Swanny17 Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Who decided that farting was bad etiquette? It is human nature, and we should all be allowed to let one rip freely without fear of embarrassment or work colleagues taking the hump. I can't imagine it bothers animals, such as cows in a field, too much if another of their species lets a cracker go. So why does this act of human nature get frowned upon? We have Fathers for Justice, I think we should start a "Justice for Farts" campaign. N.B. Following through should still be frowned upon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incompetnce Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I can't imagine it bothers animals, such as cows in a field, too much if another of their species lets a cracker go. They have space to move away. People in an office environment don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I can't fart anymore. I didn't realise how much I'd miss it On the plus side I'm exempt from blame when someone drops one in the boozer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deesidejambo Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Who decided that farting was bad etiquette? It is human nature, and we should all be allowed to let one rip freely without fear of embarrassment or work colleagues taking the hump. I can't imagine it bothers animals, such as cows in a field, too much if another of their species lets a cracker go. So why does this act of human nature get frowned upon? We have Fathers for Justice, I think we should start a "Justice for Farts" campaign. N.B. Following through should still be frowned upon. Why the prejudice against following through? Its a sick society if we can't soil the old keks without some do-gooder frowning at you. And anyway, farting is actually a primordial method of communication between alien life forms, according to David Icke. Try it - go down the pub, let one rip, and watch the facial expressions of those around you. Thats a natural alien response to your message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Auld Reekin' Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Who decided that farting was bad etiquette? It is human nature, and we should all be allowed to let one rip freely without fear of embarrassment or work colleagues taking the hump. I can't imagine it bothers animals, such as cows in a field, too much if another of their species lets a cracker go. So why does this act of human nature get frowned upon? We have Fathers for Justice, I think we should start a "Justice for Farts" campaign. N.B. Following through should still be frowned upon. "Farters For Justice", surely...??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I can't fart anymore. I didn't realise how much I'd miss it On the plus side I'm exempt from blame when someone drops one in the boozer. For some bizarre reason, I would like a further explanation on the above. Care to explain? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 For some bizarre reason, I would like a further explanation on the above. Care to explain? I had my bowel removed 11 months ago. A sad day, the end of my farting days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mundojambo Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 because it's smelly. i think there should be farting rooms in restaurants, like htey used to do with smoking. they outlawed smoking in pubs, that smells better than farts. but anyway, i think farting is fine, the louder the better, but as long as it doesn't smell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavsy Van Gaverson Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I had my bowel removed 11 months ago. A sad day, the end of my farting days. What a shame You cannae beat a Sunday moring fart, after a good scoop the night before Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sexton Hardcastle Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Its pretty brutal in a pub/club when someone lets one slip out and there is no smell of fags to cover it. It becomes a battle if you flag it up and point the finger or wait for someone else to get a whaft and then pile on with the blame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrishall Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Who decided that farting was bad etiquette? It is human nature, and we should all be allowed to let one rip freely without fear of embarrassment or work colleagues taking the hump. I can't imagine it bothers animals, such as cows in a field, too much if another of their species lets a cracker go. So why does this act of human nature get frowned upon? We have Fathers for Justice, I think we should start a "Justice for Farts" campaign. N.B. Following through should still be frowned upon. My main contention is when someone farts they release particles of their own **** into the atmosphere. I don't like most people and I certainly don't want to be inhaling bits of their excrement. However whatever floats your boat your freak..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swanny17 Posted November 3, 2009 Author Share Posted November 3, 2009 However whatever floats your boat your freak..... Just lightening the mood, freak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaps Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 This has the potential of being a classic thread:10900: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deesidejambo Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I may be in a minority here, but has any KB'er ever had the temptation to phone a mate on the mobile while having a dump and letting them listen to the splashing and farting noises? Just curious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eggo Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 It should be an Olympic sport in my opinion...Bare erse on a leather chair for volume:2thumbsup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miller Jambo 60 Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Who decided that farting was bad etiquette? It is human nature, and we should all be allowed to let one rip freely without fear of embarrassment or work colleagues taking the hump. I can't imagine it bothers animals, such as cows in a field, too much if another of their species lets a cracker go. So why does this act of human nature get frowned upon? We have Fathers for Justice, I think we should start a "Justice for Farts" campaign. N.B. Following through should still be frowned upon. Why is it bad cos its minging. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lewis2006 Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 This has the potential of being a classic thread:10900: I'll bet a tenner it doesn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I had my bowel removed 11 months ago. A sad day, the end of my farting days. Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about that, sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheile Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 One of the great pleasures of life is when having the first pee of the day to simultaneously let go a monster fart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seats Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 On a slightly seperate note, anyone ever go for a pee and be standing doing your business and realise you need more than a pee? Then it's too late to turn and sit - impossible to nip it - but you can't relax and let it go in case of back end release as well? no - only me? I'll get my coat.......................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andi17 Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Everyone should be allowed to fart freely unless they have had a king rib supper a truly horrendous whiff i saw a guy empty a pool room once with such a guff!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big D Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Deuchars is lethal. Nearly emptied the Golden Rule after a few of those once. Still couldn't get served in under 20 mins though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 My two year old thinks farting is the funniest thing on earth, his own or anyone else's. Farts are fairly digusting though. I'm not sure about the science behind the assertion that farts contain tiny bits of excrement, it's methane and some other gases I imagine and it gets it's smell from mixing with the poo. We are disgusted by the smell of rotten food becuase it's bad for us to eat so there's a reaction to the smell of rottenness which we learn and it protects us from eating and drink stuff that would make us sick. I saw that on a Robert Winston documentary a few years ago and you can trust him because of his lovely moustache. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craigieboy Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I'm sure that particles of excrement come out when I let one go. Feckin lovely when you can almost 'see' the fart. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
this_is_my_story Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 An excerpt from Mr Methane's "Candid Buttpipe Shockers". @ 2:02 - "Spice Bowels!" :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Phamism Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I'm off to Delhi on business next week. I'm always wary of a fart when in India............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Currahee! Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I'm off to Delhi on business next week. I'm always wary of a fart when in India............ I'm not surprised! I take it you go and sit on the can when you want to let one go just in case? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miller Jambo 60 Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I'm not surprised! I take it you go and sit on the can when you want to let one go just in case? Always mind being at the Gorgie road end say about 1974. An older guy dropped a *****r in front of me and the guy next to me said to bloke. When was the last time you had your head ventilated. Honestly the guy was going to hit him. Could be called fart rage. Doug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Phamism Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Indeed I do!!! Always try and 'evacuate; before I go to the factory in the morning 'cos they don't have cans.........just a hole in the floor!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neave Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Remember once I emptied half the dance floor (including a group of decent-looking lassies) in Stereo with a particularly bad one. It really was vile. Played along with everyone else, though, by looking around with a disgusted 'who the **** was that?' expression on my face. It was only until the taxi home I admitted to everyone it was me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i8hibsh Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I had my bowel removed 11 months ago. A sad day, the end of my farting days. Is that medically possible to have that removed! ouch dude I feel for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berrasbraw Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 One of the great pleasures of life is when having the first pee of the day to simultaneously let go a monster fart.bet you're really an old romantic in the morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 You need to be extremely careful when unleashing a Guinness fart! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Romanov Saviour of HMFC Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I had my bowel removed 11 months ago. A sad day, the end of my farting days. Can you still do a jobby? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Can you still do a jobby? Not out my arse I can't Though I am due another op to rectify that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Not out my arse I can't Though I am due another op to rectify that. Is that called rectifying your rectum? (Sorry mate, couldn't resist) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Romanov Saviour of HMFC Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Not out my arse I can't Though I am due another op to rectify that. That's mental! Thoughts are with family and friends. xoxo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Is that called rectifying your rectum? (Sorry mate, couldn't resist) That's mental! Thoughts are with family and friends. xoxo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorgiewave Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Not out my arse I can't Though I am due another op to rectify that. I was thinking of becoming a doctor once so I did a week of work experience in the Royal. They took us to see an operation on a man who was born without an anus. I don't know how such a thing might come about, but this guy was 35 and was on his 36th op about this (or the other way round). A crying shame, what a way to live. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miller Jambo 60 Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Is that called rectifying your rectum? (Sorry mate, couldn't resist) Yes you could have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Seeger Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Remember once I emptied half the dance floor (including a group of decent-looking lassies) in Stereo with a particularly bad one. It really was vile. Played along with everyone else, though, by looking around with a disgusted 'who the **** was that?' expression on my face. It was only until the taxi home I admitted to everyone it was me. Thats a regular occurence for me. Fart in a crowded place and go with the flow. I've emptied bars on many occasions. My guts are certainly not my strong point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scuj1 Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Dunno what it is but I always had a lot of wind and I'm only a wee guy. Never a wee fart, always monsterous ones, which take some effort. With a sigh of relief at the end Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westbow Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Sneezed and farted at the same time today, stung my nipsy it did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Currahee! Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Always mind being at the Gorgie road end say about 1974.An older guy dropped a *****r in front of me and the guy next to me said to bloke. When was the last time you had your head ventilated. Honestly the guy was going to hit him. Could be called fart rage. Doug. Fart rage! ha ha ha. That's a beauty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seats Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 Sneezed and farted at the same time today, stung my nipsy it did. Worst bit about that is you are never sure how loud the fart was and whether anyone else heard/noticed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eggo Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 I once let a rip snorting loud one off in the train but I had my headphones on and didnt get the same volume of noise like all the others that stared at me did:smiley2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PsychocAndy Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 I may be in a minority here, but has any KB'er ever had the temptation to phone a mate on the mobile while having a dump and letting them listen to the splashing and farting noises? Just curious. On the phone to my brother, telling him how I don't like this years Hearts tops and timed it to perfection when telling him about the navvvvvy blue sleeves. Also I dont fart I have a dog who does that for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gillie chris Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 I once farted in a dwarfs face when standing at a bar is that bad? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rond Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 Sneezed and farted at the same time today, stung my nipsy it did. Would that be a snart then??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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