southside1874 Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 I shagged my best mates bird about 21 years ago, she was having second thoughts on the way home so I told her he'd been cheating on her to secure my hole (he had though). He phoned my flat in the morning and asked to speak to her. after he'd spoken to her on the phone she came back in to my bedroom and said I had to buy him a pint to make up for it, I never knew how he found out so quickly. I bought him a pint a couple of weeks later and it was all good. Every word of that is true! I did feel quite bad about it for a bit. Shagged her again mind, she told me I was better than him....YASSSSS! Then there was another mate who booked himself into the Holiday inn to commit suicide by paracetamol (he ended up in Hospital alive) after a bout of depression about being cast aside after a one night stand by a super hot bird (she was tidy as ****, but she only shagged him so her mate could get off with me). He'd been going out with another lass whilst still pining over the hot one and he went missing this night and announced to me (over the phone - it was 1991) that he was off to kill himself and he wouldn't be found). The bird he was seeing at the time got a bit emotional, so I shagged her. About a week later I managed to sweet talk a nurse in the Royal Edinburgh to let me take Dave (I'll call him Dave as that was his name) out of the locked ward for a Pizza to cheer him up. The nurse allowed me to do that as long as I promised to take him right back. So I took him straight to the Southern Bar in South Clerk street for a few beers, he started being a dick so I told him I'd shagged his bird the night he was trying to top himself. He took this fairly badly and disappeared again. He turned up at my flat the next day and tried to hit me with a glass Irn Bru bottle, it was a bit of a half arsed effort, I took him in the flat and let him stay the night. I ended up going out with the super hot bird he tried to top himself over a couple of months later - she dumped me fantastic ride though. I'm a bit better behaved these days. Good story, We are all so precious about our lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Johnson Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Think I'd be depressed too if I was suicidal and my best mate just saw it as an opportunity to ride my bird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Private Womble Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 My mate threw a dart at my head when I was collecting my 3 from, the dartboard, said he meant to miss but I still don't believe him. Arsehole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southside1874 Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Sometimes we all need a wake up call Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Mate Doesn't matter had sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peebo Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Didn't involve me, but three of my mates arranged a trip down to Mexico with a guy that one of them was very friendly with, who we'll call Douchebag. The plan was to stay at a villa owned by a family friend of Douchebag. The three of them got to the airport, with Douchebag saying he was running late. They got on the plane, and he never showed. They never heard from him at all, and landed in Mexico late at night with no accommodation. They never got an explanation from Douchebag. The first time I met him, I instantly realised he was full of shite. A Walter Mitty type character, as you would say... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottish_chicP Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Fair few charmers on this thread. I had no idea it was so common for guys to shag their mate's birds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franklin Delano Bluth Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Fair few charmers on this thread. I had no idea it was so common for guys to shag their mate's birds. Amen Sistah. Not much worse than stirring your mates porridge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gershwin Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 One of my best mates (also a deviant sex pest) shagged this bird in my bed when I was staying at my then bird's. Came home the next day to find crisps all over my bed and the biggest bra I'd ever seen under the pillow (she was clearly ******* huge). Confronted the guy but he apologised so it wasn't a big deal. However over the next few weeks different parts of the story started to come out. She was some scummy single mother of about 40 kids who he'd picked up in our local bar. She had nicked my watch and some money off my desk to get a taxi home in the morning. But worst of all, he had used my hifi remote control as a sex toy during their brief relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franklin Delano Bluth Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 One of my best mates (also a deviant sex pest) shagged this bird in my bed when I was staying at my then bird's. Came home the next day to find crisps all over my bed and the biggest bra I'd ever seen under the pillow (she was clearly ******* huge). Confronted the guy but he apologised so it wasn't a big deal. However over the next few weeks different parts of the story started to come out. She was some scummy single mother of about 40 kids who he'd picked up in our local bar. She had nicked my watch and some money off my desk to get a taxi home in the morning. But worst of all, he had used my hifi remote control as a sex toy during their brief relationship. On herself... Or on him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desmondo Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 One of my best mates (also a deviant sex pest) shagged this bird in my bed when I was staying at my then bird's. Came home the next day to find crisps all over my bed and the biggest bra I'd ever seen under the pillow (she was clearly ******* huge). Confronted the guy but he apologised so it wasn't a big deal. However over the next few weeks different parts of the story started to come out. She was some scummy single mother of about 40 kids who he'd picked up in our local bar. She had nicked my watch and some money off my desk to get a taxi home in the morning. But worst of all, he had used my hifi remote control as a sex toy during their brief relationship. Maybe she didny kock the watch and cash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rossthejambo Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 One of my best mates (also a deviant sex pest) shagged this bird in my bed when I was staying at my then bird's. Came home the next day to find crisps all over my bed and the biggest bra I'd ever seen under the pillow (she was clearly ******* huge). Confronted the guy but he apologised so it wasn't a big deal. However over the next few weeks different parts of the story started to come out. She was some scummy single mother of about 40 kids who he'd picked up in our local bar. She had nicked my watch and some money off my desk to get a taxi home in the morning. But worst of all, he had used my hifi remote control as a sex toy during their brief relationship. There's some horrors in this thread but this made me laugh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest C00l K1d Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Thr hifi remote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottish_chicP Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 That is rank. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted August 3, 2013 Author Share Posted August 3, 2013 One of my best mates (also a deviant sex pest) shagged this bird in my bed when I was staying at my then bird's. Came home the next day to find crisps all over my bed and the biggest bra I'd ever seen under the pillow (she was clearly ******* huge). Confronted the guy but he apologised so it wasn't a big deal. However over the next few weeks different parts of the story started to come out. She was some scummy single mother of about 40 kids who he'd picked up in our local bar. She had nicked my watch and some money off my desk to get a taxi home in the morning. But worst of all, he had used my hifi remote control as a sex toy during their brief relationship. sorry but Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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