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FWJ

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1 minute ago, FWJ said:

You’re old when you don’t fall over, you have a fall.

Or when you start making noises when you sit down and stand up.

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Auld Reekin'
2 hours ago, Seymour M Hersh said:

Sucks! 

 

But is still better than the alternative...   :ermm:

Edited by Auld Reekin'
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Auld Reekin'
3 minutes ago, Lemongrab said:

Or when you start making noises when you sit down and stand up.

 

Farting or just groaning? (Or both?)

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1 minute ago, Auld Reekin' said:

 

Farting or just groaning? (Or both?)

Mostly groaning, though the strain of getting up can have an effect at times.

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11 minutes ago, Lemongrab said:

Or when you start making noises when you sit down and stand up.

A violent sneeze a few days ago caused an involuntary fart at the same time. I don’t remember this happening before so it must come under the ageing category. 

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The Real Maroonblood
1 minute ago, Tazio said:

A violent sneeze a few days ago caused an involuntary fart at the same time. I don’t remember this happening before so it must come under the ageing category. 

Did the fart follow through?

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highlandjambo3

Thankfully I did a great deal of time in the forces and, the deal then is you would get a pension after 22years service with the amount you get dependent on the rank you achieved.  So, the army has been paying me dosh every month since I left 16 years ago and, they will continue to do so until I’m deed.  Also, a good thing was I didn’t have to contribute a single penny to that pension 😊😊....thank you very much tax payers....😉.  They don’t do that type of pension any more, wonder why.

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9 minutes ago, The Real Maroonblood said:

Did the fart follow through?

Well that’s another level of dread you’ve added for the future. 

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The Real Maroonblood
9 minutes ago, highlandjambo3 said:

Thankfully I did a great deal of time in the forces and, the deal then is you would get a pension after 22years service with the amount you get dependent on the rank you achieved.  So, the army has been paying me dosh every month since I left 16 years ago and, they will continue to do so until I’m deed.  Also, a good thing was I didn’t have to contribute a single penny to that pension 😊😊....thank you very much tax payers....😉.  They don’t do that type of pension any more, wonder why.

I didn’t realise that the armed forces was a non contributory pension scheme.👍
 

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I've lost count of the number of times I've went upstairs to get/do something, only to forget what it was when I got up there. My biggest dread now is that all of a sudden I'll remember everything at once and I'll be rushed off my feet.

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Lone Striker
11 hours ago, redjambo said:

Apart from the aches, pains and bits falling off, I feel virtually the same as I did at 21. There's a strange old guy who looks back at me when I look in a mirror though - I feel like he's hijacked my face. I guess the fact that I'm now white-haired and don't shave very often, and so look like a less jolly version of Santa Claus, doesn't help though. :)

😀:smiliz19: ..... and there we were thinking that you looked like the young(ish)  guy in your pic !!!

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20 minutes ago, Pasquale for King said:

Looking at a winter jacket and thinking how suitable it is for the football, pockets for hat n gloves etc 😆

Or you find yourself looking in shoe shop windows thinking how comfy a pair of shoes look as opposed to looking good.

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The Real Maroonblood
2 minutes ago, Tazio said:

Or you find yourself looking in shoe shop windows thinking how comfy a pair of shoes look as opposed to looking good.

Especially shoes with Velcro instead of laces.

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Lone Striker
4 hours ago, luckydug said:

Agree with most of this👍

It's worth remembering though our parents (I'm 69)had to fight a war. 

My Dad fought in the Burma campaign and although he lived to come home a succession of physical and mental health problems what we now refer to as PTSD gradually took its toll and he had to retire from the building trade in his early fifties and died at the age of 56.

My mother had to nurse him through his ill health as well as keep her job going because the help from the government was pitiful(a land fit for heroes🤔). 

They didn't have the chance to invest in private pensions. 

My Dad never even got to collect his state pension and the widows pension that my mother got was counted as 

'unearned income' and taxed on top of her wages which meant she was left with next to nothing. 

My first suit for starting work was bought with vouchers from the Earl Haig fund. 

I believe or generation although we had it hard early in life with post war austerity have really had the best of the deal. That's why we are mostly reasonably comfortable and able to keep active and live a worthwhile existence compared to our Parents generation. 

 

Very poignant post, Dug.    👍     

 

It's a strange and worrying irony for many people nowadays that as their  lives  reap the benefit from more and more  gadgets/technology/wealth/medical science/legal protections,  the more unhappy/stressed  they seem to be.   Contrast modern life with what our parents & grandparents had to live through (as you say)

 

 

      

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Lone Striker
22 minutes ago, The Real Maroonblood said:

Especially shoes with Velcro instead of laces.

.

Edited by Lone Striker
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Lone Striker
Just now, Lone Striker said:

Ha-ha ... yes.    Velcro is the bees knees.    Also those elasticated laces - they turn ordinary shoes into slip-ons which actually stay on.  No more bending over !!    

 

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My house is basically my pension. Once the kids move out, sell up, down size and use the remaining cash to live off. 

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highlandjambo3
1 hour ago, The Real Maroonblood said:

I didn’t realise that the armed forces was a non contributory pension scheme.👍
 

It was when I joined in 1980, I don’t think they are so generous now.

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The Real Maroonblood
2 minutes ago, highlandjambo3 said:

It was when I joined in 1980, I don’t think they are so generous now.

Good you got the benefit. 

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The Real Maroonblood
3 minutes ago, Norm said:

My house is basically my pension. Once the kids move out, sell up, down size and use the remaining cash to live off. 

Did that a few years ago.

Although it was a few years ago since they moved out. 

Wonderful. 

:munny:

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1 hour ago, Tazio said:

Well that’s another level of dread you’ve added for the future. 


It’s when you no longer realise that you’ve followed through that you really need to worry. 

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fancy a brew
1 hour ago, Tazio said:

A violent sneeze a few days ago caused an involuntary fart at the same time. I don’t remember this happening before so it must come under the ageing category. 

 

That's another telltale sign.

:whistling:

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Pasquale for King
56 minutes ago, Tazio said:

Or you find yourself looking in shoe shop windows thinking how comfy a pair of shoes look as opposed to looking good.

Struggle to wear them now, I thought I was just me but if you rarely wear them they feel weird 😆😂

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1 minute ago, gjcc said:


It’s when you no longer realise that you’ve followed through that you really need to worry. 

When you're at that stage the worry will all be someone elses.

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1 hour ago, Lone Striker said:

😀:smiliz19: ..... and there we were thinking that you looked like the young(ish)  guy in your pic !!!

 

:biggrin2: I wish.

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Seymour M Hersh
2 hours ago, Auld Reekin' said:

 

But is still better than the alternative...   :ermm:

 

Do we really know that? :lol:

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7 hours ago, The Real Maroonblood said:

:lol:

 

Not that I ever would, you understand?  🙄

 

7 hours ago, merrymac said:

Too far Morgan too far:waiting:

 

To be honest, Mac, I hate hot feet so have never done this.

 

7 hours ago, FWJ said:

It’s important to be comfy....

 

There are better ways to be comfy in bed.  :biggrin2:

 

4 hours ago, Marvin said:

 

:jjno:

 

 

I know, perish the thought.

 

3 hours ago, Harry Potter said:

Or a potty under the bed, note, i dont have one.

 

I believe you, Harold.  Thousands wouldn’t.

 

Hot water bottle?  Be honest now!

Edited by Morgan
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28 minutes ago, Lemongrab said:

When you're at that stage the worry will all be someone elses.

Aye the bairns when they turn up to take you and your muddy trews out for the day. 
 

Come on dad, in you get...

 

 

3B983D0A-34A2-4624-8091-410AF09A9ABF.jpeg

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5 minutes ago, gjcc said:

Aye the bairns when they turn up to take you and your muddy trews out for the day. 
 

Come on dad, in you get...

 

 

3B983D0A-34A2-4624-8091-410AF09A9ABF.jpeg


There’s some tablet in the glove box for you. 

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13 hours ago, redjambo said:

Apart from the aches, pains and bits falling off, I feel virtually the same as I did at 21. There's a strange old guy who looks back at me when I look in a mirror though - I feel like he's hijacked my face. I guess the fact that I'm now white-haired and don't shave very often, and so look like a less jolly version of Santa Claus, doesn't help though. :)

 

I remember the time I looked in a mirror and for the first time I saw my dad looking back at me.  Now it's my grandfather. :wheelchair:

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1 hour ago, Norm said:

My house is basically my pension. Once the kids move out, sell up, down size and use the remaining cash to live off. 

 

1 hour ago, The Real Maroonblood said:

Did that a few years ago.

Although it was a few years ago since they moved out. 

Wonderful. 

:munny:

 

Same here, used my pension pot to buy my house, therefore no mortgage and if I was to sell right now, I'd treble what I paid for it.

Plan is once Mrs JJ retires, we'll down size to a 1 or 2 bedroom and whatever the excess is we'll use for holiday's & travel and of course wine & beer.

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The Real Maroonblood
2 minutes ago, Jambo-Jimbo said:

 

 

Same here, used my pension pot to buy my house, therefore no mortgage and if I was to sell right now, I'd treble what I paid for it.

Plan is once Mrs JJ retires, we'll down size to a 1 or 2 bedroom and whatever the excess is we'll use for holiday's & travel and of course wine & beer.

Perfect plan.👍

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Auld Reekin'
1 hour ago, Seymour M Hersh said:

 

Do we really know that? :lol:

 

Nope, although a few of our more outspoken posters on either side of that particular fence will of course insist that they do.   :whistling:   For me, however, it's a case of "better the devil* you know".   

 

 

 

 

 

 

(*i.e. Life, which of course isn't always a bed of roses.)

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Auld Reekin'
16 minutes ago, Psychedelicropcircle said:

Bullseye next year 😦 cropcirclette says yi want to start acting it😅

 

Speeding towards that very, very, quickly myself.  :gfy:

 

Well, sounds to me like she's just given you the green light to become a grumpy, curmudgeonly, moaning-faced, old git. Embrace it, I say!   :thumbsup:

 

One Foot in the Grave | Gold

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John Gentleman
3 hours ago, Lemongrab said:

I've lost count of the number of times I've went upstairs to get/do something, only to forget what it was when I got up there. My biggest dread now is that all of a sudden I'll remember everything at once and I'll be rushed off my feet.

No chance you'll remember everything at once now; you're too far gone :)

'Compartmentalisation', as you've described it, does have its benefits. Think of the exercise you're getting when you have to trudge back downstairs so you can remember whatever it is that you've forgotten. That's followed by another trudge upstairs. 

 

I'm building myself a 'retirement' house at the moment. It's single storey. 👍

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2 minutes ago, Auld Reekin' said:

 

Nope, although a few of our more outspoken posters on either side of that particular fence will of course insist that they do.   :whistling:   For me, however, it's a case of "better the devil* you know".   

 

 

 

 

 

 

(*i.e. Life, which of course isn't always a bed of roses.)

 I have had a number of descriptions lately about the after life, in the Hospice where my wife passed they told me she has gone to a place where she will be with all she has known who have already gone, my religious brother in law advises me that we just go into a deep sleep and stay there until God forgives man for their sins and creates the rapture which will be everlasting life. My retired medical doctor neighbour whom I met in the street while we were both out walking stopped and we started a conversation.  I commented that it was a beautiful day, and I enjoyed very much sunshine, he a religious to the extreme individual advised me that he also loved the sun, but, he would be going to heaven where he would have eternal sunshine, whilst I whom he adjudges do not believe in Jesus will go to Torment for eternity. The fact is I have no idea what happens when we die, I have seen many dead, they do not look particularly happy, but then thats just the vessel for life, anyway  why would I want to be  this baldy old fart for eternity, I have had my three score years and ten and some I now just need the rest. I'll worry about it when I get old. 

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Auld Reekin'
1 minute ago, Sharpie said:

 I have had a number of descriptions lately about the after life, in the Hospice where my wife passed they told me she has gone to a place where she will be with all she has known who have already gone, my religious brother in law advises me that we just go into a deep sleep and stay there until God forgives man for their sins and creates the rapture which will be everlasting life. My retired medical doctor neighbour whom I met in the street while we were both out walking stopped and we started a conversation.  I commented that it was a beautiful day, and I enjoyed very much sunshine, he a religious to the extreme individual advised me that he also loved the sun, but, he would be going to heaven where he would have eternal sunshine, whilst I whom he adjudges do not believe in Jesus will go to Torment for eternity. The fact is I have no idea what happens when we die, I have seen many dead, they do not look particularly happy, but then thats just the vessel for life, anyway  why would I want to be  this baldy old fart for eternity, I have had my three score years and ten and some I now just need the rest. I'll worry about it when I get old. 

 

:thumbsup:    Years to go yet!

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18 hours ago, felix said:

Thought you were aleady retired tbf but hope  request is sucessful :wink:

 

I only behave that way.

 

OK, and I only look that way too.  :laugh:

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2 hours ago, Morgan said:

 

Hot water bottle?  Be honest now!

 

I couldn't survive without my hot water bottle during winter. In a nice fleece covering. Bliss. :)

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35 minutes ago, redjambo said:

 

I couldn't survive without my hot water bottle during winter. In a nice fleece covering. Bliss. :)

Do you cuddle it?  😳

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5 hours ago, The Real Maroonblood said:

Did the fart follow through?

 

28 minutes ago, Harry Potter said:

Too much🤣

 

The fart followed through too much?

 

:vrwow:

 

Messy.

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Just now, Morgan said:

Do you cuddle it?  😳

 

Of course. We don't all have partners to cuddle up to and keep us warm. :sad:

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