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hueyview

Funny memories at Tynecastle

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hueyview

Just to lift the spirit before a Hearts win in Saturday......

 

I have been going to football for over 40 years...  Done the stewarding in early 1990s and again around ten years later.

 

I can remember doing a shift in the old main stand, with an elderly club steward. Who kept saying "boil yet heid" to folk he fell out with...

 

On one of the first nights in the early 90s, when football was delayed to 8pm for  Satellite TV. Hearts were playing a European' game.  A few folk were kicking about for well over half an hour.

 

One lad who was in early, in and out of the stand, talking to stewards, visiting the toilet.  The stand  where he was situated above the Directors box filled up quickly ,

 

Just before halftime a lady approached, in a state, very distressed, and in a fur coat, saying that the boy behind her was possible urinating on her lower coat...

On investigation, he had smuggled a case of Export beer in, swiged a beer,  put the half empty can back, swigged another. Drenched the stand.  Done the same again.....

 

God knows how he got a full case in...

 

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martoon

Hibs. 

 

Many times. 

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Zaba

Once watched Calum Elliot absolute smash a shot into a woman’s face during the warm up at the Gorgie end.

 

Neil McCann grabbed him and told him to go and apologise, so he jumped the gate and climbed up about 12 rows to make sure she was ok, before going back to continue his warm up. 

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Jasonauskas

Lennon sitting on his arse in a rather confused state in front of the main stand was fun and the Andy Walker sing song was also a wee gem.

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farin

JJ getting sent off as manager & climbing into SecN then joining in with the fans singing hearts song was both funny & outstanding at the same time. 😎

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Hearts007

Willie Johnston for us walking behind linesman with one hand on hip and the other in air with wrist bent

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martoon

Frank McGarvey's attempt to approach the shed to take a corner was funny. December 1983, iirc. 

 

 

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We_are_the_Hearts
1 minute ago, martoon said:

Frank McGarvey's attempt to approach the shed to take a corner was funny. December 1983, iirc. 

 

 

Would get banned for that now

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We_are_the_Hearts
7 minutes ago, Hearts007 said:

Willie Johnston for us walking behind linesman with one hand on hip and the other in air with wrist bent

Disciplined for that now

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We_are_the_Hearts
35 minutes ago, Jasonauskas said:

Lennon sitting on his arse in a rather confused state in front of the main stand was fun and the Andy Walker sing song was also a wee gem.

Was that not a bit abusive? 

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lsimp77

Neil Lennon getting hit with a coin in the chest while wearing a padded jacket and going down holding his face. 

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Jasonauskas
35 minutes ago, We_are_the_Hearts said:

Was that not a bit abusive? 

As a player, not as a manager

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bairdy

Was in the old enclosure back in the yo yo' years 😖

We were playing Dumbarton, and were our usual brutal self, getting beat. There were a hanful of Dumbarton supporters standing a few yards along from us.

Dumbarton scored again and their supporters were celebrating, when we heard a voice shouting 'DIRTY B+++++D ! One of the Dumbarton supporters was glaring up at the stand. With a pie dripping down his face !

Even his own mates were wetting themselves ! 😄

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Bking9

Juwon oshinawa attempt at a long throw in. He Walks backwards down the stairs (or is there a ramp or something?) below the police box, sprints up the stairs releases the ball which goes 30ft into the air and doesn't reach the 18 yard box. 

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Salad Fingers

The woman walking the behind the goals during the warm up when the school end terracing had been demolished being smacked square in the face by a wayward shot and decking it. Half the Wheatfield went "WAAAAAYYYYYYY" then "ooooooohhhhh" when she fell to the ground.  I think she was alright.  She definitely stood up. 

 

My dad going arse over tit on the concourse of the newly built Roseburn due to a combination of new brogues, wet weather and a very smooth surface and then being questioned by the police about how much he had drank. 

 

Fat Sally as Hearty Harry was pretty funny.  I like Sally so didn't mind so much but, strangely, some folk were livid. 

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Chong

Can any of the elder bunch recall Brian Whittaker smashing a shot straight into the pie stand on the McLeod St terracing? Unsure if this actually happened or I dreamt it.

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Robbo-Jambo

I remember being at a game in the old enclosure under the main stand when the high fences were built to stop folk going on the pitch. 

 

At the final while a guy was really ripping into Kenny Black, cue Gary Mackay charging at the fence trying to climb up it and screaming at the guy for the abuse at his pal Kenny. 

 

He only got about half way up then had to go back down while people were staring at him like he was a totally loony. 

 

He tore off down the tunnel in an even angrier mood because he couldnt get to the top of said fence. 

 

Folk were in hysterics leaving the ground. 

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Robbo-Jambo
5 minutes ago, Chong said:

Can any of the elder bunch recall Brian Whittaker smashing a shot straight into the pie stand on the McLeod St terracing? Unsure if this actually happened or I dreamt it.

He certainly did. 

 

Also the day Roger totally emptied Albert Kidd on the touchline a couple of years after Dens and ran away laughing with the crowd celebrating like we had scored. 😄

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Boof
7 minutes ago, Chong said:

Can any of the elder bunch recall Brian Whittaker smashing a shot straight into the pie stand on the McLeod St terracing? Unsure if this actually happened or I dreamt it.

 

I recall Iain Jardine sending one into the pie stand on the Wheatfield side. I had just recently graduated from the plastic seats to the Shed proper.

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Morgan

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HillmanHearts

Did Eamon Bannon not hit a penalty that cleared the whole ground and ended up in the school playground ?

Or is my memory exaggerating that ?

 

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Robbo-Jambo
32 minutes ago, HillmanHearts said:

Did Eamon Bannon not hit a penalty that cleared the whole ground and ended up in the school playground ?

Or is my memory exaggerating that ?

 

Yip against Rangers ☹️

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Carl Fredrickson

The celebrations on and off the field when Jose Quitongo scaffed an injury time equaliser against the great unwashed from the east end of Glasgow. I was in the family section in the Gorgie Road stand and a guy a few rows in front was waving his crutches about.

The interview with Jackie McNamara after the game was priceless too. 

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hueyview

In the 80s, in the Cowshed. When you walked round the back, at the corner, there was an outdoor urinal behind a waist high wall......  Well, when the wind was up....  You were covered in it. One day the wall also collapsed.......  :)

 

 

 

 

 

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BarneyBattles

Davie Cooper taking a corner at the shed and getting hit by a bag of chips was rather amusing.

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Jamhammer

We were playing a lower league team in a cup tie and one of their defenders scored an OG.

Crowd gets fired in with the usual “Peeeeennnisssss”! Stops rather suddenly and we realised one of our group had been, erroneously chanting “He missed” for years 😀

Also, strictly personal to me I used to take my wee brother in law to games when he was 13/14. He was a very quiet laddie, shy never really spoke in those days and EVERY game, without fail one of my mates, when there was a lull in proceedings would shout at him “FFS Jim shut up”!

I was once coming out of the black hole of Calcutta toilets in the school end and they were miles away and still heard it

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millerjames398
4 hours ago, farin said:

JJ getting sent off as manager & climbing into SecN then joining in with the fans singing hearts song was both funny & outstanding at the same time. 😎

I forgot all about that night, he really showed he was a punter like us, who was blessed to both play and manage the club he loved,,priceless 👍🏼🇱🇻

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FruitJuice
2 hours ago, HillmanHearts said:

Did Eamon Bannon not hit a penalty that cleared the whole ground and ended up in the school playground ?

Or is my memory exaggerating that ?

 

I thought he also done it against Dundee United in a league cup game in 77/78  

 

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farin
8 minutes ago, millerjames398 said:

I forgot all about that night, he really showed he was a punter like us, who was blessed to both play and manage the club he loved,,priceless 👍🏼🇱🇻

 

Found a short clip of it. 😄 

 

 

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millerjames398

My mate going arse over tit on the wheafield stairs at G, before the lge cup group game v east fife a couple seasons ago, i remember lookin up the stairs waitin for him to get to the bottom, turned for a split second looked back and no sign of my mate, but a bit of a crowd huddled, on closer inspection they were crowded round my mate seein if he was ok , the look on his face of embarrassment and pain was magical, he cracked his iPhone screen to top it off as well, and the bruise on his back was a topper, i havent laughed as much since..great friend iam i know😂🇱🇻

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millerjames398
1 minute ago, farin said:

 

Found a short clip of it. 😄 

 

 

Superb👍🏼🇱🇻

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FruitJuice

6 Two with willie pettigrew. 

One he where he rounded the keeper a d with just an empty net to beat and tripped.

The other won we shouldn't  have laughed at, was when he came back to play against us for Morton in a cup game.  He came on as a substitute late in the game with us all laughing at him, then for him to score a last minute winner.  

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We_are_the_Hearts
1 hour ago, Carl Fredrickson said:

The celebrations on and off the field when Jose Quitongo scaffed an injury time equaliser against the great unwashed from the east end of Glasgow. I was in the family section in the Gorgie Road stand and a guy a few rows in front was waving his crutches about.

The interview with Jackie McNamara after the game was priceless too. 

Pitch invasion and the polis man getting knocked down. We stole a point that day

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Smith's right boot

 

At a game in tbe terracing, behind the goal during a warm up. 

 

Speaking to my mate but he turned his back to look away from the pitch I was facing the pitch. 

 

We were chatting, ball came in from an angle melted him, taken him clean out, bovril and pie all over the place him on his arse. 

😂😂😂

 

On a non pc note, a steward had a fit before kick off, was seeing it out on the floor as others checked on him and  let it pass. 

 

Someone shouted  from the top. 

" calm down mate, we've not even scored yet" 

 

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Smith's right boot
43 minutes ago, We_are_the_Hearts said:

Pitch invasion and the polis man getting knocked down. We stole a point that day

 

 

The police man falling on the video is comedy gold. 

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Absolute Scenes
1 minute ago, Smith's right boot said:

 

At a game in tbe terracing, behind the goal during a warm up. 

 

Speaking to my mate but he turned his back to look away from the pitch I was facing the pitch. 

 

We were chatting, ball came in from an angle melted him, taken him clean out, bovril and pie all over the place him on his arse. 

😂😂😂

 

On a non pc note, a steward had a fit before kick off, was seeing it out on the floor as others checked on him and  let it pass. 

 

Someone shouted  from the top. 

" calm down mate, we've not even scored yet" 

 

I really shouldn’t be laughing 😂😂

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Smith's right boot
3 minutes ago, Absolute Scenes said:

I really shouldn’t be laughing 😂😂

 

 

Sticks out in my memory. 🙄

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Maroon Sailor
5 hours ago, martoon said:

Frank McGarvey's attempt to approach the shed to take a corner was funny. December 1983, iirc. 

 

 

 

2 hours ago, BarneyBattles said:

Davie Cooper taking a corner at the shed and getting hit by a bag of chips was rather amusing.

 

Was there a more hostile place in Scottish football for an opposition player to take a corner than the shed at Tynecastle ?

 

It was brutal at times, especially when Mark Walters tried to go over and take a corner

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SectionDJambo
6 hours ago, Hearts007 said:

Willie Johnston for us walking behind linesman with one hand on hip and the other in air with wrist bent

Seemingly, the linesman asked Willie to “walk this way”. 

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Rab Mac52
Quote

 

Back in the 70’s at a Hearts v Aberdeen game, Gorgie Road end with the referee giving everything against us and receiving a large dose of verbals. My mate Tam decided to pitch in with,

 

”Referee. The best part of you ran down your mother’s legs the day you were born.”

 

Unfortunately this tirade coincided with a lull in the general abuse and just about everyone in the ground heard it. Cue some laughs but a barrowload of groans.

Edited by Rab Mac52
Punctuation

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Cruyff Turn

Lennon falling on his arse and Bednár scoring.

 

I’m sure it was a pre season friendly v Fulham at Tynie, was pretty empty and the ball went out for a throw, it was pretty silent and one of our supporters shouted, at John Rowbotham “F#@k off Rowbotham you spineless Knut.” to the amusement of everyone including John himself. 

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ramrod

I've got one that probably no one else will find funny but tickled me at the time . 

We had seats directly behind the corporate seats in the Gorgie Stand and hospitality punters were always coming in late after half time and blocking people's view . 

During one particularly bad game one guy shouted from behind me " SIT DOWN YA PIE MUMCHIN [email protected]@DS ! " .......

Quality Bantz 😆

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Seymour M Hersh

Back in the 80's one of the old guys I used to stand with responded to a, shall we say, hearty challenge by our player on and opposition player. He yelled that's it Hearts "give it the beef, that what it's all about the ****ing beef"! He sadly passed now but I still chuckle when I think of that. 

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Morgan
2 hours ago, Smith's right boot said:

 

 

 

On a non pc note, a steward had a fit before kick off, was seeing it out on the floor as others checked on him and  let it pass. 

 

Someone shouted  from the top. 

" calm down mate, we've not even scored yet" 

 

Shouldnae laugh, but.....

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Stephen Muddie
52 minutes ago, Rab Mac52 said:

Back in the 70’s at a Hearts v Aberdeen game, Gorgie Road end with the referee giving everything against us and receiving a large dose of verbals. My mate Tam decided to pitch in with,

 

”Referee. The best part of you ran down your mother’s legs the day you were born.”

 

Unfortunately this tirade coincided with a lull in the general abuse and just about everyone in the ground heard it. Cue some laughs but a barrowload of groans.

Instant baby. Feck.... Not even enough time to klame 4 tha benifets

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Deevers

Jimmy Bone remonstrating with the referee following a marginal off side decision that went against him and a voice booming out from the south enclosure shouting “it wisnae you that was offside Jimmy it was your big fat fecking belly”.  

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Ricardo Shillyshally
6 hours ago, Chong said:

Can any of the elder bunch recall Brian Whittaker smashing a shot straight into the pie stand on the McLeod St terracing? Unsure if this actually happened or I dreamt it.

I remember him standing near the half way line having a cheeky wee pull on a what appeared to  be a semi  

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hueyview

Whenever Danny McGrain played his name was amended to Fann* McGrain by the Hearts home support...

This unfortunately was true when he was seated with Frank McGarvey, behind the dignitaries in the main stand....   He took it in good part....   :)

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Swanny17

About 32 years ago, the fans were doing to twirly. I was too wee to twirl my scarf so I twirled my woolly hat instead. Cue the Pom Pom coming off and hitting an older gentleman square in the puss. Was very amusing at the time. 😬

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Swanny17

I also remember a Hibs game at Tynie. Some fella next to us giving it laldy and shouts “get up Gareth Evans you wee English c u next....”

 

Someone kindly informed him Evans was Welsh to which he shouted “get up Evans you wee Welsh English c u next....”

 

He’d probably be banned nowadays. 🤔

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