Urinating in the street/public places

[Morgan]

On the back of Ryders' post about spitting.

 

It's almost like a national pastime here in France for men to just whip it out anywhere and pee. They don't even try to hide themselves behind bushes, bus shelters, walls etc.

 

Don't recall it ever being like that in Edinburgh (although if needs were desperate I must admit to the odd indiscretion).

 

Never, never however in a stair door or in open view.

 

We don't think it can be against the law here it is so frequently seen. What is the situation in Scotland?

[Paolo]

I try not to, but if desperate, there is little choice, and you have to be as discreet as you can.

 

There a reason very few public toilets, and the few that are there can feel unsafe.

 

Most pubs only allow toilets for customers, that is assuming you get past the doorman, if you have already had a few too many (hence the need to piss).

 

I think you can be charged of a sexual offence though, and potentially could have to sign on the register.

[Sawdust Caesar]

Well, just yesterday at around 3pm I saw a guy on George Street at the Standard Life building having a slash. On the front wall where the building sticks out a wee bit further thus creating a very small corner, this guy had tried to squeeze himself into it to hide himself. At first I thought he was either trying to light a ciggie or he was playing hide and seek until I saw where his hands were. I don't know why he didn't just  pop into The Dome and use their bogs.

[Boab]

Reminds me of the Frankie Boyle sketch when he said he seen a guy pissing against a door...and then taking out his keys and going inside.

 

France has nothing on Scotland !

[Say What Again]

Many moons ago I got caught short in Queen Street. As it was past closing times, about 3.30am, I thought I'd get away with it. Started to piss only to become aware of the blue flashing lights behind me. Told me if I didn't stop right then I was getting lifted.

 

Dribbled piss all over my hands, shoes and jeans.... which I'm sure was the whole point of them making me rush to stop

[Morgan]

Many moons ago I got caught short in Queen Street. As it was past closing times, about 3.30am, I thought I'd get away with it. Started to piss only to become aware of the blue flashing lights behind me. Told me if I didn't stop right then I was getting lifted.

 

Dribbled piss all over my hands, shoes and jeans.... which I'm sure was the whole point of them making me rush to stop

Aye, it's not easy to stop in mid-flow.

 

Especially if you've got about eight pints in you

[RudiHMFC]

If I'm bursting for a pish when im

[Morgan]

If I'm bursting for a pish when im

[Chester™]

It's almost like a national pastime here in France for men to just whip it out anywhere and pee. They don't even try to hide themselves behind bushes, bus shelters, walls etc.

 

 

 

When I was working in an Edinburgh nightclub, many years ago, France were playing Scotland in the 6 Nations at Murrayfield. As expected the place was heaving and I was supervising in the busiest bar. Halfway through the night, I noticed a stream of water coming from the hatch area, at some speed. I initially thought it was a soda gun, as we'd been having problems with it for a few weeks. Go over to check, and a delightful Frenchman, had whipped his ****** out and was pissing into the bar. Dirty ****.

[Fitzroy Pointon]

I remember my old man pished going to the game once, stops for a slash outside the old B.T. building and stands behind a sign to hide himself.  The problem being the sign only came down to his waist, meaning anyone going past could see it.  The police stopped and my arse collapsed as I thought we would miss the game.  Luckily, very very luckily, they saw the funny side and let us keep on to the ground.  He also went arse over tit on the concourse that day.  

[milky_26]

When I was working in an Edinburgh nightclub, many years ago, France were playing Scotland in the 6 Nations at Murrayfield. As expected the place was heaving and I was supervising in the busiest bar. Halfway through the night, I noticed a stream of water coming from the hatch area, at some speed. I initially thought it was a soda gun, as we'd been having problems with it for a few weeks. Go over to check, and a delightful Frenchman, had whipped his ****** out and was pissing into the bar. Dirty ****.

i hope you booted the cheese eating, wine swilling surrender monkey around the place for being a manky bassa

[Serge]

Pissoirs like these used to be all over France. Rivers of pish everywhere.

 

[Chester™]

i hope you booted the cheese eating, wine swilling surrender monkey around the place for being a manky bassa

 

I had some very nice gentlemen escort him from the premises. I can neither confirm or deny what happened before he was promptly arrested.

[EH11_2NL]

Pissoirs like these used to be all over France. Rivers of pish everywhere.

 

Rivers of pish. Like the climb up to the Dunbar End back in the day. A river of pish met you on your way up.

[zoltan socrates]

Entrance gates at the old tenents building on russell road was awash wi pish before and after games

[Samuel Camazzola]

On the back of Ryders' post about spitting.

 

It's almost like a national pastime here in France for men to just whip it out anywhere and pee. They don't even try to hide themselves behind bushes, bus shelters, walls etc.

 

Don't recall it ever being like that in Edinburgh (although if needs were desperate I must admit to the odd indiscretion).

 

Never, never however in a stair door or in open view.

 

We don't think it can be against the law here it is so frequently seen. What is the situation in Scotland?

A high percentage of 'patrons' who attend Tynecastle struggle with toilet etiquette. They seem to miss the urinals and don't know how to wash their hands.

[I P Knightley]

Many moons ago I got caught short in Queen Street. As it was past closing times, about 3.30am, I thought I'd get away with it. Started to piss only to become aware of the blue flashing lights behind me. Told me if I didn't stop right then I was getting lifted.

 

Dribbled piss all over my hands, shoes and jeans.... which I'm sure was the whole point of them making me rush to stop

A mate of mine (honest, a mate, not me) was curling out a jobby up an alleyway, thinking that he was well out of sight. Somewhere in Leeds where he went to Uni.

 

He'd just got himself balanced and starting to shout on the Germans when a voice behind said, "If that touches the ground, you're nicked!"

 

 

 

 

Being of a certain age, I find I have to go more frequently and have pissed in many, many open places. I am very considerate with it and wouldn't do it on someone's property, like on their door or car or anything. Bushes, trees, hedges, building sites, skips, and car parks all get a good watering from me.

[Jambos_1874]

What about pishing in the sea? It's a public place after all....

[Morgan]

A high percentage of 'patrons' who attend Tynecastle struggle with toilet etiquette. They seem to miss the urinals and don't know how to wash their hands.

Don't get me started on folk that fail to wash their hands after "spending a penny".

 

Absolutely disgusting.

 

'Would you like some peanuts or crisps from the bowls on the bar"?  Eh, no thanks.

 

'Did you touch that door handle on the way out of the bog"?  Aye, right.

[Morgan]

When I was working in an Edinburgh nightclub, many years ago, France were playing Scotland in the 6 Nations at Murrayfield. As expected the place was heaving and I was supervising in the busiest bar. Halfway through the night, I noticed a stream of water coming from the hatch area, at some speed. I initially thought it was a soda gun, as we'd been having problems with it for a few weeks. Go over to check, and a delightful Frenchman, had whipped his ****** out and was pissing into the bar. Dirty ****.

Unbelievable.

 

They really do act like animals sometimes.

 

Bit harsh on animals actually.

[Rab Mac52]

Many years ago, a friend's young son came home and said he had been banned from Dairy Baths for having a pee in the water. Dad goes mental and jumps in the car not listening to his son's plea of "No dad, It's ok." Arrives at the baths and goes his dinger with the attendant suggesting that every 10 year old pees in the baths and that's what chlorine is for. The attendant smiled and said,

"Yes sir. I'm sure many children do this, but not from the diving board." 

A very chastened dad retreated in defeat inwardly smiling to himself.

[Morgan]

Many years ago, a friend's young son came home and said he had been banned from Dairy Baths for having a pee in the water. Dad goes mental and jumps in the car not listening to his son's plea of "No dad, It's ok." Arrives at the baths and goes his dinger with the attendant suggesting that every 10 year old pees in the baths and that's what chlorine is for. The attendant smiled and said,

"Yes sir. I'm sure many children do this, but not from the diving board." 

A very chastened dad retreated in defeat inwardly smiling to himself.

 

[Seymour M Hersh]

Not to be encouraged Morgan.

[William H. Bonney]

I'll happily admit to using the Celtic shop as a urinal on many an occasion.

[redjambo]

Don't get me started on folk that fail to wash their hands after "spending a penny".

 

Absolutely disgusting.

 

'Would you like some peanuts or crisps from the bowls on the bar"?  Eh, no thanks.

 

'Did you touch that door handle on the way out of the bog"?  Aye, right.

 

All bog doors should open outwards for this reason - then you don't need to use the handle at all, just your foot or a shoulder.

[Morgan]

I'll happily admit to using the Celtic shop as a urinal on many an occasion.

Yeah but that's an official toilet so all is good.

[Say What Again]

Many years ago, a friend's young son came home and said he had been banned from Dairy Baths for having a pee in the water. Dad goes mental and jumps in the car not listening to his son's plea of "No dad, It's ok." Arrives at the baths and goes his dinger with the attendant suggesting that every 10 year old pees in the baths and that's what chlorine is for. The attendant smiled and said,

"Yes sir. I'm sure many children do this, but not from the diving board."

A very chastened dad retreated in defeat inwardly smiling to himself.

[Pennywise]

A good few years ago, my kids were still in buggies, I had just met my wife from work and we were walking through Dalry, picked up some beers for the Friday night and a big bottle of orange Bacardi breezer for my wife. I'm bursting on a pee so tell the wife to wait while I try find a secluded spot to relieve myself. I find somewhere and start to pee, out of nowhere I hear a voice say "normally people go in toilets" and a woman standing behind me. I get all embarrassed & explain I was busting, shuffling past her.

 

I get back to my wife who, waiting for me on a rather hot day, decided to have a wee drink out her big bottle of breezer. Just as she takes it from her lips the same woman appears next to her. Looked at us in sheer horror. My wife standing with the buggy, drinking Bacardi breezer. Me pishing in the street.

 

Felt like a proper schemie that day.

[kingantti1874]

On the back of Ryders' post about spitting.

 

It's almost like a national pastime here in France for men to just whip it out anywhere and pee. They don't even try to hide themselves behind bushes, bus shelters, walls etc.

 

Don't recall it ever being like that in Edinburgh (although if needs were desperate I must admit to the odd indiscretion).

 

Never, never however in a stair door or in open view.

 

We don't think it can be against the law here it is so frequently seen. What is the situation in Scotland?

Myself and a mate got done for this when I was 16, went round the back of argos in Bathgate because the taxi rank cue was massive and was bursting.. Police must have thought we were upto something dodgy and followed us.. Think they would have let us off but my mate was a cheeky bass.

 

Didn't tell My folks obviously.. Came home from school one day to find letter sitting on the fireplace stood uo with a red "PROCURATOR FISCAL" stamped on the front.. Not great.

[luckyBatistuta]

I just go into a pub and ask the bar staff if they mind me using the toilet. Never had any refuse even though I'm not buying any drink, because...

 

1/ I've asked politely

and

2/ they don't give a shit, because it's not their pub.

[luckyBatistuta]

Many moons ago I got caught short in Queen Street. As it was past closing times, about 3.30am, I thought I'd get away with it. Started to piss only to become aware of the blue flashing lights behind me. Told me if I didn't stop right then I was getting lifted.

 

Dribbled piss all over my hands, shoes and jeans.... which I'm sure was the whole point of them making me rush to stop

Had the same experience years ago when I had come out of Outer Limits. I was trying to hide as much as possible, but then I heard a vehicle and turned around to see a meat wagon sitting behind me. Took off up the street covering myself in my own piss

[Rupert Pupkin]

We were in Dino's chippy in Loanhead on a busy Saturday night. My 4yr old son (now 15) walked up to the entrance door pulled down his trousers and peed out onto the street, much to our embarrassment when we saw him.

 

 

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[RudiHMFC]

If I'm bursting for a pish when im

Da **** didn't realise I posted this, think what I was trying to say was - if I'm bursting for a pish with a bevvy in me, I'll do it pretty much anywhere.

[millerjames398]

Reminds me of the Frankie Boyle sketch when he said he seen a guy pissing against a door...and then taking out his keys and going inside.

 

France has nothing on Scotland !

He saw that in Bathgate he says in his sketch[emoji106] [emoji23]

 

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[jb102]

A mate of mine (honest, a mate, not me) was curling out a jobby up an alleyway, thinking that he was well out of sight. Somewhere in Leeds where he went to Uni.

 

He'd just got himself balanced and starting to shout on the Germans when a voice behind said, "If that touches the ground, you're nicked!"

 

 

 

 

Being of a certain age, I find I have to go more frequently and have pissed in many, many open places. I am very considerate with it and wouldn't do it on someone's property, like on their door or car or anything. Bushes, trees, hedges, building sites, skips, and car parks all get a good watering from me.

Please explain "shout on the Germans" as I need to understand it fully before using the phrase.

God knows I'd hate to offend the Krauts.

[alyp]

Was in Delhi recently. Saw plenty guys dropping their trousers and laying one down in the street. Asked a colleague about it and she said ?these people are very poor. They live in small rooms with many other people and have no toilets. And there are no public toilets. So what should they do??

 

Different world.

[Joey J J Jr Shabadoo]

A pal got done before the 2006 semi. Off the bus (which had no toilet), down towards Hampden (early Sunday so pretty much everywhere closed), down a side street, down a lane, took a leak near some derelict lock ups. Totally ridiculous. Took a piss against a tree with no one anywhere near and got done.

 

Two weeks wages I think the fine was. Great use of Police time.

I got done coming back from Stranraer (velicka cup game). Bus stopped at a service station with one toilet, massive queue for the bog. Nipped round the back got ready for a pish, looked up and two police standing there. Used the queue as an excuse, the police pointed to a hotel next to the service station.

 

I hadn't even noticed it.

 

My fine was ?40. I didn't even have a pish.

[I P Knightley]

Please explain "shout on the Germans" as I need to understand it fully before using the phrase.

God knows I'd hate to offend the Krauts.

 

Drop the troosers; drop the kex, assume the position and... "Hunnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!"

 

(On a football forum, I should, of course, have said, "shout on the The Rangers".

[jb102]

Drop the troosers; drop the kex, assume the position and... "Hunnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!"

 

(On a football forum, I should, of course, have said, "shout on the The Rangers".

Thank you,carry on.

[Morgan]

Drop the troosers; drop the kex, assume the position and... "Hunnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!"

 

(On a football forum, I should, of course, have said, "shout on the The Rangers".

[Justin Z]

Da **** didn't realise I posted this, think what I was trying to say was - if I'm bursting for a pish with a bevvy in me, I'll do it pretty much anywhere.

 

Your first post is probably the biggest guffaw anyone has ever accidentally gotten out of me, well done

[Morgan]

If I'm bursting for a pish when im

  

  

Your first post is probably the biggest guffaw anyone has ever accidentally gotten out of me, well done

Me too.

 

I thought it was deliberate.

 

:)

[Sexton Hardcastle]

Used to see loads of Asian female tourists hop off the tour buses in Johnston terrace and pee by granny green steps and the car park beside it.

 

Horrible.

[Locky]

I pished in a bin in Rose Street when reeking once. Not my finest moment. Like an actual litter bin in the middle of the street with late night revellers everywhere.

 

After the 5-1 final, I was on the bus going home, again, reeking. Never need to piss so bad, I was tempted to get off at the Commy and get the next bus but the girlfriend made sure I didn't.

 

Finally got off at the Jack Kane where I stayed, and shamelessly pulled my drawers right down and began pissing before the bus even pulled away.

 

Great day.

[fabienleclerq]

Not quite on topic but I was at work the other day and with five urinals available some deviant took the middle one, no urinal etiquette at all. He then never washed his hands dirty bassa.

[deesidejambo]

I got locked out of my house a few years ago.    As I waited I badly needed a dump so the only option was in the neighbours garden as they have a secluded corner bit and they were out.  Had to use my socks and kex to wipe my arse though.

 

btw it was a massive beauty.

[Morgan]

I got locked out of my house a few years ago.    As I waited I badly needed a dump so the only option was in the neighbours garden as they have a secluded corner bit and they were out.  Had to use my socks and kex to wipe my arse though.

 

btw it was a massive beauty.

Thanks for adding this heart warming story to the thread.

 

This is exactly the sort of tale I was looking for

 

Your 'btw' was sheer poetry.

[SE16 3LN]

Many years ago I got done for pissing through the letterbox of Martins Light Bite before a Sham 69 gig at Clouds. I was fined ?20 at the District court in my absence. The same night I was fined, I got done for pissing against the District court. Fined ?40. These things happen when you're young.

[Morgan]

Many years ago I got done for pissing through the letterbox of Martins Light Bite before a Sham 69 gig at Clouds. I was fined ?20 at the District court in my absence. The same night I was fined, I got done for pissing against the District court. Fined ?40. These things happen when you're young.

Martins Light Bite

 

That's an old one!

[SE16 3LN]

Martins Light Bite

 

That's an old one!

Yes it is but it still works