Boof Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 This chap might be more appropriate for the cooking that Dundee is familiar with... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smack Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 [The mean streets of Craiglang] Victor: Yir looking a bit perturbed there Jack. Jack: I am that Victor and with good reason. V: They ******s at Dundee I suppose, nothing we can dae aboot it though. J: That's where you are wrong Victor, for I have a plan, and said plan is twofold. V: Away and don't talk shite. J: Who's talking shite? I've taken out a contract on their manager, it'll ruin them. [Eric pulls up in Navid's van] Eric: It wisnae easy Jack, but I've got him, bound gagged and delivered. J: Good work Eric, now where's that bloody assass...... [A tall dark stranger approaches] TDS: Queen Ann clucks thrice at midnight. J: Aah Mr Levein, I've been expecting you. V: Christ Jack, you've finally lost it. And should he no be stroking a pussy? CL: I'll stroke your pussy, now show me the merchandise. [Jack opens the van doors to reveal..] V: That's Jocky Scott ya pair of pricks, he's no been the manager for years. J: Aye, ye could be right now I think about it. Games a bogey Mr Levein, sorry about that. CL: I'll still be wanting paid for the duration of my contract. I'll collect my Nobel prize for literature and my coat on the way out 😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvonnejambo Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 6 hours ago, Smack said: [The mean streets of Craiglang] Victor: Yir looking a bit perturbed there Jack. Jack: I am that Victor and with good reason. V: They ******s at Dundee I suppose, nothing we can dae aboot it though. J: That's where you are wrong Victor, for I have a plan, and said plan is twofold. V: Away and don't talk shite. J: Who's talking shite? I've taken out a contract on their manager, it'll ruin them. [Eric pulls up in Navid's van] Eric: It wisnae easy Jack, but I've got him, bound gagged and delivered. J: Good work Eric, now where's that bloody assass...... [A tall dark stranger approaches] TDS: Queen Ann clucks thrice at midnight. J: Aah Mr Levein, I've been expecting you. V: Christ Jack, you've finally lost it. And should he no be stroking a pussy? CL: I'll stroke your pussy, now show me the merchandise. [Jack opens the van doors to reveal..] V: That's Jocky Scott ya pair of pricks, he's no been the manager for years. J: Aye, ye could be right now I think about it. Games a bogey Mr Levein, sorry about that. CL: I'll still be wanting paid for the duration of my contract. I'll collect my Nobel prize for literature and my coat on the way out 😁 Brilliant 🤣 my night stories are not going to be as good as that. So Smack is winning, I will leave it open till 10am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Bored so did a vote count. Fairly standard day 1 stuff: Groot 1 Boof 1 JamboSean 1 Magic Numbers 1 Smack 1 Derek from Stenhouse 1 Iantjambo 1 Geoff 1 Prince Buaben 1 Shapes 1 Rudi Skacel 1 4 left to vote Friday 10pm deadline. Think that’s correct Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Buaben Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Forgot to add that i would use BS but cant as i am just a a townie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boof Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Definitely not a fan of deadlines as I think it makes life too easy for the goons. Anyway, before I head 'in' to work (which consists of me shifting from one erse-cheek to the other - my ones, not the revolting Glasgow-based ones) here's a little something I was working on last night... Methadone Mick stumbled out from under his bridge and cadged 50p from me as I was heading to open the bar. “Here ye go, ye waster. Now, bugger off – you’re liable to upset my customers.” “Ayyyeeee…awwwriiiiggghhhhtttt theeeennnnn. Ah’ll away ti see mah wee sister, Michelle and her weans and grandweans in Dundee. I hink it’s her 21st burthday tiday. Goat another 50p so Ah cin get ra Megabus?” And with my second 50p of the day, Mick stoddered off to Buchanan Street to try and make his way to the family reunion. Clutching his breakfast of a boattle ay ginger and a pack ay Dori’os he stumbled onto the bus and sat behind the driver. As the bus progressed towards Stirling, Mick started to shake. Shite! He’d missed his morning prescription. Ach well, nothing for it. Just huv ti continue… Through Stirling, then Perth they finally reached the outskirts of Dundee. Mick was feeling queasy, but reckoned he could hold on until the bus station. Not chance! As the bus lurched over a speed bump his stomach heaved and the contents thereof – bright red from the cherryade mixed with the fluorescent orange of the extra spicy Doritos - cascaded over the unwitting driver’s head. “Jesus H ****ing Christ, you ****ing junkie animal,” he cried as he rummaged beside his seat for a tissue, a cloth – anything to wipe his specs clean. Alas, he failed to spot the roadworks ahead and his bus careered through the cones, the temporary traffic lights and the workies’ hut straight into a petrol station and uprooted three pumps. Petrol started to gush out (actually, it probably wouldn’t – there must be some sort of safety device that would preclude such an event but it wouldn’t make for such an exciting tale) and as it sprayed onto the underside of the bus it ignited. As the bus burned ferociously, the pool of fuel inched towards the Calor gas compound. And started to heat up the large cylinders contained therein. Suddenly they started igniting. Not only igniting but firing off like rockets. Flying through the sky reaching unfeasible heights they started to rain down over the city. As John Nelms exited his company Smart car outside Kilmac Stadium (yes – that appears to be the name of their grubby wee shitehole) a scorching hot gas cylinder plunged down and severed his duplicitous head from its miserable scrawny neck. And set fire to it. A passing Hearts fan looked at the burning Chairman and thought “Nah, I’ll save my pish for later”. That was not the end of the troubles for Dundee FC though. Cylinders rained down on their poxy dump and burned it to the ground. Some more cylinders came down and exploded once they’d made it to earth. The ground was utterly destroyed – everything left a pile of ash. Including the fire insurance renewal cheque in Eric Drysdale’s out tray. Oh, dear. No chairman, no ground, no insurance. Could that be the end for Dundee FC? I ****ing hope so. The only saving grace for that miserable little club is the fact that the damage to the area actually resulted in £50,000 of improvements. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvonnejambo Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 Ok Boof your version is very good too! So as I am in charge I am making the final decision on immunity for today’s lynch Smack and Boof both immune for today’s lynch. Now back to try and eliminate the Bams of Craiglang. Deadline 10pm tonight and will be no point in voting Boof or Smack today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 unvote boof vote vladmagic Only cos Boof has immunity Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsmak Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 unvote Smack Vote - Geoff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flux Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Vote Geoff... The guy above has a point Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudi Skacel Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Vote bigsmak just a day 1 vote and he doesnt have a vote on him atm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geoff Kilpatrick Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 vote Bigsmak Cheeky git Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shapes Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Nice stories Boof & Smack. I didn't bother as I'm not the most creative of folks and definitely couldn't have got it to that level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunny Munro Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Some weird voting going on already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smack Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Boof actually caused a bit of damage to Dundee in his yarn, but I'll not look a gift horse in the mouth 😁 Leaving my vote with Magic Numbers for now as they haven't posted yet and it's always difficult to decipher anything on Day 1. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudi Skacel Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 On a sidenote, did anyone try Greg Hemphills impossible still game quiz on tuesday night? It was really hard, I got 5 out of 30! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigsmak Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 2 hours ago, Geoff Kilpatrick said: vote Bigsmak Cheeky git I am cheeky - but just a cheeky townie in this game - so a vote for me is a wasted one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvonnejambo Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 Does anyone know Magic Numbers? They haven’t posted on this or read my pm at the beginning of game. Just to give a nudge that games started Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 @Magic Numbers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 just checked magic numbers has not been on here since wednesday night Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 What happens if he doesn’t post before deadline? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 unvote Vlad magic vote magic numbers No point having non- players Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudi Skacel Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 (edited) He will be Modkilled Edited April 17, 2020 by Rudi Skacel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 1 minute ago, Rudi Skacel said: He will be Modkilled Is that in addition to the player who gets lynched at deadline or do they take their place? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Buaben Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Social distancing seems to be working here in Craiglang as its so quiet. I wonder if they will all be saving thier daily exercise for a late late evening stroll. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flux Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Goons must be happy... Anyone watching the darts tournament from 7.30pm online? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 of course it is quiet i can't get down the clansman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvonnejambo Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 Vote Count so far Geoff-3 Bigsmak- 2 Magic Numbers- 2 Groot-1 Sean-1 Derek- 1 Prince Buaben -1 Shapes -1 Rudi -1 Ian -1 Magic Numbers still to vote deadline 10pm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 @Boof Lager and a Goldie ya pr!ck. 🍺🥃 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvonnejambo Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 1 hour ago, iantjambo said: Is that in addition to the player who gets lynched at deadline or do they take their place? In addition to whoever is due to get lynched Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flux Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Unvote Geoff Vote sean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boof Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 45 minutes ago, milky_26 said: of course it is quiet i can't get down the clansman Clansman is shite - Browns is the place to be. Put on a postie uniform and you'll get through any lockdown busybody snitchers no problem. In fact - didn't you forget to leave something for me? Just nip along with it now. No social distancing and I've put 50 credits on the Space Invader machine. And watch your language there young iant...this is a higher-class establishment than that scuzzy Clansman - nae offence Boaby. Pint o lager and a comin' your way. Hey - I never claimed to be a good barman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 right then @Boof a pint of heavy and a pie ya space invadin pr!ck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boof Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 I'll go for a tentative Unvote Derek from Stenhouse and Vote Magic Numbers unless he turns up later - hoping that the Derek unvote doesn't leave me with egg on my face eventually. 🤔🤨 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 4 minutes ago, Boof said: Clansman is shite - Browns is the place to be. Put on a postie uniform and you'll get through any lockdown busybody snitchers no problem. In fact - didn't you forget to leave something for me? Just nip along with it now. No social distancing and I've put 50 credits on the Space Invader machine. And watch your language there young iant...this is a higher-class establishment than that scuzzy Clansman - nae offence Boaby. Pint o lager and a comin' your way. Hey - I never claimed to be a good barman Didn’t Bobo Mitchell have someone shot to death in your higher class establishment? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boof Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 2 minutes ago, milky_26 said: right then @Boof a pint of heavy and a pie ya space invadin pr!ck Just leave the chips and peas if you don't want 'em. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boof Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 1 minute ago, iantjambo said: Didn’t Bobo Mitchell have someone shot to death in your higher class establishment? Don't think I saw that episode... Errrmmmm, I mean no, no...nothing to see here. A vicious rumour spread by ne'er-do-wells intent on running me out of business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 2 minutes ago, Boof said: Don't think I saw that episode... Errrmmmm, I mean no, no...nothing to see here. A vicious rumour spread by ne'er-do-wells intent on running me out of business. Poor Winston was just trying to have a quiet pint and some masked, shotgun wielding thug stormed in and shot some poor bloke who was only playing pool. Yer pubs a hole. Another pint please Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 @Boof Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boof Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 1 minute ago, iantjambo said: @Boof Never seen that before The Thirsty Laird...formerly Broons. 🍺 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 3 minutes ago, Boof said: Never seen that before The Thirsty Laird...formerly Broons. 🍺 That’s from the one where Winston gets barred from the Clansman. Think it’s the episode where Jack dates the woman from the charity shop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milky_26 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 18 minutes ago, iantjambo said: That’s from the one where Winston gets barred from the Clansman. Think it’s the episode where Jack dates the woman from the charity shop. courtin, episode 4 of series 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 1 minute ago, milky_26 said: courtin, episode 4 of series 1 That's the one 👍🏻 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambosean75 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Unvote groot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jambosean75 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Vote Derek Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groot Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 None got a vote count? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iantjambo Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 I make it Magic Numbers-3 Geoff-2 Sean-2 Bigsmak- 2 Derek- 1 Prince Buaben -1 Shapes -1 Rudi -1 Ian -1 Magic Numbers to vote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvonnejambo Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 1 hour ago, yvonnejambo said: Vote Count so far Magic Numbers -3 Geoff-2 Bigsmak- 2 Sean-2 Derek- 1 Prince Buaben -1 Shapes -1 Rudi -1 Ian -1 Magic Numbers still to vote deadline 10pm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvonnejambo Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 Night Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvonnejambo Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 (edited) After some of the residents had a jolly to Dundee they all headed back to Craiglang, They headed for a pint in the Clansman. Whilst there they had a think about who had been very quiet and decided Magic Numbers was possibly a bit of a bam and decided his fate, they gathered round him and gave him a fateful blow to the head with a Buckie bottle Magic Numbers was really Jack a reputable mason Now time for night pms please Edited April 17, 2020 by yvonnejambo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.