Things you've always wondered about but couldn't be bothered to find out

[hughesie27]

How come you go to the lavvy, weight yourself, then have a dump, you still weigh the same after? How is that?

Because your scales are shite.

[Jambomuzz]

Because your scales are shite.

More like his dumps are puney!

[Tazio]

Why does it smell totally different to normal if you fart in the shower? I imagine it has to do with the heat and humidity but can't explain it more scientifically than that.

[Der Kaiser]

Why is it that...........aww forget it.

[tweegy]

Why does it smell totally different to normal if you fart in the shower? I imagine it has to do with the heat and humidity but can't explain it more scientifically than that.

never worked it out!

[superjack]

How come you go to the lavvy, weight yourself, then have a dump, you still weigh the same after? How is that?

No you don't. At my work our scales are calibrated every week for Accuracy. I've done it a fee times now, weighing pre and post dump. My record os a difference of 1.5 Kg. Now though, due to being on a lot of strong medication, with one of them being tramadol, a side effect os constipation. I've now done 4 days. I really hope this baby wants a swim at work so I can weigh myself. After 4 days, and my eating habits not exactly what a dietician would recommend, this baby must weigh at least a hundred weight.

[GlasgoJambo]

No you don't. At my work our scales are calibrated every week for Accuracy. I've done it a fee times now, weighing pre and post dump. My record os a difference of 1.5 Kg. Now though, due to being on a lot of strong medication, with one of them being tramadol, a side effect os constipation. I've now done 4 days. I really hope this baby wants a swim at work so I can weigh myself. After 4 days, and my eating habits not exactly what a dietician would recommend, this baby must weigh at least a hundred weight.

Great dedication to science Superjack. Good luck with your endeavours.

[Slevinkelevra]

If you are in pain when you fall asleep ( toothache) and you manage to fall asleep, is the pain still there? Or is pain by definition only called that because you can feel it?

[AlphonseCapone]

If you are in pain when you fall asleep ( toothache) and you manage to fall asleep, is the pain still there? Or is pain by definition only called that because you can feel it?

I'm guessing but is pain not just our interpretation of particular synapses in the brain firing so if we are asleep we can't interpret them so don't feel pain?

[PsychocAndy]

I'm guessing but is pain not just our interpretation of particular synapses in the brain firing so if we are asleep we can't interpret them so don't feel pain?

I get woken up by pain so I don't think that is right.

 

sent by my phone using an enhanced Stephen Hawking like voice

[AlphonseCapone]

I get woken up by pain so I don't think that is right.

 

sent by my phone using an enhanced Stephen Hawking like voice

Aye true, maybe the synapses still fire but it needs to be at a certain level before it wakes you.

 

Who knows, I'm no neuroscientist ha.

[Kmeister]

Why do different areas have different accents and what did Birmingham do to deserve being lumped with the one they have?

[superjack]

No you don't. At my work our scales are calibrated every week for Accuracy. I've done it a fee times now, weighing pre and post dump. My record os a difference of 1.5 Kg. Now though, due to being on a lot of strong medication, with one of them being tramadol, a side effect os constipation. I've now done 4 days. I really hope this baby wants a swim at work so I can weigh myself. After 4 days, and my eating habits not exactly what a dietician would recommend, this baby must weigh at least a hundred weight.

Well, at work this afternoon I couldn't stop blowing off, and I knew that it was the tremors prior to the main seismic event. However, when I went to the loo, all that appeared was a 10 gram sample. I was annoyed, as I put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into pushing it out. Got home tonight, and I knew it was happening. When it came, it was that long, whilst one end was still passing the event horizon, the other end was half way round the u bend. Just as well I weighed myself prior to leaving, so I can finish off my analysis tomorrow.

[Boof]

What makes a clay tennis court so different from the other grand slam ones? In fact what ARE the other surfaces?

[All roads lead to Gorgie]

What makes a clay tennis court so different from the other grand slam ones? In fact what ARE the other surfaces?

The ball bounces lower on a clay court and comes off the surface slower than hard courts and grass. The players use different shoes as they have to slide across the loose surface. The ball they use is slightly altered as well to grip the surface as well. I am far from an expert but that is what I have gathered.

[Hector Riva]

Could you make a clay pot out of the loose bits on a clay court?

[GforGallo]

What makes a clay tennis court so different from the other grand slam ones? In fact what ARE the other surfaces?

Wimbledon is grass.

[Sawdust Caesar]

If it takes a man one week to walk a fortnight , how many oranges are in a barrell of grapes?

Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

[Boof]

Thanks ARLTG and GFG.

Surfaces for US and Australian Opens?

[bertracoon]

Thanks ARLTG and GFG.

Surfaces for US and Australian Opens?

Hard

[GforGallo]

Hard

I, but hard what?

 

I've always assumed rubber or some form of concrete.

[Tazio]

I, but hard what?

 

I've always assumed rubber or some form of concrete.

 

Hardwood, normally teak or mahogany, some places use ebony for the lines but that isn't as common as it used to be due to expense.

[WSTR]

I, but hard what?

 

I've always assumed rubber or some form of concrete.

 

Hardwood, normally teak or mahogany, some places use ebony for the lines but that isn't as common as it used to be due to expense.

 

Copied straight from google: 

1. Tennis hard courts are made of synthetic/acrylic layers on top of a concrete or asphalt foundation and can vary in color. These courts tend to play medium-fast to fast because there is little energy absorption by the court, like in grass courts.

[Tazio]

 

Copied straight from google: 

1. Tennis hard courts are made of synthetic/acrylic layers on top of a concrete or asphalt foundation and can vary in color. These courts tend to play medium-fast to fast because there is little energy absorption by the court, like in grass courts.

 

 

Teak with a carpet on top maybe?

[WSTR]

Teak with a carpet on top maybe?

 

The US open is played on concrete, topped with acrylic paint that has rubber and sand mixed in with it. The amount of sand that's added in determines how slow or fast the ball will slow down.

[Tynecastle Valhalla]

Why do women get so offended by swear words

[Norm]

Why do women get so offended by swear words

**** knows.

[Der Kaiser]

Why do women get so offended by swear words

Because they're c__ts?

[Jambos_1874]

If I were to walk around, say, the centre of Riyadh, Muscat or Tehran on my own would it be safe to do so? I mean would it be possible for a white British person to safely walk around these cities without drawing attention to yourself and without being threatened? That no doubt sounds very ignorant of me but I have often wondered whether that would be the case, particularly as the UK isn't exactly viewed very positively in a lot of the Middle East. I'm assuming that it's pretty to safe to say that the likes of Kabul and Baghdad are absolute no-go areas.

 

Edit: Just had a look on the FCO website and it would seem that Iran, for example, wouldn't be the safest but more so as a result of the local police force/security services. Still doesn't really answer the question as to whether the average local would react negatively (again, sorry if this all sounds very ignorant).

 

https://www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/iran/safety-and-security

Edited May 31, 2015 by Jambos_1874

[tommythejambo]

Why does it smell totally different to normal if you fart in the shower? I imagine it has to do with the heat and humidity but can't explain it more scientifically than that.

Moisture heightens your sense of smell.

[tommythejambo]

**** knows.

Shower of ^^^^s.

[WSTR]

What's the tiny pocket in a pair of jeans for?

[mutley]

What's the tiny pocket in a pair of jeans for?

Jeremy Beadles hand

[Tazio]

What's the tiny pocket in a pair of jeans for?

 

Zippo lighters or bus fares. 

[Unknown user]

What's the tiny pocket in a pair of jeans for?

The johnny pocket? No idea

[jamboz]

What's the tiny pocket in a pair of jeans for?

 

Stash pocket

[Masonic]

when the new season of wentworth starts

[Boris]

What's the tiny pocket in a pair of jeans for?

Originally it was for a pocket watch, as I understand.

[Tazio]

http://levistrauss.com/unzipped-blog/2014/05/throwback-thursday-501-jean-trivia-on-its-namesake-day-501/

[djh83]

If I were to walk around, say, the centre of Riyadh, Muscat or Tehran on my own would it be safe to do so? I mean would it be possible for a white British person to safely walk around these cities without drawing attention to yourself and without being threatened? That no doubt sounds very ignorant of me but I have often wondered whether that would be the case, particularly as the UK isn't exactly viewed very positively in a lot of the Middle East. I'm assuming that it's pretty to safe to say that the likes of Kabul and Baghdad are absolute no-go areas.

 

Edit: Just had a look on the FCO website and it would seem that Iran, for example, wouldn't be the safest but more so as a result of the local police force/security services. Still doesn't really answer the question as to whether the average local would react negatively (again, sorry if this all sounds very ignorant).

 

https://www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/iran/safety-and-security

 

You planning a lads weekend there?

[martoon]

Who is Shaun Lawson, and what did he do?

 

I am, or was, a middle-aged dinosaur with a terror of technology until about 2 years ago, and have noticed the name referenced frequently on JKB.

 

Always been a bit too embarrassed to ask in case you all laugh at me. ?

[Riddley Walker]

Who is Shaun Lawson, and what did he do?

 

I am, or was, a middle-aged dinosaur with a terror of technology until about 2 years ago, and have noticed the name referenced frequently on JKB.

 

Always been a bit too embarrassed to ask in case you all laugh at me. ?

You're in for a treat.

 

He was an English Hearts fan who lived in Uruguay with a penchant for long-winded, rambling posts. I quite liked him.

 

His best moments included lying about owning a DVD version of Wales v Belgium from 1992 before being caught out and "leaving" KB for a few weeks. He also told us a story about banging his mates bird when his mate fell asleep. The reason this was so funny was that no poster's words ever screamed VIRGIN as much as Lawson's.

 

P.S. The first story may have been why he was referred to as "Lieson" afterwards, although someone may correct me if this was as a result of a different lie.

Edited June 4, 2015 by Riddley Walker

[bajthejambo]

Amongst other many, many, many, many anecdotes.

 

He popped up with a General Election " I told you so" piece not so long ago, on some site.

 

Think it was Lawson who got handed his arse to him by a poster, over tennis? That was an amusing thread too.

A personal favourite was when he belittled Germany's chances of success at the World Cup/Euros and used certain matches as evidence as such.

 

In particular, he focussed his attention's on Sami Khedira and pointed him out as the weakest link.

 

It was at this point that another poster stepped in and pointed out that Khedira hadn't played in all but one of the matches he had mentioned and actually scored in the one he had.

 

All of the matches mentioned were the only games they had failed to win in X amount of time too.

 

Now you might not thing that's really that bad, but he was SO condescending about it initially. I reckon he had been to about 10 football matches in his life too.

 

The Wales DVD was another gem as was his recalling of his missed sexual encounter with his babysitter. It was like something out of a Woman's erotica novel.

[superjack]

A personal favourite was when he belittled Germany's chances of success at the World Cup/Euros and used certain matches as evidence as such.

 

In particular, he focussed his attention's on Sami Khedira and pointed him out as the weakest link.

 

It was at this point that another poster stepped in and pointed out that Khedira hadn't played in all but one of the matches he had mentioned and actually scored in the one he had.

 

All of the matches mentioned were the only games they had failed to win in X amount of time too.

 

Now you might not thing that's really that bad, but he was SO condescending about it initially. I reckon he had been to about 10 football matches in his life too.

 

The Wales DVD was another gem as was his recalling of his missed sexual encounter with his babysitter. It was like something out of a Woman's erotica novel.

Remember the time he left JKB after a fall out so je could join .net. Said he would never be back on here again. That he got better bantz over there. Then a wee while later, his versions of war and piece soon re-appeared on here again.

Did he not also claim to have a serious addiction to sulk cut, chocolate and coffee?

[Bindy Badgy]

The style and dynamism of that Wales team was a site to behold.

[martoon]

Thanks for the info lads.

 

 

 

Sent by smoke signal from just outside my cave.

[¼½¾]

Remember the time he left JKB after a fall out so je could join .net. Said he would never be back on here again. That he got better bantz over there. Then a wee while later, his versions of war and piece soon re-appeared on here again.

Did he not also claim to have a serious addiction to sulk cut, chocolate and coffee?

Was there a story involving him and an au pair, or am I thinking of someone else?

[Bindy Badgy]

Was there a story involving him and an au pair, or am I thinking of someone else?

Definitely the Lawsonator.

[milky_26]

Was there a story involving him and an au pair, or am I thinking of someone else?

iirc he had the chance with his and turned it down/ ran away screaming

[Paolo]

If someone lives abroad for a number of years, and speaks that country's language almost constantly, is it possible they would forget their mother language?