Joel Pereira Update

[OTT]

A goalkeeper so bad that he virtually single handed my relegated us. 
 

How any scout could ever greenlight signing him for their team after that is astonishing. 

[Darren]

8 minutes ago, OTT said:

A goalkeeper so bad that he virtually single handed my relegated us. 
 

How any scout could ever greenlight signing him for their team after that is astonishing. 

 

An ability to use a single hand would have been an improvement...

[superjack]

Whenever he was about to try and make a save, he always seemed to do the opposite of what a keeper should do, he always made himself look smaller.

Like others, I blame him, and the manager for continuously picking him, for us being at the bottom of the league when the season was curtailed.

[Watt-Zeefuik]

14 hours ago, been here before said:

 

This remains a chilling read from our Teutonic disaster...

 

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/sport/football/hearts/ex-hearts-boss-daniel-stendel-explains-why-he-kept-selecting-manchester-united-loanee-joel-pereira-3167804

 

"Stendel saw a lot of attributes in the custodian..."

 

" "He has a lot of quality.""

 

"He had the most potential from the goalkeepers we had. He was a little bit younger than the other guys, but he had the potential.".

 

So much in that article reveals what went wrong under Stendel. He liked Pereira's ability with his feet . . . then making him a defender FFS! Neuer got every wannabe manager dreaming of having 11 outfielders on the park with one who could drop back and use his hands without bothering to look closely as to how well he could actually stop a shot.

 

Also Stendel talking about "developing him for the future." Mate we were in the relegation zone. Stop "developing" players and pick up some ****ing points!

[Percival King]

1 hour ago, boag1874 said:

I don't think it's too much of a reach to say he's the worst keeper (maybe even the worst player) to ever play in the top league in Scotland. Definitely the worst to ever play for Hearts at the very least. It was like having to put an outfield player in goals because the keeper had been red carded . The whole team was poor that season but I'd say his continued selection is at least 75% of the reason we went down.

Easily the worst keeper I've ever seen for Hearts. There might have been worse keepers in the top league but I can't remember any, and I'd assume that they'd have been dropped pretty quickly, never to be seen or heard of again.

Even when Pereira had the ball in his box without an opposition player in 40 odd yards I'd get nervous that he would somehow create a goalscoring opportunity for the opposition, which he often did. Utter, utter dross, amazed he's still in professional football.

[RobboM]

Watching Portugal at the World Cup I was thinking what a brilliant move it would be to have Pereira in goals. A team of 10 top quality Portuguese outfield players giving 100% to keep the ball in the opposition half knowing that any shot on their goal will count against them.

[Marvin]

25 minutes ago, Percival King said:

Easily the worst keeper I've ever seen for Hearts. There might have been worse keepers in the top league but I can't remember any, and I'd assume that they'd have been dropped pretty quickly, never to be seen or heard of again.

Even when Pereira had the ball in his box without an opposition player in 40 odd yards I'd get nervous that he would somehow create a goalscoring opportunity for the opposition, which he often did. Utter, utter dross, amazed he's still in professional football.

 

Wasn't Nelson statistically a worse keeper. I'm sure someone mentioned it on here? 

[Martin_T]

I still find it incredible that he was on a 5 figure weekly wage and also started an EPL game for Manchester United.

 

The lack of any basic kind of goalkeeping ability is astonishing.

[milky_26]

10 minutes ago, Marvin said:

 

Wasn't Nelson statistically a worse keeper. I'm sure someone mentioned it on here? 

no from london hearts nelson had a 38% win ratio, pereira has a 25% win rate, or a bette way nelson lost 36% of his hearts games, pereira lost 43% of his games

[Marvin]

Just now, milky_26 said:

no from london hearts nelson had a 38% win ratio, pereira has a 25% win rate, or a bette way nelson lost 36% of his hearts games, pereira lost 43% of his games

 

👍

[milky_26]

2 minutes ago, Martin_T said:

I still find it incredible that he was on a 5 figure weekly wage and also started an EPL game for Manchester United.

 

The lack of any basic kind of goalkeeping ability is astonishing.

what is even stranger that game in the EPL was v crystal palace and man utd won 2-0, he played 2 other games for their first team and they won both games and only conceded 1 goal

[Taffin]

Dreadful...but for me, Kurskis is still the worst.

[boag1874]

Had a wee look at his stats for that season he was with us just out of curiosity & it's genuinely astonishing reading...

 

He played 20 games for us in the league keeping 3 clean sheets

In those 20 Games he faced 81 shots on target & conceded 37 goals giving him a save % of around 55% (not taking into account shots on target that would have been blocked by a defender). So that's roughly a goal every 2 shots on target.

 

For comparison some of our other post-admin keepers save % in the league;

Craig Gordon this season is on 70% (his lowest save % ever in his Hearts career) & last season finished on around 77%. His best ever was still in 05/06 with a ridiculous 83.7% 

Bobby Zlamal in 19/20 managed around 65% (can't find details for his 1st season & theres also not enough info on Doyle)

Jon McLaughlin managed 79% & conceded less than a goal a game in his one season (what might have been if we'd kept that defense together).

Jack Hamilton saved around 65% of shots on target in his 1st season as no.1. The following season he was on 56% & was dropped for McLaughlin.

Neil Alexander managed around 74% in his premiership season & around 83% in the 14/15 championship season

 

I've not included the likes of Ross Stewart, Scott Gallacher & Viktor Noring as they barely kicked a ball for us.

 

Stats taken from https://fbref.com/ 

 

 

[Taffin]

43 minutes ago, boag1874 said:

Had a wee look at his stats for that season he was with us just out of curiosity & it's genuinely astonishing reading...

 

He played 20 games for us in the league keeping 3 clean sheets

In those 20 Games he faced 81 shots on target & conceded 37 goals giving him a save % of around 55% (not taking into account shots on target that would have been blocked by a defender). So that's roughly a goal every 2 shots on target.

 

For comparison some of our other post-admin keepers save % in the league;

Craig Gordon this season is on 70% (his lowest save % ever in his Hearts career) & last season finished on around 77%. His best ever was still in 05/06 with a ridiculous 83.7% 

Bobby Zlamal in 19/20 managed around 65% (can't find details for his 1st season & theres also not enough info on Doyle)

Jon McLaughlin managed 79% & conceded less than a goal a game in his one season (what might have been if we'd kept that defense together).

Jack Hamilton saved around 65% of shots on target in his 1st season as no.1. The following season he was on 56% & was dropped for McLaughlin.

Neil Alexander managed around 74% in his premiership season & around 83% in the 14/15 championship season

 

I've not included the likes of Ross Stewart, Scott Gallacher & Viktor Noring as they barely kicked a ball for us.

 

Stats taken from https://fbref.com/ 

 

 

 

 

Kurskis 30% 😂😂😂 

 

 

Edit: awesome website, thanks for sharing. Could lose hours on there.

Edited November 25, 2022 by Taffin

[Carter]

57 minutes ago, Taffin said:

Dreadful...but for me, Kurskis is still the worst.

The ICT game with him in goal was hideous. As was his calamity at Ibrox. 

 

Pereira was something altogether more sinister. How he's made a career is beyond belief. Kurskis was shite but he wasn't cutting about at Man United. Something very odd. 

[Craig Herbertson]

I'm a grumpy old man now but still believe I would have better statistics if I stood motionless in the goals and let the ball bounce off me.

[upgotheheads]

5 hours ago, boag1874 said:

I don't think it's too much of a reach to say he's the worst keeper (maybe even the worst player) to ever play in the top league in Scotland. Definitely the worst to ever play for Hearts at the very least. It was like having to put an outfield player in goals because the keeper had been red carded . The whole team was poor that season but I'd say his continued selection is at least 75% of the reason we went down.

 

3 hours ago, OTT said:

A goalkeeper so bad that he virtually single handed my relegated us. 
 

How any scout could ever greenlight signing him for their team after that is astonishing. 

I can exclusively reveal (unless there's any older than me about) that Joel is the WORST GOALIE I HAVE EVER SEEN ANYWHERE EVER.

 

Ps I'm 73

Edited November 25, 2022 by upgotheheads

[postage-stamp]

7 minutes ago, Craig Herbertson said:

I'm a grumpy old man now but still believe I would have better statistics if I stood motionless in the goals and let the ball bounce off me.

I know a dog that is better in goals than him.  

[boag1874]

1 hour ago, Taffin said:

 

 

Kurskis 30% 😂😂😂 

 

 

Edit: awesome website, thanks for sharing. Could lose hours on there.

Genuinely mind blowing that BUT at least he didn’t play 20 games

[Wee Mikey]

26 minutes ago, Craig Herbertson said:

I'm a grumpy old man now but still believe I would have better statistics if I stood motionless in the goals and let the ball bounce off me.

 

Well, you would block about 30% of the goal, so fair assessment. 🤭

[sirwalter]

Heard his agent is lining up a lucrative sponsorship deal with Patak's.

[Wee Mikey]

18 minutes ago, sirwalter said:

Heard his agent is lining up a lucrative sponsorship deal with Patak's.

 

An illustration for the uninitiated:-

 

 

[Craig Herbertson]

2 hours ago, Wee Mikey said:

 

Well, you would block about 30% of the goal, so fair assessment. 🤭

 

That's underhand but horribly true. 😆

[Malinga the Swinga]

Single worst decision that Stendel made was continually using Joel in goals.

Using youth keeper would have got us enough points to avoid being expelled(not relegated) into championship.

A decision alone that should ensure managers reputation amongst all Hearts supporters is absolutely rock bottom.

 

[kila]

He's solid in training apparently, just can't do it for real.

 

Amazed he still gets a game, he didn't earn the nicknames 'poppadom hands' or 'el holograma' for no reason!

 

[Wee Mikey]

6 minutes ago, kila said:

He's solid in training apparently, just can't do it for real.

 

Amazed he still gets a game, he didn't earn the nicknames 'poppadom hands' or 'el holograma' for no reason!

 

 

I'm pretty sure that his nick-name was 'The Cat'. 🤣

 

Most cats would school him.

 

 

 

[postage-stamp]

1 hour ago, Malinga the Swinga said:

Single worst decision that Stendel made was continually using Joel in goals.

Using youth keeper would have got us enough points to avoid being expelled(not relegated) into championship.

A decision alone that should ensure managers reputation amongst all Hearts supporters is absolutely rock bottom.

 

Zamal was perfect by comparison.  

 

Played fine in the derby win in march 2020

[Don Dan]

Pereira to Gordon. 

Ridiculous to the Sublime. 
 

 

[millerjames398]

9 hours ago, boag1874 said:

I don't think it's too much of a reach to say he's the worst keeper (maybe even the worst player) to ever play in the top league in Scotland. Definitely the worst to ever play for Hearts at the very least. It was like having to put an outfield player in goals because the keeper had been red carded . The whole team was poor that season but I'd say his continued selection is at least 75% of the reason we went down.

That's not fair on a good number of outfield players, who had to stick the gloves on, over the years, they all looked like prime olly Kahn, compared to the hologram man😂🇱🇻

[mrcrisps]

Bad enough he could have played for Hibs. Given their goalkeeper woes over the years he would have fitted right in.

[1971fozzy]

[milky_26]

1 hour ago, postage-stamp said:

Zamal was perfect by comparison.  

 

Played fine in the derby win in march 2020

yep, while zlamal wasnt that great he was competent enough to give the defence some confidence. he also was made to look like a hybrid of yashin, zoff, buffon and gordon by el gato

[Hansel]

Probably our best ever goalkeeper with the ball at his feet..

 

 

Worst ever in every other department 

[WageThief]

9 hours ago, Led Tasso said:

 

So much in that article reveals what went wrong under Stendel. He liked Pereira's ability with his feet . . . then making him a defender FFS! Neuer got every wannabe manager dreaming of having 11 outfielders on the park with one who could drop back and use his hands without bothering to look closely as to how well he could actually stop a shot.

 

Also Stendel talking about "developing him for the future." Mate we were in the relegation zone. Stop "developing" players and pick up some ****ing points!

 

His ability with his feet is probably the reason he was at Man Utd.  In the past you'd never have a keeper so bad at the basics get to such a level.  But now I suspect they'd rather take someone with dodgy positioning and good feet than vice versa.  

[WageThief]

6 hours ago, upgotheheads said:

 

Ps I'm 73

 

Out of interest, were there any goalies who were good with the ball at their feet prior to the passback rule being implemented?

[BigAlim]

Worst player to ever play for Heart of Midlothian Football Club. 

 

We should bring him out for our 150th anniversary next year to give him a trophy for that, although he'd almost certainly drop it.

[postage-stamp]

1 hour ago, BigAlim said:

Worst player to ever play for Heart of Midlothian Football Club. 

 

We should bring him out for our 150th anniversary next year to give him a trophy for that, although he'd almost certainly drop it.

He was worse than zibby??

[superjack]

4 minutes ago, postage-stamp said:

He was worse than zibby??

Easily. Although zibby had many a calamity, he would still, at times, make some very good saves. I don't recall seeing el twato making 1 save that involved using his hands whilst having to jump or dive.

[postage-stamp]

2 minutes ago, superjack said:

Easily. Although zibby had many a calamity, he would still, at times, make some very good saves. I don't recall seeing el twato making 1 save that involved using his hands whilst having to jump or dive.

Me neither.  How the hell did we not lose every game 10-0 or similar 🤔.

 

He dived out of the way of some shots too.

[the posh bit]

20 minutes ago, postage-stamp said:

He was worse than zibby??

 

Probably. Zibby was funnier though. 

[Doctor FinnBarr]

13 hours ago, milky_26 said:

no from london hearts nelson had a 38% win ratio, pereira has a 25% win rate, or a bette way nelson lost 36% of his hearts games, pereira lost 43% of his games

 

What about Brian Wilson or Ray Dunlop?

[Bindy Badgy]

17 hours ago, Taffin said:

Dreadful...but for me, Kurskis is still the worst.

 

Kurskis' performance in game that we lost 3-2 to Inverness is the most shambolic performance I've ever seen. I genuinely think that I could have done better.

 

That said, The Hologram was probably worse when you look at all of his performances together. He's the reason we were relegated. Not even Kurskis managed that.

[Bazzas right boot]

Only keeper I've seen dive out of the way of the ball.

How he is still playing in goal is beyond me.

 

In his defence He was good at cross balls and could pass.

Shame he couldn't save, anything. 

 

 

[thegreatsd]

Has there ever been a bigger upgrade in the history of football going from Pereira to Gordon?

[milky_26]

12 hours ago, FinnBarr Saunders said:

 

What about Brian Wilson or Ray Dunlop?

dunlop, played 74 won 36 giving 48% win and only 29% loss

 

wilson played 19 won 8 38% win and 42 % loss

[Doctor FinnBarr]

9 hours ago, milky_26 said:

dunlop, played 74 won 36 giving 48% win and only 29% loss

 

wilson played 19 won 8 38% win and 42 % loss

 

I only asked because both are from the same era......and Brian posts on here.

[postage-stamp]

10 hours ago, thegreatsd said:

Has there ever been a bigger upgrade in the history of football going from Pereira to Gordon?

Haha

 

Good point lol

[Naisys Tackle]

10 hours ago, thegreatsd said:

Has there ever been a bigger upgrade in the history of football going from Pereira to Gordon?

Tepi to Gordon. 

 

Roddy McKenzie to Niemi? 

[SwindonJambo]

28 minutes ago, Robbies Tackle said:

Tepi to Gordon. 

 

Roddy McKenzie to Niemi? 

Niemi replaced Gilles Rousset. Tepi replaced McKenzie IIRC. Roddy was in goal for 4-4 then got injured as I recall. 

 

Fairly sure Tepi was dropped after a 5-0 hiding at Parkhead and in came 20yo CG! 

[Naisys Tackle]

1 minute ago, SwindonJambo said:

Niemi replaced Gilles Rousset. Tepi replaced McKenzie IIRC. Roddy was in goal for 4-4 then got injured as I recall. 

 

Fairly sure Tepi was dropped after a 5-0 hiding at Parkhead and in came 20yo CG! 

Aye that makes sense.  Giles played in the first derby and made a great save from Kenny Miller and Sweggy saved us a draw.  Niemis debut was the 0-3 right before millenium.

 

Thought Tepi got dumped because of his howler against ten men Hibs when some spangle ran on the pitch?  Saying that it couldn't have been because was at Brockville in the cup and sure that was Craigs second game for us and that was January maybe?  Too late to google or think back