Sarah O Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I was so drunk in Magaluf I sucked about 20 dicks for a ?3 euro bottle on sparkling white wine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabba Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I was so drunk in Magaluf I sucked about 20 dicks for a ?3 euro bottle on sparkling white wine. Girls will be girls. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmfc_liam06 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Remember a time when at Uni in Dundee me and a few others were walking back to the flat after a big night out. Come across a shopping trolley at the top of a steep hill so naturally I dared someone to get in it. No one did. So I thought **** it, I'll do it. My mate then proceeded to push me down this steep hill... Going at a fair rate, I come to my senses half way down as I realised at the bottom of this hill there was a crossroad and I really didn't fancy taking that risk. I tried to manoeuvre the trolley, ended up smashing it against a kerb only for me to go flying out of the trolley and into a shop window. Luckily the window had the shutters down! It certainly hurt the next morning! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hearts007 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 bought a round Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrambo Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I've been sacked before whilst playing steaming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Chat Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Had a crap in a licky-windae bus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NRJ1966 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Used to hang out In the Hard Rock Caf? at the Playhouse in the 80's and got a bit too friendly with an Angels old lady - every now and then I get a wee ache in my jaw Hahaha Dagger, was always an interesting night at the HardRock/Madisons quite a few characters.....mind having a similar situation in reverse.... trying to extricate my then girlfriend from an amorous big Angel fortunately his pals seemed to think he was an idiot as well, my arse was flapping mind. Anyway as far as idiocy when drunk... I once climbed all the way up the ladders on the back of a fire engine outside the Doctors pub.....turned out the fire brigade were actually attending a really big fire nearby. Apologies to the Fire service for being a drunken arsehole and interfering with their work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego10 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I have literally never done anything stupid or impulsive, drunk or sober. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoddy84 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Nah, sense prevailed in the end. Kind of wish I had now that the Sunday night dread is kicking in. I did know someone who was out for a massive sesh one night and he and his mate went back to their flat, picked up their passports and booked a one way ticket to Berlin (I think - somewhere on the continent anyway). They got there, had nowhere to stay, next to no money and no way of getting home. One of them had to get their dad to pay for their return flight! Boys from South Edinburgh per chance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosanostra Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Drank a candle What was the result of this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remnants of Standards Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 ^^ Meltdown i imagine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G.Wright Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 What was the result of this? Surprisingly wasn't painful, pretty much solidified as soon as it went in my mouth and my tounge was coated in wax which was a pita to get off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Comedian Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Topical. Bought two TITP tickets last night while gubbed. Full weekend efforts. My burd cannot go and I barely want to see anything there. Desperately trying to shift them onto my brother. Gonna have to go upto the box office to pass them on an everything. Probably 400 blabs flushed down the dunny. What a complete shambles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosanostra Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 There's been a few. Stole a giant, serrated edge bread knife from a restaurant in Venice once. We bought a calzone and I must have realised that we had no cutlery in our hotel room. Found it in my shorts a couple of days later. What an arse. The night before Buchanan Galleries in Glasgow opened, my flatmate and I found some High-vis vests, yellow hard-hats and some massive wire brooms outside the site so wore them, walked around the site for hours speaking to all the workies who were frantically clearing up for opening in the morning. We kept on asking if they knew where "Boaby" was because he asked us to speak to him about some bricks. Did if for a couple of hours and then left with our hats, vests and brushes which stayed in our hallway cupboard until we moved out. Idiots. I tripped up a bouncer once in Trash in Glasgow. Thought he would find it funny. He didn't and I got aggressively ejected. Idiot. Pushed a North African drug dealer in the face into a metal shop shutter after he put his hands on me in the Gothic Quadrant in Barcelona in the middle of the night. He went mental, I thought I was going to end up being stabbed. Two racist English skinhead thugs intervened and the day was saved. So stupid. Found a massive bag of the days newspapers outside the village shop at Strathclyde Uni at about 5am and delivered them to every hall of residence in the village. Idiot. Fell through an antique stained glass window door thing and caused a girl to be bitten by a hedgehog at the same party. Think I've told those before on here. Got a rook piercing in Camden Town when I was blazing from an even more blazing chick at a party. She put it in backwards, it bled everywhere and then got infected. Sore as hell. Hid everyone's shoes at a party once. Shoes were still turning up months later. Denied all knowledge. Arsehole thing to do. Invited a lunatic jakey into another kickbacker's house once at a party while I was hanging out of a window talking to passers by. The jakey went mental and tried to sell us a sword. Kickbacker was unhappy. Farted on a work colleagues head once at a work Christmas night out after-party as he was almost in tears at losing the ?400 iphone he'd just bought. Walked into the room, full of colleagues, grabbed his head, busted one out, shouted "that's what am' talkin' about" and turned and left the roon again. People still remind me about that one. That'll do for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sterling Archer Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I jumped through a shop window. It wasn't double glazed and I went right through. Climbed out and ran the whole way home. Shop was apparently owned by a local hard man... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosanostra Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Surprisingly wasn't painful, pretty much solidified as soon as it went in my mouth and my tounge was coated in wax which was a pita to get off What about your throat and oeosaphagus? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagger Is Back Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 There's been a few. Stole a giant, serrated edge bread knife from a restaurant in Venice once. We bought a calzone and I must have realised that we had no cutlery in our hotel room. Found it in my shorts a couple of days later. What an arse. The night before Buchanan Galleries in Glasgow opened, my flatmate and I found some High-vis vests, yellow hard-hats and some massive wire brooms outside the site so wore them, walked around the site for hours speaking to all the workies who were frantically clearing up for opening in the morning. We kept on asking if they knew where "Boaby" was because he asked us to speak to him about some bricks. Did if for a couple of hours and then left with our hats, vests and brushes which stayed in our hallway cupboard until we moved out. Idiots. I tripped up a bouncer once in Trash in Glasgow. Thought he would find it funny. He didn't and I got aggressively ejected. Idiot. Pushed a North African drug dealer in the face into a metal shop shutter after he put his hands on me in the Gothic Quadrant in Barcelona in the middle of the night. He went mental, I thought I was going to end up being stabbed. Two racist English skinhead thugs intervened and the day was saved. So stupid. Found a massive bag of the days newspapers outside the village shop at Strathclyde Uni at about 5am and delivered them to every hall of residence in the village. Idiot. Fell through an antique stained glass window door thing and caused a girl to be bitten by a hedgehog at the same party. Think I've told those before on here. Got a rook piercing in Camden Town when I was blazing from an even more blazing chick at a party. She put it in backwards, it bled everywhere and then got infected. Sore as hell. Hid everyone's shoes at a party once. Shoes were still turning up months later. Denied all knowledge. Arsehole thing to do. Invited a lunatic jakey into another kickbacker's house once at a party while I was hanging out of a window talking to passers by. The jakey went mental and tried to sell us a sword. Kickbacker was unhappy. Farted on a work colleagues head once at a work Christmas night out after-party as he was almost in tears at losing the ?400 iphone he'd just bought. Walked into the room, full of colleagues, grabbed his head, busted one out, shouted "that's what am' talkin' about" and turned and left the roon again. People still remind me about that one. That'll do for now. So much to comment on but bitten by a hedgehog? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosanostra Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 So much to comment on but bitten by a hedgehog? It was trapped in a net in the back garden and I freed it with the help of oven gloves. I then took it upstairs to someone who was either a doctor or a vet (can't quite remember) and put it on someone's shoulder for a laugh. She tried to hug it. It bit her and she had to go to hospital for a tetanus jag. Not my finest moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 [quote name=G.Wright' timestamp='1404765758' post='4309371] Surprisingly wasn't painful, pretty much solidified as soon as it went in my mouth and my tounge was coated in wax which was a pita to get off No doubt trying to eat The Merciless Peppers of Quetzalacatenango. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gadgey55 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Got a rook piercing in Camden Town when I was blazing from an even more blazing chick at a party. She put it in backwards, it bled everywhere and then got infected. Sore as hell. A whit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosanostra Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 A whit? Inner ear cartilage. Google image search it. Hurt like ****. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
droid Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Walking home from Century2000 stole a Saltire Flag from a guest house flag pole near Cameron Toll, woke up wrapped in the flag in the middle of the Meadows despite heading to Inch and being literaly a few minutes away. When Moredun flats were being renovated, I left the robins nest to head to a house party instead I climbed the scaffolding all the way to the roof and back down again, banging on anyone I knews windows in the process. I'm terrified of heights as well. Every single Cup Final/Semi Final I've managed to miss my supporters bus back home through having absolutely no recollection of where the bus was parked and only managed it back through the kindness of fellow supporters buses(Liverpool was a major risk for me but thankfully got back in one peace). To name a few. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagger Is Back Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 It was trapped in a net in the back garden and I freed it with the help of oven gloves. I then took it upstairs to someone who was either a doctor or a vet (can't quite remember) and put it on someone's shoulder for a laugh. She tried to hug it. It bit her and she had to go to hospital for a tetanus jag. Not my finest moment. Stories of appropriated road work signs etc pale into insignificance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 How at risk are we here if we admit something criminal? Someone admitted to kicking a fox to death on here a while back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muppetboy Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Someone admitted to kicking a fox to death on here a while back. That's some sinister shit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sexton Hardcastle Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Mate had an empty many years ago. Me and another boy thought it would be a laugh to dress up when we found his folks wedding outfits. His maw still has the hump about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cliffundo Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Took a woman home when the wife was sleeping upstairs. Twice. PPFFTT!!!!!!! oh ya f**** lol what happened? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig Gordons Gloves Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I worked a summer in a local hotel before going to Uni, myself, another waiter and 3 of the chefs went out on a Tuesday night in said small town and drank as if it was our last night on earth. Upon leaving the pub, we spotted the big trolley outside the co-op so wheeled it up the main street and then took turns riding it down the hill. The hill in question was the a702 and was always busy with lorries going on the edinburgh - m74 route. I narrowly missed one as i came careering down the street. So we gave up on that and walked 3 miles back to my mates house in a small village where we were all staying (as we had to be up to do the breakfast shift at 6am). A new primary school was being built in the village and was nearly done, so instead of going to bed, we all decided to 'break in' and have some fun. This fun turned out to be stealing wheelie chairs meant for the teachers and going for a birl around the village. Unaware that my mate lived 3 doors down from the Chief Superintendant from Hamilton police station we were wheeling ourselves down the main street when apparently the polisman looked out his window to see 5 heads rolling by at the top of his hedge (we were sitting down obviously). We ditched the chairs in the field behind my mates house and went to bed. Couple of days later, all of us receive a visit from the local police (the sergeant happened to be the dad of the girl i was seeing at the time) with the message that "we know it was you 5 and if the chairs aren't returned by the end of today then it's charges'. Fortunately we retrieved them all and got away with it. That appeared to herald the start of my 'stealing random things while drunk' period as i went off to uni in Dundee and built a very impressive collection of road signs, cones, yellow warning lights and a full set of temporary traffic lights. I also ended up with a large scar on my chin, caused by landing face first on the Forfar road while retrieving a for sale sign from a garden. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Currahee! Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 PPFFTT!!!!!!! oh ya f**** lol what happened? Nothing. She never woke up to catch me. The 2nd time we were only in for 5 minutes before I came to my senses. The 1st time was a different matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Merse Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Climbed the pentlands at 4am after a night in the Cav. No idea what the motivation for that was. Booked flights to Amsterdam for the next morning for me and my mate. No idea how that came about - ridiculous. Went and got sparkled for another 3 days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavman33 Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Broke into student halls and stole a can of diet fanta Was nice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franco Fascione Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I went to a boxing night some where in East Ham. After a few beers and a delayed start to the fight night, I went to find the toilet and to ask some one when the bloody boxing was going to start. Well, I accidentally walked into one of the changing rooms to find one of the boxers and his buddies getting ready to go out to the ring. They thought I was one of the officials so I grabbed a towel slung it over my shoulder and did 'the walk' out to the boxing ring, giving my 5 friends a wee wave as I went past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tommythejambo Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Ended up getting stranded/lost in Dingwall after not getting into our 2-1 win over County last season. Missed the last train home and all sorts. Looking back it was funny, but when you're aimlessly wondering streets in a town you don't know, after losing your phone, you're not having a good time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G.Wright Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 What about your throat and oeosaphagus? No adverse effects that I recall, I was hammered though. I had said to a mate I'll give you 10 euros to drink bag candle, he quite rightly said no, and i thought well someone's got to do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cosanostra Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 No adverse effects that I recall, I was hammered though. I had said to a mate I'll give you 10 euros to drink bag candle, he quite rightly said no, and i thought well someone's got to do it. Seems fair. Did the wax not harden all down your throat though? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginga Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Tried a bottle El Dorado on top of lots of other drinks, decided to go to visit my sister in Inverkeithing, road were no my preferred method of transport - walked along the railway, didn't manage to get onto the rail bridge so tried the road bridge. Got halway across about 4 in the morning and decided to climb a scaffold - down under the roadway - spent about 2 hours finding my way along between girders before finding my way back up to the roadway only to find loads of police thinking I had jumped, good kicking later I arrived at my sisters only to find she was not in - so after a long walk back to Gorgie I have never touche El D again..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ardwick1888 Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 One Easter a few years back me and 2 mates in a pub in Switon and dcided to go to Dunnret Headp the most norttherly bpoint in the UK. . Got the Van Next day, A 3 door Viva From Salford van Hiire. Sky Blue Livery with Salforf van hire on the side , sett of to Edinburgh, Past there kept goin north Cu a . ltong sory short we made Dunnet Head. bllusery and f**kin windy, Stayed for a while then the trip back via Ullapool ahd down the west side. Pulled by cops in Dumfries, apart from that the trip was top no \1250 Miles on the clock when thev van went back on Mon mornin, more booze an shite but that trip was fookin gret. Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HMFC-1874 Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Was on a night out once ended up hammered, left a club, walked around half an hour for a taxi (none would take me) I sobered up a wee bit and seen a heaving taxi rank. I could not be bothered waiting and told the steward that my girlfriend was going into labour and I needed a taxi ASAP (complete lie, done the trick though skipped the entire cue) Still feel slightly bad... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Caine Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 One Easter a few years back me and 2 mates in a pub in Switon and dcided to go to Dunnret Headp the most norttherly bpoint in the UK. . Got the Van Next day, A 3 door Viva From Salford van Hiire. Sky Blue Livery with Salforf van hire on the side , sett of to Edinburgh, Past there kept goin north Cu a . ltong sory short we made Dunnet Head. bllusery and f**kin windy, Stayed for a while then the trip back via Ullapool ahd down the west side. Pulled by cops in Dumfries, apart from that the trip was top no \1250 Miles on the clock when thev van went back on Mon mornin, more booze an shite but that trip was fookin gret. Mike Does this post count as one of the most stupid things you have done whilst pissed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King prawn Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Weekend trip to Brussels after a night at Delerium (2004 different beers 10%+ = dangerous) ended up at a party somewhere (somehow), supposedly got engaged to a Norwegian girl. Didn't believe it but a selection of photos of me bending down on one knee, her looking happy and a ring on the finger seem to suggest otherwise. Somewhere in this world I have a fiancee.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Far too many to mention, hence why I'm now tea total, however here's one that springs to mind. Had just bought a flat with my bird and moved in a couple of weeks or so, but went on a night oot with the pals and forgot that I didn't stay at my mum and dads no more, so went back there to find that my room didn't have my bed in it (I had taken it with me to the new house) so I decided to rip up the carpet in the hallway and sleep under it. My mum shit herself when she awoke to see the floor bevelled beyond belief on the Sunday morning. I was fully under the carpet, **** knows how I got to sleep! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Chae Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Weekend trip to Brussels after a night at Delerium (2004 different beers 10%+ = dangerous) ended up at a party somewhere (somehow), supposedly got engaged to a Norwegian girl. Didn't believe it but a selection of photos of me bending down on one knee, her looking happy and a ring on the finger seem to suggest otherwise. Somewhere in this world I have a fiancee.. Pics plz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bindy Badgy Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Very nearly bought an 800 quid guitar I hadn't tried out. Went into a shop a few weeks later, tried one and hated it. It was a Randy Rhoads V and I couldn't get used to the shape. Didn't like the sound much either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harko Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Very nearly bought an 800 quid guitar I hadn't tried out. Went into a shop a few weeks later, tried one and hated it. It was a Randy Rhoads V and I couldn't get used to the shape. Didn't like the sound much either. Never tried one of his guitars but my oh my - he could play Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Le Clos Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Stole a cow. Also, once threw a spikey pole at the best player in my football team. Stabbed him in the leg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pans Jambo Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Dont know why but if im walking home pist. I like to up-end any herris fencing that I happen upon. Guess its the "this will keep them out" (no it effin wont) mentality within me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalamazoo Jambo Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Kicked someone's cat flap in. Not a euphemism, BTW. It was an actual cat flap. I destroyed it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pans Jambo Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Melted ?700 on the credit card on a mountain bike up the bridges a few years back whilst on a sesh in Edinburgh. Got talking to a mountain biking mate who was with me at the time & I thought it was a great idea! Got a phone call about a week later from the shop asking when I was coming in to collect it. Got a big flash back during that call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Les Izemore Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Seriously too many to mention, but the topper must be waking up in a different country after crashing out twatted. Thailand and India, btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RudiHMFC Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 Loads of shit, jumped into the sea at whitley bay at about 3 in the morning (wrecked obviously) as a dare, water was only up to my waist but i thought i was going to die from hypothermia, probably the stupidest thing tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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