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Classes of dumps


Jamboy81

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The Rugby Ball

Large girth. Feels like your trying to sqeeze a watermelon out your arse. Anxiety may set it that your end may be night and headlines like "Man dies of exploded rectum" flash before you.

 

The 2 Wiper

Requires zero wipes but one standard wipe followed by a confirmation wipe - and you're on your way.

 

The Slider

No matter how many times you wipe, it never goes away.

 

The Milkshake

Non-solid composition and usually follows a curry night.

 

Maltesers

Small and unoffensive although can leave you feeling inadequate as a man.

 

Big Brother

Big, fat and heavy but non painful to pass. Weighs the equivelant of a small child. Is satisfying.

 

The Anti-Christ

Black as the ace of spades and offensively smelly. To excrete one is to feel you are in the presence of evil.

 

 

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