chester copperpot Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 Never spoke to me for 3 weeks. Never got Nat King for over a month. It was me who was ready to pack her bags. Why are they so selfish? Is that no called a golden shower. Jeez, I thought women like Gold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.J Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 Also on Real Maroon's glamour-tie against Brentford last season, on the coach on the way down myself and a couple of other certain posters needed a wazz after a few hours of lager/strongbow/buckfact drinking. The driver wouldnt stop so we had to pish into an empty lucozade bottle at 70mph and pour it out the window, then repeat until finished. Happy days. Big Scott knew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winston churchill Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 back of the famous five stand, on the way home after every home game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 On my girlfriend of 8 years. I prefer them older than that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PsychocAndy Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 After the 1998 cup Final got home guttered the good lady went to make me some tea and a sandwich, came through to the livingroom in time to stop me slashing on the back of the telly but the time I wasn't stopped was in my mum's house. 2nd on the left was the bog and 2nd right was the cupboard. All over the shoes and floor. The worst thing was I was still living there at the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 I prefer them older than that I hope you don't think this an unsult but I found that terribly funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobblers Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 I prefer them older than that Aye much, much, much, much older. I've seen Linda;) FFS don't tell her I said that:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 I hope you don't think this an insult but I found that terribly funny Absolutely no insult my friend, I'm just glad we can enjoy some good light hearted humour on these boards now and then without having to be a cautious ****** all the time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 Aye much, much, much, much older. I've seen Linda;) FFS don't tell her I said that:) Too late, oops! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambo 71 Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 I hope you don't think this an unsult but I found that terribly funny You will find I am highly insulted!!!! I used to like your posts, I may have to change my mind:p P.s - Dave I can see you and I falling out:rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 Aye much, much, much, much older. I've seen Linda;) FFS don't tell her I said that:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tammyb1985 Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 In a phone box then phoned the operator to tell her. Went to see Mark Watsons' preview show the other night, couldnt find the toilet, ended up in some props area with loads of pallets etc. Couldn't wait any longer..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobblers Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 You will find I am highly insulted!!!!I used to like your posts, I may have to change my mind:p P.s - Dave I can see you and I falling out:rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 You will find I am highly insulted!!!!I used to like your posts, I may have to change my mind:p P.s - Dave I can see you and I falling out:rolleyes: Och, now youse're picking on my accent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagger Is Back Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 I've got a bit of a record! 1) On St Giles Cathedral - almost got done by the Polis for that 2) On wasteground outside Fir Park in the 70's - did get done by the Polis for that. Tried to blame it on the fact that it ws mid winter and the Manor bus was an hour late in leaving the club so had had 3 extra pints! 3) In an empty beer can on the way to Arbroath for the promotion clinching game on an SMT bus My wee brother did once **** on the boy standing in front of him at a Kiss gig at the Playhouse - weird family ours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 Pi$$ed on a sleeping swan in Holyrood park. A certain member who hasn't yet posted on this thread so can't be named, got up and pi$$ed on my flatmates freshly cleaned and ironed for work clothes one night. He then proceeded to walk through to my room, put ON my clothes, and get into my bed (which was empty before anyone asks.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 Pi$$ed on a sleeping swan in Holyrood park. Them fokkers are evil and quick. My advice to all young drunkards going out in life is to stick to large, docile quadrupeds which don't have multi-jointed necks and sharp, nasty beaks. Or trunks, come to think of it. Horses or cows would just about fit the bill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamjamjam Posted August 4, 2008 Author Share Posted August 4, 2008 swans are fierce as ****! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor FinnBarr Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 I've got a bit of a record! 1) On St Giles Cathedral - almost got done by the Polis for that 2) On wasteground outside Fir Park in the 70's - did get done by the Polis for that. Tried to blame it on the fact that it ws mid winter and the Manor bus was an hour late in leaving the club so had had 3 extra pints! 3) In an empty beer can on the way to Arbroath for the promotion clinching game on an SMT bus My wee brother did once **** on the boy standing in front of him at a Kiss gig at the Playhouse - weird family ours. Would that be the infamous Excursion buses? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Mitch Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 Through a total bawbag of a neighbours letterbox. classy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy.C Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 Not so outlandish, but out of the bedroom window (2nd floor...so in my state I could quite easily have gone out the window!)...also spewed my guts out that window too. Also in the kitchen bin...i think. Still a hazy memory to this day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the voice from above Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 wrecked wandering the streets of spain my mates and I went into what looked like a deserted park for a quick slash. three of the four of us had finished up and were regrouping when we hear all hell breaking lose. turns out the park wasn't deserted but was in fact home to some unfortunate tramps, and my mate had just pished all over one of their groups whole life collection of polly bags, rotting food, dish towels(?) and maky clothes. we were lucky to get out of that park alive... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bomber Harris Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Was seeing a girl from Chester a few years ago and her mate came along for a few drinks, learned that her husband was a complete **** to her and even assaulted her on several occasions, anyway as we were heading back to the friends flat to drop her off i was bursting on a wee' so i asked if i could use her toilet, to my amazement she said she would need to ask her hubby as he might get jealous of my presence despite my Suzanne being there, anyway he gave me the all clear but as i entered the toilet he was in the process of running a bath......... 6 pints of Stella earlier......... do i have to go on ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K1874M Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Against a wall in a hotel. Against a police van outside hampden...the latter almost got me in to bother but their wasnt any where else to go and no one could see me... got told I wasnt getting in so walked round the ground and explained to a steward what had happened and he let me in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedbump Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Some poor couples hotel room, they were lying in bed and I somehow managed to get into the wrong room. They didn't suspect a thing until I climed into bed with them. I obviously didn't know they were there until the bloke jumped up looking none too pleased. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Them fokkers are evil and quick. My advice to all young drunkards going out in life is to stick to large, docile quadrupeds which don't have multi-jointed necks and sharp, nasty beaks. Or trunks, come to think of it. Horses or cows would just about fit the bill. You would like to pish on my ex wife? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deesidejambo Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 I cant remember pi55ing anywhere stupid but I did have a turd on the bowling green on The Meadows once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedbump Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 I cant remember pi55ing anywhere stupid but I did have a turd on the bowling green on The Meadows once. I got pulled off there once.....................My forehand was shocking:fing25: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I P Knightley Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 You would like to pish on my ex wife? Sheesh! I'll do anything for a giggle and a couple of pints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Sheesh! I'll do anything for a giggle and a couple of pints. Just a couple Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl Weathers Posted August 7, 2008 Share Posted August 7, 2008 Not a peeing in a funny place story, but funny nonetheless. I once woke up with loads of brown stuff on my covers on my bed when I was 19. Seriously thought I'd **** myself, until I realised I'd fell asleep with a big bags of chips smothered in brown sauce a few hours previously. I'd rolled in the bag of chips and they were all over my bed, and I mean all over my bed. And also up my arse crack, in my pubes the lot. Wasn't the best thing to tell my mum the next day. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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