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The People's Chimp

Wishaw Takeaway to sue Hearts.

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The People's Chimp

It was today revealed that a Wishaw kebab shop was to sue Hearts over the broken shop windows sustained when their shop was hit by a clearance from Robbie Neilson in the first half of Hearts' Scottish Cup defeat at Motherwell. The ball was seen to soar over Motherwell's bus shelter stand and onwards towards Wishaw, before eye witnesses lost sight of it. However, the RAF did confirm reports of an unidentified flying object over Lanarkshire at approximately 8.15pm last night.

 

The owner of the shop, Mehmet Marantic, said "I was in the middle of deep frying oor doner kebabs for ra mad rush efter the dominos at the wishie rangers social club when oot ay nowhere this pure mad hing came oot ay the sky and smashed ma windaes! It turns oot it was wan ay they lithuanians, neilson, what done it, so I um suing for loss of earnings and new windaes. Ma lawyer huz spoken tae the sfa and they are backing me all the way."

 

_1329589_window.jpg

The smashed up shop front, today.

 

A spokesman for Gordon Smith of the Glasgow Football Association confirmed that they would be backing Mr Marantic in his legal action and vowed to wipe out this kind of east coast, lithuanian thuggery "Mr Smith made it clear in his first few weeks in this post that the GFA would take a clear view on simulation, as long as it involved a player from an Edinburgh club, namely Heart of Midlothian, and that video evidence would be used to combat such an evil, foreign blight on our game. As a result we will be looking again at Mr Marantic's CCTV evidence, even though it was not official BBC coverage and will also be hitting Hearts hard, with a fine and a lengthy three match suspension for Robbie Neilson, who we can also confirm has a Lithuanian Granny."

 

Nobody at hearts was today available for comment.

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Nelly Terraces

Good call. Me and my mate were saying how many dented motors would be out on that carpark outside the ground after so many balls went over that stand!

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KisLas
It was today revealed that a Wishaw kebab shop was to sue Hearts over the broken shop windows sustained when their shop was hit by a clearance from Robbie Neilson in the first half of Hearts' Scottish Cup defeat at Motherwell. The ball was seen to soar over Motherwell's bus shelter stand and onwards towards Wishaw, before eye witnesses lost sight of it. However, the RAF did confirm reports of an unidentified flying object over Lanarkshire at approximately 8.15pm last night.

 

The owner of the shop, Mehmet Marantic, said "I was in the middle of deep frying oor doner kebabs for ra mad rush efter the dominos at the wishie rangers social club when oot ay nowhere this pure mad hing came oot ay the sky and smashed ma windaes! It turns oot it was wan ay they lithuanians, neilson, what done it, so I um suing for loss of earnings and new windaes. Ma lawyer huz spoken tae the sfa and they are backing me all the way."

 

_1329589_window.jpg

The smashed up shop front, today.

 

A spokesman for Gordon Smith of the Glasgow Football Association confirmed that they would be backing Mr Marantic in his legal action and vowed to wipe out this kind of east coast, lithuanian thuggery "Mr Smith made it clear in his first few weeks in this post that the GFA would take a clear view on simulation, as long as it involved a player from an Edinburgh club, namely Heart of Midlothian, and that video evidence would be used to combat such an evil, foreign blight on our game. As a result we will be looking again at Mr Marantic's CCTV evidence, even though it was not official BBC coverage and will also be hitting Hearts hard, with a fine and a lengthy three match suspension for Robbie Neilson, who we can also confirm has a Lithuanian Granny."

 

Nobody at hearts was today available for comment.

 

Good one :)

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Erik

Deep fried Kebab???

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Cardiac Rucksack
Deep fried Kebab???

 

Well it is the weeg

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Dr Lager

I suspect this story to be a hoax as every wishaw takeaway I have ever seen has steel shutters instead of windaes.

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Jambo83

I'm just glad Robbie cleared the danger, Jose seems to prefer passing it straight to the opposition.

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Eckauskas

Probably the best pass Robbie's played in the past 6 months.

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Rods

Me and my mate were saying at the game if motherwell had common sense

 

They should have had nets up there to stop the

 

Robbie Rockets

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lambojambo
Probably the best pass Robbie's played in the past 6 months.

 

 

Too near the truth to be funny! :eek:

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ibpc

Excellent. After that I thought our tactics might be to use up all thier balls and get the game abandoned.

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sjh1874
I'm just glad Robbie cleared the danger, Jose seems to prefer passing it straight to the opposition.

 

Aye or Mikey the Imposter giving the keeper catching practice.

 

Despair big chap, despair!!

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Jambo83
Aye or Mikey the Imposter giving the keeper catching practice.

 

Despair big chap, despair!!

 

I thought Mikey was playing passy with Smith.

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sjh1874
I thought Mikey was playing passy with Smith.

 

He'd have been better employed playing kerbie on the freaking M8!

 

:mad:

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Jambo83
He'd have been better employed playing kerbie on the freaking M8!

 

:mad:

 

Enjoy Newcastle you slag :P

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Devries4
It was today revealed that a Wishaw kebab shop was to sue Hearts over the broken shop windows sustained when their shop was hit by a clearance from Robbie Neilson in the first half of Hearts' Scottish Cup defeat at Motherwell. The ball was seen to soar over Motherwell's bus shelter stand and onwards towards Wishaw, before eye witnesses lost sight of it. However, the RAF did confirm reports of an unidentified flying object over Lanarkshire at approximately 8.15pm last night.

 

The owner of the shop, Mehmet Marantic, said "I was in the middle of deep frying oor doner kebabs for ra mad rush efter the dominos at the wishie rangers social club when oot ay nowhere this pure mad hing came oot ay the sky and smashed ma windaes! It turns oot it was wan ay they lithuanians, neilson, what done it, so I um suing for loss of earnings and new windaes. Ma lawyer huz spoken tae the sfa and they are backing me all the way."

 

_1329589_window.jpg

The smashed up shop front, today.

 

A spokesman for Gordon Smith of the Glasgow Football Association confirmed that they would be backing Mr Marantic in his legal action and vowed to wipe out this kind of east coast, lithuanian thuggery "Mr Smith made it clear in his first few weeks in this post that the GFA would take a clear view on simulation, as long as it involved a player from an Edinburgh club, namely Heart of Midlothian, and that video evidence would be used to combat such an evil, foreign blight on our game. As a result we will be looking again at Mr Marantic's CCTV evidence, even though it was not official BBC coverage and will also be hitting Hearts hard, with a fine and a lengthy three match suspension for Robbie Neilson, who we can also confirm has a Lithuanian Granny."

 

Nobody at hearts was today available for comment.

 

Good effort:)

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maroonlegions

lucky their not getting sued for selling heart attack food and artery busting junk.:rolleyes::confused:but very good effort.;):)

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dunxjambo

the ball went out of the ground twice, once by robbie once by a 'well.

very droll. :P

better than jose thinking he can play his way oot of trouble. :)

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Gambo
It was today revealed that a Wishaw kebab shop was to sue Hearts over the broken shop windows sustained when their shop was hit by a clearance from Robbie Neilson in the first half of Hearts' Scottish Cup defeat at Motherwell. The ball was seen to soar over Motherwell's bus shelter stand and onwards towards Wishaw, before eye witnesses lost sight of it. However, the RAF did confirm reports of an unidentified flying object over Lanarkshire at approximately 8.15pm last night.

 

The owner of the shop, Mehmet Marantic, said "I was in the middle of deep frying oor doner kebabs for ra mad rush efter the dominos at the wishie rangers social club when oot ay nowhere this pure mad hing came oot ay the sky and smashed ma windaes! It turns oot it was wan ay they lithuanians, neilson, what done it, so I um suing for loss of earnings and new windaes. Ma lawyer huz spoken tae the sfa and they are backing me all the way."

 

_1329589_window.jpg

The smashed up shop front, today.

 

A spokesman for Gordon Smith of the Glasgow Football Association confirmed that they would be backing Mr Marantic in his legal action and vowed to wipe out this kind of east coast, lithuanian thuggery "Mr Smith made it clear in his first few weeks in this post that the GFA would take a clear view on simulation, as long as it involved a player from an Edinburgh club, namely Heart of Midlothian, and that video evidence would be used to combat such an evil, foreign blight on our game. As a result we will be looking again at Mr Marantic's CCTV evidence, even though it was not official BBC coverage and will also be hitting Hearts hard, with a fine and a lengthy three match suspension for Robbie Neilson, who we can also confirm has a Lithuanian Granny."

 

Nobody at hearts was today available for comment.

 

 

By claiming it was a 'clearance' they have jeopordised their case, now if they had used the correct wording "was hit by a pass from Robbie Neilson" they might stand a better chance. :confused:

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Rudolf's Mate

Rumour has it Robbie has stuck a note on it asking for the full monty and plenty of chille sauce!!!

 

Funniest thing I've read in ages... Keep up the good work my friend :)

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