Greedy Jambo Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 I'd start by banning Greggs and Bains and build cycle lanes all over the country. Don't get me wrong, i'd make sure the roads were flat for our cars as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thunder and Lightning Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 Invade England. I think we could take them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fitzroy Pointon Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 2 minutes ago, Greedy Jambo said: I'd start by banning Greggs and Bains and build cycle lanes all over the country. Don't get me wrong, i'd make sure the roads were flat for our cars as well. Baines iced doughnuts are immense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Findlay Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 4 minutes ago, Greedy Jambo said: I'd start by banning Greggs and Bains and build cycle lanes all over the country. Don't get me wrong, i'd make sure the roads were flat for our cars as well. Good luck to you in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy Jambo Posted February 20 Author Share Posted February 20 Just now, Салатные палочки said: Baines iced doughnuts are immense. Ken, but ***** are living off them. You can't get a decent spicy chicken salad baguette for love nor money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy Jambo Posted February 20 Author Share Posted February 20 i'd open huners of chicken salad baguette houses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy Jambo Posted February 20 Author Share Posted February 20 6 minutes ago, Thunder and Lightning said: Invade England. I think we could take them. I'd just built a wall to be fair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thunder and Lightning Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 Just now, Greedy Jambo said: I'd just built a wall to be fair. And make them pay for it? 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hansel Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 Open a decent pool hall in West lothian. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy Jambo Posted February 20 Author Share Posted February 20 1 minute ago, Hansel said: Open a decent pool hall in West lothian. Vote for me, and it's done. More bmx tracks, more RC car tracks, Go karting, the lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy Jambo Posted February 20 Author Share Posted February 20 10 pin bowling in every village. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambof3tornado Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 27 minutes ago, Greedy Jambo said: I'd start by banning Greggs and Bains and build cycle lanes all over the country. Don't get me wrong, i'd make sure the roads were flat for our cars as well. I'd ban bicycles from the roads when cycle lanes are available!!! I'd also charge the ****s road tax. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pap Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 Fire Mons Meg at Easter Road. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy Jambo Posted February 20 Author Share Posted February 20 2 minutes ago, Jambof3tornado said: I'd ban bicycles from the roads when cycle lanes are available!!! I'd also charge the ****s road tax. Why? Loads of people would cycle more if they had their own lane to do it on, It would help with the cost of living, it would help with health, it would lower the number of people going to the NHS with problems, most people are scared to get on a bike, because the majority of car drivers are arse holes. I'm a bit of petrol head myself, but i'm not an idiot, i can see both sides. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambof3tornado Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 4 minutes ago, Greedy Jambo said: Why? Loads of people would cycle more if they had their own lane to do it on, It would help with the cost of living, it would help with health, it would lower the number of people going to the NHS with problems, most people are scared to get on a bike, because the majority of car drivers are arse holes. I'm a bit of petrol head myself, but i'm not an idiot, i can see both sides. I stay near stirling. Loads of cycle paths linking the Hillfoots villages yet cyclists want to hog the roads especially in groups of 10 plus riders(individuals I dont mind!!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy Jambo Posted February 20 Author Share Posted February 20 1 minute ago, Jambof3tornado said: I stay near stirling. Loads of cycle paths linking the Hillfoots villages yet cyclists want to hog the roads especially in groups of 10 plus riders(individuals I dont mind!!). 😂 Thats obviously a bike club or something, you can surely make an exception for them, unless you want the Tour de France to have no Scottish riders, because you got angry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 16 minutes ago, Jambof3tornado said: I'd ban bicycles from the roads when cycle lanes are available!!! I'd also charge the ****s road tax. Do you pay Road tax? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudi must stay Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 Free ice creams for kids Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William H. Bonney Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 Play shankland against Germany. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whodanny Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 54 minutes ago, Greedy Jambo said: i'd open huners of chicken salad baguette houses. Can we put jalapenos on them ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy Jambo Posted February 20 Author Share Posted February 20 7 minutes ago, whodanny said: Can we put jalapenos on them ? That goes without saying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leginten Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 Euthanise litterers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henrysmithsgloves Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 Float it near the canary islands to dry it out😳 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greedy Jambo Posted February 20 Author Share Posted February 20 (edited) 11 minutes ago, leginten said: Euthanise litterers. I agree, but the council is making it even harder for them/us now, you have to book a slot to chuck your rubbish out. Cost cutting wank stain basturts. There will still be 5 of them standing there twiddling there fingers when you go in. Edited February 20 by Greedy Jambo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FWJ Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 Compulsory lights & hi-viz vests for cyclists Tax sweeties Move BBC Scotland to Stirling (or Perth or Dunfermline or Falkirk or anywhere other than Glasgow) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ministryofdad Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 Hand the parliament back to Westminster. It's been an abject failure. Nothing good has came from it. We pay higher tax to give every one free prescriptions, bus passes and other nonsense. I'd dual the a9 Dual the a1 Finish the sheriffhall underpass Make ineos at Grangemouth into a hydrogen fuel dept. Mandtory national service for everyone under 35 (minium of 2 years if not in full time employment or education) Mandtory farming of all usable land for growing food for us to be sustainable. Al school kids in summer and winter months to harvest fields when off school. Education on growing and eating healthy Declare war on fast food. Introduce a stealth tax on all chippys, chineeeses, pizza, burger joints and use it to promote healthy eating. Declare all drugs legal and tax them to generate a national health service fit for purpose. Ban the sale of alochol to anyone under the age of 25. Get rid of minium pricing Get rid of the tax in smoking Get rid of petrol and diesel and move towards hydrogen powered cars. Make all gyms free to use. Make shop open at 7am close at 2pm repoen at 5pm-9pm In those 3 hours you have to excersize. More you do more you get paid a universal basic income each month. If you keep your bmi at optium weight you get paid for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArcticJambo Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 quitegood Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martoon Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 I'd give the rest of Scotland's it's freedom and create a new nation called "Heart of Midlothian": City of Edinburgh, East Lothian and Midlothian. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redjambo Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 26 minutes ago, martoon said: I'd give the rest of Scotland's it's freedom and create a new nation called "Heart of Midlothian": City of Edinburgh, East Lothian and Midlothian. And West Lothian gets renamed East Lanarkshire? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martoon Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 (edited) 1 hour ago, redjambo said: And West Lothian gets renamed East Lanarkshire? You are first in line for vice president, red. 😄 Edited February 21 by martoon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howdy Doody Jambo Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 Employ more police with a visible presence on the streets get the drones flying around Ban smoking, vaping, drinking alcohol on the streets Get tough on crime, tougher punishments , sort out Scotland's major drug related problems Fine litter dropping on the streets, fine council's that waste money on plant pots to block roads Drill more oil , Stop building any more student flats that's a racket, build council flats instead Bring back some sort of manufacturing and steel industry Fix the pavements and roads with quality long lasting materials Brighten up the streets with proper lightning , open up streets so traffic can circulate freely Make Greggs and Bains bigger and half price for all on a Friday, free cakes for all on a Monday Bring in a wage cap for politicians and councillors say £25k per annum and take away expense claims,see how they get on in the real world Turn the Holyrood parliament into flats for the homeless half of the building is empty anyway Tax the super rich with multiple assets and homes /flats who needs more than one house in the same city? Scrap Airbnb they don't contribute to neighbourhoods or community Registration plates for all cyclists, electric motorised bikes and Escooters Fine cyclists that don't use cycle lanes nor light up after dark and bring in a cycling proficiency licence Scrap the NHS and Reform the health service , build health centres ,build educational infrastructure in local communities and new build site's,bring back a charge for prescriptions , fine people who don't cancel health centre, dental etc appointments Scrap all free bus passes, everyone can pay a £1 Scrap working from home just encourages a lazy unsociable society , get up get out get active! No half day on a Friday for schools , encourage after school clubs and kids must do a sport activity on a Saturday morning all weathers even if it is wet and windy and has a fancy name like hurricane Wilma Open up all sporting facilities for kid's during weekends and school holidays for free that are within school grounds all these astro pitches going to waste Give people more of a say through voting on city management, transport issues and building projects Free entry for school kids to all sporting stadiums and events, music concerts, place's of interest etc Build a 75,000 capacity national joint football/ rugby/concert stadium with a retractable roof, heated seats,safe standing end in a central location that is beneficial to all That should do the noo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martoon Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 55 minutes ago, Howdy Doody Jambo said: Employ more police with a visible presence on the streets get the drones flying around Ban smoking, vaping, drinking alcohol on the streets Get tough on crime, tougher punishments , sort out Scotland's major drug related problems Fine litter dropping on the streets, fine council's that waste money on plant pots to block roads Drill more oil , Stop building any more student flats that's a racket, build council flats instead Bring back some sort of manufacturing and steel industry Fix the pavements and roads with quality long lasting materials Brighten up the streets with proper lightning , open up streets so traffic can circulate freely Make Greggs and Bains bigger and half price for all on a Friday, free cakes for all on a Monday Bring in a wage cap for politicians and councillors say £25k per annum and take away expense claims,see how they get on in the real world Turn the Holyrood parliament into flats for the homeless half of the building is empty anyway Tax the super rich with multiple assets and homes /flats who needs more than one house in the same city? Scrap Airbnb they don't contribute to neighbourhoods or community Registration plates for all cyclists, electric motorised bikes and Escooters Fine cyclists that don't use cycle lanes nor light up after dark and bring in a cycling proficiency licence Scrap the NHS and Reform the health service , build health centres ,build educational infrastructure in local communities and new build site's,bring back a charge for prescriptions , fine people who don't cancel health centre, dental etc appointments Scrap all free bus passes, everyone can pay a £1 Scrap working from home just encourages a lazy unsociable society , get up get out get active! No half day on a Friday for schools , encourage after school clubs and kids must do a sport activity on a Saturday morning all weathers even if it is wet and windy and has a fancy name like hurricane Wilma Open up all sporting facilities for kid's during weekends and school holidays for free that are within school grounds all these astro pitches going to waste Give people more of a say through voting on city management, transport issues and building projects Free entry for school kids to all sporting stadiums and events, music concerts, place's of interest etc Build a 75,000 capacity national joint football/ rugby/concert stadium with a retractable roof, heated seats,safe standing end in a central location that is beneficial to all That should do the noo Very thorough, HDJ. 😊 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuel Camazzola Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 Introduce an annual 'Purge' day with the subject being adult cyclists. Their helmet cams would capture some good footage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bull's-eye Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 Remove all the people and buildings and turn it into a countrywide nature reserve and park, maybe let a few Picts wander around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pap Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 Ban the wee flashing lights that some cyclists have on their bikes. Pretty sure they are banned in some other countries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey J J Jr Shabadoo Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 (edited) 10 hours ago, Greedy Jambo said: I'd start by banning Greggs and Bains and build cycle lanes all over the country. Don't get me wrong, i'd make sure the roads were flat for our cars as well. I am glad you won't ban Bayne's, their macaroni pies are immense. As are their vanilla slices. I'd also increase the price the English and Welsh pay for our oil, thus making our energy bills virtually zero. The way 85 should be now. Edited February 21 by Joey J J Jr Shabadoo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negan Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 Make it mandatory for all school pupils to attend gym sessions and make physical education/fitness and diet a more important part of learning. Provide more affordable housing and sort out the shambles of homelessness. Make it a blanket 25 year jail sentence for taking class A drugs. Ban the stupid alcohol laws such as 10-10 and bring back the right to do deals in pubs (happy hours etc) Have the same immigration laws as Australia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whodanny Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 9 hours ago, Greedy Jambo said: That goes without saying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FWJ Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 Along with compulsory PE in schools, compulsory cooking lessons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bindy Badgy Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 Execute gym users that don't rerack their weights. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tian447 Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 Exile Celtic and Rangers. Better yet, just redraw the border around Glasgow, and make it part of the Isle of Man or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuel Camazzola Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 14 minutes ago, tian447 said: Exile Celtic and Rangers. Better yet, just redraw the border around Glasgow, and make it part of the Isle of Man or something. The Mhanks from the Manx. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negan Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 1 hour ago, Bindy Badgy said: Execute gym users that don't rerack their weights. This. Also people who take videos in the gym Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tian447 Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 33 minutes ago, Jim_Duncan said: FTFY They'd take one look at it and assume it had already been airstriked and move on to the next bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bindy Badgy Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 1 hour ago, Negan said: This. Also people who take videos in the gym I'm OK with discretely filming a set for a form check. People filming videos for Instagram and YouTube can **** off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negan Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 8 minutes ago, Bindy Badgy said: I'm OK with discretely filming a set for a form check. People filming videos for Instagram and YouTube can **** off. It winds me up silly. Im probably not helping myself by attending pure gym. Its a complete mix of people. I was looking to find a new gym as iv completed the dumbells for chest up to 50kg now . Light work 💪 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bozi Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 Insane idea but how about instead of a 'fat tax' to go into treating obesity on the NHS.. We use a tax on unhealthy products to subsidise cheaper fruit, vegetables, pulses, wholemeal goods etc and try to make it much cheaper to eat healthily. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joondalupjambo Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 (edited) I would introduce mandatory reading and spelling exams for all. I would then introduce a Battalion of spelling Police to review all social media content created in Scotland. Christ hope all the spelling is right in those sentences. Bains? It is Baynes 🙂 Edited February 21 by joondalupjambo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bozi Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 5 hours ago, Samuel Camazzola said: Introduce an annual 'Purge' day with the subject being adult cyclists. Their helmet cams would capture some good footage. As an adult cyclist and driver I take umbrage with this. There are some absolute bellends on bikes but the percentage of car users who are arrogant, ignorant, dangerous and almost definitely practice self love far outweigh that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joondalupjambo Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 6 minutes ago, Bozi said: As an adult cyclist and driver I take umbrage with this. There are some absolute bellends on bikes but the percentage of car users who are arrogant, ignorant, dangerous and almost definitely practice self love far outweigh that It is interesting. In Denmark drivers all give way to pedestrians and cyclists without hesitation. Imagine trying to introduce that type of mind set change here in Scotland. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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