Stupid Sexy Flanders Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 I've got three examples that i can't believe I had to explain: 1. That your goal difference can't possibly go up if you get beat. 2. How a team can clinch the title without playing, if their nearest challengers lose. (Specifically Liverpool a couple years ago.) 3. How, if you've got a game in hand over one team, that game can't possibly be against that team. Anyone got any others? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
If carlsberg did rivals... Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 Not football but horse racing, was trying to pick some nags many years ago with my wife next to me in the bookies, one horse had nap next to his name. She asked if that meant it had a sleep before the race! Obviously I told her that's exactly what it meant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bungalow Bill Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 (edited) Found myself explaining to folk around me quite a few times why the linesman hasn’t put their flag up straight away until the phase of play is over. Folk going mental at the linesman for following the new rule. Clearly not the daftest though. Edited March 30 by Bungalow Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jr ewing Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 No offside at throw ins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovecraft Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 (edited) How being offside is 2 players behind the player, not just 1. Edited March 30 by Lovecraft Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 5 minutes ago, Stupid Sexy Flanders said: I've got three examples that i can't believe I had to explain: 1. That your goal difference can't possibly go up if you get beat. 2. How a team can clinch the title without playing, if their nearest challengers lose. (Specifically Liverpool a couple years ago.) 3. How, if you've got a game in hand over one team, that game can't possibly be against that team. Anyone got any others? Had my x wife at a game, wondered why the teams were shooting the wrong way in the 2nd half😏. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CostaJambo Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 A random once asked my son what time the game started and when my son replied "Kick-off's at quarter to eight" the guy said "Is that when the game starts?". Another one pre-internet my brother and I were watching one of those football funnies videos with the silly clips and my first wife's sister's boyfriend who was a total hooray henry wanders in, looks at the screen and says, "Number one, is he the goalie?". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EH11 2NL Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 6 minutes ago, Bungalow Bill said: Found myself explaining to folk around me quite a few times why the linesman hasn’t put their flag up straight away until the phase of play is over. Folk going mental at the linesman for following the new rule. Clearly not the daftest though. Don't understand how people can't follow the reasoning, had this one a few times myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShedBoy Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 Offside at a goal kick. FFS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 A particularly posh boss I had once expressed astonishment that I was going to a game on Saturday. “But you were there on Wednesday as well”. I’m not sure he fully understood that every game is different to the last one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShedBoy Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 If a keeper takes a goal kick into wind and it blows back into his goal. It’s a corner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William H. Bonney Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 I once had to correct a friend who was constantly berating Gary Mackay during a game. 1. It wasnt Gary Mackay 2. He wasn't even on the field Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlphonseCapone Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 10 minutes ago, EH11 2NL said: Don't understand how people can't follow the reasoning, had this one a few times myself. I think a lot of folk do but voice frustration at the rule rather than lack of understanding it. So "put your ****ing flag up" isn't necessarily that folk don't know why the linesman hasn't and more venting about the rule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlphonseCapone Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 10 minutes ago, ShedBoy said: If a keeper takes a goal kick into wind and it blows back into his goal. It’s a corner. That's you trying to act clever rather than actually properly responding to the thread imo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 Played at the charity event at Tynecastle before the old stand was knocked down and my ma asked which stand it was that they were knocking down... The yin with the bulldozers you tube Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Fredrickson Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 Explaining to a colleague at work (celtic minded) that a kick in the pus is a red card offence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seaside Dave Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 Just because I am of protestant faith and I'm a member of a flute band that doesn't mean you have to support rangers. You can actually separate the 2 and don't need to bring it into football Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stupid Sexy Flanders Posted March 30 Author Share Posted March 30 (edited) 45 minutes ago, Stupid Sexy Flanders said: L 2. How a team can clinch the title without playing, if their nearest challengers lose. (Specifically Liverpool a couple years ago.) I want to clarify this one, I couldn't believe it at the time. Two boys at work were taking and one of them said "Apparently Liverpool can win the league tonight, even though they're not playing, how does that work?" And the other boy said it wasn't actually possible, as even though they were 20-odd points behind, even if they got beat, they'd be the same number of points behind, "it's not like they lose points if they get beat." I had to explain to them both how they'd have one less game to play. Edited March 30 by Stupid Sexy Flanders Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SectionG Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 30 minutes ago, ShedBoy said: If a keeper takes a goal kick into wind and it blows back into his goal. It’s a corner. Knew this rule, but now that they take them short and ball doesn’t need to come out of box, it may be something that changes, although it’s highly unlikely the keeper is going to kick it into his own net. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 Two: The offside trap. And, to my best friends, both of whom are American - Players can play in the Scottish leagues without actually being Scottish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fozzyonthefence Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 8 minutes ago, Seaside Dave said: Just because I am of protestant faith and I'm a member of a flute band that doesn't mean you have to support rangers. You can actually separate the 2 and don't need to bring it into football Usually means you’re a bigot though so it’s not a huge leap. I wish it wasn’t brought into football. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seaside Dave Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 6 minutes ago, Fozzyonthefence said: Usually means you’re a bigot though so it’s not a huge leap. I wish it wasn’t brought into football. Isn't brought into football from myself anyways. I know how to separate it 😃 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fozzyonthefence Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 1 minute ago, Seaside Dave said: Isn't brought into football from myself anyways. I know how to separate it 😃 You know how to separate being a bigot from football? Glad to hear it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
been here before Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 58 minutes ago, If carlsberg did rivals... said: Not football but horse racing, was trying to pick some nags many years ago with my wife next to me in the bookies, one horse had nap next to his name. She asked if that meant it had a sleep before the race! Obviously I told her that's exactly what it meant! I mind being at the racing at Musselburgh years back and having to explain to the lassie I was with that the weight on the racecard was the weight the horse was carrying and not the combined weight of the horse and jockey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martoon Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 The away goal rule. A relative of mine just could not get his head around it. It didn’t help that he couldn't let go of the "away goals count double" notion. No one was happier than me when they scrapped it. The guy is otherwise quite clever. His brain just could not grasp it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
If carlsberg did rivals... Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 16 minutes ago, been here before said: I mind being at the racing at Musselburgh years back and having to explain to the lassie I was with that the weight on the racecard was the weight the horse was carrying and not the combined weight of the horse and jockey. I'm trying to picture a horse and jockey combo weighing 10 stone! It ain't pretty 😱 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stupid Sexy Flanders Posted March 30 Author Share Posted March 30 5 minutes ago, martoon said: The away goal rule. A relative of mine just could not get his head around it. It didn’t help that he couldn't let go of the "away goals count double" notion. No one was happier than me when they scrapped it. The guy is otherwise quite clever. His brain just could not grasp it. Aye, it didn't help that commentators would always spout that bollocks. Led to people completely misunderstanding the rule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShedBoy Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 55 minutes ago, AlphonseCapone said: That's you trying to act clever rather than actually properly responding to the thread imo. Any football fan, at any level should know this. zero cleverness required. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fozzyonthefence Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 4 minutes ago, ShedBoy said: Any football fan, at any level should know this. zero cleverness required. That’s not what the thread is about though. You’ve just thrown in a random rule for no reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merrymac Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 1 hour ago, If carlsberg did rivals... said: Not football but horse racing, was trying to pick some nags many years ago with my wife next to me in the bookies, one horse had nap next to his name. She asked if that meant it had a sleep before the race! Obviously I told her that's exactly what it meant! In a similar vein my dear old ma , many years ago watching the racing on TV and looking at the betting “ That horse Bar must be really tired it runs in every race “ 😳🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FWJ Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 Driving through Glasgow one day a ‘Rangers fan’ pointed out the window and asked ‘what’s that over there?’ It was Ibrox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All roads lead to Gorgie Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 (edited) Why we always say the referee is a w@nker when they are just there to referee the game in an impartial manner in the eyes of the so called football fan. Edited March 30 by All roads lead to Gorgie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShedBoy Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 39 minutes ago, Fozzyonthefence said: That’s not what the thread is about though. You’ve just thrown in a random rule for no reason. What's the daftest football thing you've ever had to explain to someone you thought was a football fan? It’s exactly what the thread’s about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FarmerTweedy Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 1 hour ago, martoon said: The away goal rule. A relative of mine just could not get his head around it. It didn’t help that he couldn't let go of the "away goals count double" notion. No one was happier than me when they scrapped it. The guy is otherwise quite clever. His brain just could not grasp it. A quirk of the away goals rule that used to amuse me was that you couldn't win on away goals if you kept a clean sheet away from home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlphonseCapone Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 21 minutes ago, ShedBoy said: What's the daftest football thing you've ever had to explain to someone you thought was a football fan? It’s exactly what the thread’s about. So explain the time it happened and you had to explain it then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fozzyonthefence Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 35 minutes ago, ShedBoy said: What's the daftest football thing you've ever had to explain to someone you thought was a football fan? It’s exactly what the thread’s about. How many times have you seen this happen and had to explain it to someone?😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boof Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 To an Old Firm fan that no...I really do NOT have a favourite out of the two. If they're playing each other I want whichever result is most beneficial to Hearts. Other than that, multiple orderings-off, injuries, arrests, citations are what I'd seek. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HMFC01 Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 I got asked once at a match, "Is that half time already?", "No, they just finished the pre-match warm-up." 😲 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
been here before Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 32 minutes ago, AlphonseCapone said: So explain the time it happened and you had to explain it then? 17 minutes ago, Fozzyonthefence said: How many times have you seen this happen and had to explain it to someone?😂 Aye, thats a conversation that has never taken place far less in the context of this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stupid Sexy Flanders Posted March 30 Author Share Posted March 30 1 hour ago, FarmerTweedy said: A quirk of the away goals rule that used to amuse me was that you couldn't win on away goals if you kept a clean sheet away from home. Oh here's another one I've had... We had a sweep on our bus for the time of our first goal in the second leg at home to Rosenborg. I got 105-115 minutes, ie during extra time. I had to explain how I couldn't possibly win! (Clue: We were 2-1 down from the first leg.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorgiewave Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 My granny believed, or pretended to believe, that one point was awarded per goal scored. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShedBoy Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 1 hour ago, AlphonseCapone said: So explain the time it happened and you had to explain it then? 1 hour ago, Fozzyonthefence said: How many times have you seen this happen and had to explain it to someone?😂 2 There are a lot of fat dads out there that don’t know the laws of the game. Edinburgh South v Edina h1b5 Easthouses v Peebles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watt-Zeefuik Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 A very small number on JKB who during our admin year were furious as to why the club hadn’t signed better players. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosanostra Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 4 hours ago, Stupid Sexy Flanders said: 3. How, if you've got a game in hand over one team, that game can't possibly be against that team. That was on here right? I'm sure I remember reading that and being completely confused that anyone could think it was possible. 🤣 The number of posters on here who blame DoFs for signings that don't work out instead of blaming the manager / head coach who actually decides to sign them always seems weird to me. There's no way I've got the time or inclination to bother explaining it to them. They probably wouldn't understand or accept it anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martoon Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 (edited) 1 hour ago, Stupid Sexy Flanders said: Oh here's another one I've had... We had a sweep on our bus for the time of our first goal in the second leg at home to Rosenborg. I got 105-115 minutes, ie during extra time. I had to explain how I couldn't possibly win! (Clue: We were 2-1 down from the first leg.) 😄 I always liked Jasper Carrott's gag about a first goal sweep on the opening day of Birmingham City's season. He got November. Edited March 31 by martoon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bazzas right boot Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 Results are better than flair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redjambo Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 5 hours ago, Stupid Sexy Flanders said: 3. How, if you've got a game in hand over one team, that game can't possibly be against that team. Well, technically, you could have one game in hand over another team, but you are, for example, actually two games behind schedule and the other team one game behind schedule, with one of those games of yours, perhaps even the first to be played, being against the other team. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stupid Sexy Flanders Posted March 31 Author Share Posted March 31 7 hours ago, cosanostra said: That was on here right? I'm sure I remember reading that and being completely confused that anyone could think it was possible. 🤣 The number of posters on here who blame DoFs for signings that don't work out instead of blaming the manager / head coach who actually decides to sign them always seems weird to me. There's no way I've got the time or inclination to bother explaining it to them. They probably wouldn't understand or accept it anyway. I remember it happening on here but it's actually come up in my real life too. 😄 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stupid Sexy Flanders Posted March 31 Author Share Posted March 31 6 hours ago, redjambo said: Well, technically, you could have one game in hand over another team, but you are, for example, actually two games behind schedule and the other team one game behind schedule, with one of those games of yours, perhaps even the first to be played, being against the other team. If you had one game in hand over that team before the game, you'd still have one after it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamboozy Posted March 31 Share Posted March 31 74 World Cup, at my mum and dad’s house, watching Scotland , my older brothers (twins) on leave from the Navy, my younger brother in attendance, even my uncle Dan walked up to take in the game. All us blokes are getting excited, shouting and bawling at the Telly. My Mum is catching up with her ironing, her board set up in the corner, and she pipes up “All that fuss, why don’t they just give them a ball each to play with “ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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