iceking Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 While holidaying at Balmoral, the Queen took a couple of days off to drive down the North-East coast. When she got to the dunes at Balmedie she decided she fancied a bit of off-roading. Her Range Rover was bounding along the golden sands of Balmedie beach when there was and enormous commotion. She rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene the Queen noticed just beyond the surf, a hapless man wearing a Rangers jersey, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 20 foot shark! At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing Aberdeen tops sped into view. One of the men took aim at the shark and fired a harpoon into its ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled the Rangers fan from the water before beating the shark to death using long clubs. They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious man into the speedboat along with the dead shark and prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic calling from the shore...... It was the Queen calling them to the beach. On reaching land, the Queen went into raptures about the rescue and said, "I'll give you a knighthood for your brave actions. I heard that the people of Aberdeenshire were intolerant of those from the central belt but now I see this is a truly enlightened example of tribal harmony which could serve as a model for other nations." She knighted them and drove off. As she departed the harpoonist asked the others, "Fa wis 'at?!" "That," one answered, " wis the Queen. She rules Britain and kens a'thing aboot oor country." "Well," the harpoonist replied, "she kens ****** all aboot shark fishing. How's the bait hauding up? Or do we need anither een?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamboruss Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 olden but golden y'ken! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Lithuania Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Quality! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livi Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Aberdeen Supporter and a Hubs supporter were walking down a country lane just ootside Aberdeen when they came across a Sheep with it's head stuck in a hedge. The Aberdeen supporter couldn't believe his luck so he dropped his troosers and gave the sheep a quickie. The Aberdeen supporter turned to the Hubs supporter and said "do you want a shot" "Oh no I couldn't" the Hubs supporter said "Go on you know you want to" the Aberdeen supporter said. "Oh all right" said the Hubs supporter taking of his troosers and pants and sticking his head in the hedge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Only a Game Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 3 guys walk into a pub........A Celtic fan, a priest and a paedophile.............and that was just the first guy !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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