest my attention tailed of half way through your third from last paragraph. I feel this is what you intended as it was the literary format of your wife's ramblings. I empathise and sympathise with you comrade. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 Ivan, if I'm honest my attention tailed of half way through your third from last paragraph. I feel this is what you intended as it was the literary format of your wife's ramblings. I empathise and sympathise with you comrade. Thank you for your perserverance. I'll raise a glass to toast your 8,000th post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo_Gaz Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Ivan, if I'm honest my attention tailed of half way through your third from last paragraph. I feel this is what you intended as it was the literary format of your wife's ramblings. I empathise and sympathise with you comrade. I second that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doctor jambo Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I hear you fellow struggler There are several problems as I see it 1- wives feel threatened by silence and need to fill the void with mundane, irrelevant chit chat you have no interest in 2- they take the lack of conversation as a slight on themselves 3- they think because you say nothing you are in a "funny mood" 4 they discuss the same thing 4000 times and wonder why it bores you 5 - when they are in a mood they ask what is wrong with YOU 6- they change their orders so many times you forget what you are actually supposed to be doing , and take this as lack of interest (a capital offence punnished by couch bannishment 7- the older they get the less capable they are of dressing themselves, and need to seek an opinion on thier outfits and ask what they should wear. I have never asked a woman what I should wear, and as a subspecies I never understood why for being so obsessed with clothes they would ask a man who clearly has not a frickin clue what top goes with what shoes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudi Hates Hibees Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I hear you fellow strugglerThere are several problems as I see it 1- wives feel threatened by silence and need to fill the void with mundane, irrelevant chit chat you have no interest in 2- they take the lack of conversation as a slight on themselves 3- they think because you say nothing you are in a "funny mood" 4 they discuss the same thing 4000 times and wonder why it bores you 5 - when they are in a mood they ask what is wrong with YOU 6- they change their orders so many times you forget what you are actually supposed to be doing , and take this as lack of interest (a capital offence punnished by couch bannishment 7- the older they get the less capable they are of dressing themselves, and need to seek an opinion on thier outfits and ask what they should wear. I have never asked a woman what I should wear, and as a subspecies I never understood why for being so obsessed with clothes they would ask a man who clearly has not a frickin clue what top goes with what shoes Exactly as I see it! 3,4 and 5 drive me nuts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 1- wives feel threatened by silence and need to fill the void with mundane, irrelevant chit chat you have no interest in Never when Coronation Street is on though, always when the programme YOU want to watch is!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambo 71 Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Never when Coronation Street is on though, always when the programme YOU want to watch is!! Don't forget Emmerdale and Eastenders.... Thankyou;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 I hear you fellow struggler 6- they change their orders so many times you forget what you are actually supposed to be doing , and take this as lack of interest (a capital offence punnished by couch bannishment I should be laughing but I'm feeling slightly sad. "Orders" is about right. The kids get it too. "I told you to tidy your toys." Not, "I asked you to..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigC Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Have a read of this: http://www.mil-millington.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Macaroons Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Exactly as I see it!3,4 and 5 drive me nuts! Re No7 I told my misses on Tues that the top she was wearing was 'a bit tight, is it not'....(i.e buttons about to become missiles). Shes agrees , straightens up, tugs her blouse down a bit....is that better? she says. 'Nope.' Que book launched across room and i am a barsteward. only trying to help dear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I hear you fellow strugglerThere are several problems as I see it 1- wives feel threatened by silence and need to fill the void with mundane, irrelevant chit chat you have no interest in 2- they take the lack of conversation as a slight on themselves 3- they think because you say nothing you are in a "funny mood" 4 they discuss the same thing 4000 times and wonder why it bores you 5 - when they are in a mood they ask what is wrong with YOU 6- they change their orders so many times you forget what you are actually supposed to be doing , and take this as lack of interest (a capital offence punnished by couch bannishment 7- the older they get the less capable they are of dressing themselves, and need to seek an opinion on thier outfits and ask what they should wear. I have never asked a woman what I should wear, and as a subspecies I never understood why for being so obsessed with clothes they would ask a man who clearly has not a frickin clue what top goes with what shoes I completely agree with you mate, on EVERYTHING! Although I have to contend with something else that most male JKB'ers don't. After I've read Kickback in it's entirety, she then comes home and potters around, eventually switching her pc on and feels a flippin need to read out every single post to me again!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest juvehearts Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 the one that gets right on my nut is when youre busy & she'll ask you to do something. you say in a min & get a torrent of abuse about it. put the shoe on the other foot & she says im not your slave!! cheeky cow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 Have a read of this: http://www.mil-millington.com/ One of my favourite blogs ever. I also got 2 or 3 of his books. I love his writing style. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambovambo Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Have any of you chaps out there had a conversation with the wife, girlfriend, significant other where you've found yourself saying, "I'm sorry, could you repeat that but with a little more detail?" One of yesterday's convos went like this: Wife: "Can you take all 3 boys swimming on Saturday..." Me: "Yes" Most would have thought that this was the end of the conversation; that I'd committed myself (graciously) to the request and that there was a deal struck between the two of us that I would take the 3 boys swimming on Saturday. In short, End Off. But, hell, no! Those three dots signify that she was still effing talking about stuff that she was going to do and how difficult it is in all it's minute and tedious attention to detail... And was it a Thursday or a Wednesday? Or, oh, no, it wasn't though. Oh, who cares anyway because I do not so Norman, if you're normal, I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life, and I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen incessant quotations from "Now We Are Six" through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head. Or something. I wasn't listening. I'd said "yes". Ah - the late, great, Vivian Stanshall, if I am not mistaken ... from, what was it ... "My pink half of the drainpipe" or something ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 Ah - the late, great, Vivian Stanshall, if I am not mistaken ... from, what was it ... "My pink half of the drainpipe" or something ? Good spot and 100% correct on the title - in fact, only the first line of that paragraph is my own work. The rest is Stanshall's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Macaroons Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 The kitchen wherever I am in OUR kitchen...I am in the way. even if shes popping in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambovambo Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Good spot and 100% correct on the title - in fact, only the first line of that paragraph is my own work. The rest is Stanshall's. Wonderful. Wasn't sure where the quote started. Usher Hall a couple of years ago - Ade Edmundsen and Phil Jupitus were decent stand-ins for the late, great, bonkers man ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambovambo Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 2:45 in ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 Wonderful. Wasn't sure where the quote started. Usher Hall a couple of years ago - Ade Edmundsen and Phil Jupitus were decent stand-ins for the late, great, bonkers man ... I missed them on that tour. A mate who had no prior knowledge of the Bonzos got a free ticket from one of his colleagues and I lent him a couple of my CDs before he went. Needless to say, he came back a convert. Jupitus is a huge fan of theirs and his part on the tour was more awe-struck dream-come-true stuff than just being an able deputy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambovambo Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I missed them on that tour. A mate who had no prior knowledge of the Bonzos got a free ticket from one of his colleagues and I lent him a couple of my CDs before he went. Needless to say, he came back a convert. Jupitus is a huge fan of theirs and his part on the tour was more awe-struck dream-come-true stuff than just being an able deputy. (sorry to hijack the thread, all ...) ... a bit like Douglas Adams playing with the Floyd at Earls Court for his birthday (bless ...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tedp6873 Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Another one is when they are talking to you and you are watching the tv and listening at the same time, then all of a sudden they start talking about pink pigs and loads of them, then they say are you ok with that as they think you didnt hear them and ask you what they said. WE CAN MULTI TASK JUST AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The People's Chimp Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Have any of you chaps out there had a conversation with the wife, girlfriend, significant other where you've found yourself saying, "I'm sorry, could you repeat that but with a little more detail?" One of yesterday's convos went like this: Wife: "Can you take all 3 boys swimming on Saturday..." Me: "Yes" Most would have thought that this was the end of the conversation; that I'd committed myself (graciously) to the request and that there was a deal struck between the two of us that I would take the 3 boys swimming on Saturday. In short, End Off. But, hell, no! Those three dots signify that she was still effing talking about stuff that she was going to do and how difficult it is in all it's minute and tedious attention to detail... And was it a Thursday or a Wednesday? Or, oh, no, it wasn't though. Oh, who cares anyway because I do not so Norman, if you're normal, I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life, and I shall baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses in the kitchen incessant quotations from "Now We Are Six" through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head. Or something. I wasn't listening. I'd said "yes". get her pumped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 get her pumped. I thought it would never happen. (The GHP post, not the pumping). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wattie Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 My girlfriend is wonderful. Shes doesn't batter on about pointless crap. She brings me a beer when I get in. She is a good cook. She drops to her knees without even being asked. It's great. We have just moved in together a month ago. Of course she's going to stay that way forever.....isn't she??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambovambo Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I thought it would never happen. (The GHP post, not the pumping). Is there a need for a "get her pumped" smiley ? Maybe not. :getherpumped: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The People's Chimp Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I thought it would never happen. (The GHP post, not the pumping). it needed saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alwaysthereinspirit Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 'Is this a long story" is the first thing I ask my wife when she starts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alwaysthereinspirit Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 My girlfriend is wonderful. Shes doesn't batter on about pointless crap. She brings me a beer when I get in. She is a good cook. She drops to her knees without even being asked. It's great. We have just moved in together a month ago. Of course she's going to stay that way forever.....isn't she??? If she's a good cook now she'll probably always be. As for the other stuff.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Macaroons Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 If she's a good cook now she'll probably always be. As for the other stuff.... yip , im afraid its Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seats Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 How about the all time favourite - TWO questions in one e.g. Wife - "Are you going to work tomorrow....(significant pause)........ or are you playing golf?" Me - "yes" Wife - "well which?" Me - "if you had only asked one frigging question, you would have understood my answer!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 The worst is when you are having a discussion(an argument really) and you are actually getting the better of her. So she will suddenly bring up something you did six years ago and say what a rotter and a B you are for doing that(six years ago). So you retaliate by saying ah but what about when you did the samething but, only six months ago. She replies ah but that's different as I was only getting you back for what you did six years ago. To which you reply I was right then you are thick as it took you five and a half years to do what you still castigate me for and you didnt have the brains to think of something different. Watch them go into hyperspace then. I dont dislike women. I just treat them the same as blokes and the plain truth is they dont like it. They dont want to be treated the same as blokes. The squeal equality all the time but, have no intention of being equal. They want to be un-equal in that they want to be treated special all the time. The rules they apply for men do not apply to themselves and they hate it with a passion any man who does apply the same rules to them. John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackjambo22 Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 The OP, what a mundane, OTT and serious pile of hibs that thread of yours is:mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Macaroons Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 If she's a good cook now she'll probably always be. As for the other stuff.... The worst is when you are having a discussion(an argument really) and you are actually getting the better of her. So she will suddenly bring up something you did six years ago and say what a rotter and a B you are for doing that(six years ago). So you retaliate by saying ah but what about when you did the samething but, only six months ago. She replies ah but that's different as I was only getting you back for what you did six years ago. To which you reply I was right then you are thick as it took you five and a half years to do what you still castigate me for and you didnt have the brains to think of something different. Watch them go into hyperspace then. I dont dislike women. I just treat them the same as blokes and the plain truth is they dont like it. They dont want to be treated the same as blokes. The squeal equality all the time but, have no intention of being equal. They want to be un-equal in that they want to be treated special all the time. The rules they apply for men do not apply to themselves and they hate it with a passion any man who does apply the same rules to them. John So so true. This sequence normally kicks in when my misses is clamped in the current topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted July 25, 2008 Author Share Posted July 25, 2008 The OP, what a mundane, OTT and serious pile of hibs that thread of yours is:mad: Care to elaborate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doctor jambo Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 You do one , minor little thing wrong, like forget to empty a dishwasher, and get subjected to a 2 hour diatribe of all the things that you have forgotten over the entire period of your courtship, accompanied with "and why did you do that?" "feck knows dear, it was 6 years ago, I'd forgotten all about it" "you'd forgotten, shows how little it matters to you" " I forgot to wash a cup 6 years ago!" and on and on and on Or the classic- " husband of mine, we dont cuddle or kiss as much as we used to, I feel unloved" "Wife of mine, we used to **** like jack rabbits, what the hell happened to that?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midloth_Iain Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 My pet hate with the wife I tell her I am going out tonight, where I am going and all the (irrelevant) details just to keep her from stropping. OK, she says ..... No further mention of it. 2 hours later as I open the door and have one foot outside she starts to ask me, when will I be home, do I want any supper, etc, etc. Geez, woman, you had 2 hours to ask me,why wait until I am out the bloody door !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goldstone Wonder Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Or the classic- " husband of mine, we dont cuddle or kiss as much as we used to, I feel unloved" "Wife of mine, we used to **** like jack rabbits, what the hell happened to that?" Yep. Know the feeling.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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