Салатные палочки Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 1 hour ago, IronJambo said: To avoid confusion, I didn't mean either of the above with "reverse poo". I'm not a complete animal. I meant do a dump in her toilet whilst sat on the seat facing the wrong way round. The resulting jobby will slide all the way down the front part of the inside of the bowl, leaving a nice mess behind. Left alone for a few hours it's not a nice or easy clean up. An A.C. Slater? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 1 hour ago, iantjambo said: Yeah,yeah,yeah...More to the point, are the in-laws visiting for Christmas? They've just been here for the wee man's birthday. I was rather restrained because I was quite unwell. Her old man does my nut in. Lost sight in ONE eye a couple of years ago. His other eye is fine. Pretends he can't see and walks around with his arms in front of him. Apparently can't see a cup of tea that's an arms length away. I was fitting the TV on the wall and when levelling it up I was asking for opinions on how straight it was and which way it needed adjusting. Her mum said nothing as she only got a big mouth when she's not even nearly being helpful. Her dad pipes up that it's straight and needs no more adjusting. He's ten feet from the TV. I tell him to be quiet because he can't even see his hands. The telly didn't need any more adjusting and was indeed straight. Hamming Prick. The big jug has accumulated kit. It seems it doesn't get used though as there's always piss on the seat when he's in the bathroom. Still, at least there was always a pair of tights on the towel radiator to mop it up with. And lights. Every frickin light was always on. I'm still falling over sweeties that she's left behind. Celebrations, heroes, maltesers...... I don't know how the fat cow doesn't have diabetes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 1 hour ago, IronJambo said: They've just been here for the wee man's birthday. I was rather restrained because I was quite unwell. Her old man does my nut in. Lost sight in ONE eye a couple of years ago. His other eye is fine. Pretends he can't see and walks around with his arms in front of him. Apparently can't see a cup of tea that's an arms length away. I was fitting the TV on the wall and when levelling it up I was asking for opinions on how straight it was and which way it needed adjusting. Her mum said nothing as she only got a big mouth when she's not even nearly being helpful. Her dad pipes up that it's straight and needs no more adjusting. He's ten feet from the TV. I tell him to be quiet because he can't even see his hands. The telly didn't need any more adjusting and was indeed straight. Hamming Prick. The big jug has accumulated kit. It seems it doesn't get used though as there's always piss on the seat when he's in the bathroom. Still, at least there was always a pair of tights on the towel radiator to mop it up with. And lights. Every frickin light was always on. I'm still falling over sweeties that she's left behind. Celebrations, heroes, maltesers...... I don't know how the fat cow doesn't have diabetes. Disappointed that you didn’t inform us of this visit earlier Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 2 hours ago, IronJambo said: They've just been here for the wee man's birthday. I was rather restrained because I was quite unwell. Her old man does my nut in. Lost sight in ONE eye a couple of years ago. His other eye is fine. Pretends he can't see and walks around with his arms in front of him. Apparently can't see a cup of tea that's an arms length away. I was fitting the TV on the wall and when levelling it up I was asking for opinions on how straight it was and which way it needed adjusting. Her mum said nothing as she only got a big mouth when she's not even nearly being helpful. Her dad pipes up that it's straight and needs no more adjusting. He's ten feet from the TV. I tell him to be quiet because he can't even see his hands. The telly didn't need any more adjusting and was indeed straight. Hamming Prick. The big jug has accumulated kit. It seems it doesn't get used though as there's always piss on the seat when he's in the bathroom. Still, at least there was always a pair of tights on the towel radiator to mop it up with. And lights. Every frickin light was always on. I'm still falling over sweeties that she's left behind. Celebrations, heroes, maltesers...... I don't know how the fat cow doesn't have diabetes. I bet the wee man loves them. There will probably be a big jug on his Christmas list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 1 hour ago, iantjambo said: Disappointed that you didn’t inform us of this visit earlier Apologies. I've not been on here much in the last month due to being battered with man flu and labyrinthitis. The latter was great, felt like I was 5 pints deep every time I stood up. Not so keen on the tinnitus it's left behind though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 The Chase has been replaced by some shite called Cash Trapped! 🤬🤬🤬 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obua Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 1 hour ago, iantjambo said: The Chase has been replaced by some shite called Cash Trapped! 🤬🤬🤬 It looks shite at first ,It’s not that bad if you give it a chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 7 minutes ago, obua said: It looks shite at first ,It’s not that bad if you give it a chance. I watched it and enjoyed it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obua Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 1 minute ago, iantjambo said: I watched it and enjoyed it 👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Caine Posted November 15, 2019 Share Posted November 15, 2019 4 hours ago, iantjambo said: The Chase has been replaced by some shite called Cash Trapped! 🤬🤬🤬 You have to watch it to understand how it works but it's quite clever and there's much more to it than your standard quizes. It's apparently Walsh's own idea. I like it. It's one of the very few quizes i would ever consider going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tokyowalnut Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 Currently seething at the greed of people in the hotel I'm staying in. Filling plates up with a huge portion, eating only half then going back for more food, again not eating all of it. Sitting in the centre of London, homeless people everywhere and people in here wasting mountains of food! That's my save the people/environment rant of the day done 😄 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Sausage Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 Mrs has her pal round for dinner. Tell me they want steaks. I stick the hot plate on and prep the steaks. As I’m sticking them on the plate, they inform me they want them well done, so that’s my timings ****ed. End up with my steak resting for too long and going cold, while their arid burnt pieces of shit weren’t cooked enough for them. I am a shite chef, but I can cook a nice steak. Last minute curveballs have ruined my Saturday dinner. And her pal brought round profiteroles for pudding. I ****ing hate profiteroles. **** off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 21 minutes ago, Captain Sausage said: Mrs has her pal round for dinner. Tell me they want steaks. I stick the hot plate on and prep the steaks. As I’m sticking them on the plate, they inform me they want them well done, so that’s my timings ****ed. End up with my steak resting for too long and going cold, while their arid burnt pieces of shit weren’t cooked enough for them. I am a shite chef, but I can cook a nice steak. Last minute curveballs have ruined my Saturday dinner. And her pal brought round profiteroles for pudding. I ****ing hate profiteroles. **** off. Well done steaks Ruined. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 52 minutes ago, Ray Gin said: Well done steaks Ruined. may as well just chew on leather Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 40 minutes ago, milky_26 said: may as well just chew on leather Another of Janet’s food choices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagger Is Back Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 Ru Paul’s Drag Race The infuriating increase in the use of like and literally in language Strictly Jonathan Ross Graham Norton Trump Boris Hearts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuel Camazzola Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 2 hours ago, Captain Sausage said: Mrs has her pal round for dinner. Tell me they want steaks. I stick the hot plate on and prep the steaks. As I’m sticking them on the plate, they inform me they want them well done, so that’s my timings ****ed. End up with my steak resting for too long and going cold, while their arid burnt pieces of shit weren’t cooked enough for them. I am a shite chef, but I can cook a nice steak. Last minute curveballs have ruined my Saturday dinner. And her pal brought round profiteroles for pudding. I ****ing hate profiteroles. **** off. Tell her to find new pals if they are wasting good meat by requesting that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 2 hours ago, Ray Gin said: Well done steaks Ruined. I’m not a food snob by any stretch of the imagination. Until it comes to steaks. I genuinely fume when people ask for them to be cooked well done. ”Here’s a cracking piece of meat. Now cook the utter **** out of it” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted November 23, 2019 Share Posted November 23, 2019 3 hours ago, Ray Gin said: Well done steaks Ruined. My father-in-law says he can't taste the difference between any beer/lager. Then he'll go and order the most expensive pint on the menu along with a well done fillet steak. Grade A *****. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 on my way home from work today i spotted two houses that have christmas decorations up with lights in their windows etc. it is not even december yet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Z Posted November 27, 2019 Share Posted November 27, 2019 On 23/11/2019 at 10:23, Captain Sausage said: Mrs has her pal round for dinner. Tell me they want steaks. I stick the hot plate on and prep the steaks. As I’m sticking them on the plate, they inform me they want them well done, so that’s my timings ****ed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted November 28, 2019 Share Posted November 28, 2019 Not in work this week. The Mrs has decided to ruin Thursday but taking the day off and has dragged me out Christmas shopping. Ffs. Dying in Smyths right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ribble Posted November 28, 2019 Share Posted November 28, 2019 On 23/11/2019 at 17:23, Captain Sausage said: Mrs has her pal round for dinner. Tell me they want steaks. I stick the hot plate on and prep the steaks. As I’m sticking them on the plate, they inform me they want them well done, so that’s my timings ****ed. End up with my steak resting for too long and going cold, while their arid burnt pieces of shit weren’t cooked enough for them. I am a shite chef, but I can cook a nice steak. Last minute curveballs have ruined my Saturday dinner. And her pal brought round profiteroles for pudding. I ****ing hate profiteroles. **** off. I'd have ****ing well microwaved their steaks so mines was still hot by the time they were chomping into their leather on a plate, tramps wouldn't have known the difference anyway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3fingersreid Posted November 28, 2019 Share Posted November 28, 2019 Major roadworks at Gayfield , so which prick in the council okayed the road works at the west end of Queen street as well ? Arseholes the ****ing lot of them . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OBE Posted November 28, 2019 Share Posted November 28, 2019 2 minutes ago, 3fingersreid said: Major roadworks at Gayfield , so which prick in the council okayed the road works at the west end of Queen street as well ? Arseholes the ****ing lot of them . Deliberately done to piss everyone off. I'd empty the lot of them, amateurs in every department. Yellow vest protest anyone?...thought not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3fingersreid Posted November 28, 2019 Share Posted November 28, 2019 10 minutes ago, Old Blue Eyes said: Deliberately done to piss everyone off. I'd empty the lot of them, amateurs in every department. Yellow vest protest anyone?...thought not. Or stop voting for the same ****ing idiots Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted November 28, 2019 Share Posted November 28, 2019 2 hours ago, IronJambo said: Not in work this week. The Mrs has decided to ruin Thursday but taking the day off and has dragged me out Christmas shopping. Ffs. Dying in Smyths right now. Looking for a 'My First Big Jug' by any chance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OBE Posted November 28, 2019 Share Posted November 28, 2019 26 minutes ago, 3fingersreid said: Or stop voting for the same ****ing idiots Other ****ing idiots with idle promises are waiting patiently for your vote...politics are fecked, have been for a long long time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FWJ Posted November 29, 2019 Share Posted November 29, 2019 People that park right at the entrance to a car wash and then saunter into the kiosk to pay for it blocking it for those who pay first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tokyowalnut Posted November 29, 2019 Share Posted November 29, 2019 3 minutes ago, FWJ said: People that park right at the entrance to a car wash and then saunter into the kiosk to pay for it blocking it for those who pay first. Yes!! This brings on the Michael Douglas in me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheetah Posted November 29, 2019 Share Posted November 29, 2019 Newcastle xmas market can get to ****, almost impossible to walk through the city centre now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sooperstar Posted November 29, 2019 Share Posted November 29, 2019 1 hour ago, FWJ said: People that park right at the entrance to a car wash and then saunter into the kiosk to pay for it blocking it for those who pay first. Have done this once and would again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey J J Jr Shabadoo Posted November 29, 2019 Share Posted November 29, 2019 3 hours ago, Sooperstar said: Have done this once and would again. Aye, if you're not fast, you're last. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Салатные палочки Posted December 2, 2019 Share Posted December 2, 2019 You good people in the East get the lovely Emma Cameron presenting the news, we in the west get egghead John. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Future's Maroon Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 On 14/11/2019 at 18:56, IronJambo said: To avoid confusion, I didn't mean either of the above with "reverse poo". I'm not a complete animal. I meant do a dump in her toilet whilst sat on the seat facing the wrong way round. The resulting jobby will slide all the way down the front part of the inside of the bowl, leaving a nice mess behind. Left alone for a few hours it's not a nice or easy clean up. Talking from experience I’m guessing?! On 28/11/2019 at 11:45, Old Blue Eyes said: Deliberately done to piss everyone off. I'd empty the lot of them, amateurs in every department. Yellow vest protest anyone?...thought not. The idiots up top/in charge I will agree with, however to say amateurs in every dept is a little wrong, I know plenty, good, hard working people within the Cooncil. Some of the management and senior staff/Councillors yes I agree 100% (I deal with them on a daily basis unfortunately), not fair to tar all staff with the shit stick though 😉 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OBE Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 1 hour ago, The Future's Maroon said: Talking from experience I’m guessing?! The idiots up top/in charge I will agree with, however to say amateurs in every dept is a little wrong, I know plenty, good, hard working people within the Cooncil. Some of the management and senior staff/Councillors yes I agree 100% (I deal with them on a daily basis unfortunately), not fair to tar all staff with the shit stick though 😉 My generalisation was wrong. It's shameful that the competents are being run by idiots. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ribble Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 2 hours ago, The Future's Maroon said: Talking from experience I’m guessing?! The idiots up top/in charge I will agree with, however to say amateurs in every dept is a little wrong, I know plenty, good, hard working people within the Cooncil. Some of the management and senior staff/Councillors yes I agree 100% (I deal with them on a daily basis unfortunately), not fair to tar all staff with the shit stick though 😉 I've dealt with half the councils in scotland professionally and Edinburgh Council in my personal life, not once have I come across a single person that I would call competent at their job, there are no doubt some otherwise the doors would be shut by now but I'm yet to meet them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 4 hours ago, The Future's Maroon said: Talking from experience I’m guessing?! 😉 A couple of decades ago 🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tian447 Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 Ads on Kickback are driving me insane. On mobile, they don't load at the same time as the page content, meaning you're about to click on a thread, and then suddenly it's moved a few centimetres because some ****ing advert has decided to load. Also, none of my adverts are any good and are all for utter shite I have no interest in. My browsing history should mean I at least get some half decent ones... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 6 minutes ago, tian447 said: Ads on Kickback are driving me insane. On mobile, they don't load at the same time as the page content, meaning you're about to click on a thread, and then suddenly it's moved a few centimetres because some ****ing advert has decided to load. Also, none of my adverts are any good and are all for utter shite I have no interest in. My browsing history should mean I at least get some half decent ones... I treat it as a challenge, try to click on your next page before the bad loads. It does mean I end up on a lot of people’s profile pages thus making me look like a stalker. Ah well, it also gives me an almost valid excuse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tian447 Posted December 3, 2019 Share Posted December 3, 2019 1 minute ago, superjack said: I treat it as a challenge, try to click on your next page before the bad loads. It does mean I end up on a lot of people’s profile pages thus making me look like a stalker. Ah well, it also gives me an almost valid excuse. I think I view more profiles than threads these days for this very reason! I would even pay an extra subscription if it meant a 100% ad free experience (most adblockers are shite on mobile) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted December 4, 2019 Share Posted December 4, 2019 11 hours ago, tian447 said: I think I view more profiles than threads these days for this very reason! I would even pay an extra subscription if it meant a 100% ad free experience (most adblockers are shite on mobile) If you’re on an iPhone Adguard Pro works really well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 bloody wind has party knocked down my greenhouse last night. i need to go and take the roof off it so it does not get damaged any further before i rebuild it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OBE Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 4 hours ago, milky_26 said: bloody wind has party knocked down my greenhouse last night. i need to go and take the roof off it so it does not get damaged any further before i rebuild it Get over it, never buy anything green. Wind having a party, that bit needs a wee bit more explanation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shanks said no Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 On 03/12/2019 at 09:52, Ribble said: I've dealt with half the councils in scotland professionally and Edinburgh Council in my personal life, not once have I come across a single person that I would call competent at their job, there are no doubt some otherwise the doors would be shut by now but I'm yet to meet them. This post deserves some recognition 👏👏 Council employees are similar to teachers, they could never make it in the real world Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 1 hour ago, The Frenchman Returns said: This post deserves some recognition 👏👏 Council employees are similar to teachers, they could never make it in the real world You hear that, @Der Kaiser ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nobreath Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 1 hour ago, The Frenchman Returns said: This post deserves some recognition 👏👏 Council employees are similar to teachers, they could never make it in the real world The real world wooo... This is like a quote from the the smug arsehole character that Jeremy Clarkson likes to play. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cade Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 Some of my teachers were: An ex-journalist for several major fleet street publications and a published author A historian who has had several history textbooks published Head of marketing for an English premier league team An ex bank manager A practising high court solicitor A UN special rapporteur Feckin wasters the lot of them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Kaiser Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 3 hours ago, The Frenchman Returns said: This post deserves some recognition 👏👏 Council employees are similar to teachers, they could never make it in the real world 2 hours ago, Morgan said: You hear that, @Der Kaiser ? Wouldn't last half a day in my shoes...... Unless he can drink a lot of coffee and touch himself a lot...wait.....he's a Frenchman? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shanks said no Posted December 8, 2019 Share Posted December 8, 2019 31 minutes ago, Cade said: Some of my teachers were: An ex-journalist for several major fleet street publications and a published author A historian who has had several history textbooks published Head of marketing for an English premier league team An ex bank manager A practising high court solicitor A UN special rapporteur Feckin wasters the lot of them one of mine became a Labour MP for 20 odd years, then a life peer, we must have gone to different schools! ok ok not all teachers are bad before I get more personal messages! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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