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Sharpie

Life's Challenges.

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J.T.F.Robertson
6 hours ago, davemclaren said:

@Sharpie I’ve set you up as an honorary paid member so your PMs should be working again. 
 

 

 

6 hours ago, davemclaren said:

@J.T.F.Robertson bob’s PMs should be fine now. 

 

Good man, Dave. Demonstrates the respect Bob is held in by everyone on here.

 

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Morgan
7 hours ago, davemclaren said:

@Sharpie I’ve set you up as an honorary paid member so your PMs should be working again. 
 

 

:clap:   Good man, Dave.

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superjack
1 hour ago, J.T.F.Robertson said:

 

 

Good man, Dave. Demonstrates the respect Bob is held in by everyone on here.

 

Totally agree, bob is like the favourite uncle of kickback.

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John mcCartney

Bob,
have a think about hiring a joiner/handyman(whats the titles in Canada ?) type over where you are to fit some pull handles in your house bathroom,steps etc where you might need to help yourselves get along.
Ive just reinforced my parents and their neighbours (both sets aged 79) big old wooden staircase that they share from their upper villa flats leading down to their back gardens.16 steps ....Ive fitted new ballustrades both sides and down the centre,added pull handles at points and they are very happy with that kind of thing being done.
Makes a big difference for punters of this age.
Hopefully you both are ok regardless,just thought id mention it.
Good luck with everything.......

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Sharpie
1 hour ago, John mcCartney said:

Bob,
have a think about hiring a joiner/handyman(whats the titles in Canada ?) type over where you are to fit some pull handles in your house bathroom,steps etc where you might need to help yourselves get along.
Ive just reinforced my parents and their neighbours (both sets aged 79) big old wooden staircase that they share from their upper villa flats leading down to their back gardens.16 steps ....Ive fitted new ballustrades both sides and down the centre,added pull handles at points and they are very happy with that kind of thing being done.
Makes a big difference for punters of this age.
Hopefully you both are ok regardless,just thought id mention it.
Good luck with everything.......

 

Thanks very much, it is good advice. After her trip to hospital the Health department have sent nurses etc. to help us some of their suggestions are exactly what you say. She now has  a walker, a higher toilet seat, a bar on the bed  for safety and is an assist for me to get her into bed. 

She has had all the blood tests has to go for some more and because of Covid etc that will be another week before she even gets on a list to see the doctor. The previous tests showed lots of problems, low haemoglobin, low vitamin B 12, low blood count, and other things. Lots of tests lots of help but no f. ..  g medication.

This is a woman I have spent sixty years of my life with who less than a month ago I was out for a long walk and blether with. A medical problem that was caused by stress, speeding a problem that would have happened but slower. In my police chief days I dealt with a Union grievance during this the Union President who was representing his man told him never question the bosses memory,  and never ever give him a reason to hold a grudge because he will get you. Well I am in that situation right now, this was all instigated by a fellow senior resident who has a male love for one of the contractors who caused damage to my house and acted as his go between to get the damage repaired. I actually because of his lack of action paid for the repairs.The liar lied, prevaricated and even laughed at me one time when I told him to enjoy it its not over yet. I can assure you its not.

Rambling again but just use me as a warning that on Monday you may have the perfect life but the next day you can be in hell, don't be like me. learn all that your wife does and ensure she does the same for you, because when it hits the fan it really splatters.

My deepest appreciation to you all again for your kindness and nice words, when you are sitting typing like this with tears running down your cheeks its difficult when you always thought you were a real hard man.

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John mcCartney

Bob,Im hoping that everything settles down for you and your wife in the coming days and you can see the future with much more clarity .
It must be quite bewildering at the moment  and hopefully you navigate through this to your utmost.
Im sure you will and good luck.

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Sharpie

So life just likes to kick you in the nuts when  you least expect it. I had become a full time nurse, get up in the middle of the night or her toilet break, .30am can't sleep so get things started for the day. Today was pretty good, we done some things in the house together, she has a nice nap, same with lunch and another wee nap. I am here back in ull JKB mood.  #.30pm we get together in the kitchen do some of our chore,  take here to use the toilet things going good. We are having Pasta for dinner, in the oven at 75 for thirty minutes, the take out stir and return for ten minutes. The wife opens the oven, I am behind slightly to the side to offer support, suddenly she comes flying backwards, hits me I go flying hit my replaced hip on a cupboard and fall to the floor just in time to see Esther bang her head on a cupboard door. I check   I can get up but in some pain, Esther concious but cannot get up, I manage to get to a neighbour, get help, and ultimately an ambulance is called. We were getting on so well, she was telling me regularly I was doing the right things, and then here we are again, lots of help the health service provide a walker, a high toilet seat, a frame to avoid accident for the bed, the only thing we haven't had in three or four weeks is a diagnosis of whats wrong with her, and something to help her at least reduce the symptoms. I am sore at the hip, lonely and not happy.

Well as they used to say on the old Itma show, is everybody happy? well we'll soon put a stop to that.

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Georgecowie

Hi Bob, I'm relatively new to jkb but have been following this thread and it seems you haven't your troubles to seek at present. Hopefully the tide turns for you and your wife, from afar I do wonder if having someone close by who can assist you in quick time might be helpful, if a little daunting and a bit of an upheaval. Well, a major upheaval, especially at this tricky time with the pandemic. Asking for help may be what is required here beyond you taking so much of the strain. Or I could be talking nonsense and sticking my nose in! From one jambo to another I hope your luck takes a well deserved turn and soon. 

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Sharpie
13 minutes ago, Georgecowie said:

Hi Bob, I'm relatively new to jkb but have been following this thread and it seems you haven't your troubles to seek at present. Hopefully the tide turns for you and your wife, from afar I do wonder if having someone close by who can assist you in quick time might be helpful, if a little daunting and a bit of an upheaval. Well, a major upheaval, especially at this tricky time with the pandemic. Asking for help may be what is required here beyond you taking so much of the strain. Or I could be talking nonsense and sticking my nose in! From one jambo to another I hope your luck takes a well deserved turn and soon. 

No your thoughts are highly appreciated. I had help tonight from neighbours, phoned the hospital and she seems to be ok, she has been walking with a walker, but the nurse did ask if she had been prescribew  waffarin sp,  I know that is a blood thinner so I guess their tests again are showing problems with her blood. When she was checked last time that was mentioned. I spoke to our family doctor yesterday and she wants more tests done on her ectolytes.  You are exactly the type of person I knew from my experience with the guys on here and why I sought the help here because you are probably like myself  and most of the good guys on here would fight at the drop of a hat, but have a sympathy etic helpful nature I don't think I could find anywhere else. Real men with gentle hearts, and always ready to suffer with the others which is probably why we follow Heart of Midlothian, you need lots of sympathetic shoulders.

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Georgecowie

I'm more of a night owl than a prize fighter Bob, but I'm glad you appreciated my message. My brother's in law moved to a new place. Think they call it assisted living. Basically independent, but you have buttons in the flat/rooms for help. It's a thought, might cost a small fortune right enough. Away to my kip, quarter past 4! 

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davemclaren
13 hours ago, Sharpie said:

No your thoughts are highly appreciated. I had help tonight from neighbours, phoned the hospital and she seems to be ok, she has been walking with a walker, but the nurse did ask if she had been prescribew  waffarin sp,  I know that is a blood thinner so I guess their tests again are showing problems with her blood. When she was checked last time that was mentioned. I spoke to our family doctor yesterday and she wants more tests done on her ectolytes.  You are exactly the type of person I knew from my experience with the guys on here and why I sought the help here because you are probably like myself  and most of the good guys on here would fight at the drop of a hat, but have a sympathy etic helpful nature I don't think I could find anywhere else. Real men with gentle hearts, and always ready to suffer with the others which is probably why we follow Heart of Midlothian, you need lots of sympathetic shoulders.

Bob,

 

are there no local government or private agencies you can turn to for some assistance?

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Sharpie
20 minutes ago, davemclaren said:

Bob,

 

are there no local government or private agencies you can turn to for some assistance?

 

There will be now, Esther went to the emergency again after another fall. All the work ups done 1030pm get a call she is ready to come home. Straight down, straight home, both very tired straight to bed. For the first time in our massive king size bed she complained of being cold, I as if she wants me to move over and cuddle in, she says yes. We both immediately go sound.

2.30am the phone rings its Emergency, the message we have found some things on the scans we hadn't noticed it seems your wife had a stroke and we are sending an ambulance immediately to bring her back here we both get in the ambulance into emergency. I answer a few questions and thats it. Esther has a good sleep, I have none I sit on a hard side chair, I eventually say I just have to get some rest and I do the 20 minute walk home. Can't sleep,so make breakfast, phone our son, make the bed a usual, put in a laundry, get a call saying Esther is being kept in the hospital and will be put on a full in hospital recovery program with no visitors, and extended possibly weeks long. I am also asked the Code. If she lapses does she want life saving actions or just normal surgery and medications. What di dI think she would want. I feel she would want to just go, and hopefully will be with our Deborah, I love my wife so much, my prophesy early on may be coming true how do you say that kind of goodbye. Again sorry guys, but we are so close we probably caused our own isolation by being too involved with each other. 

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Kalamazoo Jambo
23 minutes ago, Sharpie said:

 

There will be now, Esther went to the emergency again after another fall. All the work ups done 1030pm get a call she is ready to come home. Straight down, straight home, both very tired straight to bed. For the first time in our massive king size bed she complained of being cold, I as if she wants me to move over and cuddle in, she says yes. We both immediately go sound.

2.30am the phone rings its Emergency, the message we have found some things on the scans we hadn't noticed it seems your wife had a stroke and we are sending an ambulance immediately to bring her back here we both get in the ambulance into emergency. I answer a few questions and thats it. Esther has a good sleep, I have none I sit on a hard side chair, I eventually say I just have to get some rest and I do the 20 minute walk home. Can't sleep,so make breakfast, phone our son, make the bed a usual, put in a laundry, get a call saying Esther is being kept in the hospital and will be put on a full in hospital recovery program with no visitors, and extended possibly weeks long. I am also asked the Code. If she lapses does she want life saving actions or just normal surgery and medications. What di dI think she would want. I feel she would want to just go, and hopefully will be with our Deborah, I love my wife so much, my prophesy early on may be coming true how do you say that kind of goodbye. Again sorry guys, but we are so close we probably caused our own isolation by being too involved with each other. 

 

Hi Bob - I’ve got no great words of wisdom but you can be sure there a lot of folks on here who are rooting for you and Esther. Thinking of you both.

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davemclaren
24 minutes ago, Sharpie said:

 

There will be now, Esther went to the emergency again after another fall. All the work ups done 1030pm get a call she is ready to come home. Straight down, straight home, both very tired straight to bed. For the first time in our massive king size bed she complained of being cold, I as if she wants me to move over and cuddle in, she says yes. We both immediately go sound.

2.30am the phone rings its Emergency, the message we have found some things on the scans we hadn't noticed it seems your wife had a stroke and we are sending an ambulance immediately to bring her back here we both get in the ambulance into emergency. I answer a few questions and thats it. Esther has a good sleep, I have none I sit on a hard side chair, I eventually say I just have to get some rest and I do the 20 minute walk home. Can't sleep,so make breakfast, phone our son, make the bed a usual, put in a laundry, get a call saying Esther is being kept in the hospital and will be put on a full in hospital recovery program with no visitors, and extended possibly weeks long. I am also asked the Code. If she lapses does she want life saving actions or just normal surgery and medications. What di dI think she would want. I feel she would want to just go, and hopefully will be with our Deborah, I love my wife so much, my prophesy early on may be coming true how do you say that kind of goodbye. Again sorry guys, but we are so close we probably caused our own isolation by being too involved with each other. 

Sorry to hear that Bob. Hope she makes a good recovery now that they know what the problem is. 

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Auld Reekin'
28 minutes ago, Sharpie said:

 

There will be now, Esther went to the emergency again after another fall. All the work ups done 1030pm get a call she is ready to come home. Straight down, straight home, both very tired straight to bed. For the first time in our massive king size bed she complained of being cold, I as if she wants me to move over and cuddle in, she says yes. We both immediately go sound.

2.30am the phone rings its Emergency, the message we have found some things on the scans we hadn't noticed it seems your wife had a stroke and we are sending an ambulance immediately to bring her back here we both get in the ambulance into emergency. I answer a few questions and thats it. Esther has a good sleep, I have none I sit on a hard side chair, I eventually say I just have to get some rest and I do the 20 minute walk home. Can't sleep,so make breakfast, phone our son, make the bed a usual, put in a laundry, get a call saying Esther is being kept in the hospital and will be put on a full in hospital recovery program with no visitors, and extended possibly weeks long. I am also asked the Code. If she lapses does she want life saving actions or just normal surgery and medications. What di dI think she would want. I feel she would want to just go, and hopefully will be with our Deborah, I love my wife so much, my prophesy early on may be coming true how do you say that kind of goodbye. Again sorry guys, but we are so close we probably caused our own isolation by being too involved with each other. 

 

Stick in there Bob. As davemclaren says, it could well be an important step that she has now had a definite diagnosis.

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J.T.F.Robertson
3 hours ago, Kalamazoo Jambo said:

 

Hi Bob - I’ve got no great words of wisdom but you can be sure there a lot of folks on here who are rooting for you and Esther. Thinking of you both.

 

Same with me, Bob, but as KJ says above, for what it's worth, you can be sure of it.

Also, as Dave said, if nothing else, it seems they at least have an idea what they're dealing with and that in itself can't be a bad thing.

 

My best wishes.

 

 

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Carl Fredrickson

Thinking of you both Bob. 

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Maple Leaf
6 hours ago, Sharpie said:

 

There will be now, Esther went to the emergency again after another fall. All the work ups done 1030pm get a call she is ready to come home. Straight down, straight home, both very tired straight to bed. For the first time in our massive king size bed she complained of being cold, I as if she wants me to move over and cuddle in, she says yes. We both immediately go sound.

2.30am the phone rings its Emergency, the message we have found some things on the scans we hadn't noticed it seems your wife had a stroke and we are sending an ambulance immediately to bring her back here we both get in the ambulance into emergency. I answer a few questions and thats it. Esther has a good sleep, I have none I sit on a hard side chair, I eventually say I just have to get some rest and I do the 20 minute walk home. Can't sleep,so make breakfast, phone our son, make the bed a usual, put in a laundry, get a call saying Esther is being kept in the hospital and will be put on a full in hospital recovery program with no visitors, and extended possibly weeks long. I am also asked the Code. If she lapses does she want life saving actions or just normal surgery and medications. What di dI think she would want. I feel she would want to just go, and hopefully will be with our Deborah, I love my wife so much, my prophesy early on may be coming true how do you say that kind of goodbye. Again sorry guys, but we are so close we probably caused our own isolation by being too involved with each other. 

 

Bob, I'm not going to try to offer words of support because I have none to offer.  You are in a hellish situation and nothing anyone can say will make things better.  Be comforted in the knowledge that Esther is getting the best care available.

 

Try to arrange phone calls so that you can talk with her, even better if you can use Zoom or Skype so that you can see each other.  Try to avoid being alone.  Being alone in a room, at a time like this, with nothing but your own thoughts is not a place you want to be right now.  Think of the times that Esther made you laugh, or you made her laugh.  Try to laugh at those memories now.  It worked for me when I was in a desperate place, and maybe it will work for you.  Reach out to your friends, they will be glad to help in any way they can.

 

And your many friends at Kickback will always be here.

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Sharpie

If you want to hear of a terrible day here I go.

About 2.30pm Esther called from the hospital, she was talking as clear and perfect as I have heard in weeks.  

Shortly after her brother called and said the ward nurse had told him Esther would be talking to a doctor about coming home on Wednesday.

At 5.30pm a doctor phoned me to advise that she had not had a stroke but has a brain tumor. They will look at treatments, but regardless she will not totally recover, but he had no estimate of how long she has. It could be now, or weeks but she is terminal.

Not a bad way to end a day of good news, better news and bad news, happy sixtieth anniversary Robert and Esther.

 

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Maple Leaf
19 minutes ago, Sharpie said:

If you want to hear of a terrible day here I go.

About 2.30pm Esther called from the hospital, she was talking as clear and perfect as I have heard in weeks.  

Shortly after her brother called and said the ward nurse had told him Esther would be talking to a doctor about coming home on Wednesday.

At 5.30pm a doctor phoned me to advise that she had not had a stroke but has a brain tumor. They will look at treatments, but regardless she will not totally recover, but he had no estimate of how long she has. It could be now, or weeks but she is terminal.

Not a bad way to end a day of good news, better news and bad news, happy sixtieth anniversary Robert and Esther.

 

 

Bob, there are treatments to shrink brain tumors.  These treatments can extend life indefinitely.  We are all "terminal".

 

Don't give up hope.

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Sharpie
47 minutes ago, Maple Leaf said:

 

Bob, there are treatments to shrink brain tumors.  These treatments can extend life indefinitely.  We are all "terminal".

 

Don't give up hope.

 

She is to be examined tomorrow by the specialist, but the doctor who spoke to.me also wanted to speak to any children, you get pretty sure they are getting you ready for the negative word. They are going to make arrangements for me to see Esther as an essential relative. You are in my time era, we have both lost a daughter  you would think the man above would have given a wee break and made this more simple without the good news bad days. I can only hope I don't have along time to spend in this hell which looks like getting lonelier. 

You know it gets you panicking cancelling pensions, income tax, selling the house, the one light in all this darkness, many wouldn't believe you could go where I did a football forum, and have so many kind gentlemen give you there support and sympathy that the guys on here have.

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Kalamazoo Jambo
19 minutes ago, Sharpie said:

 

She is to be examined tomorrow by the specialist, but the doctor who spoke to.me also wanted to speak to any children, you get pretty sure they are getting you ready for the negative word. They are going to make arrangements for me to see Esther as an essential relative. You are in my time era, we have both lost a daughter  you would think the man above would have given a wee break and made this more simple without the good news bad days. I can only hope I don't have along time to spend in this hell which looks like getting lonelier. 

You know it gets you panicking cancelling pensions, income tax, selling the house, the one light in all this darkness, many wouldn't believe you could go where I did a football forum, and have so many kind gentlemen give you there support and sympathy that the guys on here have.

 

Very sorry to hear that update, Bob. Glad you will at least be able to see Esther.

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Barack
2 hours ago, Sharpie said:

 

She is to be examined tomorrow by the specialist, but the doctor who spoke to.me also wanted to speak to any children, you get pretty sure they are getting you ready for the negative word. They are going to make arrangements for me to see Esther as an essential relative. You are in my time era, we have both lost a daughter  you would think the man above would have given a wee break and made this more simple without the good news bad days. I can only hope I don't have along time to spend in this hell which looks like getting lonelier. 

You know it gets you panicking cancelling pensions, income tax, selling the house, the one light in all this darkness, many wouldn't believe you could go where I did a football forum, and have so many kind gentlemen give you there support and sympathy that the guys on here have.

Sorry to hear, Bob. Can only reiterate the points made by others; in that there's always someone here to talk to, or purely if you just need to vent. Which is perfectly understandable.

 

 

 

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davemclaren
6 hours ago, Sharpie said:

 

She is to be examined tomorrow by the specialist, but the doctor who spoke to.me also wanted to speak to any children, you get pretty sure they are getting you ready for the negative word. They are going to make arrangements for me to see Esther as an essential relative. You are in my time era, we have both lost a daughter  you would think the man above would have given a wee break and made this more simple without the good news bad days. I can only hope I don't have along time to spend in this hell which looks like getting lonelier. 

You know it gets you panicking cancelling pensions, income tax, selling the house, the one light in all this darkness, many wouldn't believe you could go where I did a football forum, and have so many kind gentlemen give you there support and sympathy that the guys on here have.

Wow, that’s an emotional roller coaster Bob. Hope you and Esther still have a good amount of time together whatever happens. Take care. 

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Tazio

Sorry to hear that Bob, you’re both in my thoughts at this difficult time. 

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maroongoals

Sorry to hear your news Bob, you and your family are in my thoughts.

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Sharpie

I just had a lovely message from another thoughtful KBer, he suggested I let the tears out, I have shed enough to float a battleship. I was told I had Anticipatory Anxiety, I was thinking too far ahead , so far what I was thinking has turned to happen.

As always I have a story. This one as the woman involved said is eerie  . Yesterday morning I walked home from the hospital and when I got into our wee estate, I met the lady and her husband at 6.30am. They walk early every day. She is a good friend of Esthers and I told her Esther was in the hospital. I told her Esther had a tumor and a stroke, she was shocked. After I left her I realised I had said tumor, and that was wrong I should have said stroke. I didn.t know she had one until about eight hours later. I called Diane last night and told her the update, she remembered clearly me saying tumor and just thought that was amazing.

 

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Tynieman
12 hours ago, Sharpie said:

 

She is to be examined tomorrow by the specialist, but the doctor who spoke to.me also wanted to speak to any children, you get pretty sure they are getting you ready for the negative word. They are going to make arrangements for me to see Esther as an essential relative. You are in my time era, we have both lost a daughter  you would think the man above would have given a wee break and made this more simple without the good news bad days. I can only hope I don't have along time to spend in this hell which looks like getting lonelier. 

You know it gets you panicking cancelling pensions, income tax, selling the house, the one light in all this darkness, many wouldn't believe you could go where I did a football forum, and have so many kind gentlemen give you there support and sympathy that the guys on here have.

 

I’m sorry to hear of your news Bob. My thoughts are with you and your wife at this difficult time 

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Sharpie

Was in the hospital today. Spoke to the Neurologist. He explained that there was a four centimetre tumour on the right front of Esthers brain. Surgery, followed by. chemo and radiation would be included, he cautioned that the surgery could lead to death on the table during this difficult procedure. More talk followed, the bottom line being at our age there was no guarantee of success with any treatment. Esther asked if she could go home, the surgeon said that was an option, with care and some medication about two months would be the length of survival.

We then spoke to another doctor who would admit Esther into Palliative care which would be conducted at home, there would be a nurse who would conduct daily visits, and other support persons. I was told privately that it was not unusual for persons in Esthers condition to slip away at any time.

I am just thankful that I will have her at home, sixty two and a half years creates a bond, when the time comes the two of us will meet up again and will rejoin with our daughter Deborah.

I cannot express the appreciation I have for the support you guys have given me, I apologise to anyone who finds this depressing but as I have said I am sort of isolated here, and nothing like a good Scots ear to cry into.

.

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Georgecowie

Hi Bob. Sorry to hear your news, will be thinking of the two of you. 

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Lemongrab
3 hours ago, Sharpie said:

Was in the hospital today. Spoke to the Neurologist. He explained that there was a four centimetre tumour on the right front of Esthers brain. Surgery, followed by. chemo and radiation would be included, he cautioned that the surgery could lead to death on the table during this difficult procedure. More talk followed, the bottom line being at our age there was no guarantee of success with any treatment. Esther asked if she could go home, the surgeon said that was an option, with care and some medication about two months would be the length of survival.

We then spoke to another doctor who would admit Esther into Palliative care which would be conducted at home, there would be a nurse who would conduct daily visits, and other support persons. I was told privately that it was not unusual for persons in Esthers condition to slip away at any time.

I am just thankful that I will have her at home, sixty two and a half years creates a bond, when the time comes the two of us will meet up again and will rejoin with our daughter Deborah.

I cannot express the appreciation I have for the support you guys have given me, I apologise to anyone who finds this depressing but as I have said I am sort of isolated here, and nothing like a good Scots ear to cry into.

Hi Bob, that must be utterly devastating for you, and I don't even want to think how I would feel if I was in the same situation. I hope it is, however small a consolation, some sort of comfort to you, knowing that Esther will spend whatever time she has left in familiar surroundings, and she'll be able to spend more of that time with you. You mind and take care of yourself bud. 

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AlimOzturk

😟

 

Bob, sorry that you are having to go through this. It sounds like use two have a beautiful relationship with one another and I am glad she is getting home to spend what time she has left at home with you.

 

Please look after yourself. 

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SectionDJambo

Bob,

I'ts very sad to hear of this happening to Esther. May I wish you both my best wishes at a terrible time.

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LeftBack
4 hours ago, Sharpie said:

Was in the hospital today. Spoke to the Neurologist. He explained that there was a four centimetre tumour on the right front of Esthers brain. Surgery, followed by. chemo and radiation would be included, he cautioned that the surgery could lead to death on the table during this difficult procedure. More talk followed, the bottom line being at our age there was no guarantee of success with any treatment. Esther asked if she could go home, the surgeon said that was an option, with care and some medication about two months would be the length of survival.

We then spoke to another doctor who would admit Esther into Palliative care which would be conducted at home, there would be a nurse who would conduct daily visits, and other support persons. I was told privately that it was not unusual for persons in Esthers condition to slip away at any time.

I am just thankful that I will have her at home, sixty two and a half years creates a bond, when the time comes the two of us will meet up again and will rejoin with our daughter Deborah.

I cannot express the appreciation I have for the support you guys have given me, I apologise to anyone who finds this depressing but as I have said I am sort of isolated here, and nothing like a good Scots ear to cry into.

.

Take care. Im sure you will find reserves of strength you didn't realise you had over coming weeks 

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Jambo-Jimbo

Bob, I am so sorry to hear this news.

 

As you say, at least you have Esther at home and I'm certain that's exactly where she'd want to be as well, at home with you.

 

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Normthebarman

Aw ****, Bob. That's really shit to hear. Like really shit. So sorry, Bob. 

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Dawnrazor

Sad sad news Bob, I'm sure everyone's thoughts are with you both.

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scott herbertson
On 28/06/2020 at 02:56, Sharpie said:

So life just likes to kick you in the nuts when  you least expect it. I had become a full time nurse, get up in the middle of the night or her toilet break, .30am can't sleep so get things started for the day. Today was pretty good, we done some things in the house together, she has a nice nap, same with lunch and another wee nap. I am here back in ull JKB mood.  #.30pm we get together in the kitchen do some of our chore,  take here to use the toilet things going good. We are having Pasta for dinner, in the oven at 75 for thirty minutes, the take out stir and return for ten minutes. The wife opens the oven, I am behind slightly to the side to offer support, suddenly she comes flying backwards, hits me I go flying hit my replaced hip on a cupboard and fall to the floor just in time to see Esther bang her head on a cupboard door. I check   I can get up but in some pain, Esther concious but cannot get up, I manage to get to a neighbour, get help, and ultimately an ambulance is called. We were getting on so well, she was telling me regularly I was doing the right things, and then here we are again, lots of help the health service provide a walker, a high toilet seat, a frame to avoid accident for the bed, the only thing we haven't had in three or four weeks is a diagnosis of whats wrong with her, and something to help her at least reduce the symptoms. I am sore at the hip, lonely and not happy.

Well as they used to say on the old Itma show, is everybody happy? well we'll soon put a stop to that.

 

 

God, that's awful Bob. You really do feel helpless when there is no diagnosis/ treatment. 

 

Your mention of  ITMA reminds me of my uncle Doug (ex-RAF) who was in ENSA I think. They had a great sense of humour.  It's good you can dredge your sense humour up when times are so tough. 

 

It's not an easy thing to say or think about but you also need to think of caring for yourself. My brother and I tried to support our stepfather when our mother was terminally ill and I saw what he went through, including losing a lot of weight, not eating properly, not sleeping well.

 

If there is someone who can come to stay with you or regularly visit it would be great if they could come and give you a bit of help, respite and rest it might help you to cope better. I know that sounds a bit pompous and you will want to be directly caring for your wife as much as possible but you will know from your work and long shifts that your performance can suffer if you bear all the load yourself and don't get enough rest.

 

Thoughts are with you in this difficult time.

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Auld Reekin'

Sorry to read that you've had this further bad news Bob. I'm sure Esther will be happy to be back home again with you and will be much better off there - with the daily care and support being proposed - for whatever time you have left together. As others have said, look after yourself too; I hope also that you have good friends or family nearby (a lot nearer than Scotland!) who will be able to offer you support and a sympathetic-ear.

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superjack

Really sorry to hear this Bob.

Esther has been 50% of you for over 60 years now, I really can't begin to understand what you're going through.

Unfortunately I can't offer anything constructive, only my thoughts.

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Tazio

I’ve got no words to add what other people have said Bob more eloquently than I could. So sorry to hear this development. 

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davemclaren

Really sorry to hear this Bob. 

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Bring on the Future

Really sorry to hear of your family's travails Bob, only hope the best for you and Esther. 

 

Please let us know if there's anything we can do to help, even if we are all at a distance. Us Jambos have proven quite useful at the old fundraising if there's anything material that could be provided to help your family's situation in any way!

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Morgan

Bob?

 

Look after yourself and your ‘wee girl’.  Enjoy each moment you have together and cherish them.

 

I have everything crossed for your dear Esther.

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Maple Leaf

@Sharpie

 

Dear Bob,

Although you and I have never met, we have so much in common that I feel like we are old friends.  We both:

-         Were born and raised in Edinburgh

-         Are lifelong Hearts support

-         Served in HM forces

-         Met our life partners 62 ½ years ago (how’s that for coincidence!)

-         Emigrated to Canada

-         Lost an adult daughter under tragic circumstances

-         Recently celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary

When my daughter, Linsey, died there was nothing, nothing that anyone could say or do that would ease the anguish.  I suspect that you are feeling much the same way now about the situation with Esther. However, because of our shared experiences, I’m going to try.

What got me through the worst time in my life was reminiscing. As a family, we’d talk about all the happy times we shared with Linsey, especially all the laughs we had together. We’d relive those times and laugh again.  It’s hard to be sad when you’re laughing.  The pain and deep sense of loss never went away, and still hasn’t, but it became tolerable.

You and Esther have shared a wonderful life together, and will undoubtedly have had many a good laugh over the years. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, eh?  Talk to her about those times.  Make her laugh.  Make yourself laugh. The old saying “Laughter is the best medicine” can apply.

You might be approaching the end of your journey together, but Esther will always be with you.  May the happy memories of your time together bring you peace.

Stay well, my friend.

Ron

 

 

 

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J.T.F.Robertson
2 minutes ago, Maple Leaf said:

@Sharpie

 

Dear Bob,

 

 

Although you and I have never met, we have so much in common that I feel like we are old friends.  We both:

 

 

-         Were born and raised in Edinburgh

 

 

-         Are lifelong Hearts support

 

 

-         Served in HM forces

 

 

-         Met our life partners 62 ½ years ago (how’s that for coincidence!)

 

 

-         Emigrated to Canada

 

 

-         Lost an adult daughter under tragic circumstances

 

 

-         Recently celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary

 

 

When my daughter, Linsey, died there was nothing, nothing that anyone could say or do that would ease the anguish.  I suspect that you are feeling much the same way now about the situation with Esther. However, because of our shared experiences, I’m going to try.

 

 

What got me through the worst time in my life was reminiscing. As a family, we’d talk about all the happy times we shared with Linsey, especially all the laughs we had together. We’d relive those times and laugh again.  It’s hard to be sad when you’re laughing.  The pain and deep sense of loss never went away, and still hasn’t, but it became tolerable.

 

 

You and Esther have shared a wonderful life together, and will undoubtedly have had many a good laugh over the years. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, eh?  Talk to her about those times.  Make her laugh.  Make yourself laugh. The old saying “Laughter is the best medicine” can apply.

 

 

You might be approaching the end of your journey together, but Esther will always be with you.  May the happy memories of your time together bring you peace.

 

 

Stay well, my friend.

 

 

Ron

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bob, there's no way I can express my thoughts as well as Ron has, above.

For what it's worth, be assured his sentiments equal mine. I only wish I had more to offer.

 

 

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132goals1958
9 hours ago, Jambo-Jimbo said:

Bob, I am so sorry to hear this news.

 

As you say, at least you have Esther at home and I'm certain that's exactly where she'd want to be as well, at home with you.

 

 

I lost my wife of 54 years just over 5 weeks ago. She was truly a beautiful person both inside and out. I am devastated and with this constant black cloud over my head I am the last person right now to give Bob advice, although my heart goes out to him. She only spent her final two days in hospital and despite the lockdown the staff allowed me and one member of the family to be with her right through to the end. She had not been well for some time but I am comforted that she was able to stay at home with me and only needed a care package for the last 2 weeks of her life.

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Jambo-Jimbo
28 minutes ago, 132goals1958 said:

 

I lost my wife of 54 years just over 5 weeks ago. She was truly a beautiful person both inside and out. I am devastated and with this constant black cloud over my head I am the last person right now to give Bob advice, although my heart goes out to him. She only spent her final two days in hospital and despite the lockdown the staff allowed me and one member of the family to be with her right through to the end. She had not been well for some time but I am comforted that she was able to stay at home with me and only needed a care package for the last 2 weeks of her life.

 

I'm so sorry to hear this, but at least as you say, you both got to spend time with each other right to the end.

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Carl Fredrickson

I am sitting here with a tear running down my cheek reading this. 

 

132goals1958 & Bob, it must be special to have spent and shared your life with the woman you love. All those years and so many memories. It is a blessing to find someone to love and to have so much time together will be a rare thing for my and future generations. 

 

I hope that the time that Esther and you have at home will provide more happy memories for you. Take care Bob. 

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Sharpie
1 hour ago, 132goals1958 said:

 

I lost my wife of 54 years just over 5 weeks ago. She was truly a beautiful person both inside and out. I am devastated and with this constant black cloud over my head I am the last person right now to give Bob advice, although my heart goes out to him. She only spent her final two days in hospital and despite the lockdown the staff allowed me and one member of the family to be with her right through to the end. She had not been well for some time but I am comforted that she was able to stay at home with me and only needed a care package for the last 2 weeks of her life.

 You have my sympathies, not much consolation but at least we know we are not alone and someone else understands and shares your feelings. Thanks very much for what must have been a difficult write.

 

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