Captain Price Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Well KB over to you. I'll start, started at the works night out, after drinking countless amounts of tequila, we had a little game. All the girls lined up in two rows of 8, and all the guys had to crawl under their legs, and the fastest group to get through would win. I was last in my group, and proceeded to go on my back and look up towards the girls. Cue most of them standing on me and getting a formal warning at work 2 weeks later. However 2 of the girls weren't bothered that I looked up their skirts, and later on took one of them back to my mates flat and...y'no. I left work two weeks later. Over to you kickback Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beats Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Ask me on Saturday morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Great Khali Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Ask me on Saturday morning You're on thin ice as it is mate. Should maybe sit this one out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest C00l K1d Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 A formal warning for something that happened on a night out? **** that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest C00l K1d Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Ask me on Saturday morning Do you not need a job first Beats so you can go on a work night out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beats Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 You're on thin ice as it is mate. Should maybe sit this one out? No chance. Do you not need a job first Beats so you can go on a work night out? What you being like that for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Great Khali Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Bit harsh morph Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graygo Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 I had been flirting with the office hottie for ages and we were having a carry on at the xmas night out at the corn exchange and for some reason and I've no idea how it came about, I had her in a headlock. This resulted in me getting a swift left hook to the baws. That was 10 years ago, married her two months ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Well KB over to you. I'll start, started at the works night out, after drinking countless amounts of tequila, we had a little game. All the girls lined up in two rows of 8, and all the guys had to crawl under their legs, and the fastest group to get through would win. I was last in my group, and proceeded to go on my back and look up towards the girls. Cue most of them standing on me and getting a formal warning at work 2 weeks later. However 2 of the girls weren't bothered that I looked up their skirts, and later on took one of them back to my mates flat and...y'no. I left work two weeks later. Over to you kickback Weird! I just saw a video on FB and the exact same thing happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmyjambo Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 I had been flirting with the office hottie for ages and we were having a carry on at the xmas night out at the corn exchange and for some reason and I've no idea how it came about, I had her in a headlock. This resulted in me getting a swift left hook to the baws. That was 10 years ago, married her two months ago. that sounds like a David Brent moment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William H. Bonney Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Agreeing to go to my Xmas night out is the worst thing I've done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Too many to list here. This year I behaved perfectly even though I survived to the bitter end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beats Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 I had been flirting with the office hottie for ages and we were having a carry on at the xmas night out at the corn exchange and for some reason and I've no idea how it came about, I had her in a headlock. This resulted in me getting a swift left hook to the baws. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Bitches like head locks. Noted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest C00l K1d Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 No chance. What you being like that for? Sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angry Haggis Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Too many to list here. This year I behaved perfectly even though I survived to the bitter end. That's where I'm at....so for that reason I'm out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graygo Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Bitches like head locks. Noted. No they don't hence the crack in the nuts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 No they don't hence the crack in the nuts She married you in the end though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorgiewave Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Made it obvious I was colossally bored. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sten Guns Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Well this years was great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GhostHunter Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 A man never tells. Nuh uh Never. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sten Guns Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 A man never tells. Nuh uh Never. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 At a free bar in my old work many moons ago........I convinced the guy behind the bar that my employer meant a "totally" free bar. So I took 15 Twix's. The shame............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juan Rom?n Riquelme Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Bird from my work wore a really short skirt on Thursday last week at the night out. She was going about sitting on folks knees and that. Everyone saw her rat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groot Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Not so much on the night out more so afterwards It was my first work Xmas night out at the tender age of 19 and my dad had left there a few months previously but had made plans to come through to Dunfermline to meet up with folk. For those that know Dunfermline we ended up in Mardis Gras (I know!) and they were doing a deal on black shocks (a test tube filled half black sambuca/half aftershock) which my wonderful father kept buying for me. The rest of the night merged into a merry haze culminating in a young Malky getting home a little worse for wear and needing to go to the bathroom which was occupied by Mr Benoit. My last memory is knocking on the door seeing if he'd be much longer, next thing I'm on the floor and there's some black shit all down the wall and on the carpet and the afore mentioned Mr Benoit looking at me like WTF have you done. It took 2-3 coats of paint before the black marks on the wall faded Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest C00l K1d Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 At a free bar in my old work many moons ago........I convinced the guy behind the bar that my employer meant a "totally" free bar. So I took 15 Twix's. The shame............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beats Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Not so much on the night out more so afterwards It was my first work Xmas night out at the tender age of 19 and my dad had left there a few months previously but had made plans to come through to Dunfermline to meet up with folk. For those that know Dunfermline we ended up in Mardis Gras (I know!) and they were doing a deal on black shocks (a test tube filled half black sambuca/half aftershock) which my wonderful father kept buying for me. The rest of the night merged into a merry haze culminating in a young Malky getting home a little worse for wear and needing to go to the bathroom which was occupied by Mr Benoit. My last memory is knocking on the door seeing if he'd be much longer, next thing I'm on the floor and there's some black shit all down the wall and on the carpet and the afore mentioned Mr Benoit looking at me like WTF have you done. It took 2-3 coats of paint before the black marks on the wall faded Was this before or after he stuck you in the crippler? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gigolo-Aunt Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 If Beats has not managed to liquidate a company on a Christmas night out, I want my money back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beats Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 If Beats has not managed to liquidate a company on a Christmas night out, I want my money back. What a ridiculous post mate. Have a word ffs. Reported. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gigolo-Aunt Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 6 warning points. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Is singing bob the builder with my mates at an ugly bird I pumped bad? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gigolo-Aunt Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Is singing bob the builder with my mates at an ugly bird I pumped bad? Just means you are a bit of a heartless ****. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest C00l K1d Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Just means you are a bit of a heartless ****. This. Clearly the type of pig who objectifies women. Enjoy your zoo calender this christmas ironjambo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 This. Clearly the type of pig who objectifies women. Enjoy your zoo calender this christmas ironjambo Cheers mate, and cheers GA. In my defence I was just a boy of 21. I'm a much more mature and sensitive creature now. On top of that she was pig ugly and it took us a while to work out that she was a woman. There was a flattering photo of her posted on here a while back but the fun killing mods pulled the thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GforGallo Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Cheers mate, and cheers GA. In my defence I was just a boy of 21. I'm a much more mature and sensitive creature now. On top of that she was pig ugly and it took us a while to work out that she was a woman. There was a flattering photo of her posted on here a while back but the fun killing mods pulled the thread. so you Didn't realise the person you pumped was a burd until after the deed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 so you Didn't realise the person you pumped was a burd until after the deed? Hahahaha. No, I knew she was a bird. There was a debate about what she was when she started at my place of work at the time. She looked like bob the builder ffs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Tried to do the worm and kicked one of the senior managers from my work in the face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJGJ Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 I had been flirting with the office hottie for ages and we were having a carry on at the xmas night out at the corn exchange and for some reason and I've no idea how it came about, I had her in a headlock. This resulted in me getting a swift left hook to the baws. That was 10 years ago, married her two months ago. Calling her the 'office hottie'..................someone hoping she reads this thread in time for Christmas ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graygo Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Calling her the 'office hottie'..................someone hoping she reads this thread in time for Christmas ? It was 10 years ago Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PsychocAndy Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Never been on a Christmas night out but the o e and only works night out 6 of us, drivers and a supervisor all got lifted and had a night in the cells and court the next morning. The Mrs never invites me to her work do's , she is a social worker, because the first time I met her boss and chatting away , I told her boss I dressed like this and shave my head because one of us had better look like a lesbian if she wanted to keep working as a social worker. The boss seen the funny side but according to the Mrs I'm an acquired taste and its best I dont go and 'maybe' embarrass her. Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tian447 Posted December 20, 2013 Share Posted December 20, 2013 At a free bar in my old work many moons ago........I convinced the guy behind the bar that my employer meant a "totally" free bar. So I took 15 Twix's. That's ******* brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homme Posted December 20, 2013 Share Posted December 20, 2013 In my youth after an Xmas do, i got on the citylink bus from Glasgow planning to get off at Harthill. Woke up in Edinburgh. So i stayed on the bus and paid my fare back to Harthill. Woke up back in Glasgow again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmyjambo Posted December 20, 2013 Share Posted December 20, 2013 Never been on a Christmas night out but the o e and only works night out 6 of us, drivers and a supervisor all got lifted and had a night in the cells and court the next morning. The Mrs never invites me to her work do's , she is a social worker, because the first time I met her boss and chatting away , I told her boss I dressed like this and shave my head because one of us had better look like a lesbian if she wanted to keep working as a social worker. The boss seen the funny side but according to the Mrs I'm an acquired taste and its best I dont go and 'maybe' embarrass her. Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Private Womble Posted December 20, 2013 Share Posted December 20, 2013 Got in a fight with a guy from work cos he tried to steal my free drinks voucher off my table apparently called him an aids ridden Hibs ****, don't remember. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris Posted December 20, 2013 Share Posted December 20, 2013 Got in a fight with a guy from work cos he tried to steal my free drinks voucher off my table apparently called him an aids ridden Hibs ****, don't remember. Brilliant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1874robbo Posted December 20, 2013 Share Posted December 20, 2013 Having to buy a round!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wont be back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Buaben Posted December 20, 2013 Share Posted December 20, 2013 Got in a fight with a guy from work cos he tried to steal my free drinks voucher off my table apparently called him an aids ridden Hibs ****, don't remember. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartsfc_fan Posted December 20, 2013 Share Posted December 20, 2013 Our Xmas night tonight. Unfortunately our ratio of men to women at our company is about 12:1 so our nights out are usually pretty tame. Still 5 hour free bar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peter_hmfc Posted December 20, 2013 Share Posted December 20, 2013 Killed a fox . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ribble Posted December 20, 2013 Share Posted December 20, 2013 Tend to leave early from such nights out these days as they will generally be somewhere utterly pish in or around George Street. Only xmas misdemeanor was when I was 17 and working for the Law Society, I was off for the two full weeks over xmas and new year but went into work on xmas eve for the free peeve in the board room, after a couple of hours hammering the free booze we left the office and headed round the corner to Henry J Beans where I somehow managed to get served despite not having ID, fast forward a couple of hours of necking Drambuie I end up in the bogs feeling sick. After about 20 mins I feel better so go back up to the bar, order another drambuie and then the first sip sends me right over the edge and I projectile vomited right over the bar. 15 years later and I still never went back! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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