speedbump Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 All schemie/chav lowlifes speak loudly with a nasal accent. Please feel free to add! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 All schemie/chav lowlifes speak loudly with a nasal accent. Please feel free to add! Hahaha! Brilliant. When placing a bet on Hearts the opposite to what you back will happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PsychocAndy Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 If your Mrs starts of by saying " Now I know this isn't your fault" she'll still make it sound like it's your fault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig Gordons Gloves Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 All schemie/chav lowlifes speak loudly with a nasal accent. Please feel free to add! and have a wardrobe consisting of various tracksuits and baseball caps. In addition, they all buy Gucci and Burberry stuff for their kids.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 If your Mrs starts of by saying " Now I know this isn't your fault" she'll still make it sound like it's your fault. My wife's NEVER said that to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dale8809 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 and have a wardrobe consisting of various tracksuits and baseball caps. In addition, they all buy Gucci and Burberry stuff for their kids.... You forgot to add fake in there. And all neds are future junkies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.J Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 You forgot to add fake in there. And all neds are future junkies Now now, be fair. Some of them will become alcoholics as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dale8809 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Now now, be fair. Some of them will become alcoholics as well. Sorry I did forget about that.I wonder what the unemployment rate is in neds ie. how many of them will EVER work even 1week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 dropped toast will always land buttered side down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart Lyon Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 when your wife asks you to do something and afterwards finds fault with your efforts. I just say to her well if you want it done properly do it you flipping self! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrishall Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 dropped toast will always land buttered side down That's a law of science. Coz the side that the butter is on is heavier the toast turns to the heavier side down as it falls. FACT. At least I think it is.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dale8809 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Women all take coke in the toilets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rule 34 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 That's a law of science. Coz the side that the butter is on is heavier the toast turns to the heavier side down as it falls. FACT. At least I think it is.... surely one side being heavier causes it to spin. then you'd have a 50/50 chance of which side it lands on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Victorian Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 if you're looking for something in the house, you always find it in the last place you look. unless of course you're ever so slightly off your head and carry on looking for it after you find it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Radioactive Mince Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Never look at another man's tadger at the urinals. Mince Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.J Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Never look at another man's tadger at the urinals. Mince http://www.funnygames.co.nz/play/the-urinal-game Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romulus Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Women all take coke in the toilets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nucky Thompson Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Unwritten law #1. Never rod your best friends bird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedbump Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 Unwritten law #1. Never rod your best friends bird. Or ex within a certain time scale. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stupid Sexy Flanders Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Unwritten law #1. Never rod your best friends bird. Or sister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romulus Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Or sister. thats allowed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stupid Sexy Flanders Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 thats allowed I'd be annoyed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedbump Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 I'd be annoyed! Any pictures of your sister........................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stupid Sexy Flanders Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Any pictures of your sister........................... Funnily enough, no I haven't! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nucky Thompson Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Or sister.Don't even look at the sister in the wrong way:10900: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
therealmackay Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 surely one side being heavier causes it to spin. then you'd have a 50/50 chance of which side it lands on actually its to do with the height of the table and the time the toast has to spin before reaching the ground it has enough time for exactly 1 half spin therefore lands butter side down however if dropped from an 8 foot high table it would always land butter side up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottish_chicP Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Women all take coke in the toilets Maybe all the women you know... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nucky Thompson Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Maybe all the women you know...I've replied to a few of your posts and tonight is the first time I've realised you're a woman:10900: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottish_chicP Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I've replied to a few of your posts and tonight is the first time I've realised you're a woman:10900: Ha yeah it gets a lot of people. That's why I have I'm a girl written at the bottom of my sig! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boomstick Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 The b@starding guinea pig will always wait until I'm holding it before it takes a p!ss... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Gasman Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 A fool and his money are soon pished ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedbump Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 Funnily enough, no I haven't! Wanna buy some? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 when your wife asks you to do something and afterwards finds fault with your efforts. I just say to her well if you want it done properly do it you flipping self! Is there ever an instance where the wife doesn't find fault with something you've done?? actually its to do with the height of the table and the time the toast has to spin before reaching the ground it has enough time for exactly 1 half spin therefore lands butter side down however if dropped from an 8 foot high table it would always land butter side up Who said it was dropped from a table? It's just a FACT. It shouldn't need explaining. The only way to counter it, is to leave butter on the floor. Hah! Take that, forces of nature!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boomstick Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Wanna buy some? ROFLCOPTER Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dale8809 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I've replied to a few of your posts and tonight is the first time I've realised you're a woman:10900: I aint a woman I am lady gaga:stuart: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stupid Sexy Flanders Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Wanna buy some? Thank God you finally said that, I waited nearly three hours for that punchline! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dale8809 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Thank God you finally said that, I waited nearly three hours for that punchline! Was it worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stupid Sexy Flanders Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Was it worth it. Eh.... no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dale8809 Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 nother unwritten law is that neds all want stafies and then hand them into a dog home after a few weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig Gordons Gloves Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 another unwritten rule is that if you are doing connecting flights and your initial flight is delayed, your connection will ALWAYS be on time, however, if your initial flight is on time, your connection will ALWAYS be delayed. FACT Oh, and airport staff are trained to have a complete hatred of customers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Merse Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 No matter how busy or empty a bus is the crazy drunk bar steward will always sit next to YOU. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neave Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 When 50 yards from the bus stop, your bus arrives. You think "never going to catch that" and just walk. Then you get closer, but still doubt you'll catch it. And closer. And the bus is still there! You then start to think you might catch it if you run. You then start running. 100% guaranteed the bus will drive away as soon as you get to its back bumper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottish_chicP Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 When 50 yards from the bus stop, your bus arrives. You think "never going to catch that" and just walk. Then you get closer, but still doubt you'll catch it. And closer. And the bus is still there! You then start to think you might catch it if you run. You then start running. 100% guaranteed the bus will drive away as soon as you get to its back bumper. That happened to me yesterday! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neave Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 That happened to me yesterday! Same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Merse Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 When 50 yards from the bus stop, your bus arrives. You think "never going to catch that" and just walk. Then you get closer, but still doubt you'll catch it. And closer. And the bus is still there! You then start to think you might catch it if you run. You then start running. 100% guaranteed the bus will drive away as soon as you get to its back bumper. Too right. You don't want to feel like a **** running for a bus and not catching it so you just walk and then it doesn't go and you think **** I can actually get that if I run now, so you run and it still leaves making you look like more of a stupid bar steward for not running in the first place! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambovambo Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Fart in the office lift and the bird you've fancied for ages will get in the lift at the next floor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seats Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 No matter how busy or empty a bus is the crazy drunk bar steward will always sit next to YOU. unless the crazy drunk bar steward on the bus is normally you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.