The Eurovision Song Contest

[Harry Potter]

53 minutes ago, A Boy Named Crow said:

It must be making money for someone 

casualty cancelled due to that tripe, sandy shaw was the best ever😄

[Fxxx the SPFL]

29 minutes ago, Harry Potter said:

casualty cancelled due to that tripe, sandy shaw was the best ever😄

bare foot as well was oor sandy

[manaliveits105]

Can we just send Toyah next year ?

[XB52]

1 hour ago, Harry Potter said:

casualty cancelled due to that tripe, sandy shaw was the best ever😄

Read the last few pages absolutely astonished that so many on jkb actually watched this???? Then I read your post and my faith in the human race was restored. Sandy Shaw started many a foot fetish 

[Harry Potter]

21 minutes ago, XB52 said:

Read the last few pages absolutely astonished that so many on jkb actually watched this???? Then I read your post and my faith in the human race was restored. Sandy Shaw started many a foot fetish 

I thought your reply might have been giving me a row for slagging off the show lol,

TBH watched it with my mum and dad when i was wee, but now no time for it, the 

scoring is a joke and a farce.

[XB52]

11 minutes ago, Harry Potter said:

I thought your reply might have been giving me a row for slagging off the show lol,

TBH watched it with my mum and dad when i was wee, but now no time for it, the 

scoring is a joke and a farce.

Same here, loved it as a kid but it's just been a joke show for years. 

[Seymour M Hersh]

I really don't know why we bother wasting money on this shite anymore. We could be represented by the reincarnation of The Beatles and they'd still give us **** all points. 

Edited May 23, 2021 by Seymour M Hersh

[glynnlondon]

1 hour ago, Seymour M Hersh said:

I really don't know why we bother wasting money on this shite anymore. We could be represented by the reincarnation of The Beatles and they'd still give us **** all points. 

Should send them a tub of lard like hignfy did as a stand in for John Prescott.

[FWJ]

When we took it seriously and tried we did well.  We’ve won it 5 times and come second [a record] 15 times.

 

[GBJambo]

Waste of time this. Never about “music” it’s all political. 

[SectionDJambo]

2 hours ago, Seymour M Hersh said:

I really don't know why we bother wasting money on this shite anymore. We could be represented by the reincarnation of The Beatles and they'd still give us **** all points. 

This contest has always had a political slant to it. Greece, Turkey and Cyprus being the most obvious one over the years. 

When Thatcher was PM, the UK wasn't the most popular country in Europe. Coincidentally, the UK had a run of years where their points tally was embarrassing. Thatcher gets emptied and Blair comes in with a drive of making friends in Europe and the UK wins Eurovision. Now we have a government that has pissed off most of Europe again, and the UK gets zero points. Coincidence? Probably not. 

 

[Seymour M Hersh]

2 minutes ago, SectionDJambo said:

This contest has always had a political slant to it. Greece, Turkey and Cyprus being the most obvious one over the years. 

When Thatcher was PM, the UK wasn't the most popular country in Europe. Coincidentally, the UK had a run of years where their points tally was embarrassing. Thatcher gets emptied and Blair comes in with a drive of making friends in Europe and the UK wins Eurovision. Now we have a government that has pissed off most of Europe again, and the UK gets zero points. Coincidence? Probably not. 

 

 

Blair must have moved very quickly then as the competition (Katrina and the Waves won and the last time we did) was 2 days after the GE. In short absolute nonsense. 

[Cade]

Greece and Cyprus gave each other 12 points from the Jury and 12 points from the public.

 

Other than that, voting was all over the place.

Since they introduced the public votes a few years back, it's been much harder to predict a winner and most of the (mostly mythical) political voting disappeared. Terry Wogan being a grumpy auld shite was to blame for most of the conspiracy theories about Eurovision.

 

There is a big disconnect from what the expert juries think is good and what the public like.

For instance, the first year the public vote was a thing, UK Jury gave Poland 0 points but the UK public gave Poland 12.

That was the year of the almost topless milkmaids.

 

This year the various Juries gave Malta 208 in total.

The public gave them 47.

 

Juries gave Finland 83.

The public gave them 218.

[FWJ]

If we took it seriously (and Holden’s ‘funny little foreign lingos’ performance typifies that) then other countries might take us seriously too.

 

Our song last night was ok - I can still hum it in my head, it was was better than nul points but the performance was poor.

[Captain Slog]

This thread is a little Kickback in miniature.  As soon as the big boys went to bed, all the dissenters came out, despite not squeaking once when everyone else was on.  Its like the closet muppets on the Terrace.  Or the Republicans on the Biden Trump thread that never air their views when reasonable people are about.

 

Yes the Eurovision is all that people say.  But its all a bit of fun.  Chill out  and let others enjoy what they can in these trying times.

[sadj]

2 hours ago, Cade said:

Greece and Cyprus gave each other 12 points from the Jury and 12 points from the public.

 

Other than that, voting was all over the place.

Since they introduced the public votes a few years back, it's been much harder to predict a winner and most of the (mostly mythical) political voting disappeared. Terry Wogan being a grumpy auld shite was to blame for most of the conspiracy theories about Eurovision.

 

There is a big disconnect from what the expert juries think is good and what the public like.

For instance, the first year the public vote was a thing, UK Jury gave Poland 0 points but the UK public gave Poland 12.

That was the year of the almost topless milkmaids.

 

This year the various Juries gave Malta 208 in total.

The public gave them 47.

 

Juries gave Finland 83.

The public gave them 218.

Almost topless milkmaids? Say what?

[Captain Slog]

Donatan & Cleo -- My Słowianie (Poland 2014) Eurovision Song Contest - Bing video

[Tommy Brown]

7 hours ago, manaliveits105 said:

Can we just send Toyah next year ?

Can we just send Toyah away anywhere.

Dont care where, just away from here.

[Jambo-Jimbo]

2 hours ago, FWJ said:

If we took it seriously (and Holden’s ‘funny little foreign lingos’ performance typifies that) then other countries might take us seriously too.

 

Our song last night was ok - I can still hum it in my head, it was was better than nul points but the performance was poor.

 

That was tried and it failed.

We had a team of professional song-writers who'd wrote many hits for top artists, even had Lloyd-Webber writing songs and they all failed to make any impact.

 

Last night's song imo was poor, the performance even poorer.

 

My two bits worth, is that we need to change the selection process, we need to stop picking songs which the British public like or vote for and start thinking what the continental Europeans will like and will vote for, especially now that the public votes are making such a difference.

Notwithstanding that any votes we get will come from continental Europe, so we have to cater to that market.

 

A reverse example, how many times have you been on holiday and there's a song being played constantly from the pool or beach bar, and your thinking this is crap, only to find out that it's a massive hit all over continental Europe, number 1 in 12 countries etc etc, but you think it's rubbish.

I think this is part of our problem, in that what we might like the continental Europeans are thinking is crap.

 

[SectionDJambo]

2 hours ago, Seymour M Hersh said:

 

Blair must have moved very quickly then as the competition (Katrina and the Waves won and the last time we did) was 2 days after the GE. In short absolute nonsense. 

I'm terribly sorry for my memory fading. I hope I didnt upset the warm glow we all have today. Maybe my recollection should have been from the removal of Thatcher from being PM. 

However, it is still my opinion, that the UK has become very unpopular with most of Europe, due to the Rule Britannia boys that have running the country today, not least the current buffoon of a PM. 

[Seymour M Hersh]

14 minutes ago, SectionDJambo said:

I'm terribly sorry for my memory fading. I hope I didnt upset the warm glow we all have today. Maybe my recollection should have been from the removal of Thatcher from being PM. 

However, it is still my opinion, that the UK has become very unpopular with most of Europe, due to the Rule Britannia boys that have running the country today, not least the current buffoon of a PM. 

 

It's just a bit embarrassing you're trying to blame a lack of success in the Eurovisions on the Tory party and Brexit. If Blair was so loved by Europe why didn't we win in his 13 year reign? There was even a winner when your nemesis was in power in 81 with Bucks Fizz.  

[Cade]

45 minutes ago, sadj said:

Almost topless milkmaids? Say what?

Edited May 23, 2021 by Cade

[SectionDJambo]

1 hour ago, Seymour M Hersh said:

 

It's just a bit embarrassing you're trying to blame a lack of success in the Eurovisions on the Tory party and Brexit. If Blair was so loved by Europe why didn't we win in his 13 year reign? There was even a winner when your nemesis was in power in 81 with Bucks Fizz.  

I didn’t mean to imply that Blair was popular, rather that Thatcher was unpopular, with other European countries. Whilst I didn’t particularly like Thatcher, she certainly wasn’t my nemesis. For all you know, I may have even voted for her rather than the donkey jacket. That’s for me to know. She was a powerful politician who didn’t bother who she upset home and abroad.

All I suggested was that when she was PM the UK generally did badly at Eurovision, and now that Johnson has pissed off the Europeans we end up with zero points. It’s just public opinion in action. 
Like it or not, there have been periods in recent history where the British have not been overly popular with our neighbours, which considering what this country did for Europe is quite an achievement. 
As for Brexit, it took years for British governments of both colours to persuade the French to let the UK into the Common Market in the first place.

[Locky]

2 hours ago, Jambo-Jimbo said:

 

That was tried and it failed.

We had a team of professional song-writers who'd wrote many hits for top artists, even had Lloyd-Webber writing songs and they all failed to make any impact.

 

Last night's song imo was poor, the performance even poorer.

 

My two bits worth, is that we need to change the selection process, we need to stop picking songs which the British public like or vote for and start thinking what the continental Europeans will like and will vote for, especially now that the public votes are making such a difference.

Notwithstanding that any votes we get will come from continental Europe, so we have to cater to that market.

 

A reverse example, how many times have you been on holiday and there's a song being played constantly from the pool or beach bar, and your thinking this is crap, only to find out that it's a massive hit all over continental Europe, number 1 in 12 countries etc etc, but you think it's rubbish.

I think this is part of our problem, in that what we might like the continental Europeans are thinking is crap.

 

With you on that one. UK either take it too seriously, or a half hearted attempt at cheesy. Can't quite nail the balance. Every year, there's always a few songs that I really like. They tend to be a bit out there. Never once has it been the UK. I prefer the continental approach. In fairness, the best thing I can think of happening to the UK is losing 'top 5' status and having to qualify like every other ****. Maybe then, we'd try.

[Locky]

3 hours ago, Captain Slog said:

This thread is a little Kickback in miniature.  As soon as the big boys went to bed, all the dissenters came out, despite not squeaking once when everyone else was on.  Its like the closet muppets on the Terrace.  Or the Republicans on the Biden Trump thread that never air their views when reasonable people are about.

 

Yes the Eurovision is all that people say.  But its all a bit of fun.  Chill out  and let others enjoy what they can in these trying times.

Good post. I just came back to see what was said after last night, and it's got a little bit too political and opinionated for my liking.

 

In a world that is becoming ever more serious, Eurovision is a little slice of insanity that we all need. I totally get why people might not like it, but for me, it's brilliant. I watched every minute last night and it was just great. After a tough time lately in my personal life, nothing else mattered for a few hours. I had a drink, a chat with like minded people, and an all round good laugh. Some people should try it.

[Jambo-Jimbo]

3 minutes ago, Locky said:

With you on that one. UK either take it too seriously, or a half hearted attempt at cheesy. Can't quite nail the balance. Every year, there's always a few songs that I really like. They tend to be a bit out there. Never once has it been the UK. I prefer the continental approach. In fairness, the best thing I can think of happening to the UK is losing 'top 5' status and having to qualify like every other ****. Maybe then, we'd try.

 

Not going to happen, the UK along with France, Germany, Italy & Spain bankroll the thing, that's why the big 5 as they are called never have to pre-qualify and they go straight into the final.

[Locky]

5 minutes ago, Jambo-Jimbo said:

 

Not going to happen, the UK along with France, Germany, Italy & Spain bankroll the thing, that's why the big 5 as they are called never have to pre-qualify and they go straight into the final.

Yeah I know, I just meant in terms of inspiring the UK. It seems as though they're lazy as **** and don't care if they write something half arsed because they'll be a part of it no matter what.

[Jambo-Jimbo]

1 hour ago, SectionDJambo said:

 

All I suggested was that when she was PM the UK generally did badly at Eurovision, and now that Johnson has pissed off the Europeans we end up with zero points. It’s just public opinion in action. 
 

 

Somehow I think Mr & Mrs European have more on their plate than thinking about how they can feck over Boris Johnson & the British people because of Brexit.  I'd bet that most don't give a flying feck about brexit.

[Jambo-Jimbo]

7 minutes ago, Locky said:

Yeah I know, I just meant in terms of inspiring the UK. It seems as though they're lazy as **** and don't care if they write something half arsed because they'll be a part of it no matter what.

 

It's an awful lot of money to just piss about and not take things seriously, £310k seemingly the UK paid this year.

[SectionDJambo]

Just now, Jambo-Jimbo said:

 

Somehow I think Mr & Mrs European have more on their plate than thinking about how they can feck over Boris Johnson & the British people because of Brexit.  I'd bet that most don't give a flying feck about brexit.

On my last visit to Germany, the disappointment of the UK leaving was made clear by most of my cousins and a couple of taxi drivers I got talking to. It’s clear that certain European politicians now have tetchy relationships with the UK government, which will pass down to the public as those politicians blame the UK for any downturn in fortunes. The French have already been threatening a blockade at Calais. Many in this country have been blaming Johnny Foreigner for many of our problems in recent years. It’s not unreasonable to expect them to think the same about us over Brexit.

[Jambo-Jimbo]

9 minutes ago, SectionDJambo said:

On my last visit to Germany, the disappointment of the UK leaving was made clear by most of my cousins and a couple of taxi drivers I got talking to. It’s clear that certain European politicians now have tetchy relationships with the UK government, which will pass down to the public as those politicians blame the UK for any downturn in fortunes. The French have already been threatening a blockade at Calais. Many in this country have been blaming Johnny Foreigner for many of our problems in recent years. It’s not unreasonable to expect them to think the same about us over Brexit.

 

I just don't see your average mainland European being so petty and vindictive as to not vote for the British entry because of brexit or Bojo.

I think the main reason is because the British entries have been pish & have been for years.

 

As for the French, they are always threatening to go on strike or set up a blockade for something or another, it's a normal day in France, it's in their DNA.

[SectionDJambo]

23 minutes ago, Jambo-Jimbo said:

 

I just don't see your average mainland European being so petty and vindictive as to not vote for the British entry because of brexit or Bojo.

I think the main reason is because the British entries have been pish & have been for years.

 

As for the French, they are always threatening to go on strike or set up a blockade for something or another, it's a normal day in France, it's in their DNA.

 You're right, of course, but any negativity that Europeans have about Brexit and Johnson may be lingering in the back of the minds of the ordinary Joe.

Eurovision has been an embarrassment for the UK for years and has been peddled as a bit of a joke since Terry Wogan was the voice of the BBC coverage. The UK just not taking it seriously is as much to blame as any negativity towards the UK. But getting zero points would suggest a combination of factors.

One thing I find strange about the EU is why they still use English at press conferences when the UK is no longer in the club. 

[Weakened Offender]

4 hours ago, Seymour M Hersh said:

 

It's just a bit embarrassing you're trying to blame a lack of success in the Eurovisions on the Tory party and Brexit. If Blair was so loved by Europe why didn't we win in his 13 year reign? There was even a winner when your nemesis was in power in 81 with Bucks Fizz.  

 

Iraq. 

 

That's when it all started. 

 

Everyone’s hating the UK. ❤️

 

[Cade]

 

[highlandjambo3]

Just to confirm my earlier post………this competition is p**h

[Jambo-Jimbo]

29 minutes ago, SectionDJambo said:

 You're right, of course, but any negativity that Europeans have about Brexit and Johnson may be lingering in the back of the minds of the ordinary Joe.

Eurovision has been an embarrassment for the UK for years and has been peddled as a bit of a joke since Terry Wogan was the voice of the BBC coverage. The UK just not taking it seriously is as much to blame as any negativity towards the UK. But getting zero points would suggest a combination of factors.

One thing I find strange about the EU is why they still use English at press conferences when the UK is no longer in the club. 

 

French MEP's have been after English to be dropped for years, and they might one day get their wish.

[Weakened Offender]

6 minutes ago, weehammy said:

Our ‘European friends’ disliked us long before that. But they love our tourism dosh !

 

 

And we love their cheap coffin nails 😉

Edited May 23, 2021 by Weakened Offender

[Weakened Offender]

5 minutes ago, weehammy said:

Boom, bang-a-bang! 🎶🎵

 

Bookmarked. 😊

[King Of The Cat Cafe]

Used to be it was just Ireland that gave the UK songs no points, now it's the whole of Europe.

I blame Boris Johnson.

[Hesh]

47 minutes ago, Weakened Offender said:

 

Iraq. 

 

That's when it all started. 

 

Everyone’s hating the UK. ❤️

 

spot on, you can even get more points these days blowing families up in their houses

[Ulysses]

11 hours ago, Seymour M Hersh said:

I really don't know why we bother wasting money on this shite anymore. We could be represented by the reincarnation of The Beatles and they'd still give us **** all points. 

 

9 hours ago, GBJambo said:

Waste of time this. Never about “music” it’s all political. 

 

 

2 hours ago, SectionDJambo said:

On my last visit to Germany, the disappointment of the UK leaving was made clear by most of my cousins and a couple of taxi drivers I got talking to. It’s clear that certain European politicians now have tetchy relationships with the UK government, which will pass down to the public as those politicians blame the UK for any downturn in fortunes. The French have already been threatening a blockade at Calais. Many in this country have been blaming Johnny Foreigner for many of our problems in recent years. It’s not unreasonable to expect them to think the same about us over Brexit.

 

 

Jaysus lads, some of you are very sensitive.  There were over a dozen juries that aren't in the EU and couldn't give a shite about the UK's politics.

 

The reason the UK does crap at this is the same reason Ireland does.  Since Ireland and the UK last won (mid-90s) the voting power has shifted eastwards, and neither the UK nor Ireland has followed the voters.  Write a decent song that audiences like (or can have fun with) and we'll do well.  Keep sending the sort of stuff we sent this year and we won't.  That's "we", lads, not "yiz".

[SectionDJambo]

1 minute ago, Ulysses said:

 

 

 

 

 

Jaysus lads, some of you are very sensitive.  There were over a dozen juries that aren't in the EU and couldn't give a shite about the UK's politics.

 

The reason the UK does crap at this is the same reason Ireland does.  Since Ireland and the UK last won (mid-90s) the voting power has shifted eastwards, and neither the UK nor Ireland has followed the voters.  Write a decent song that audiences like (or can have fun with) and we'll do well.  Keep sending the sort of stuff we sent this year and we won't.  That's "we", lads, not "yiz".

I don’t even watch it. Don’t know how I got involved in a conversation about how crap the UK has been for years 😊

I haven’t even heard our illustrious entry.

I happened to tune in when the winners were doing their encore.

Oh my.

[Nucky Thompson]

Europeans trying to punish the UK through a shitty 'singing' contest 

Scottish nationalists lapping it up 

Butchers apron  It must be the most cringeworthy thing I've heard since the hibbies started calling Hearts fans yams.

But I still love it 

 

[sadj]

1 minute ago, Nucky Thompson said:

Europeans trying to punish the UK through a shitty 'singing' contest 

Scottish nationalists lapping it up 

Butchers apron  It must be the most cringeworthy thing I've heard since the hibbies started calling Hearts fans yams.

But I still love it 

 

Watcha on about ya madman?

[sadj]

5 hours ago, Cade said:

O I C 😶

[Nucky Thompson]

2 minutes ago, sadj said:

Watcha on about ya madman?

 Afternoon sessions should be banned.

 

[sadj]

25 minutes ago, Nucky Thompson said:

 Afternoon sessions should be banned.

 

🤣Sunday Fundays are always allowed

Edited May 23, 2021 by sadj

[Locky]

Double post.

Edited May 23, 2021 by Locky

[Locky]

Triple post.  

Edited May 23, 2021 by Locky

[Locky]

 I've no idea wtf happened there. Posted twice by accident and 4 turned up.