Acey Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Just got home from another exciting day in the world of bookmaking. I open the door to my room, and two filthy b******ing pigeons erupt from above me (where they'd presumably been sleeping on top of my wardrobe all day) and proceed to lead me on a cartoon-esque jaunt around my room, during which they crashed into the window in several attempts to escape. I now live in fear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Try reading The Pigeon by Patrick Suskind. And await your mental demise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gigolo-Aunt Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Acey, you could be the new Harold Lloyd. There is an opening in the market since he has been dead since 1971. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Professor.Arturo Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Sorry Acey But I found that image hilarious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flux Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=lav92tfPNBg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Just got home from another exciting day in the world of bookmaking. I open the door to my room, and two filthy b******ing pigeons erupt from above me That's like my worst nightmare mate. I'm scared of the little *******s I'd have had to leave the house and get someone else to deal with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Professor.Arturo Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 That's like my worst nightmare mate. I'm scared of the little *******s I'd have had to leave the house and get someone else to deal with it. Ya woose Bet yer pussy cat widnae be feared Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Bet yer pussy cat widnae be feared One of them would - the other would have a field day. I don't fancy the mess that would leave either Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chester copperpot Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Get them pumped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart Lyon Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 What did you DOO to get rid of them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acey Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 I loved Pigeon Street. Not anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovecraft Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 We were at my mates house last week and were all pretty wasted on Absinthe Anyhoo, he shot a wood pigeon outside and we ended up gutting and eating the little fecker. Pretty tasty. He has loads of grouse but apparently they are his friends and has known them for years. What I'm saying is, get an air rifle, a saucepan and some garlic olive oil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Lock them in your room with the door shut Acey, and proceed to stay in there until you manage to kick the shiiit out of them, my ambition is to actually connect with one of these little hobo vermin fekkers with the tip of my foot, really hard! Pished masel at the thought of you filling yer breeks as they dived everywhere when you walked in the room and least expected it though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i8hibsh Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Just got home from another exciting day in the world of bookmaking. I open the door to my room, and two filthy b******ing pigeons erupt from above me (where they'd presumably been sleeping on top of my wardrobe all day) and proceed to lead me on a cartoon-esque jaunt around my room, during which they crashed into the window in several attempts to escape. I now live in fear. First time you have had a bird in yer room Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drew Busby ! Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Just got home from another exciting day in the world of bookmaking. I open the door to my room, and two filthy b******ing pigeons erupt from above me (where they'd presumably been sleeping on top of my wardrobe all day) and proceed to lead me on a cartoon-esque jaunt around my room, during which they crashed into the window in several attempts to escape. I now live in fear. Bugger. You need to get one of these now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incompetnce Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I agree about Pigeon Street. (Although it was an awesome programme). Also if the OP is who I think this is who I think it is you'll know about the surgery for my brother on FB. Good lord, I never knew you were on kickback. Get studying boyo . Rob. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tams bird Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I was in a pub one night and pidgeon flew in. Hilarious as the staff tried to catch. Somebody fell off ladders and down the stairs. Couldnt leave it sitting up high in casde it out the alarm off at night.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flimsy Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 First time you have had a bird in yer room Technically, it was a menage-a-trois. The ONLY kind, two birds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
N User Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 obvious solution. Get a plastic owl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craigieboy Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Get some sellotape & then pump them. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigC Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 If you feed them baking soda they explode. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 If you feed them baking soda they explode. I'm dying to see that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobblers Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I had 3 bloody Peacocks in my garden the other day. They keep wandering around our estate (housing not my grounds:p). Wake me up every morning at 5.00 a.m. with their screeching. Does anyone know what they taste like, could save some money on the Sunday Dinner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 If you feed them baking soda they explode. In my early teens, a mate and me covered a slice of bread in the stuff to feed to the pigeons/seagulls and test the theory. For good measure we added Jif. We were about to throw the 1st slice out of the window when his demented dug jumped up and eat them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I had 3 bloody Peacocks in my garden the other day. They keep wandering around our estate (housing not my grounds:p). Wake me up every morning at 5.00 a.m. with their screeching. Does anyone know what they taste like, could save some money on the Sunday Dinner. I've heard you like to taste the ******, that's why your taking a bloke to Belfast apparently Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigC Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I'm dying to see that! It's best to do it around a pier or in an open space. When I say they explode, they kind of just go pop and drop out of the sky. If you are not in an open area you probably won't actually see it happen. Another fun thing to do is tie two wee fish to some fishing gut through the gills, then let the sea gulls eat them. As soon as one flies off with a whole fish swallowed, another gull will eat the other fish. When they fly in different directions one of the fish just pops back out to be eaten by the next passing bird. The best thing about it is that it doesn't seem to do them much harm. The same bird will chase after the fish again and swallow it a second time. It can last for hours if you manage to get the right size of fish and tie it right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griclesfield Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 hope the gulls didnae **** on ur porn mags on top of the wardrope. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sked21 Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Just a pity you don't have one of these costumes. How ace would it be to have one of these costumes and just run around the likes of Princess Street ****ing folk off. Although I would be scared of coming across JM and for the foot up the jacksy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 If I saw one that size I think I'd bolt! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redm Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Maybe I'm losing my marbles, but I'm sure there was a song that was all about 'catching the pigeon'...from Pigeon Street...but every time I think I've remembered the tune, I find I'm actually thinking of 'Long Distance Lara'. I'm mighty confused. Anyway, pigeons aside Acey....didn't you also set your house on fire a few weeks ago?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Say What Again Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Maybe I'm losing my marbles, but I'm sure there was a song that was all about 'catching the pigeon'.. Dastardly & Mutley http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=gUb761oGt4g&feature=related and some boys performing it in a boozer http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9WmXDHMFkA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobblers Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 I've heard you like to taste the ******, that's why your taking a bloke to Belfast apparently You and Andy seemed to have so much fun the other Friday night I thought I'd give it a go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovecraft Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/norfolk/7496923.stm Better make sure you don't have any undies lying around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 You and Andy seemed to have so much fun the other Friday night I thought I'd give it a go. That was just a nasty rumour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Maybe I'm losing my marbles, but I'm sure there was a song that was all about 'catching the pigeon'...from Pigeon Street...but every time I think I've remembered the tune, I find I'm actually thinking of 'Long Distance Lara'. I'm mighty confused. Anyway, pigeons aside Acey....didn't you also set your house on fire a few weeks ago?! I bet Acey blames the pigeons for that too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The People's Chimp Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 you should totally contact the sun with this stunning story and see if they'll throw you a page 7 spread. Claim they relieved themselves on your ?55 contract law book, and your hearts scarf then get them to take a photo of you looking somewhere inbetween bemused and scared. it worked for those girls with the bats.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazio Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 you should totally contact the sun with this stunning story and see if they'll throw you a page 7 spread. Claim they relieved themselves on your ?55 contract law book, and your hearts scarf then get them to take a photo of you looking somewhere inbetween bemused and scared. it worked for those girls with the bats.... That would be the girl with the bat who happened to be willing to do a photo in her bra for the press, showing off her 34FF charlies? I don't think Acey in his Y's would be quite as appealing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Old Tolbooth Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 That would be the girl with the bat who happened to be willing to do a photo in her bra for the press, showing off her 34FF charlies? I don't think Acey in his Y's would be quite as appealing. :eek::eek::eek::eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The People's Chimp Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 That would be the girl with the bat who happened to be willing to do a photo in her bra for the press, showing off her 34FF charlies? I don't think Acey in his Y's would be quite as appealing. I'm sure terapist would pick up a copy.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acey Posted July 9, 2008 Author Share Posted July 9, 2008 Anyway, pigeons aside Acey....didn't you also set your house on fire a few weeks ago?! The answer to that depends on how much faith you have in the power of Poetic License. Some cracking replies on this thread, btw. My faith in KB grows stronger with every one. Oh, and Tazio; you don't know what you're missing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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