Professor.Arturo Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 An email I thought I'd share with you all How do you turn a fox into an elephant? > Marry It! > > > What is the difference between a battery and a woman? > A battery has a positive side. > > > What are the three fastest means of communication? > > 1) Internet > > 2) Telephone > > 3) Telawoman > > > How are fat girls and mopeds alike? > They're both fun to ride until your friends find out. > > > How do you p*ss off a female archaeologist?? > Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it comes from. > > > How is a woman like a condom? > Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick. > > > What should you give a woman who has everything? > A man to show her how to work it. > > > Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? > Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there. > > > How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? > Put a nipple on it. > > > Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? > Because they don't have balls to scratch. > > > Why did God create woman ? > To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet. > > > Why do women fake orgasms ? > Because they think men care. > > > > What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? > Nothing, she's been told twice already. > > > > If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you > done wrong? > Made her chain too long > > > How many men does it take to open a beer? > None. It should be opened when she brings it. > > > > Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? > Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine willprobably > never be able to support you. > > > > Why do women have smaller feet than men? > It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to standcloser > to the kitchen sink. > > > How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? > When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....' > > > How do you fix a woman's watch? > You don't. There is a clock on the oven. > > > Why do men pass gas more than women? > Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the requiredpressure. > > > If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the > front door, who do you let in first? > The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. > > > What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? > A woman who won't do what she's told > > > I married a Miss Right. > I just didn't know her first name was Always.. > > > Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by > 90%. > It's called a Wedding Cake. > > > Why do men die before their wives? > They want to. > > Women will never be equal to men... > until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and > still think they are sexy. > > > In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. > Then God created Man and rested. > Then God created Woman. > Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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