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rudi must stay

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Cruyff

I'll tell you what happens. 

 

Plot,

 

Gets a mission, goes into a casino or bar, asks for a Martini "shaken not stirred", meets the lassie that he shags at the end by introducing himself, "names bond, James Bond".

 

Spies on bad guy who will be a bit eccentric or will have something mentally wrong with him.

 

He gets found out, it goes tits up, he gets back into his Aston Martin, has a massive car chase, presses loads a buttons and the car does some cool tricks. He escapes either by plunging into the water and his car becoming a submarine or flying of the edge of a cliff and his car becomes a plane. 

 

Goes back to HQ, tries out some new gadgets, gets a row from Q, flirts with the secretary.

 

Hunts down the bad guy again, gets captured or they have a Mexican stand off where they say some clichéd bullshit. Loads of shit blows up, he kills the bad guy, shags the bird he met at the bar. 

 

Credits roll. 

 

Saved you about £8 quid 👍 

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Mikey1874

Disappointed it's not a new 6% savings deal. 

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Irufushi
10 minutes ago, Cruyff said:

I'll tell you what happens. 

 

Plot,

 

Gets a mission, goes into a casino or bar, asks for a Martini "shaken not stirred", meets the lassie that he shags at the end by introducing himself, "names bond, James Bond".

 

Spies on bad guy who will be a bit eccentric or will have something mentally wrong with him.

 

He gets found out, it goes tits up, he gets back into his Aston Martin, has a massive car chase, presses loads a buttons and the car does some cool tricks. He escapes either by plunging into the water and his car becoming a submarine or flying of the edge of a cliff and his car becomes a plane. 

 

Goes back to HQ, tries out some new gadgets, gets a row from Q, flirts with the secretary.

 

Hunts down the bad guy again, gets captured or they have a Mexican stand off where they say some clichéd bullshit. Loads of shit blows up, he kills the bad guy, shags the bird he met at the bar. 

 

Credits roll. 

 

Saved you about £8 quid 👍 


pretty much this 😂

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Morgan
22 minutes ago, Cruyff said:

I'll tell you what happens. 

 

Plot,

 

Gets a mission, goes into a casino or bar, asks for a Martini "shaken not stirred", meets the lassie that he shags at the end by introducing himself, "names bond, James Bond".

 

Spies on bad guy who will be a bit eccentric or will have something mentally wrong with him.

 

He gets found out, it goes tits up, he gets back into his Aston Martin, has a massive car chase, presses loads a buttons and the car does some cool tricks. He escapes either by plunging into the water and his car becoming a submarine or flying of the edge of a cliff and his car becomes a plane. 

 

Goes back to HQ, tries out some new gadgets, gets a row from Q, flirts with the secretary.

 

Hunts down the bad guy again, gets captured or they have a Mexican stand off where they say some clichéd bullshit. Loads of shit blows up, he kills the bad guy, shags the bird he met at the bar. 

 

Credits roll. 

 

Saved you about £8 quid 👍 

:rofl: 

 

In a nutshell.

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Ribble
44 minutes ago, Cruyff said:

I'll tell you what happens. 

 

Plot,

 

Gets a mission, goes into a casino or bar, asks for a Martini "shaken not stirred", meets the lassie that he shags at the end by introducing himself, "names bond, James Bond".

 

Spies on bad guy who will be a bit eccentric or will have something mentally wrong with him.

 

He gets found out, it goes tits up, he gets back into his Aston Martin, has a massive car chase, presses loads a buttons and the car does some cool tricks. He escapes either by plunging into the water and his car becoming a submarine or flying of the edge of a cliff and his car becomes a plane. 

 

Goes back to HQ, tries out some new gadgets, gets a row from Q, flirts with the secretary.

 

Hunts down the bad guy again, gets captured or they have a Mexican stand off where they say some clichéd bullshit. Loads of shit blows up, he kills the bad guy, shags the bird he met at the bar. 

 

Credits roll. 

 

Saved you about £8 quid 👍 

 

Only thing missing is that lassie in casino will invariably be linked to baddie and try to kill him, if she doesn't then there will be a lassie no2 that he humps before she trys to kill him 

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Cruyff
29 minutes ago, Ribble said:

 

Only thing missing is that lassie in casino will invariably be linked to baddie and try to kill him, if she doesn't then there will be a lassie no2 that he humps before she trys to kill him 

:spoton:guaranteed. 

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trotter
1 hour ago, Cruyff said:

I'll tell you what happens. 

 

Plot,

 

Gets a mission, goes into a casino or bar, asks for a Martini "shaken not stirred", meets the lassie that he shags at the end by introducing himself, "names bond, James Bond".

 

Spies on bad guy who will be a bit eccentric or will have something mentally wrong with him.

 

He gets found out, it goes tits up, he gets back into his Aston Martin, has a massive car chase, presses loads a buttons and the car does some cool tricks. He escapes either by plunging into the water and his car becoming a submarine or flying of the edge of a cliff and his car becomes a plane. 

 

Goes back to HQ, tries out some new gadgets, gets a row from Q, flirts with the secretary.

 

Hunts down the bad guy again, gets captured or they have a Mexican stand off where they say some clichéd bullshit. Loads of shit blows up, he kills the bad guy, shags the bird he met at the bar. 

 

Credits roll. 

 

Saved you about £8 quid 👍 

Fair play, 

 

But it's a winning formula that's stood the test of time...

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The Real Maroonblood
1 hour ago, Cruyff said:

I'll tell you what happens. 

 

Plot,

 

Gets a mission, goes into a casino or bar, asks for a Martini "shaken not stirred", meets the lassie that he shags at the end by introducing himself, "names bond, James Bond".

 

Spies on bad guy who will be a bit eccentric or will have something mentally wrong with him.

 

He gets found out, it goes tits up, he gets back into his Aston Martin, has a massive car chase, presses loads a buttons and the car does some cool tricks. He escapes either by plunging into the water and his car becoming a submarine or flying of the edge of a cliff and his car becomes a plane. 

 

Goes back to HQ, tries out some new gadgets, gets a row from Q, flirts with the secretary.

 

Hunts down the bad guy again, gets captured or they have a Mexican stand off where they say some clichéd bullshit. Loads of shit blows up, he kills the bad guy, shags the bird he met at the bar. 

 

Credits roll. 

 

Saved you about £8 quid 👍 

Boooooooo!

:P

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Madjambo21

Might be controversial but apart from casino royal I think they have been guff.

Skyfall wash overrated and the bad guy (Javier Bardem) was pish.

John Wick would F*#k bond up.

Wick films are more exciting if not unbelievably silly.

 

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ri Alban
31 minutes ago, Madjambo21 said:

Might be controversial but apart from casino royal I think they have been guff.

Skyfall wash overrated and the bad guy (Javier Bardem) was pish.

John Wick would F*#k bond up.

Wick films are more exciting if not unbelievably silly.

 

John McCLane would feck them all up. :D

Edited by ri Alban

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I P Knightley
2 hours ago, Cruyff said:

I'll tell you what happens. 

 

Plot,

 

Gets a mission, goes into a casino or bar, asks for a Martini "shaken not stirred", meets the lassie that he shags at the end by introducing himself, "names bond, James Bond".

 

Spies on bad guy who will be a bit eccentric or will have something mentally wrong with him.

 

He gets found out, it goes tits up, he gets back into his Aston Martin, has a massive car chase, presses loads a buttons and the car does some cool tricks. He escapes either by plunging into the water and his car becoming a submarine or flying of the edge of a cliff and his car becomes a plane. 

 

Goes back to HQ, tries out some new gadgets, gets a row from Q, flirts with the secretary.

 

Hunts down the bad guy again, gets captured or they have a Mexican stand off where they say some clichéd bullshit. Loads of shit blows up, he kills the bad guy, shags the bird he met at the bar. 

 

Credits roll. 

 

Saved you about £8 quid 👍 

Could you not have done the decent thing and put that in a spoiler bar? Some of us love the tension and surprise of a Bond movie. 

 

They have to set the first few scenes in some exotic location that very few of us would ever have gone to on our holidays. Something like Sierra Leone or up a Himalya.

Surely there's a bursds who dies part way through, for whom Bond seeks vengeance?

Recent films have wound their neck in on the gadgets in the Aston Martin, or his pen, or the buttons on his jacket, etc. He's got to be more Jason Bourne. 

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WoolfordsHearts
1 hour ago, Madjambo21 said:

Might be controversial but apart from casino royal I think they have been guff.

Skyfall wash overrated and the bad guy (Javier Bardem) was pish.

John Wick would F*#k bond up.

Wick films are more exciting if not unbelievably silly.

 

Yesshhhhh,yeshhhhh it wash.👍

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Cruyff
2 hours ago, trotter said:

Fair play, 

 

But it's a winning formula that's stood the test of time...

True. I always see it at some point. Sometimes they are a decent watch. 

2 hours ago, The Real Maroonblood said:

Boooooooo!

:P

Haha :rolleyes:

1 hour ago, I P Knightley said:

Could you not have done the decent thing and put that in a spoiler bar? Some of us love the tension and surprise of a Bond movie. 

 

They have to set the first few scenes in some exotic location that very few of us would ever have gone to on our holidays. Something like Sierra Leone or up a Himalya.

Surely there's a bursds who dies part way through, for whom Bond seeks vengeance?

Recent films have wound their neck in on the gadgets in the Aston Martin, or his pen, or the buttons on his jacket, etc. He's got to be more Jason Bourne. 

:laugh: absolutely.  I forgot all the product placement as well. No doubt it will be a Tag Heuer watch that he sets off his chewing gum plastic explosive with. 

 

They wound it in a bit but he's still kicking around wearing a tuxedo and driving an Aston Martin. 

 

The Burd has always got something to do with the baddie, or is a double agent or is held hostage by the bad guy. She will either die, try to kill him or at first dislike like him before he saves her and she falls madly in love with him. 

 

Since this is Daniel Craig's last one, surely they could let him die in the end, a horrie death and then see his replacement walk in, given his number and identity for the next series. Mix it up a bit. 

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Tazio
1 hour ago, Cruyff said:

 

:laugh: absolutely.  I forgot all the product placement as well. No doubt it will be a Tag Heuer watch that he sets off his chewing gum plastic explosive with. 

 

It’s actually an Omega and you can buy the limited edition already. 

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IronJambo
28 minutes ago, Tazio said:

It’s actually an Omega and you can buy the limited edition already. 

Aye, as always.  Skyfall probably being the only decent one. New ones rotten and a shocker of a price.

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Mikey1874

The last one was certainly played by numbers with repeats of incidents from previous films. Really disappointing.

 

Still live in hope. 

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rudi must stay
41 minutes ago, Mikey1874 said:

The last one was certainly played by numbers with repeats of incidents from previous films. Really disappointing.

 

Still live in hope. 

 

Here's a tip with films

 

Visuals are everything 

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rudi must stay
7 hours ago, Cruyff said:

I'll tell you what happens. 

 

Plot,

 

Gets a mission, goes into a casino or bar, asks for a Martini "shaken not stirred", meets the lassie that he shags at the end by introducing himself, "names bond, James Bond".

 

Spies on bad guy who will be a bit eccentric or will have something mentally wrong with him.

 

He gets found out, it goes tits up, he gets back into his Aston Martin, has a massive car chase, presses loads a buttons and the car does some cool tricks. He escapes either by plunging into the water and his car becoming a submarine or flying of the edge of a cliff and his car becomes a plane. 

 

Goes back to HQ, tries out some new gadgets, gets a row from Q, flirts with the secretary.

 

Hunts down the bad guy again, gets captured or they have a Mexican stand off where they say some clichéd bullshit. Loads of shit blows up, he kills the bad guy, shags the bird he met at the bar. 

 

Credits roll. 

 

Saved you about £8 quid 👍 

 

Haven't saved me nothing

 

Cinema card

Edited by rudi must stay
Saved myself some embarrasment

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John Findlay

My eldest so is in this. Did his scene(s) in Italy last year.

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been here before

Jimmy Bond is shite.

 

This isnt though...

 

 

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Mikey1874

 

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superjack

Ever since Daniel Craig took on the roll, I’ve went off the bond films, he just doesn’t suit the character.

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IronJambo
13 minutes ago, superjack said:

Ever since Daniel Craig took on the roll, I’ve went off the bond films, he just doesn’t suit the character.

He doesn't possess the elegance or charm of a decent Bond. He's more SAS than MI6 and suits a pint of Stella better than a martini.

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Marvin
On 03/02/2020 at 14:14, Cruyff said:

I'll tell you what happens. 

 

Plot,

 

Gets a mission, goes into a casino or bar, asks for a Martini "shaken not stirred", meets the lassie that he shags at the end by introducing himself, "names bond, James Bond".

 

Spies on bad guy who will be a bit eccentric or will have something mentally wrong with him.

 

He gets found out, it goes tits up, he gets back into his Aston Martin, has a massive car chase, presses loads a buttons and the car does some cool tricks. He escapes either by plunging into the water and his car becoming a submarine or flying of the edge of a cliff and his car becomes a plane. 

 

Goes back to HQ, tries out some new gadgets, gets a row from Q, flirts with the secretary.

 

Hunts down the bad guy again, gets captured or they have a Mexican stand off where they say some clichéd bullshit. Loads of shit blows up, he kills the bad guy, shags the bird he met at the bar. 

 

Credits roll. 

 

Saved you about £8 quid 👍 

 

Saved me £12 thanks :thumbsup:

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superjack
2 hours ago, IronJambo said:

He doesn't possess the elegance or charm of a decent Bond. He's more SAS than MI6 and suits a pint of Stella better than a martini.

Totally agree, suits a proper rough hardman role, not the suave, sophisticated james bond.

I think they'll struggle to get anyone as good as what Brosnan was.

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IronJambo
1 hour ago, superjack said:

Totally agree, suits a proper rough hardman role, not the suave, sophisticated james bond.

I think they'll struggle to get anyone as good as what Brosnan was.

Boom! Pierce was awesome, him and Roger Moore totally owned it.

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Bridge of Djoum

Found an old playlist on my iPhone. 1st song...

 

Lotus Eaters...” First Picture of You” 

 

Absolute belter, now on it’s 5th play this evening. 

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Bridge of Djoum
4 hours ago, IronJambo said:

He doesn't possess the elegance or charm of a decent Bond. He's more SAS than MI6 and suits a pint of Stella better than a martini.

Was on the piss with an ex regiment mate on my last trip to Edinburgh... he drank Mojitos all night. 

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John Findlay

Read the books. You will see that Daniel Craig, is an excellent Bond.

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Herbert
7 hours ago, Bridge of Djoum said:

Was on the piss with an ex regiment mate on my last trip to Edinburgh... he drank Mojitos all night. 

 

 

Mojitos are good, Infact any cocktail is better than a pint and they get you ****ed up.

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superjack
1 hour ago, John Findlay said:

Read the books. You will see that Daniel Craig, is an excellent Bond.

He does match the book character but not the way he has previously been portrayed on film. This is, in my opinion, the reason the film franchise has been so successful. There are plenty of films where the main spy is a gruff hardman, that's why the bond films are different. All my opinion of course.

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vegas-voss
2 minutes ago, superjack said:

He does match the book character but not the way he has previously been portrayed on film. This is, in my opinion, the reason the film franchise has been so successful. There are plenty of films where the main spy is a gruff hardman, that's why the bond films are different. All my opinion of course.

The franchise was on the decline until Craig came on board.Bronson ( good Bond meh movies ) films where nonsense at least Moore's nonsense were fun.Struggle to think of anyone that can really take over from Craig just now but just like all of them they let them run too long and Bond becomes too old.

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IronJambo
10 hours ago, Bridge of Djoum said:

Was on the piss with an ex regiment mate on my last trip to Edinburgh... he drank Mojitos all night. 

He didn't drink it with a tux on though. He'd be a cheeky vimpto man as well. It's not nearly as sophisticated a drink as vodka and vermouth either.

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superjack
1 hour ago, vegas-voss said:

The franchise was on the decline until Craig came on board.Bronson ( good Bond meh movies ) films where nonsense at least Moore's nonsense were fun.Struggle to think of anyone that can really take over from Craig just now but just like all of them they let them run too long and Bond becomes too old.

I think Tom hardy would make a great bond.

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vegas-voss
38 minutes ago, superjack said:

I think Tom hardy would make a great bond.

They don't really like going for huge established stars though

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Cade

Jason Bourne (and to a lesser extent Nolan's Batman) made James Bond irrelevant.

The Bourne films exposed Bond as the ludicrous farce it was and it is no accident that Daniel Craig's Bond has been nothing but a poor copy of Jason Bourne.

 

In the meantime, the Mission Impossible films have taken up the "silly but entertaining" spot Bond used to.

 

Bond doesn't know what it wants to be any more and it shows.

Skyfaaaauuul was good though.

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Samuel Camazzola
4 hours ago, superjack said:

I think Tom hardy would make a great bond.

Luke Evans could be a good shout. He can sing too if they want to give 007 a new skill. 

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Gershwin

Usually can't be ****ed with Bond but I loved what Cary Fukunaga did with the first series of True Detective so I'll probably check this out.

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Seymour M Hersh

Well I like the look of the new film. Poo to all the naysayers! 

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Governor Tarkin

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Jamhammer
On 03/02/2020 at 14:14, Cruyff said:

I'll tell you what happens. 

 

Plot,

 

Gets a mission, goes into a casino or bar, asks for a Martini "shaken not stirred", meets the lassie that he shags at the end by introducing himself, "names bond, James Bond".

 

Spies on bad guy who will be a bit eccentric or will have something mentally wrong with him.

 

He gets found out, it goes tits up, he gets back into his Aston Martin, has a massive car chase, presses loads a buttons and the car does some cool tricks. He escapes either by plunging into the water and his car becoming a submarine or flying of the edge of a cliff and his car becomes a plane. 

 

Goes back to HQ, tries out some new gadgets, gets a row from Q, flirts with the secretary.

 

Hunts down the bad guy again, gets captured or they have a Mexican stand off where they say some clichéd bullshit. Loads of shit blows up, he kills the bad guy, shags the bird he met at the bar. 

 

Credits roll. 

 

Saved you about £8 quid 👍 

Not been to the pictures for 10 years type post IMO

Feckin popcorn will cost you £8 

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martoon

Can't have a Bond thread without Basildon. 

 

russ-abbot-dressed-as-james-bond-AKA2RW.thumb.jpg.2777b84a27f0535ee139f518da3b3a6a.jpg

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ri Alban

 

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Greedy Jambo

Would i be right in thinking that the people that get excited for a new bond are the same folk that get excited for a new season of dr who?

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obua
21 minutes ago, Greedy Jambo said:

Would i be right in thinking that the people that get excited for a new bond are the same folk that get excited for a new season of dr who?

And queue overnight when a new iPhone goes on sale.

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Greedy Jambo
11 minutes ago, obua said:

And queue overnight when a new iPhone goes on sale.

 

Straight in the mile long queue when McDonalds opened back up? or is that a new thread?

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EH11_2NL
On 03/02/2020 at 09:14, Cruyff said:

I'll tell you what happens. 

 

Plot,

 

Gets a mission, goes into a casino or bar, asks for a Martini "shaken not stirred", meets the lassie that he shags at the end by introducing himself, "names bond, James Bond".

 

Spies on bad guy who will be a bit eccentric or will have something mentally wrong with him.

 

He gets found out, it goes tits up, he gets back into his Aston Martin, has a massive car chase, presses loads a buttons and the car does some cool tricks. He escapes either by plunging into the water and his car becoming a submarine or flying of the edge of a cliff and his car becomes a plane. 

 

Goes back to HQ, tries out some new gadgets, gets a row from Q, flirts with the secretary.

 

Hunts down the bad guy again, gets captured or they have a Mexican stand off where they say some clichéd bullshit. Loads of shit blows up, he kills the bad guy, shags the bird he met at the bar. 

 

Credits roll. 

 

Saved you about £8 quid 👍 

8 quid??? When were you last at the pictures??? Try doublng that! And mortgage for a hot dog! But the rest is spot on.

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