Smack Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 In a nutshell I was pish. I used to roll out the old chestnut that injury prevented me from making it, neglecting to mention my lack of talent. I could dribble and turn, spot a pass, ran about a fair bit, but for some reason I always struggled to hit the ball in a straight line. I've studied my left foot at great length, and it certainly doesn't appear to be shaped like a 50p piece. You'd never know it wasn't 50p shaped if you saw one of my "attempts" on goal. Some of my best goals were passes. Please post your tale of woe here, and if you did make it, or were genuinely hindered by injury, I'm not interested (or bitter ). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P-Dizzle Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Because I scored two own goals in my first match before running to my dad crying in P1, and the coach saying "Son, you've not got it"... I maintain that I have always had the poacher's instinct, I just didn't know which way to shoot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitecapjambo Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Ma knees! I still maintain I was on track when I went down with an ACL injury playing div 2 amateur when I was 23! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smack Posted April 16, 2011 Author Share Posted April 16, 2011 Because I scored two own goals in my first match before running to my dad crying in P1, and the coach saying "Son, you've not got it"...I maintain that I have always had the poacher's instinct, I just didn't know which way to shoot. Properly laughed at the bit in bold. P1 is a bit early to write a kid off, it took until at least P5 before I was found out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P-Dizzle Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I gave up sport from the age of 5 until I took up rugby at 10, never got back into football in a playing capacity again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.J Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I was shite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlanB Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Too slow, couldn't pass, couldn't shoot, couldn't tackle, couldn't trap a ball, couldn't beat a man, couldn't take corners, throw-ins, free kicks or penalties... I was however, asked by auld pishy drawers to play for the hobo's the day after they were knocked out the cup by East Fife in the early 80's. An offer which I politely declined by saying "eff off, even I'm too good for you lot" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smack Posted April 16, 2011 Author Share Posted April 16, 2011 Ma knees! I still maintain I was on track when I went down with an ACL injury playing div 2 amateur when I was 23! Aye, yir baws it was yir knees, you were gash like the rest of us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weststand93 Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 glass ankles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mutley Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I kept on tripping over my wanger. No matter what i tried it was always in the road Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest C00l K1d Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Was a no bad player when i was younger, gave up when i was 13 due to the coach being an erse. Everyone my age just got better as they were all at clubs and i didn't and got shite Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smack Posted April 16, 2011 Author Share Posted April 16, 2011 I kept on tripping over my wanger. No matter what i tried it was always in the road Think I played against you back in the day. Did you not commit a professional foul by lassoing me with the old sausage? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denny Crane Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 A fondness of grub put paid to my outfield dreams (a no-nonsense centre-half who could hit a Koeman-esque free-kick) and while I was quite a good goalie, low shots to my left was my weak spot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Rev Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Come 15 years old I was more interested in drinking, smoking, eating etc. Without sounding big headed, I was actually a pretty decent goalie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Cheever Loophole Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Too slow, couldn't pass, couldn't shoot, couldn't tackle, couldn't trap a ball, couldn't beat a man, couldn't take corners, throw-ins, free kicks or penalties... I was however, asked by auld pishy drawers to play for the hobo's the day after they were knocked out the cup by East Fife in the early 80's. An offer which I politely declined by saying "eff off, even I'm too good for you lot" Classic AB.Years ago towards the end of my"career FFS"I was told to "have a good game"as there was some team watching me.I asked who and the guy said Juve,Juve, "Juventus I finished for him."No" he said,Fray Bentos,True BTW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Le Tissier Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Was a no bad keeper till p7 the when moved to High School i took the rugby option as i was more built for it =). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
portobellojambo1 Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 A cerebral subarachnoid haemorhage at age 16 scuppered my dreams. All I'd ever wanted to be as a kid was a footballer, at that age I hadn't given any thought to the money side, was too young to think about that. I just wanted to play football, morning, noon and night (and did). I knew I was good, was told I was very, very good (Robbo's old man told my parents I was like a combination of Johnny and Willie Hamilton, and gave me my nickname which is what everyone knew me as thereafter). The one thing I said when young was I never ever wanted to waste my life away working in an office. After it became apparent I would be unable to pursue a football career at the top level I was aiming for I ended up spending my life working in feckin offices. Such is life. Went back to playing in local leagues eventually and 5 a sides etc (against medical advice), and eventually had to call it a day at around age 45. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lewis2006 Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Playing in a band, smoking, booze and woman....in that order Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tams bird Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I'm a laydee so i couldnt get the hang of the off side rule ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DG_HMFC Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 No encouragement from anyone in my family. As a young lad I was lucky enough to win the Hamilton Cup with Craiglockhart primary, scoring 2 goals in the final As I got older i jumped around from club to club and never really had the dedication to work hard and stay focused - then I found drink, fags and women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jam Tarts 1874 Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 No pace, lightweight, couldn't dribble and a lack of composure. However I could take the ball of anyone and was great at crossing and shooting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Comedian Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I was a promising attacking midfielder when younger, played for Fife and Celtic at various points. Got me goals against Dundee United, Arbroath and one against the Hobo's. One of my fave memories is taking a letter to school so I could get out 45 minutes early to travel for training. Aswell as being an injury magnet I wasn't really interested in being a football player, I just happened to be good at it. I just drifted away getting sick at the nepotism. Made excuses and what not to miss training etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moz Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I'm a laydee so i couldnt get the hang of the off side rule ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Currahee! Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I was too slow. This made me a dirty player. In my mind I was amazing. I was pretty far from amazing. Ok but thats all. Plus I'm lazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micole Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Sex and Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll, sigh!! but i had a great time Oh! i wisnae very good as well, never stopped Andy Watson though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debut 4 Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I`d rather talk about friends who should have made it. Bugs me to this day the backward view scottish football has always had on late developers or the general outlook it had on what you needed to succeed...and that was be physical and run all day. Im going back to the early 90`s. Met an old team mate in Morrison`s yesterday, good Jam Tart aswell, and believe me the guy was a player. The problem was, bearing in mind the coaching view back then, was he got a break when he was 18 but that ran into him having to step up to Under 21`s. Under 21`s is often frowned upon as full of players who weren`t good enough to make it, it was viewed that way then anyway. He became frustrated. He was a trememdous midfielder but he got played at right back when he played with the pro team in friendly games. He was the type not to suffer bullsh t and he always said he`d walk away if he got mucked about or wasn`t enjoying it. So he did, he dramaticially packed in football for 3 years but came back at the latter end of under 21s but by then it was over for him. Scotland has always been blighted with the "its not what you know but who you know" culture and honestly, i`ve seen guys get trials who couldn`t lace the boots of some of the guys i know. We`ve had too much of a backwards attitude towards football and as a small country never covered all possibilities to get as many good players as possible. We slag England but they do all they can to find talent, hidden talent, and sometimes it can be guys 22, 23 getting their break. (ps...apologies for going all serious! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boof Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Short-sight meant I couldn't play without specs and thus never headed a ball properly. And never having scouts in Shetland. And not being all that good, though enthusiastic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan_R Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 unfit and inconsistent. Frustratingly I can produce moments of skill which give the illusion I'm actually pretty good but the rest of the time I'm dire. Never been as fit as I could be either but I'm working on that. I can use both feet though which seems to annoy the hell out of everyone at 5s as they never know which way I'm going to go (problem is most of the time.. neither do I!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan_R Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Short-sight meant I couldn't play without specs and thus never headed a ball properly. And never having scouts in Shetland. And not being all that good, though enthusiastic. Try and get a game for the official football team of SHETLAND They play in the island games, that would be class. Wee "internationals" v greenland and the like. Its how the Faroe Islands started out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bebeto Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I have the current Hearts management team and John Lambie to thank. Was at Falkirk as a promising 16 year old when Mr Jeffries and Mr Brown and Mr Murray left to go to Hearts. The trio obviously couldnt see how good I was and left me behind at Falkirk. Then on the Monday Mr John Lambie came in and had a meeting with all the youth teams and scrapped the lot!!!! Moved to Partick Thistle after that where Kenny Arthur was my number 2. Then I found Mr Tennents Lager and the rest is a blur. Thanks JJ but all is forgiven since you won the cup in '98 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Spacey Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Just never really played (played in a team maybe 10 times through primary), never got any encouragement. Been told by a mate lately that I have a footballing brain, just don't have the experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GforGallo Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 A lack of heading ability put paid to my chances. Came third in the Antwerp University Futsal tournament though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 A combination of a total lack of ability, no footballing brain, no fitness or desire to run about, being pretty much scared of the ball coming towards me, unable to pick out a pass to a team mate five yards away, putting my head on the ball means that it will bounce in an entirely random direction as my eyes will be closed and the ball will inevitably scud off my crown and not my forehead. Add to this my lack of fitness, chronic morbid obesity and the teachers strike of the mid 80's which meant that there was no opportunity to play football, even for a team of asthmatic, speccy no-hopers, which I might have gotten into I suppose. Also, I'm an artist, I'm a poet type, ergo I am shite at football a la the dockside gaylords. It's just that I'm not deluded enough to imagine that I'm any good. I love the game though, love watching, love watching my son (who is 11 and pretty good actually), but then I love food, but I'm no Gordon Ramsay, I love movies, but I'm no Scorcese, I love music, but I'm no Eric Clapton. What amazes me about this is how few boys from my school made it in football. My P7 class were unbeaten for a year, won everything, every game they played that year so they must have had a couple of good players, but not one made it even to 's' forms. There was one guy in the year above that had a contract at Falkirk, but was released after a year or two without threatening the first team. Apart from that, not a one. I know one laddie just now who's in and out of the first team at Falkirk, I used to babysit him 15 years ago! I don't think he's going to make it either, but he's the closest person I actually know to making it in the game. Just shows you how hard it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Le Clos Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Not good enough. Could have a played at an alright level I suppose if I'd really stuck at it. I was always better at rugby and sticking with it was the right decision and I played at a decent level. Stopped rugby now because of shoulder injuries and looking to get back into football so I'll have a better idea of how good/poor I am next season! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToadKiller Dog Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 The U12s team i played for were awful our best result in the season i played was getting beat 7-3 ,we usually lost by 10 or more and scored about 2 goals . I was tall for my age so was put at the back not that it really mattered the one game i was put up front we lost 14-2 if my memory is right and i scored 2 own goals .As an outfield player was only good at kicking people . I was a decent shot stopper in goal . As a teen i was built for running fast for about 98m and was a good long and triple jumper but couldnt jump upwards . Then i found booze and sports star dreams went away . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andrewjambo Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I'm 32 and haven't given up the dream of playing for hearts, if JJ would just return my calls and come watch me play fives on a Tuesday he'd realise I'd be an able deputy for Kyle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debtor Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I think the eight goals at Penicuik, the five at Saughton, the eight at Dunfermline and the constant need to change teams after every game. Life as a goalkeeper is not easy wearing glasses in the mud....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I think the eight goals at Penicuik, the five at Saughton, the eight at Dunfermline and the constant need to change teams after every game. Life as a goalkeeper is not easy wearing glasses in the mud....... 1) Donald Park, when he was Meadowbank coach wanted me to go with Meadowbank but Terry Christie, the then manager got the boot and DP took ove as manager. A wee club like that never had teh resources to worry aout me after that 2) Playing Centre Forward in a Scotland trial the wind was so strong our Goalie took a bye kick, it went to the 18 yard line and blew out for a corner. I never got a kick and got subbed early in the 2nd half I was pish anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I was told I was too slow. After busting my leg I found my pace and was all set to try out for Shadywell Star and then I moved to England. Also teams couldn't afford to pay my wage demands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beverley Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 i'm a girl and at school girls did NOT play football.. they played hockey and/or netball was kinda decent at both (not great) but got bored with it i did have kevin twaddle in my classes at high school. ate, drank, slept hearts that boy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Gin Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I'm unfit, my second touch is a tackle, I can't dribble, can't head the ball despite my height, and 90% of my shots end up sclaffed or 20 metres over the bar. Hibs were very interested in offering me a youth contract but unfortunately a grazed knee ended my footballing career before it started. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FilmBuff Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I was on the books with Raith when I was MUCH younger. Played in the same teams as Mickey Cameron but never made the step up to the first team (sat on the bench once or twice). Like loads of guys I was good enough but not good enough. Had always done well at school as well as playing so when I realised I wasn't ever going to make real money out of the game I gave it up, went to Uni and haven't played a competitve game since I was 17. I haven't played in a kick-around since about the same time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan Johnson Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I was an alright player, my finishing and passing are still pretty good at a decent fives level but to put it bluntly I was never going to make it physically. Still proud of the fact that as a kid in first and second division boys club teams I went 2 and a half years without missing a one-on-one but I was too wee to make it at a big club and I wasn't quick enough or fit enough either. By the time I was about 15 there was no motivation to work hard at them and as is always the case, drink and girls took over. Still haven't given up in my head though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnjl Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Because I'm talentless and bone idle. Next question please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snake Plissken Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 In short, I'm just not very good. My problem is one of technique, not physique. I can run for hours and would be able to keep up with the physical training of any professional team but I just can't tackle, head the ball, control it or pass. I do take a decent corner. I've played some matches in goals and I'm capable of some truly outstanding saves but I'm inconsistent and not very good at kicking, on my day I'm a decent keeper but mostly I'm a not very good goalkeeper who can pull off some good saves now and again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Das Root Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I'm making more money as a porn star Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Libertonian_II Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I thought I was a better swimmer than football player I could have saved myself a few more early morning wake ups. Footballers don't do early mornings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamhammer Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Bottom of the Maybury League 5th division was my standard and I was lucky to play there. Pretty nippy forward with a terrible first touch, no vision and a total of 13 goals over two Seasons, (Better than Nade). Also played at left back and can't kick with me left foot. In short I was bloody awful in both positions but loved playing anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bajthejambo Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 I made it. I'm Marlon King. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluesy1874 Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 was and still am quite a decent keeper. played left back for high school and centre back for primary but cant play on certain pitches for some reason the 3G pitches make one of my knee's really sore not to sure why though . and because being 5ft6 and in goals is a bit of a disadvantage . I think the main reason was though i gave up football midway through my teens because my parents went through a lengthy divorce and my head wasnt in the right place put on weight and became unfit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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