Malinga the Swinga Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Looking at all the recent posts,, there seem to be a lot of posters who are 'IN THE KNOW'. What I want to know is how do you become one of these posters. Other than creeping about in pubs that players go to, stalking them at ricarton, how do you get to have all these secret contacts, giving out confidential club information. Is there some form of test you need to pass to become 'IN THE KNOW'. Guess it would involve having no friends, no life and the ability to belive that if a player says Hello, he is really your new best friend and you have arrived in the big time. Having said this, I have now decided I don't really fancy being 'IN THE KNOW' and wil continue to ignore any of these posters, until I see offical confirmation from Hearts as to what is actually happening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adi Dassler Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Edinburgh is a small place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Maroonblood Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Looking at all the recent posts,, there seem to be a lot of posters who are 'IN THE KNOW'. What I want to know is how do you become one of these posters. Other than creeping about in pubs that players go to, stalking them at ricarton, how do you get to have all these secret contacts, giving out confidential club information. Is there some form of test you need to pass to become 'IN THE KNOW'. Guess it would involve having no friends, no life and the ability to belive that if a player says Hello, he is really your new best friend and you have arrived in the big time. Having said this, I have now decided I don't really fancy being 'IN THE KNOW' and wil continue to ignore any of these posters, until I see offical confirmation from Hearts as to what is actually happening. Just slaver and you will be one of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drylaw Hearts Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Stevenson College do an evening course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBigO Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Calton Hill + vaseline Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zdrastvway Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 It seems most just write "I'm ITK". Easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debut 4 Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Edinburgh is a small place. its bigger than Manhattan.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deevers Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Read tripe posted on another site and post it on here as fact! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debtor Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Just slaver and you will be one of them. That is the way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Looking at all the recent posts,, there seem to be a lot of posters who are 'IN THE KNOW'. What I want to know is how do you become one of these posters. Other than creeping about in pubs that players go to, stalking them at ricarton, how do you get to have all these secret contacts, giving out confidential club information. Is there some form of test you need to pass to become 'IN THE KNOW'. Guess it would involve having no friends, no life and the ability to belive that if a player says Hello, he is really your new best friend and you have arrived in the big time. Having said this, I have now decided I don't really fancy being 'IN THE KNOW' and wil continue to ignore any of these posters, until I see offical confirmation from Hearts as to what is actually happening. Know fans who are as you would say "uber fans"who have been involved with hearts in some shape or form since the 60s through to the present day,people who are now shareholders and are involved with the club through the war memorial trip each year and are well known to the club...one or two come on here even!!,people like this do exist and may just know something you don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serj Tankian Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Join the lodge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiberius Stinkfinger Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Spout as much drivel as possible on as many sites as you can and the law of averages says you will get something vaguely correct...... Then and only then, are you ITK... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamboruss Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Know fans who are as you would say "uber fans"who have been involved with hearts in some shape or form since the 60s through to the present day,people who are now shareholders and are involved with the club through the war memorial trip each year and are well known to the club...one or two come on here even!!,people like this do exist and may just know something you don't. Alternatively, the y pretend to have an association with someone at the club, however tenuous, and slaver third hand pish, like the vast majority on this forum! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Alternatively, the y pretend to have an association with someone at the club, however tenuous, and slaver third hand pish, like the vast majority on this forum! Aye that aswell right enough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruno Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 I think its mostly just sad people who spend too long hanging around Tynecastle / Riccarton, they develop some kind of relationship with some of the football professionals who can't avoid them / take pity on them and start feeding them titbits of complete nonsense that make the losers in question feel important. The only people who will know anything about signings and dressing room business will be JJ and his team of coaches, Vlad and a few executives at the club, none of whom would ever spill any gossip to run of the mill fans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spellczech Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 ITK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
super_vlad Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 learn Lithuanian! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dode Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Sometimes its the social Circle,sometimes making yourself a bit of a face at Training/ POY do's ,just enough to make your face familiar. Anyway beyond that you need to be creative with the facts add a pinch of opinion and away it goes, now due to the Internet it becomes a big game of Chinese whispers. Eg JJ mifed at being told who to play(rightly)apparently via a stream of whispers on net Appears to have walked /been sacked/sold two players whatever... anyway each of these is supplied by someone in the know or a wee tosser who has a laptop. As we all know the media pick up on the unrest and fannys yer auntie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CostaJambo Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 A vivid imagination and a strong desire to be listened to by others will help. Or failing that, you could frequent the Jolly Judge, on the look out for a gammy-legged Barbour jacket wearer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alwaysthereinspirit Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 I usually depend on my wife. She lets me know what I need to know and what I dont need to know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lewis2006 Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Shop in Tesco. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Francis Albert Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Some more advice for aspiring "IKT"ers. A good technique is to latch onto a mega-thread early on and post a cryptic "I am afraid it's true" or such like. This of course allows you to take credit for the 1% of the speculation that turns out to have a grain of truth and to disown the 99% of crap, enhancing your IKT status. Another rule is NEVER to go back to a thread that turns out to be total crap. In the unlikely event that another poster picks you up and asks "what was all that at about?" there are two options. One is a pious "I was only passing it on from a usually reliable source because Ii thought my fellow Hearts fans deserve to know", but since that comes dangerously close to admitting you were wrong, a better approach is perhaps the equally pious "It is a sad day when people have nothing better to do than attack fellow Hearts fans". The best at the latter technique has alas retired from JKB. I suppose it also helps to be deluded enough to think that owning a few quids worth of shares or going on the Contalmaison trip makes you some sort of "insider". Oh, and ITK is also a collective. If you post once in a hundred times something that turns out to be true, all your future posts wil get a "ITK is not the sort to post rubbish - he's been right before" reply or two Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flux Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Greggs or Facebook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad-Stupid Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Some more advice for aspiring "IKT"ers. A good technique is to latch onto a mega-thread early on and post a cryptic "I am afraid it's true" or such like. This of course allows you to take credit for the 1% of the speculation that turns out to have a grain of truth and to disown the 99% of crap, enhancing your IKT status. Another rule is NEVER to go back to a thread that turns out to be total crap. In the unlikely event that another poster picks you up and asks "what was all that at about?" there are two options. One is a pious "I was only passing it on from a usually reliable source because Ii thought my fellow Hearts fans deserve to know", but since that comes dangerously close to admitting you were wrong, a better approach is perhaps the equally pious "It is a sad day when people have nothing better to do than attack fellow Hearts fans". The best at the latter technique has alas retired from JKB. I suppose it also helps to be deluded enough to think that owning a few quids worth of shares or going on the Contalmaison trip makes you some sort of "insider". Oh, and ITK is also a collective. If you post once in a hundred times something that turns out to be true, all your future posts wil get a "ITK is not the sort to post rubbish - he's been right before" reply or two Brilliant summary pretty obvious who youre mainly talking about too FWIW, I know two people who are very good mates (actually socialise regularly with) with 1st team players and neither of them get ANY sort of ITK info. This leads me to believe that anyone claiming to be ITK probably is either a slaver or hears something 2nd or 3rd hand (which probably started as speculation) and passing it off as hearing it first hand. Also some people just like the attention! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Some more advice for aspiring "IKT"ers. A good technique is to latch onto a mega-thread early on and post a cryptic "I am afraid it's true" or such like. This of course allows you to take credit for the 1% of the speculation that turns out to have a grain of truth and to disown the 99% of crap, enhancing your IKT status. Another rule is NEVER to go back to a thread that turns out to be total crap. In the unlikely event that another poster picks you up and asks "what was all that at about?" there are two options. One is a pious "I was only passing it on from a usually reliable source because Ii thought my fellow Hearts fans deserve to know", but since that comes dangerously close to admitting you were wrong, a better approach is perhaps the equally pious "It is a sad day when people have nothing better to do than attack fellow Hearts fans". The best at the latter technique has alas retired from JKB. I suppose it also helps to be deluded enough to think that owning a few quids worth of shares or going on the Contalmaison trip makes you some sort of "insider". Oh, and ITK is also a collective. If you post once in a hundred times something that turns out to be true, all your future posts wil get a "ITK is not the sort to post rubbish - he's been right before" reply or two Oh that digs at me?the question was asked and i answered,tell me is that not what your supposed to do or am i just not I.T.K....I can see what your saying as there's that many different storys going on in here about what happened it's a joke but why not just give the thread a wide berth and then it'll not affect your karma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad-Stupid Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Oh that digs at me?the question was asked and i answered,tell me is that not what your supposed to do or am i just not I.T.K....I can see what your saying as there's that many different storys going on in here about what happened it's a joke but why not just give the thread a wide berth and then it'll not affect your karma I don't think he's talking about you Stu, either that or I got it spectacularly wrong but I thought he was talking bout another poster on here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tams bird Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Im not even ITK in my own house so dont ask me.... Maybe become a taxi driver.... I passed Tynnie on way home... And no foreign tv crews reporting match fixing scandels... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Lithuania Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 My friend is very close with Marian Kello and Rudi Skacel. It's just luck. I get told things now and again but am always told to be quiet about them because it's people careers at risk, and although I am told things, quite frankly it's none of my business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiberius Stinkfinger Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 My friend is very close with Marian Kello and Rudi Skacel. It's just luck. I get told things now and again but am always told to be quiet about them because it's people careers at risk, and although I am told things, quite frankly it's none of my business. You have potential.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 I don't think he's talking about you Stu, either that or I got it spectacularly wrong but I thought he was talking bout another poster on here! It was me as the comment about shares and contalmaison were from an earlier post i made about joe public and the club,not loosing any sleep over it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The People's Chimp Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 A vivid imagination and a strong desire to be listened to by others will help. Or failing that, you could frequent the Jolly Judge, on the look out for a gammy-legged Barbour jacket wearer. Exactly. Until he's had his weekly chat with Romanov, nobody is ITK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gershwin Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 I play for the U12s. Find out most of my information around the vending machines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FTH Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 I usually depend on my wife. She lets me know what I need to know and what I dont need to know. So she does that with information as well as your wages then Kevin? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaun.lawson Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLjwRuOoakI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Francis Albert Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 It was me as the comment about shares and contalmaison were from an earlier post i made about joe public and the club,not loosing any sleep over it My karma is fine and good to know yours is too. My post wasn't really aimed at you at all (I am not aware you have ever shown any aspiration to be ITK) - in fact it was sort of backing up your point about some of the people who claim to be IKT, although we may differ about whether they really are IKT. All I know is that if real IKTs spill confidences on the internet I think it's unlikely they will really be IKT for long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 My karma is fine and good to know yours is too. My post wasn't really aimed at you at all (I am not aware you have ever shown any aspiration to be ITK) - in fact it was sort of backing up your point about some of the people who claim to be IKT, although we may differ about whether they really are IKT. All I know is that if real IKTs spill confidences on the internet I think it's unlikely they will really be IKT for long. Apology's on jumping on it,not like me right enough!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLjwRuOoakI Chuckle,chuckle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denny Crane Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Phone up the Jolly Judge pub Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriel Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Phone up the Jolly Judge pub In my opinion, that was the greatest Kickback thread ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavsy Van Gaverson Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Just make something up. If it later comes true then you are 'In the know'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jam Tarts 1874 Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 There are a couple of posters who by virtue of where they work get the odd bit of team news. The collective ITK showed itself up spectacularly during the Mark McGhee supremacy. This was the ITK's biggest test, yet not one of them got anywhere near picking Csaba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey J J Jr Shabadoo Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Get up of your butt plug and type the first thing that pops into your head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Francis Albert Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLjwRuOoakI Brilliant. And Shaun, your recent work on the "Zaliukas dropped by Zal thread" is up there on the satirical super-scale. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coburg Hearts Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Some more advice for aspiring "IKT"ers. A good technique is to latch onto a mega-thread early on and post a cryptic "I am afraid it's true" or such like. This of course allows you to take credit for the 1% of the speculation that turns out to have a grain of truth and to disown the 99% of crap, enhancing your IKT status. Another rule is NEVER to go back to a thread that turns out to be total crap. In the unlikely event that another poster picks you up and asks "what was all that at about?" there are two options. One is a pious "I was only passing it on from a usually reliable source because Ii thought my fellow Hearts fans deserve to know", but since that comes dangerously close to admitting you were wrong, a better approach is perhaps the equally pious "It is a sad day when people have nothing better to do than attack fellow Hearts fans". The best at the latter technique has alas retired from JKB. I suppose it also helps to be deluded enough to think that owning a few quids worth of shares or going on the Contalmaison trip makes you some sort of "insider". Oh, and ITK is also a collective. If you post once in a hundred times something that turns out to be true, all your future posts wil get a "ITK is not the sort to post rubbish - he's been right before" reply or two Great stuff as usual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartyhub Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 I have only been in the know once but it was a good feeling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scott_jambo Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Quite simple. 1) PM people leaked "information" that you know can't keep their mouths shut. 2) State publicly on the messageboard that you are in the know but would never disclose said "information" to anyone in case the uber important info is detrimental to the club. Total wallopers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denny Crane Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 Some more advice for aspiring "IKT"ers. A good technique is to latch onto a mega-thread early on and post a cryptic "I am afraid it's true" or such like. This of course allows you to take credit for the 1% of the speculation that turns out to have a grain of truth and to disown the 99% of crap, enhancing your IKT status. Another rule is NEVER to go back to a thread that turns out to be total crap. In the unlikely event that another poster picks you up and asks "what was all that at about?" there are two options. One is a pious "I was only passing it on from a usually reliable source because Ii thought my fellow Hearts fans deserve to know", but since that comes dangerously close to admitting you were wrong, a better approach is perhaps the equally pious "It is a sad day when people have nothing better to do than attack fellow Hearts fans". The best at the latter technique has alas retired from JKB. I suppose it also helps to be deluded enough to think that owning a few quids worth of shares or going on the Contalmaison trip makes you some sort of "insider". Oh, and ITK is also a collective. If you post once in a hundred times something that turns out to be true, all your future posts wil get a "ITK is not the sort to post rubbish - he's been right before" reply or two Also, when you are challenged to back up what you know, start crying about being picked on. You'll be amazed how some forum users rally to a sobbing martyr thus deflecting the attention of investigation leaving you to spread more wildfire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seymour M Hersh Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 It's a 25 year apprentceship. Firstly you must graduate from either Harvard or Yale, Cum Laude, then become a Navy Seal for 15 (taking part in the killing of infamous terrorists). Then the 25 years. Easy peasy lemon squeezy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H2 Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 you just go to Greigs. All the people in the know knew last night the JJ stuff was guff, Greigs was shut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thunderstruck Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 According to David Niven, the Director Michael Curtiz said: "You people think I know **** nothing. Well, let me tell you, I know **** all." I don't know why that came to mind but knowing **** nothing/all seems to be the only qualification for being ITK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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