Sooks Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 There will always be a loser . Is there ever a case where everyone wins ? Must be really rare Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Elliott Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 My own experience wasn’t great but know a few folk who made it work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 My first divorce was a wee bit acrimonious. My second divorce was as friendly as friendly could be. Me and my then second wife are more friendly now than then we were married. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmarkus1981_1 Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 My wife left me 13 years or so ago, no hassle, no arguments, easy peasy. Much happier now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henrysmithsgloves Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 Ex-wife ran off with my best mate 🥺 Christ,I miss him😆 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudyJudyJudy Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 7 minutes ago, henrysmithsgloves said: Ex-wife ran off with my best mate 🥺 Christ,I miss him😆 The old ones are the best , still made me chuckle 🤭 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudyJudyJudy Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 When me and the ex broke up it was a hard time , really struggled . Longest weekend of my life . 😎 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudyJudyJudy Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 On a serious note I suppose it depends on why you broke up , the circumstances etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henrysmithsgloves Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 3 minutes ago, JudyJudyJudy said: The old ones are the best , still made me chuckle 🤭 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooks Posted January 12 Author Share Posted January 12 Mum and Dad split up when I was 14 . Thankfully my own marriage is stronger . It definitely can affect the kids Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Elliott Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 20 minutes ago, Sooks said: Mum and Dad split up when I was 14 . Thankfully my own marriage is stronger . It definitely can affect the kids I think that’s the key thing. No matter how acrimonious things ate between the parents they should try and shield the kids as much as possible and definitely not use them for point scoring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudyJudyJudy Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 8 minutes ago, Pete Elliott said: I think that’s the key thing. No matter how acrimonious things ate between the parents they should try and shield the kids as much as possible and definitely not use them for point scoring. Hence if a couple unhappy its best to split even if they kids , and hopefully manage it well . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudyJudyJudy Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 35 minutes ago, henrysmithsgloves said: He always made me chuckle 🤭 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taffin Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 You either stop wasting your life with someone you don't want to be with...or who doesn't want to be with you. Seems win-win. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooks Posted January 12 Author Share Posted January 12 21 minutes ago, JudyJudyJudy said: Hence if a couple unhappy its best to split even if they kids , and hopefully manage it well . 7 minutes ago, Taffin said: You either stop wasting your life with someone you don't want to be with...or who doesn't want to be with you. Seems win-win. Maybe but maybe not . It definitely can leave a scar if it happens when the kids are between certain ages Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudyJudyJudy Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 15 minutes ago, Taffin said: You either stop wasting your life with someone you don't want to be with...or who doesn't want to be with you. Seems win-win. Yep . 👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudyJudyJudy Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 11 minutes ago, Sooks said: Maybe but maybe not . It definitely can leave a scar if it happens when the kids are between certain ages Yes I’d agree that age is important . I think it’s apparently more difficult for teenagers as they have more of an understanding of the break up than a younger child . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bull's-eye Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 I'd imagine there will be a serious amount of still married partners that think they've lost. Marrying the wrong person is the issue. Dont marry the wrong person. Simples 👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 When I got divorced my pre divorce wife bought me a mug that says “better to have loved and lost than be stuck with the psycho for the rest of your life”. I’m not sure if she meant I was the psycho or she was but it’s not a bad sentiment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toxteth O'Grady Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 21 minutes ago, Tazio said: When I got divorced my pre divorce wife bought me a mug that says “better to have loved and lost than be stuck with the psycho for the rest of your life”. I’m not sure if she meant I was the psycho or she was but it’s not a bad sentiment. She meant you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redjambo Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 2 hours ago, mrmarkus1981_1 said: My wife left me 13 years or so ago, no hassle, no arguments, easy peasy. Much happier now Perhaps someone should check your freezer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redjambo Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 19 minutes ago, Toxteth O'Grady said: She meant you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmarkus1981_1 Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 31 minutes ago, redjambo said: Perhaps someone should check your freezer. bit 31 minutes ago, redjambo said: Perhaps someone should check your freezer. Splash of siracha sauce, cooked low and slow. She was delicious in the end 🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 56 minutes ago, Toxteth O'Grady said: She meant you In all honesty it went equally in both directions at that particular time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonnie Prince Charlie Posted January 12 Share Posted January 12 Been separated from my violent wife for over 3 years now, thank god. Our wee boy lives in both our houses due to a court arrangement. What irks me is that if I had not been financially able to counteract her demands to have him 7 days per week (I would be allowed to see him when it suited her). She got legal aid of course. He is a lovely boy and is very much used to living with mum and dad in separates households. I have to start divorce proceedings soon, would have done it a long time ago if we didn’t have the bairn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pagey Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 Time passes and things get easier I found. Biggest issue in my divorce were the relatives sticking their noses and opinions in, made things 10 x worse. Our boys have grown up to be great young men which is testament to my ex and I trying our hardest to make it work for their benefit. I'm always pleased I was able to prove her relatives wrong on a number of fronts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawnrazor Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 Just now, Pagey said: Time passes and things get easier I found. Biggest issue in my divorce were the relatives sticking their noses and opinions in, made things 10 x worse. Our boys have grown up to be great young men which is testament to my ex and I trying our hardest to make it work for their benefit. I'm always pleased I was able to prove her relatives wrong on a number of fronts. I wish more couples would be so considerate towards the children, I've a mate who's going through hell just trying to get to see his daughter, his partner has really weaponised the child, it's heartbreaking to watch, she knows the pain she's putting them both through too, should be illegal to carry on as she is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Section Q Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 4 hours ago, Tazio said: When I got divorced my pre divorce wife bought me a mug that says “better to have loved and lost than be stuck with the psycho for the rest of your life”. I’m not sure if she meant I was the psycho or she was but it’s not a bad sentiment. Still got the mug.......? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henrysmithsgloves Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 For myself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herbert. Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 I was married young and split after 3-4 years.It was a struggle, I used to have 200 for food and bus fares for them month so I lived on 2 packets of 20p noodles a day and used to walk 2hours each way to work most of the time. I still won and looking at her life now she lost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PTBCAL Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 I split up with kids Mum in 2010 . My youngest was less than a year. Despite her constant behaviour towards me, getting the police on non existent harassment charges, cancelling their time with me at last minute I stick it out. I had them 2/3 nights a week and still paid a huge amount of maintenance without fail. Now I would say all 3 are hugely closer to me than their Mum. Much closer. We all share a bond of football which only came from hours every weekend with their Dad. And I don’t just mean Hearts. When we split my kids were absolutely fine with it. Didn’t bat an eyelid even though it must have been a shock as they were only 7, 4 and 1. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 7 hours ago, Section Q said: Still got the mug.......? Yep. It’s a good mug. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 17 hours ago, Sooks said: There will always be a loser . Is there ever a case where everyone wins ? Must be really rare TBH my divorce went smooth, if thats possible , no kids so that helped, still a hard time but was just a phase in my life, no one won, pretty equal parting of ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 6 hours ago, Herbert. said: I was married young and split after 3-4 years.It was a struggle, I used to have 200 for food and bus fares for them month so I lived on 2 packets of 20p noodles a day and used to walk 2hours each way to work most of the time. I still won and looking at her life now she lost. Thats about 6 miles to work, 20p noodles, 😧, certainly keep the weight off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PortyJambo Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 1 hour ago, PTBCAL said: When we split my kids were absolutely fine with it Me and my sister both said as teenagers to each other that we wished our parents would just get divorced. My dad had had an affair (which we didn't know about at the time) and my mum has never stopped punishing him for it since, but she wanted to stay married so it didn't "punish the kids". Well, watching them constantly fighting and the acrimony in the marriage was worse, in our eyes, than if they'd just divorced and got on with their lives separately. Of course, I'm sure there would have been other things to deal with if they had, but we saw what two people who don't get on staying together does too, and it wasn't pretty and I'm still sure to this day it would have been better if they'd split up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Section Q Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 3 hours ago, Tazio said: Yep. It’s a good mug. 👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herbert. Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 6 hours ago, Harry Potter said: Thats about 6 miles to work, 20p noodles, 😧, certainly keep the weight off. Yeah was 6miles each way, Lost loads of weight. It helped with the online dating 😉 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 57 minutes ago, Herbert. said: Yeah was 6miles each way, Lost loads of weight. It helped with the online dating 😉 👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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