Legend Claws Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Currently I am working on a temporary contract for The City Of Melbourne Council. I sit on a phone all day and people call me to tell me that the parking meter they are trying to use is faulty. All they have to do is tell me the clearly marked ID number from the machine and their car number plate (or 'rego' as the Aussies love to call it). The amount of people that really struggle to do this is worrying! They ask me where it is as if they cannot use their eyes and look at the cubic square foot machine in front of them and find it, god sake open your ****ing ****** eyes!!! I mean I am only doing this to fund further travels (I could not get any short term profession based work) but I am starting to get really ****ing angry every time I have to answer the phone! Some guy yesterday started blabbing on in some crazy language yesterday expecting me to be able to understand. People tell me why they have to park e.g. 'I am going to buy a steak for my husband, he only likes it from this butcher and I cook it medium rare' do you think I give a donkeys dick how your husband eats his steak? It just seems the general intelligence of the public is horrendous. There are people here who have been doing this job for 10 years! I don't know how they are not shivering wrecks who can only communicate in grunts and eat sawdust for lunch. Sorry I had to get that off my chest before I go out and wrap somebodies head around the first meter I see. So what really riles you about your job?!? Make me feel better please! p.s. Before anybody says "you could have it worse, you could be a nurse" etc I don't care so save it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boof Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Could be worse....you could be taking a dump at your work and someone post the hilarious details on the internet. D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legend Claws Posted May 20, 2008 Author Share Posted May 20, 2008 Haha not seen that dude for a while, maybe he shat himself to death? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 So what really riles you about your job?!? The rain on cold nights standing on Salamander Street for hours on end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Whittaker's Tache Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Effin "Team All" emails from our London office on the inanest of subjects Get like 50 a day asking about window keys, notebooks, pencils etc etc My directorial powers may have to be exercised soon..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makween Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Mine actually isn't too bad, but one thing that really annoys me is when I'm trying to get people's bank details when they're claiming expenses. It's all very simple. They fill in the claim form, then are automatically told to e-mail their details to the shared inbox so that they can be set up as a supplier. The e-mail automatically pops up for them, and helpfully tells them in the subject bar that their personnel number, sort code and account number are required. The amount of people who don't put a personnel number or give a roll number instead of sort code and account number is frightening. Then you e-mail the ****ers back asking for their account details (bear in mind that this is in a reply to the e-mail that they sent to the people who need said details), and they're not happy to send them. Why, God only knows. Or you send them an e-mail and they phone you back to tell you, only for you to tell them that you need it in writing anyway. Why didn't they just e-mail back in the first place? Well, only they can answer that. Idiots. Also, the amount of companies that send in invoices, and then aren't sure that they can trust you when you phoe and ask for them to send over their bank details - even though you've just reeled off the invoice number, invoice date, invoice amount and a description of what the invoice is for - is frightening. I worry about people sometimes, I really do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Mine actually isn't too bad, but one thing that really annoys me is when I'm trying to get people's bank details when they're claiming expenses. It's all very simple. They fill in the claim form, then are automatically told to e-mail their details to the shared inbox so that they can be set up as a supplier. The e-mail automatically pops up for them, and helpfully tells them in the subject bar that their personnel number, sort code and account number are required. The amount of people who don't put a personnel number or give a roll number instead of sort code and account number is frightening. Then you e-mail the ****ers back asking for their account details (bear in mind that this is in a reply to the e-mail that they sent to the people who need said details), and they're not happy to send them. Why, God only knows. Or you send them an e-mail and they phone you back to tell you, only for you to tell them that you need it in writing anyway. Why didn't they just e-mail back in the first place? Well, only they can answer that. Idiots. Also, the amount of companies that send in invoices, and then aren't sure that they can trust you when you phoe and ask for them to send over their bank details - even though you've just reeled off the invoice number, invoice date, invoice amount and a description of what the invoice is for - is frightening. I worry about people sometimes, I really do. Hang on, I submitted an expenses claim form just this morning... Thought you guys had my account details from the last time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alwaysthereinspirit Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Currently I am working on a temporary contract for The City Of Melbourne Council. I sit on a phone all day and people call me to tell me that the parking meter they are trying to use is faulty. All they have to do is tell me the clearly marked ID number from the machine and their car number plate (or 'rego' as the Aussies love to call it). The amount of people that really struggle to do this is worrying! They ask me where it is as if they cannot use their eyes and look at the cubic square foot machine in front of them and find it, god sake open your ****ing ****** eyes!!! I mean I am only doing this to fund further travels (I could not get any short term profession based work) but I am starting to get really ****ing angry every time I have to answer the phone! Some guy yesterday started blabbing on in some crazy language yesterday expecting me to be able to understand. People tell me why they have to park e.g. 'I am going to buy a steak for my husband, he only likes it from this butcher and I cook it medium rare' do you think I give a donkeys dick how your husband eats his steak? It just seems the general intelligence of the public is horrendous. There are people here who have been doing this job for 10 years! I don't know how they are not shivering wrecks who can only communicate in grunts and eat sawdust for lunch. Sorry I had to get that off my chest before I go out and wrap somebodies head around the first meter I see. So what really riles you about your job?!? Make me feel better please! p.s. Before anybody says "you could have it worse, you could be a nurse" etc I don't care so save it. Reading between the lines. You need some serious help. You have some anger issues and maybe a little bit of homosexual tendencies towards animals. Telling us "you give a donkey dick" is just sick. Also the part about only liking it from the butcher is a cry for help. Guys blabbing on in some crazy language is only voices in your head. You need to get some professional help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makween Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Hang on, I submitted an expenses claim form just this morning... Thought you guys had my account details from the last time! Seriously? We probably do have them. We only need them sent in either if they're from a first time claimant or if the details have actually changed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Seriously? We probably do have them. We only need them sent in either if they're from a first time claimant or if the details have actually changed. Yep. To be honest I was half expecting a complaint (by e-mail) because I'd been a bit cheeky and avoided the ?30 limit on trains by splitting it between two claims, but I wasn't expecting kickback to be the medium of choice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Winstone Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 What gets me about being a student - having to go to 8 hours of lectures per week. I mean they could at least give me some time to myself - 8 hours a week = joke! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Brow Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Try working in a government building. I work in one providing IT Support so the "normal" folk who work here are essentially my "customers". This place is full of fat feckers, midgets (4 at last count), idiots, loads of folk in wheelchairs (approx 10) so the canteen is like a formula 1 track when its busy, generally loads of folk doing sod all. I would say 60% of them are obese and 30% of the rest are on their way. They are the stupidest bunch of lazy gits i HAVE EVER SEEN. I include Nade in that statement. I came in for some overtime last week and half the building was in reading the papers! You couldnt make it up. And its all tax payers money. Nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 My favourite at work is this. Guy comes to the booking office window at Polmont and asks for a cheap day return to Edinburgh. I sell him the ticket and he then asks. What time is the last train back from Edinburgh. I inform him for Polmont it is Eleven thirty pm. After saying this to him he still asked. Does it stop here. John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1874robbo Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 I am a train driver and the one thing that p***** me off is when i'm pulling into a station and some fu***** looking at and tapping their watch!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legend Claws Posted May 20, 2008 Author Share Posted May 20, 2008 Try working in a government building. I work in one providing IT Support so the "normal" folk who work here are essentially my "customers". This place is full of fat feckers, midgets (4 at last count), idiots, loads of folk in wheelchairs (approx 10) so the canteen is like a formula 1 track when its busy, generally loads of folk doing sod all. I would say 60% of them are obese and 30% of the rest are on their way. They are the stupidest bunch of lazy gits i HAVE EVER SEEN. I include Nade in that statement. I came in for some overtime last week and half the building was in reading the papers! You couldnt make it up. And its all tax payers money. Nice. I do work in a government building and I agree so much! There are so many fat folk here it is sick, you can smell the gravy blood in the corridors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legend Claws Posted May 21, 2008 Author Share Posted May 21, 2008 Reading between the lines. You need some serious help. You have some anger issues and maybe a little bit of homosexual tendencies towards animals. Telling us "you give a donkey dick" is just sick. Also the part about only liking it from the butcher is a cry for help. Guys blabbing on in some crazy language is only voices in your head. You need to get some professional help. That's right mate I am a raging gay psycho thanks for pointing that out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivan Drago Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 That's right mate I am a raging gay psycho thanks for pointing that out. judging from alwaysthereinspirits comment, he once phoned Melbourne City Council about a faulty parking meter and didnt get the help he was looking for Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legend Claws Posted May 21, 2008 Author Share Posted May 21, 2008 judging from alwaysthereinspirits comment, he once phoned Melbourne City Council about a faulty parking meter and didnt get the help he was looking for Aye another unhappy customer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makween Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Yep. To be honest I was half expecting a complaint (by e-mail) because I'd been a bit cheeky and avoided the ?30 limit on trains by splitting it between two claims, but I wasn't expecting kickback to be the medium of choice! Heh, if if gets past your approver I don't think the expenses team actually have to check that, they just put it on the system. I'm telling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walter Payton Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Heh, if if gets past your approver I don't think the expenses team actually have to check that, they just put it on the system. I'm telling Yep, just look for an expenses claim submitted by Clum's Choreographer... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makween Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Yep, just look for an expenses claim submitted by Clum's Choreographer... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boof Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Bruno's Boots - couldn't you get the dafties looking for a non-existent serial number, or make them tell you their car engine number, post code, bra size, anything or stand on one leg whilst scratching their erse? Be creative and make it a competition with your colleagues (if any of them have a sense of humour). You could have some fun with this...best put on an Aussie accent though - especially if you're the only Scot working there. You could've had a cracking yarn with the old dear and her steak - swap recipes, get invited around.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legend Claws Posted May 22, 2008 Author Share Posted May 22, 2008 Bruno's Boots - couldn't you get the dafties looking for a non-existent serial number, or make them tell you their car engine number, post code, bra size, anything or stand on one leg whilst scratching their erse?Be creative and make it a competition with your colleagues (if any of them have a sense of humour). You could have some fun with this...best put on an Aussie accent though - especially if you're the only Scot working there. You could've had a cracking yarn with the old dear and her steak - swap recipes, get invited around.... Haha I would love to have a laugh with them but we are too closely montiored! I did a month 'cleansing data' once and used to put on a variety of accents on each call. A favourite of mine was Ron Burgundy of Anchorman fame, used to sign off with 'I'm Ron Burgundy, you stay classy data owner' Or really lame ones like calling up and saying 'Hi this is Stephanie Jones' in my normal deep males voice and waiting to see if anyone picked up on the fact that I had used a girls name. Not once did anybody question it. The list goes on and on but it was a very funny job! May try some nonsense here in my last week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neave Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 Haha I would love to have a laugh with them but we are too closely montiored! I did a month 'cleansing data' once and used to put on a variety of accents on each call. A favourite of mine was Ron Burgundy of Anchorman fame, used to sign off with 'I'm Ron Burgundy, you stay classy data owner' Or really lame ones like calling up and saying 'Hi this is Stephanie Jones' in my normal deep males voice and waiting to see if anyone picked up on the fact that I had used a girls name. Not once did anybody question it. The list goes on and on but it was a very funny job! May try some nonsense here in my last week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legend Claws Posted May 23, 2008 Author Share Posted May 23, 2008 This happened this morning: The phone rings and I answer it and unsurprisingly the voice at the other end wants to report a faulty meter! - Okay can you please tell the meter number? The caller responds in a thick accent and I cannot make out if he is saying 'F' or 'S' - Okay so that is F for Foxtrot, S for Sierra, B for Bravo, T for Tango One Zero No no no it is (again he tells me and I cannot make out the difference between F and S) - Can you please spell out the letters like F for Foxtrot etc? Ah yes ok it is - F for F, S for S, B for B and T for T... The mind boggles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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