Guest Bilel Mohsni Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I really struggle with it. I'm 34 and I can't put it out of my mind sometimes. It's the loneliest thing one will ever do, and it is inescapable... My wife's, sister's best mate is 42 and she has just told us that she is terminally ill with cancer. She was diagnosed with breast cancer three years ago, and had a mastectomy and went in to recovery. She has now been diagnosed as having lung cancer and its 90odd% likely to kill her. I find that really difficult to understand and accept. The difficult part is seeing that person and realising they are on a clipped fuse, and that everything else is now really unimportant and insignificant. Life is a pretty tough gig, and as difficult as it is to believe, it's better to experience it than not. Sorry, just a bit depressed about this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DougieHMFC Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 The thought of death absolutely terrifies me and I get visibly upset when it is being discussed or I think about it. I pray it gets easier to deal with the older you get Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bilel Mohsni Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 The thought of death absolutely terrifies me and I get visibly upset when it is being discussed or I think about it. I pray it gets easier to deal with the older you get Was speaking to my elderly mum and step dad about it tonight, and I'm not convinced it gets easier. It honestly terrifies me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorgiewave Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 My mother died aged 36 when she was about to start university. Imbibing the real Sir David Attenborough is enough to convince one that we are participating in "The Greatest Show on Earth". One thing I'm sure of: the dead have no clue they're dead and suffer considerably less than us. Learn to love the chaos, as Bob Dylan said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I have a horrible fear of being one of those people that dies and is found days or weeks later as nobody has missed them. I know of a couple of people this has happened to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barney Rubble Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Its not being dead that scares me its the actual event im not comfortable with ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Gotta live life to the full and not worry about it - as tough as it may be for some people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hughesie27 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 No point wasting time worrying about the inevitable. Much better to spend your time worrying that when the inevitable happens, you aren't lying there regretting letting the anxiety disable you from living a fuller life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bilel Mohsni Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I don't care about the circumstances surrounding my corpse, who misses me, how long I'm lying there, what people think... I am terrified about the actual moment of realisation, just before I stop living... It's a truly harrowing thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graygo Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Strangely enough I was thinking earlier today that when my son is the age I am now I'll probably be gone I'm 49 this month and he's 23, can't see me getting anywhere near 75. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floyd Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I have a horrible fear of being one of those people that dies and is found days or weeks later as nobody has missed them. I know of a couple of people this has happened to. I'm the same, that freaks me out more than anything when I think about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bilel Mohsni Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I'm the same, that freaks me out more than anything when I think about it. Why though? Surely the moment your last breath leaves you is a scarier thought, than what happens to the mush left behind? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt.Speirs Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 The hardest thing that gets me is when I look at my kids (9 & 5) is that we are not always going to be together. Stupid I know, sometimes I would love to freeze certain moments in time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bilel Mohsni Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Not stupid at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3fingersreid Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I know that there are a good number on here who decry those who believe in god ( whichever one they follow) but religion maybe helps to give some a comfort that it might not be the end for them (I'm not looking for this to go the way of a debate on religion it's just my opinion on it ) My feelings on death I don't want to go the way of my dad 18 slow months of pain (prostate cancer which spread )and as he said if I was a dog they'd allow me to be put to sleep with dignity as Marco had posted it's not the dying it's the how that is more of a worry but at the moment life is for living SDA sorry to hear your news but you must try to look forward Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy_Jambo Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Just think though... nae mare work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peebo Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 On the upside, none of you are likely to see Hibs winning the cup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bilel Mohsni Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I know that there are a good number on here who decry those who believe in god ( whichever one they follow) but religion maybe helps to give some a comfort that it might not be the end for them (I'm not looking for this to go the way of a debate on religion it's just my opinion on it ) My feelings on death I don't want to go the way of my dad 18 slow months of pain (prostate cancer which spread )and as he said if I was a dog they'd allow me to be put to sleep with dignity as Marco had posted it's not the dying it's the how that is more of a worry but at the moment life is for living SDA sorry to hear your news but you must try to look forward Wish I could believe in God, it would turn my life upside down and I would be extremely happy... I would just be lying to myself though. Cheers though. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not manic depressant or suicidal or anything. Quite the opposite in fact, I love being alive and want to live forever. I am just shit scared of dying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DougieHMFC Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I don't care about the circumstances surrounding my corpse, who misses me, how long I'm lying there, what people think... I am terrified about the actual moment of realisation, just before I stop living... It's a truly harrowing thought. That's it for me as well. If i was ever told I had a few weeks to live I would never be one of those people who go out and live it to the full, I'd turn into a total mess. The thought of not existing makes me feel sick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graygo Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 On the upside, none of you are likely to see Hibs winning the cup. To be fair neither are any grandchildren that we may have in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bilel Mohsni Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 That's it for me as well. If i was ever told I had a few weeks to live I would never be one of those people who go out and live it to the full, I'd turn into a total mess. The thought of not existing makes me feel sick Yep. I'm actually quite selfish about the whole thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floyd Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Why though? Surely the moment your last breath leaves you is a scarier thought, than what happens to the mush left behind? I don't know why I feel like that, probably a combination of fear that no one really gives a shit or that it would mean I had fecked things up in my life?? It's a strange one though as my other worry is knowing I won't be around for Little Miss Floyd forever, that's a tough one to get my head around and has been said already, I almost want to freeze time when she's around to make it last longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 On the upside, none of you are likely to see Hibs winning the cup. Doubt anyone immortal would see it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bilel Mohsni Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I don't know why I feel like that, probably a combination of fear that no one really gives a shit or that it would mean I had fecked things up in my life?? It's a strange one though as my other worry is knowing I won't be around for Little Miss Floyd forever, that's a tough one to get my head around and has been said already, I almost want to freeze time when she's around to make it last longer. That's quite an interesting outlook actually. I'm the opposite though. I am quite relieved that I'm four years older than my wife. I would hate to die alone and I'll most likely have my wife and any kids I have with me when I go. I'd hate to out-live my kids or wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smack Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 In my line of work you come into conversation with pensioners all the time. I always imagined that when you hit 70 or 75 you'd be on tiptoes looking round the corner for the reaper. Having seen a few eighty odd year olds trying to get their hole, a couple of guys in their mid seventies scrapping, my perspective of ageing was changed a bit. These boys were living the same way they did when they were young bucks. In real terms, the most significant life event they can expect is the reaper visiting. If they don't give a **** then neither do I. I could stop smoking and add on a year or three at the end. I could stop drinking and add another 5 or 6. I could exercise more and eat more healthily and add another 4 or 5. **** it. I like doing the things I do. If I only get 50 or 60 years out of it....so be it. As long as they are good ones. It's going to happen, and it could happen any day regardless of what you do. This post was sponsored by Satan. For all your indulgent needs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girvanjambo Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Lost both parents recently, and the phrase "Life's too short" comes more and more into play, I'm 49 next week. I have definitely noticed I'm trying to do more while I still can, and if somebody fancies a pint on a school night I'll be there, whereas when I was younger, I'd have stayed in. As for the moment of realisation that the games a bogey, would much rather have that than contract a debilitating disease and not know anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GlasgoJambo Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Eternity is a much scarier concept. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maple Leaf Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I've been with people when they died. In each case, death came to them peacefully. They just slipped quietly away. The breathing got slower and slower, and shallower and shallower, and eventually stopped. There was no fear, no regrets, no panic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snake Plissken Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 If I'd been hit by bus at 25, I would have felt like I'd wasted a lot of my life. Not so much now. I'm happy I'm not stuck in a dead-end job earning just enough to keep a roof over my head anymore. The last two years have been great and I hope the next few years will follow suit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beats Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 The thought absolutely terrifies me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Currahee! Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I'm not too bothered about it tbh. I don't think about it so don't dwell on it. 1 thing is though it will happen. Hopefully in my sleep when I'm old and not through illness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambo89 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I rarely think about it. It's inevitable and could happen anytime. I'm not religious but I can understand the comfort that people's faith may give them. When I do think about it I have various scenarios that I use to rationalise it a bit. For example it's the circle of life and me dieing will enable me grand kids (I'm not even close to that stage yet) to have kids and enable them to have that joy. As for me, I tell myself I'll live on in people's hearts and memories etc. One thing that I found helped a bit, though not pleasent. Is sorting the what happens afterwards. Trust Fund for kids, wills, the practical stuff. Might scare the shit out of some people but I get comfort from knowing that if worst was to happen to me the ones I love will be sorted. As someone else said life is for living. It's a bit like your weekends you can spend your time worrying that Monday x away or you can enjoy it. One is way more productive and beneficial than the other. Spot on! Although I really don't understand how people could take comfort in believing in a higher power/after life! If it was me there would be a creeping doubt that I would end up down there! That's terrifying! For me I think it would be peaceful. The thought of knowing that you will live forever by the mark you left on the planet, I think, would give me some peace. I would like that to be my last thought anyway. The butterfly analogy that when it flaps its wings in Brazil it causes a Tsunami in Japan. I feel like that and that my simple presence on the earth has changed it (albeit in a tiny way) and even through death, as my body decomposes and all the nutrients/chemicals are returned to the earth, this will be absorbed by someone/something. I find it re-assuring and hope i wouldn't fear death as per the OP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
syndicalist Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 It's not death that saddens me, but the way people live their lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jack D and coke Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 What makes it worse is the speed time seems to go by me now. It doesn't seem that long ago I turned 30 then I was dreading turning 40 and now I'm only a few months away from 41!! Sheeeeeit! You realise your probably more than likely past the half way point and only have 10-15 really good years left in you. FFS..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Nothing to fear and nothing to doubt. Stop thinking about and get on with living. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wibble Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 People I knew who have died, all handled it much better than those around them. When your time comes you will probably feel that all your worrying was a waste of effort. Think a lot about living and forget about dying until later, there'll be plenty of time when your near that moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floyd Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Feck it, in just going to get cryogenically frozen. Defrost me when you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craigieboy Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Good topic & worthy of discussion. I don't want to die. Especially young. But it's going to happen one day. I sometimes look at myself in the mirror & think 'one day you'll be in a crematorium furnace, being consumed with fire & reduced to a pile of dust'. What a morbid thought. I've found it helpful to use my aversion to death as a motivating factor in living a pretty decent life. I'm fortunate to earn decent money in a short amount of time. We don't just 'get by'. We're able to do plenty & give our 3 kids a great life. I've got lots of free time so I've been able to take on a regular position at a charity (food bank) which I find really rewarding & I'd like to do more. You've simply got to fill your life with not only the stuff you enjoy, but you MUST use it to help others. Think about the kind of things you'd like to be said of you when you're gone. Do you want up be known as s selfish money making machine who did **** all for anyone? I really feel that I could put a brave face on in the event of a terminal illness on my own part. But if anything were to happen to my kids you'd be as well taking me out and shooting me. I just can't come to terms with anything ever happening to them. I feel I'd simply cease to function physically & mentally. Even just the thought of it makes me really really upset. It's a horrible thing. Death. But you can overcome the fear of it to some extent. By using your life while your healthy to do good things. Imagine being on your death bed & saying to yourself "I worked too much. I didn't spend enough time with my kids or my family". It's too late. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deevers Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 One of my uncles suffered a massive heart attack in hospital and was clinically dead for a few minutes prior to being revived. He swore that he had a "Near Death Experiance". He had the out of body experiance and spoke about floating above the trolley his body was on watching the medics working on him and then suddenly entering a vortex and being propelled towards a very bright light just before he regained conscesnous. He was never a religious or spiritual person prior to this, however after it he always believed that we all survive death in some way. I see that a growing number of quantum physicists now believe in the concept of a "spiritual soul" and it's survival in some other place after the physical death of the body. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabba Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Hopefully the theory about massive doses of DMT being released in the body just prior to death are true. If that's the case you won't need to worry much about going out because you'll be tripping out ur nut. I really used to struggle with death and what comes next and I had trouble sleeping during my early teens and used to get really depressed. My RE teacher (an ex minister and very open minded guy) once asked if we remembered before we were born. If there were any negative thoughts about that time. He reasoned that there was absolutely no reason to worry about after we die as it's just the same thing. It's just the way we think about time and struggle with the idea of things being finite or not. I reached a stage were I just thought "**** it" and I don't let it worry me too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabba Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 One of my uncles suffered a massive heart attack in hospital and was clinically dead for a few minutes prior to being revived. He swore that he had a "Near Death Experiance". He had the out of body experiance and spoke about floating above the trolley his body was on watching the medics working on him and then suddenly entering a vortex and being propelled towards a very bright light just before he regained conscesnous. He was never a religious or spiritual person prior to this, however after it he always believed that we all survive death in some way. I see that a growing number of quantum physicists now believe in the concept of a "spiritual soul" and it's survival in some other place after the physical death of the body. He was wrecked mate, that's the DMT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FWJ Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I don't care about the circumstances surrounding my corpse, who misses me, how long I'm lying there, what people think... I am terrified about the actual moment of realisation, just before I stop living... It's a truly harrowing thought. All the stories you hear about people that have been "dead" and then revived have said how peaceful it all is. There's quite a lot of theories and philosophical thinking about awareness of our mortality being the price we pay for being smart and sentient. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deevers Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 He was wrecked mate, that's the DMT. http://www.sott.net/article/268769-Quantum-physics-proves-that-there-is-an-afterlife-claims-scientist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feed The Goat Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Never thought about it until my wee dog had to go to sleep on monday. Definitely want to go peacefully and pain free though. Don't think I could handle hearing words like "you have 6 months" or anything along those lines. Milo passing away made me realise how short life is so gonna sign up for Edinburgh half marathon, spend WAAAAYYYYYY more time with my wife and kids and generally enjoy life more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabba Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 http://www.sott.net/article/268769-Quantum-physics-proves-that-there-is-an-afterlife-claims-scientist Interesting stuff, I'll give it a read later. I think you have to approach the whole thing with a sense of adventure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deevers Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Interesting stuff, I'll give it a read later. I think you have to approach the whole thing with a sense of adventure. Exactly - worrying about it is useless. Personally speaking if I wake up on the other side and find that there is nothing there, I will be very, very disappointed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PortyJambo Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I'm not too bothered about it tbh. I don't think about it so don't dwell on it. 1 thing is though it will happen. Hopefully in my sleep when I'm old and not through illness. I'm the same, don't worry about death but don't want to spend my time up to it in constant pain. Happy to go quietly in my sleep. The only time I worry about it is if I think of the people left behind like my wife and how they deal with it, for that reason I hope she goes first and it's me that has to deal with the aftermath. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juan Rom?n Riquelme Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Not frightened of my own death at all. I'm ready for it whenever it comes. I'm terrified of my family and friends dying though. I've never had anyone really close to me die and I don't know if I'll cope when it happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HMFC4ME Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I don't really care that I will die one day, as I know that I'll be at ultimate peace once its done so there's no fear, what I'm more worried about is A) how I go, B)How others around me will cope. I dont like the thought of people around me dying that's harder to bear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JT1959 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Not frightened of my own death at all. I'm ready for it whenever it comes. I'm terrified of my family and friends dying though. I've never had anyone really close to me die and I don't know if I'll cope when it happens. We are not with our friends and family 24 hours during the day/week, we may not see a close relative or friend for weeks or months at a time. When we think of them however, we think of them fondly. Having lost people close to me I still think of them as being with us, in as much that he would have thought this, or she would have done that. Much in the same way you do now with someone who is still with us but you haven't seen for ages, he would get his kill if he was here etc. It is only the body that has died, their influence, character, approach to life etc all remain with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
64,113
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.