Thumb Up Emoji Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 After that zoomer getting arrested for doing a Nazi salute (on live TV). What's the thing you've done that's been your ultimate head-slap moment? Everyone's got one - mine is probably the time I run bollock naked down the main high street in Stirling, then ran away from the police and tried to hide behind the counter of a kebab shop only to get manhandled into the back of a meat wagon, my wee acorn sticking out for all to see. So aye. What's the daftest thing you've done that you really wish you hadn't? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sterling Archer Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Jumped through a shop window in newington then ran for my life. I expected it to be double glazing and it wasn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thumb Up Emoji Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 Jumped through a shop window in newington then ran for my life. I expected it to be double glazing and it wasn't. But... even if it was double glazing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benny Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Breach of the peace charge when I was a teenager.Drunk and did nowt but happened to be with the wrong crowd at the time. Was about to go home 20 mins earlier.If only. Plead guilty by letter,?15 fine,4 weeks to pay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Jumped through a shop window in newington then ran for my life. I expected it to be double glazing and it wasn't. Aye if it was double glazing it would have been less daft Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William H. Bonney Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Set fire to my hotel room in Amsterdam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Better call Saul Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Stuck my finger down a drain and got it stuck had to call the fire brigade ! The story was in the paper next day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mutley Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Stuck my finger down a drain and got it stuck had to call the fire brigade ! The story was in the paper next day How old we're you then? Please say adult Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thumb Up Emoji Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 Stuck my finger down a drain and got it stuck had to call the fire brigade ! The story was in the paper next day Coffee all over screen at this. What was the reason for putting it down there in the first place?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Better call Saul Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 I had my reasons I was young wink wink ! Event happened at the bird in hand at birdiehoose years ago Couple of journalists having lunch bloody loved all this that day Took pictures of my swollen finger Then I was famous ...for one day My mate dared my to try and get a coin that was visible or he would have beaten me up if I didn't try Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambo89 Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Took a dump in the middle of chambers street. Spent the rest if the night with one sock on. If I had got caught then could have been in real trouble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shapes Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Ran into the bus stop tonight and I'm in the royal waiting on an x ray on my left wrist which I've broken before Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angry Haggis Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Ran into the bus stop tonight and I'm in the royal waiting on an x ray on my left wrist which I've broken before Shan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groot Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Ran into the bus stop tonight and I'm in the royal waiting on an x ray on my left wrist which I've broken before Go and explain how the **** you managed that one then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FWJ Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 So how are you? Is it broken? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shapes Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Go and explain how the **** you managed that one then verdict is ligament damage. I have a splint to wear. Basically I was hammered and went to haymarket for the half 8 x38, saw the bus and ran with my hand out to call it and ran into the bus stop. arsehole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigC Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 verdict is ligament damage. I have a splint to wear. Basically I was hammered and went to haymarket for the half 8 x38, saw the bus and ran with my hand out to call it and ran into the bus stop. arsehole. This story gets funnier every time you tell it. Give us more details. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tian447 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 You know how some electrical items have separate fuse box things that are mounted on the wall next to them (hand driers in bathrooms are a good example because that's what this was). I put my finger in one when it was opened up and without a fuse (if that's what these things actually are) just to see what would happen. It hurt like **** and threw me back a considerable distance. Idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tian447 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Either that or trying to do a backflip on a BMX in the woods where there was a mud bike track. The ramp was massive and you could easily get enough height. A little bit of peer pressure, a lot of practise jumps and some teenage naivety and I gave it a go. I managed to get a 3/4 rotation and landed with the bike not all the way around, face first into the ground at a 90 degree angle. Broke 6 ribs, both my wrists and my collarbone, and messed my face up something chronic. Once again. Idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharpie Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Way back used to get my bus to Niddrie at the top of East Preston Street, and Dalkeith Road. The drivers got to know me and as it left the stop at Parkside Terrace they would slow down to let me jump on. This day I thought that bus is goin a wee bit fast, but they know its me. Not so, there was the polis, raincoat over one arm, one foot on the platform riding the bus like a kid on a skate board trying to get the other foot on the platform as the bus gained speed to Park Road stop. When it stopped I had to let go and head back home to change my boots, the sole of my left boot worn and flopping off after the failed effort of me trying to get on the bus. The biggest frustration was nobody would tell me who that replacement driver was so I could meet him and provide some counselling about safe driving habits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FWJ Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 verdict is ligament damage. I have a splint to wear. Basically I was hammered and went to haymarket for the half 8 x38, saw the bus and ran with my hand out to call it and ran into the bus stop. arsehole. Good to hear it's not broken.... But that's quite funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scots civil war Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 went down escalator at harrow shopping centre the wrong way it was akin to a michael jackson backwards walking move except i ended up in a crumpled heap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest C00l K1d Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Either that or trying to do a backflip on a BMX in the woods where there was a mud bike track. The ramp was massive and you could easily get enough height. A little bit of peer pressure, a lot of practise jumps and some teenage naivety and I gave it a go. I managed to get a 3/4 rotation and landed with the bike not all the way around, face first into the ground at a 90 degree angle. Broke 6 ribs, both my wrists and my collarbone, and messed my face up something chronic. Once again. Idiot. How had you practised for it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bighusref Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Everybody has got one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tian447 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 How had you practised for it? By doing the same jump without the backflip to make sure I had enough time to do it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deviskan Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 I've got a few...one that sticks out would be when I was about 19. I had just split with my first love (so was feeling slightly vulnerable), so I did what any bloke in my situation would do, and decided to get well and truly wasted at a party i'd been invited to. As it was the start of the 90's when rave culture was really kicking off, my particular brand of wasted was to drop 3 and a half 'Planets' Acid tabs...which wasn't a great idea on reflection. The people I was with pieced together some of what happened that night for me...as to this day I can only remember small flashes. I was fine, dancing away and enjoying myself...then it must have kicked in and I managed to get into a fight with a guy from Wester Hailes who was known for being a hard case...we got separated, I was pulled out the party and then ran off on my own. My first memory flash has me doing the running man in a white tiled room...when suddenly a hole in the door at the end of the room opened and someone was peering in at me laughing (not the best when you're still tripping off your face!). My first real memory was 'waking up' in the same room...my top, belt, shoes all missing and with blood all over my chest and someone is screaming in another room. The same hole in the door opens, and a bloke says to me 'have you calmed down yet son?'. It's at this stage I slowly realise I've been arrested...but have no idea why. The policeman eventually takes me to be fingerprinted...and gets all my details, before calling my father to get me. Upon his arrival, the rest of my evening is filled in...! Apparently I'd been running around the local neighbourhood bollock naked...and had jumped out on some unsuspecting couple and was raving like a complete lunatic. They called the police, who turned up shortly after...and I proceeded to fight with both officers (I had handcuff injuries where they put the cuffs on right up my arm, and must have dragged them down to my wrists)...although I cannot remember any of this, and only have a vague memory of a Policeman lying on top of me with my arms pulled behind my back. Luckily it was my first (and last) time in trouble with the Police...meaning I got off with visiting a Psychologist just off the Royal Mile to complete an assessment on me, and never actually got charged. I decided to give LSD a wide berth after this little experience! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamboman1512 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 some cracking stories in here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ribble Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Got drunk at a wedding and proposed to some burd I'd been seeing for a matter of months. Surprisingly we never made it down the aisle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neilson's Shank Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Any foxes out there tune out now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Chae Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Ran over my pal for a bet once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Set fire to my hotel room in Amsterdam. left a joint burning the mattress? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Party at a JKB poster's new flat. I got pilled up and headed out to the cash machine as someone had ordered some of the Colombian marching powder. I thought this was a very good idea; so on my way I "came up" like a rocket, didn't see the car.... Next thing I know i'm in the back of an ambulance heading to the Infirmary with a compound fracture of the fib/tib Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shanks said no Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Too many drunken ones so I will tell a sober one Aged about 10 my mothers electric Singer sewing machine fascinated me. I wasn't allowed near it so it made me even more curious. One night mum was downstairs with her mother blethering so I seized the opportunity to play with it. Got it powered up and worked out how to get the needle bobbing up and down. I realised that the foot pedal pressure would slow or speed it up. Now the very stupid bit. I decided to stick my finger under the needle and tap my fingernail. Not being a skilled seamstress my pressure on the pedal wasn't quite right and next thing I know is the needle shoots down right through my nail. I scream the house down and mum and gran arrive. I actually tried the "I fell against the machine" excuse. Very lucky to only lose my nail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Private Womble Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Climbing up the balconies from 1st floor to 14th when the old flats in oxgangs were still standing, could've killed myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Drunken escapades aside I'm not sure. Our first family computer was an Acorn Electron. I must've been around 6 years old and to check if the tape player had power to it (the green light didn't mean shit to me) I used to pull the jack out the back and stick it on my tongue. I think I liked the electric shock I got from it, not that I understood what it was. Doing the girders on the viaduct zig zag style, because we were invincible when we were 14. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy McNulty Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 I'm sitting back awaiting escapades from my fellow Canadian chum from the north.... Kidnapping or foxes. He can decide Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrambo Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 There's one poster I'm just waiting for here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William H. Bonney Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 left a joint burning the mattress? Side lamps were touching both pillows. The switch for them was in the middle of the headrest. I came back in, lay down and my head must have hit the switch. Woke up, on fire, my bed on fire, most of the room on fire. Started to panick and tried to hide the weed in my jeans pocket. Next thing I know, 2 fireman kick down my door. Got rushed out downstairs into a waiting ambulance for oxygen. Was interviewed by police then released when they released it wasn't my fault. Funny thing was my mate who was staying in the same hotel but on the top floor( his floor wasn't evacuated) came down to my room in the morning only to be confronted by a police tape over my burnt out room door. I got a full refund and a nice cow mug from the hotel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PsychocAndy Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 from 23/09/64 to 19/08/14 the whole lot is one big daft thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tian447 Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Side lamps were touching both pillows. The switch for them was in the middle of the headrest. I came back in, lay down and my head must have hit the switch. Woke up, on fire, my bed on fire, most of the room on fire. Started to panick and tried to hide the weed in my jeans pocket. Next thing I know, 2 fireman kick down my door. Got rushed out downstairs into a waiting ambulance for oxygen. Was interviewed by police then released when they released it wasn't my fault. Funny thing was my mate who was staying in the same hotel but on the top floor( his floor wasn't evacuated) came down to my room in the morning only to be confronted by a police tape over my burnt out room door. I got a full refund and a nice cow mug from the hotel. Priceless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest C00l K1d Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 There's one poster I'm just waiting for here... I hope you don't mean me. I don't do daft things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RustyRightPeg Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Sat and watched football with the bird. Unbelievably daft. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sydney Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Side lamps were touching both pillows. If that's not a euphemism, then it should be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PsychocAndy Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 If that's not a euphemism, then it should be. So friction caused the fire? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dusk_Till_Dawn Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Stupidly tried to change a light fitting without turning the electricity off on Sunday. Got the biggest electric shock I've ever had. I'd like to laugh about it but it was scary as **** and I'm not entirely sure how lucky I am to be alive. Shook my whole body for about five seconds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pennywise Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Stupidly tried to change a light fitting without turning the electricity off on Sunday. Got the biggest electric shock I've ever had. I'd like to laugh about it but it was scary as **** and I'm not entirely sure how lucky I am to be alive. Shook my whole body for about five seconds Ive had a few belts at work, never get used to it. Was doing the lights at Craigswood gym. All the lights go back to one LCM, which was above the ceiling in a bathroom. One of the lights was flickering so i stuck my head above the ceiling to check if the plug was in. I could see the LCM but my view was obstructed, so i just put my hand up to 'feel about'. Erse. The cover hadn't been put back on, put my hand right on a live cable. Its the most horrible feeling ever. Felt like my filling was going to pop in my mouth. Apprentice was laughing like hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RustyRightPeg Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Stupidly, my first job when I was a painter & decorator was varnishing a floor. Daft me painted myself into a corner and instead of letting it dry I tried to quickly prance over the wet varnish, slipped, skelped the back of my heed and had to get 5 staples. Boss was p*****g himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homme Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Stupidly, my first job when I was a painter & decorator was varnishing a floor. Daft me painted myself into a corner and instead of letting it dry I tried to quickly prance over the wet varnish, slipped, skelped the back of my heed and had to get 5 staples. Boss was p*****g himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Internet Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 There's not many for me. Angrily booting the boards at the Pitz at Sighthill, breaking a bone in my foot, would have to be up there though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambofeez Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Was outside a chippy once steamin drunk,threw a broon sauce covered sausage at my mate,he ducked and it skudded a polis woman sqaure in the chops Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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