whats the worst thing a "mate" has ever done to you?

[iantjambo]

In a club a few years back and I got chatting to this gorgeous aussie bursd who was, on another night, completly out of my league, I was giving it all the bulls*it that came into my head "aye, I spent a year and a half in Australia" blah,blah,blah (never been in my life). To my utter astonishment she was hanging on my every word and getting closer and closer to me, with my hand on her hip I got ready to make the final move, only for my mate to yell in her ear "everything he told you is complete sh!te".

She took my hand of her hip, gave me a "oh, you were so close" smile, said "you naughty boy" and walked away.

 

What a complete ****

 

[Hansel]

Serves you right

 

My mate gave me water out the toilet.

[beijingandrew]

My mate did a shit on my bed

[Tommy Wiseau]

Serves you right

 

 

 

Correct. This thread should be renamed "most vile things you have done to try and get a bag off".

 

 

[Private Womble]

In a club a few years back and I got chatting to this gorgeous aussie bursd who was, on another night, completly out of my league, I was giving it all the bulls*it that came into my head "aye, I spent a year and a half in Australia" blah,blah,blah (never been in my life). To my utter astonishment she was hanging on my every word and getting closer and closer to me, with my hand on her hip I got ready to make the final move, only for my mate to yell in her ear "everything he told you is complete sh!te".

She took my hand of her hip, gave me a "oh, you were so close" smile, said "you naughty boy" and walked away.

 

What a complete ****

 

 

What a Dick your mate is

[iantjambo]

 

 

 

Correct. This thread should be renamed "most vile things you have done to try and get a bag off".

 

she was worth every lie

 

oh, and the most vile thing to get a bag off i've ever done was confessed in the "being shan" thread.

[Captain Price]

Shagged my mates burd and then he panned my window with snowballs.

 

 

Cost ?1400 to fix

 

 

[Generic Username]

Murdered my entire family.

 

He's some boy.

[:shitwine:]

Murdered my entire family.

 

He's some boy.

 

Deadpool could have said that 2 years ago...

[scottish_chicP]

This thread has potential.

[The People's Chimp]

Shagged my mates burd and then he panned my window with snowballs.

 

 

Cost ?1400 to fix

 

 

 

Think he's the one entitled to post about the shan behaviour of a so-called mate.

 

Sickening.

[William H. Bonney]

spiked my bottle of water with lsd.

[Rodge]

Sold me a stolen Land Rover Discovery unbeknown to me (HPI clear as well!). Drove around in it for nearly a year and then sold it to someone else. They got stopped in it and it was impounded by the Stolen Car Squad; he cancelled the cheque as you would expect.

 

Lost ?2200 quid out of it and a pretty good mate.

 

Funnily enough, the guy still sends me friend requests and messages asking "why I'm not speaking" after 8 years

 

Strange behaviour.

[scottish_chicP]

Sold me a stolen Land Rover Discovery unbeknown to me (HPI clear as well!). Drove around in it for nearly a year and then sold it to someone else. They got stopped in it and it was impounded by the Stolen Car Squad; he cancelled the cheque as you would expect.

 

Lost ?2200 quid out of it and a pretty good mate.

 

Funnily enough, the guy still sends me friend requests and messages asking "why I'm not speaking" after 8 years

 

Strange behaviour.

 

He doesn't sound like a pretty good mate

[Craig Gordons Gloves]

At the tender age of something under 16, i was at an 18th birthday party with my then girlfriend (she wasn't a virgin, i was) so we had a few drinks (underage drinks obviously but it was a village hotel where everyone knew everyone so was all cool. We nip out, i pop my cherry - not in the most romantic of ways but hey ho, i was a teenager that had just had a ride for the first ever time. Anyway - back to said party, i was talking to a couple of mates who asked where the girlfriend was - looked around the function room and found her in the corner, enjoying having one of my other mates stick his tongue down her throat.

 

I wasn't happy in the least with this boy. Not that i was in love or anything, but he'd just managed to screw up my chance of getting another ride later on that night. So Justin, if you're reading this - i've not forgotten, 20 odd years later...

[weegranty]

A mate put a penny in my pint that had been lying in a urinal in a boozer,had about an inch left in it before I noticed.

[Juan Rom?n Riquelme]

One of my pals shat in another's sleeping bag at T in the Park a few years ago and then let him sleep in it because he was melted.

[Rodge]

He doesn't sound like a pretty good mate

 

He was before this happened. Let's just say we don't do Christmas cards anymore!

[buba]

Mucktache!

[Heres Rixxy]

Sold me a stolen Land Rover Discovery unbeknown to me (HPI clear as well!). Drove around in it for nearly a year and then sold it to someone else. They got stopped in it and it was impounded by the Stolen Car Squad; he cancelled the cheque as you would expect.

 

Lost ?2200 quid out of it and a pretty good mate.

 

Funnily enough, the guy still sends me friend requests and messages asking "why I'm not speaking" after 8 years

 

Strange behaviour.

 

Curious; why did you accept a personal cheque for your car?

[The Doctor]

Shagged my mates burd and then he panned my window with snowballs.

 

 

Cost ?1400 to fix

 

 

 

I'm having real trouble with this story. From the fact that there was shagging involved you weren't wee boys, from the information that it cost you ?1400, I would surmise you are grown men.

 

He put in your windows with snowballs? Surely that's the action of a mischievous 9 year old. What kind of grown man smashes someone's windows with snowballs? Systematically, over a sustained period, he must have made dozens of snowballs, this must have taken him some time. Either you were out, which is childish and cowardly on his part or you didn't come out and turn it into a massive and violent snowball fight. Or just walk up to him and kick him in the nuts, which is kind of what he should have done to you in the first place.

 

 

I once shagged a mates bird (long time ago and he wasn't much of a mate and he was Welsh) and he walked into my room and told me he should punch me for shagging her. Which I thought I was fair enough. So I told him he could have one for free, if he wanted more I would hit back. He declined and left. He was considerably smaller than me and she wasn't really worth it, she cheated on me about six weeks later.

[skinnybob72]

I was running late for work one day, jumped into the car and then noticed that someone had taken a huge dump right in the middle of my front windscreen. Donno how he managed it but I had to get the hose out to shift it. Can't say I was impressed but it was in revenge for decorating his motor with brown sauce and flour amongst other things.

[Tazio]

I once shagged a mates bird (long time ago and he wasn't much of a mate and he was Welsh) and he walked into my room and told me he should punch me for shagging her. Which I thought I was fair enough. So I told him he could have one for free, if he wanted more I would hit back. He declined and left. He was considerably smaller than me and she wasn't really worth it, she cheated on me about six weeks later.

 

I shagged my flatmates ex (by this point we were in our mid 20's and had known each other since we were 5) one new year as in my drunken stupor I reckoned it would help him get over her as he was heartbroken and should see her for what she was.

 

It didn't go down very well to be honest. We're still mates 20 years later though.

[Marvin]

Got bumped for ?150 and he shagged my missus, needless to say I don't speak to him anymore.

[Old Nick]

I shagged my best mates bird about 21 years ago, she was having second thoughts on the way home so I told her he'd been cheating on her to secure my hole (he had though). He phoned my flat in the morning and asked to speak to her. after he'd spoken to her on the phone she came back in to my bedroom and said I had to buy him a pint to make up for it, I never knew how he found out so quickly. I bought him a pint a couple of weeks later and it was all good. Every word of that is true!

I did feel quite bad about it for a bit. Shagged her again mind, she told me I was better than him....YASSSSS!

 

Then there was another mate who booked himself into the Holiday inn to commit suicide by paracetamol (he ended up in Hospital alive) after a bout of depression about being cast aside after a one night stand by a super hot bird (she was tidy as ****, but she only shagged him so her mate could get off with me). He'd been going out with another lass whilst still pining over the hot one and he went missing this night and announced to me (over the phone - it was 1991) that he was off to kill himself and he wouldn't be found). The bird he was seeing at the time got a bit emotional, so I shagged her. About a week later I managed to sweet talk a nurse in the Royal Edinburgh to let me take Dave (I'll call him Dave as that was his name) out of the locked ward for a Pizza to cheer him up. The nurse allowed me to do that as long as I promised to take him right back. So I took him straight to the Southern Bar in South Clerk street for a few beers, he started being a dick so I told him I'd shagged his bird the night he was trying to top himself. He took this fairly badly and disappeared again. He turned up at my flat the next day and tried to hit me with a glass Irn Bru bottle, it was a bit of a half arsed effort, I took him in the flat and let him stay the night. I ended up going out with the super hot bird he tried to top himself over a couple of months later - she dumped me fantastic ride though.

 

I'm a bit better behaved these days.

[neave]

spiked my bottle of water with lsd.

 

 

A group of my mates booked a trip to Dublin a few years back. I was skint so couldn't go. It turns out one of my mates, John, with whom I'd been pals since 2nd year, had to pull out and my dad loaned me the money to buy his plane ticket and to pay for my digs and drink. I transferred the flight money to John's account so he could phone them and transfer the names over.

 

So, time went by and it was the night before our early flight across. I was on MSN at time (aye, this was years ago) and got a message from another mate of mine. He wasn't going initially but managed to scrape the dough for his flights etc and was going to book his flight secretly that night and turn up at check-in. He phoned the airport to see if he could book a ticket and asked if this was the flight I was on, quoting my full name.

 

The woman on the phone said there was no-one of my name on the flight. He then asked if John's name was on it. It wasn't. Then he tried the name of another person going on the trip, and it was there. So were the rest of our group. It turns out not only had John not transferred our names over, he hadn't even booked a ticket and hadn't told me by the night of the flight. I confront John online, raging, and he messages me a wee while later pretty much saying "sorry mate, didn't book a flight or that, you'll need to get yourself a ticket tonight or you're not going" (the last half of that sentence being a direct quotation).

 

So he was going to let me turn up at the airport with my bag packed, all my pals in tow, and be told that I didn't have a ticket for the ******* flight. I managed to get a ticket online for a reasonable price for the same flight and made the trip, but I stopped speaking to John very, very soon after I got my money back from the *****.

[Brandt]

Didnt do this to a mate! But my good pal was in Walkabout taking a dump. He pulled some bog roll and turns out that someone else had wiped their arse with it and put it back up into the bog roll holder hahaha

[Gorgiewave]

Merge with shan thread plz.

[superjack]

On a ferry heading to Amsterdam, years ago when we were still in the RAF, me and 1 mate put on our tried and tested speil of him being a tornado pilot and I was the navigator. Because we were putting the tackle on a couple of stunners, we went the whole hog. This was 1992, not long after the first gulf war, so we became the crew who had to eject over Iraq, and got captured, tortured and paraded on TV. Everything was going good, we were just about to sneak off and try and find somewhere to do our duty for queen and country, then another mate came over and told the bursds" don't listen to these gobshites, ones a chef and the other only puts bombs on the planes". Obviously, we never got our hole then. Got revenge though, some acid in his beer on the ferry on the return trip

[cosanostra]

I shagged my best mates bird about 21 years ago, she was having second thoughts on the way home so I told her he'd been cheating on her to secure my hole (he had though). He phoned my flat in the morning and asked to speak to her. after he'd spoken to her on the phone she came back in to my bedroom and said I had to buy him a pint to make up for it, I never knew how he found out so quickly. I bought him a pint a couple of weeks later and it was all good. Every word of that is true!

I did feel quite bad about it for a bit. Shagged her again mind, she told me I was better than him....YASSSSS!

 

Then there was another mate who booked himself into the Holiday inn to commit suicide by paracetamol (he ended up in Hospital alive) after a bout of depression about being cast aside after a one night stand by a super hot bird (she was tidy as ****, but she only shagged him so her mate could get off with me). He'd been going out with another lass whilst still pining over the hot one and he went missing this night and announced to me (over the phone - it was 1991) that he was off to kill himself and he wouldn't be found). The bird he was seeing at the time got a bit emotional, so I shagged her. About a week later I managed to sweet talk a nurse in the Royal Edinburgh to let me take Dave (I'll call him Dave as that was his name) out of the locked ward for a Pizza to cheer him up. The nurse allowed me to do that as long as I promised to take him right back. So I took him straight to the Southern Bar in South Clerk street for a few beers, he started being a dick so I told him I'd shagged his bird the night he was trying to top himself. He took this fairly badly and disappeared again. He turned up at my flat the next day and tried to hit me with a glass Irn Bru bottle, it was a bit of a half arsed effort, I took him in the flat and let him stay the night. I ended up going out with the super hot bird he tried to top himself over a couple of months later - she dumped me fantastic ride though.

 

I'm a bit better behaved these days.

 

Either that's all lies or you're a horrible human being.

[Gorgiewave]

 

A group of my mates booked a trip to Dublin a few years back. I was skint so couldn't go. It turns out one of my mates, John, with whom I'd been pals since 2nd year, had to pull out and my dad loaned me the money to buy his plane ticket and to pay for my digs and drink. I transferred the flight money to John's account so he could phone them and transfer the names over.

 

So, time went by and it was the night before our early flight across. I was on MSN at time (aye, this was years ago) and got a message from another mate of mine. He wasn't going initially but managed to scrape the dough for his flights etc and was going to book his flight secretly that night and turn up at check-in. He phoned the airport to see if he could book a ticket and asked if this was the flight I was on, quoting my full name.

 

The woman on the phone said there was no-one of my name on the flight. He then asked if John's name was on it. It wasn't. Then he tried the name of another person going on the trip, and it was there. So were the rest of our group. It turns out not only had John not transferred our names over, he hadn't even booked a ticket and hadn't told me by the night of the flight. I confront John online, raging, and he messages me a wee while later pretty much saying "sorry mate, didn't book a flight or that, you'll need to get yourself a ticket tonight or you're not going" (the last half of that sentence being a direct quotation).

 

So he was going to let me turn up at the airport with my bag packed, all my pals in tow, and be told that I didn't have a ticket for the ******* flight. I managed to get a ticket online for a reasonable price for the same flight and made the trip, but I stopped speaking to John very, very soon after I got my money back from the *****.

 

He can't have been your friend. He says he's going to commit suicide and you shag his bird? Did you even call the police? FFS.

[Franklin Delano Bluth]

Some absolute ****s on here, likes.

[cosanostra]

He can't have been your friend. He says he's going to commit suicide and you shag his bird? Did you even call the police? FFS.

 

You may have quoted the wrong person there.

[2NaFish]

Old Nick ain't got nothing on our old nick.

[Old Nick]

Either that's all lies or you're a horrible human being.

It's all true I'm afraid. There's obviously a lot more to both incidents, but they were very hedonistic days ( I do look back on those days and it doesn't seem like it was me getting up to all that, it was though - they were strange times). Still best mates with both of those blokes, we all got up to all sorts of stuff.

[cosanostra]

It's all true I'm afraid. There's obviously a lot more to both incidents, but they were very hedonistic days ( I do look back on those days and it doesn't seem like it was me getting up to all that, it was though - they were strange times). Still best mates with both of those blokes, we all got up to all sorts of stuff.

 

If you're a changed man then fair play.

I'm surprised that either of those people would want to remain friends with you but they must be more forgiving than me.

[Pete Seeger]

I shagged my best mates bird about 21 years ago, she was having second thoughts on the way home so I told her he'd been cheating on her to secure my hole (he had though). He phoned my flat in the morning and asked to speak to her. after he'd spoken to her on the phone she came back in to my bedroom and said I had to buy him a pint to make up for it, I never knew how he found out so quickly. I bought him a pint a couple of weeks later and it was all good. Every word of that is true!

I did feel quite bad about it for a bit. Shagged her again mind, she told me I was better than him....YASSSSS!

 

Then there was another mate who booked himself into the Holiday inn to commit suicide by paracetamol (he ended up in Hospital alive) after a bout of depression about being cast aside after a one night stand by a super hot bird (she was tidy as ****, but she only shagged him so her mate could get off with me). He'd been going out with another lass whilst still pining over the hot one and he went missing this night and announced to me (over the phone - it was 1991) that he was off to kill himself and he wouldn't be found). The bird he was seeing at the time got a bit emotional, so I shagged her. About a week later I managed to sweet talk a nurse in the Royal Edinburgh to let me take Dave (I'll call him Dave as that was his name) out of the locked ward for a Pizza to cheer him up. The nurse allowed me to do that as long as I promised to take him right back. So I took him straight to the Southern Bar in South Clerk street for a few beers, he started being a dick so I told him I'd shagged his bird the night he was trying to top himself. He took this fairly badly and disappeared again. He turned up at my flat the next day and tried to hit me with a glass Irn Bru bottle, it was a bit of a half arsed effort, I took him in the flat and let him stay the night. I ended up going out with the super hot bird he tried to top himself over a couple of months later - she dumped me fantastic ride though.

 

I'm a bit better behaved these days.

 

I'm calling shenanigans.

 

Either that or you're a ****************************************.

 

Both, I reckon.

[cosanostra]

Please don't abuse each other or a mod will close this thread and it's a thread with some potential.

[PsychocAndy]

If I was wanting to get a divorce and blame her for everything, I'd become mates with Old Nick.

[Old Nick]

I'm calling shenanigans.

 

Either that or you're a ****************************************.

 

Both, I reckon.

No it's true, and I was an arsehole back then. There were loads of other 18/19 year old arseholes around at the time too (I'm sure there still are). There's big back stories and much more to both those incidents and we all remained friends throughout and for more than 2 decades since so they didn't think things were that bad when they were in context. Still good mates with one of the girls too, no idea what came of the other one, haven't seen her since the early '90s.

[Pete Seeger]

Please don't abuse each other or a mod will close this thread and it's a thread with some potential.

 

Fair point.

[Matthew Le Tissier]

Pumped a mates ex when she was up the duff with his bairn. In my defence I didnt know she was pregnant.

[The People's Chimp]

I read Old Nick's post like something out of trainspotting. Astonishing.

 

When I was living out in the Alps, there was a duff commis chef who worked with us who had lied all about his CV and experience, claimed he worked at the fat duck etc but had never heard of Blummenthal. Was a total acid casualty from Bristol, rode around in his VW van blaring Psy Trance caning the doobies and all that. Bit of a Mitty, space cadet but a decent Snowboarder (allegedly). He got sacked and went back to his previous job in another town.

 

Month or two later he came back to visit us as he thought we were all "so sound and meant a lot to him" while showing off his new bird and his wee pet dug. Give it a few hours of apr?s ski and she was back getting ridden rotten by the head chef (who this boy thought was great), she spent the night with him and our erstwhile pal went back to his VW with his dog (it was about -20 as well) and tried to gas himself by turning on his stove with the windows shut. Clown woke up with a headache and a flat battery, with his dug half deid from the freezing cold

 

Had to drive her home to Morzine the next day. 2/3 hour drive.

[Big Chae]

Pals that cut your gress should be castrated.

 

Also pals that spend your money on pills instead of booze are arseholes. Especially when they don't even offer you any.

[Gorgiewave]

You may have quoted the wrong person there.

 

Aye, I meant oldnick.

[I.J]

Either that's all lies or you're a horrible human being.

 

Orkney rules.

[Mr Romanov Saviour of HMFC]

I shagged my best mates bird about 21 years ago, she was having second thoughts on the way home so I told her he'd been cheating on her to secure my hole (he had though). He phoned my flat in the morning and asked to speak to her. after he'd spoken to her on the phone she came back in to my bedroom and said I had to buy him a pint to make up for it, I never knew how he found out so quickly. I bought him a pint a couple of weeks later and it was all good. Every word of that is true!

I did feel quite bad about it for a bit. Shagged her again mind, she told me I was better than him....YASSSSS!

 

Then there was another mate who booked himself into the Holiday inn to commit suicide by paracetamol (he ended up in Hospital alive) after a bout of depression about being cast aside after a one night stand by a super hot bird (she was tidy as ****, but she only shagged him so her mate could get off with me). He'd been going out with another lass whilst still pining over the hot one and he went missing this night and announced to me (over the phone - it was 1991) that he was off to kill himself and he wouldn't be found). The bird he was seeing at the time got a bit emotional, so I shagged her. About a week later I managed to sweet talk a nurse in the Royal Edinburgh to let me take Dave (I'll call him Dave as that was his name) out of the locked ward for a Pizza to cheer him up. The nurse allowed me to do that as long as I promised to take him right back. So I took him straight to the Southern Bar in South Clerk street for a few beers, he started being a dick so I told him I'd shagged his bird the night he was trying to top himself. He took this fairly badly and disappeared again. He turned up at my flat the next day and tried to hit me with a glass Irn Bru bottle, it was a bit of a half arsed effort, I took him in the flat and let him stay the night. I ended up going out with the super hot bird he tried to top himself over a couple of months later - she dumped me fantastic ride though.

 

I'm a bit better behaved these days.

 

 

A told ye tae bring the cairds.

[Locky]

My best mate at the time knew I fancied some bird rotten. Me and her had a 'close' night together and something special was about to kick off.

 

Anyway, I went to go and stay with family for a week. We decided we'd pick things up where we left off. When I came back, my so called best mate was going out with her.

 

She was just as much of a ^^^^ for going with him in the first place mind you.

 

We were only about 14 though so doesn't bother me at all now. At the time though...

[mrmarkus1981]

Fingers, bowl, warm, water..... Pish everywhere

 

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2

 

 

[The Great Khali]

My mate threw a Warburtons bread basket square at my pus on a night out once. Blood pished out of my face, when I got on the bus folk were asking if they should phone the police, looked like I'd had my ***** kicked. Dick.