Jump to content
martoon

Bizarre Injuries

Recommended Posts

RobboM

Playing cricket, back in my younger days, no helmets then.

I was batting and flicked a ball away to the boundary for 4. Pleased with myself I'm tapping the wicket as you do as the throw comes in from the boundary, clears the wicket keeper and hits me flush on the head. Off to A&E for stitches and it's a messy thing, not a clean cut more like a starburst.

I returned a couple of hours later with a big turban bandage and go back in to bat

**** concussion 🤕

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
King prawn

Cut my head open in a carpet shop :facepalm:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
luckyBatistuta
1 hour ago, Boof said:

 

Brushing your teeth??? :o 


 

:rofl:

 

very clever :bravo:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lemongrab
18 hours ago, Morgan said:

She was behind me on her bike when it happened, so she knew most of the Lindt was fine (except the chocolate I was eating at the time of the incident).  The automatic barrier was however, not fine :lol: .

 

The port guard took my name and address and said we’d probably have to pay for the damage.

 

This may well have happened if I had given him the correct name and address. :whistling:

I hope it was Monsieur Riordan of 5/1 Rue de Paques.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Morgan
Just now, Lemongrab said:

I hope it was Monsieur Riordan of 5/1 Rue de Paques.

:lol: 

 

Good one!

 

Unfortunately, I never thought of that.  :sad: 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Morgan
9 hours ago, luckyBatistuta said:


Not an eye injury, but very close, snapped the old foreskin. 
image.png.0b799a6bd8288f715eed8a541a066cdd.png

:nojustno: 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
luckyBatistuta
23 minutes ago, Morgan said:

:nojustno: 


 

F044C53B-48E7-4E9F-9B2C-376DF1C93541.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tazio
20 hours ago, All roads lead to Gorgie said:

Elbow injury after trying to put jeans on in the bathroom after a shower. Didn't dry my feet properly and one of them got stuck in the leg, started hopping around and then slipped on the wet floor. Fell right on the elbow, ouch!

 

In the same style I dislocated a toe trying to take my trousers off while ridiculously pished. Apparently my girlfriend at the time (sober and annoyed at the state I came home in) had told me several times to sit on the edge of the bed to take them off as I had little balance left. I didn't realise until the next day as being thoroughly pished I'd slept in my socks (just my socks rather oddly) and slept in for work so just chucked some clothes on and got a taxi. I spent all morning moaning about having a sore foot, then took my sock of at lunchtime to check and discovered the toe next to my big toe now had a 90 degree bend in it. 

She thought it was hilarious, me less so knowing that I'd have to go and get it re-set at the hospital.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ri Alban
10 hours ago, luckyBatistuta said:


Not an eye injury, but very close, snapped the old foreskin. 
image.png.0b799a6bd8288f715eed8a541a066cdd.png

 

3 hours ago, Boof said:

 

Brushing your teeth??? :o 

It's the name of his Pit bull.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Robbo-Jambo
On 14/02/2020 at 17:32, Morgan said:

Mine (a few years ago) involved a bag of Lindt chocolates, a bike and the automatic barrier that is supposed ( :lol: )

to keep people out of the port area, unless they have a boat berthed there.

 

Resulted in a bashed head and nose, and a very red face.

 

Tell us more M. 

 

Bit vague 😉

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
andyscott82

I bet nobody else on here has broken their own ankle with a ten pin bowling ball...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
superjack
1 hour ago, andyscott82 said:

I bet nobody else on here has broken their own ankle with a ten pin bowling ball...

No, but I once ripped my ear in half after slipping on some ice.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RS86

I've had a few cracking injuries mainly gym and competition related, but my most recent injury was last week running out to the bins in my socks while it was pouring down and dark, ran straight into a broken paving slab I had moved earlier and forgot about. Dislocated my toe.

 

Thought it was broken until next morning when I spotted some blood and started cleaning it up and it popped back into place :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
FinnBarr Saunders
12 hours ago, RobboM said:

Playing cricket, back in my younger days, no helmets then.

I was batting and flicked a ball away to the boundary for 4. Pleased with myself I'm tapping the wicket as you do as the throw comes in from the boundary, clears the wicket keeper and hits me flush on the head. Off to A&E for stitches and it's a messy thing, not a clean cut more like a starburst.

I returned a couple of hours later with a big turban bandage and go back in to bat

**** concussion 🤕

 

 

My old man still has a scar above his eye after being hit by a cricket ball in Egypt whilst in the RAF at the end of WW2, 94 now

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
luckyBatistuta
4 hours ago, FinnBarr Saunders said:

 

My old man still has a scar above his eye after being hit by a cricket ball in Egypt whilst in the RAF at the end of WW2, 94 now


I’ve still got a scar on my lower lip from childhood, when my dad whacked me in the face with a badminton racket  (total accident, doubles match and we were on the same team)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
gjcc
1 hour ago, luckyBatistuta said:


I’ve still got a scar on my lower lip from childhood, when my dad whacked me in the face with a badminton racket  (total accident, doubles match and we were on the same team)


That’s what I’d say too if I wanted to get away with hitting my son with a badminton racket. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
BarneyBattles

I know a guy who lost an eye due to his dad accidentally firing an arrow at him. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Harry Potter
On 14/02/2020 at 16:38, AlimOzturk said:

Apparently I had a fight with a traffic cone one night and ended up breaking my metatarsal bone. I say apparently because I was so hammered I cant remember said encounter but my mates all happily ripped the pish out of me for it  

Rolled off my  bed on to a wine glass, rushed to the royal in an ambulance, 7 stitches inserted.in my elbow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Bull's-eye
7 minutes ago, Harry Potter said:

Rolled off my  bed on to a wine glass, rushed to the royal in an ambulance, 7 stitches inserted.in my elbow.

 

You forgot to mention being dropped on your head as a bairn.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Harry Potter
1 hour ago, Bull's-eye said:

 

You forgot to mention being dropped on your head as a bairn.

Fell out my pram, stand corrected, :robbo:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Morgan
1 hour ago, Harry Potter said:

Rolled off my  bed on to a wine glass, rushed to the royal in an ambulance, 7 stitches inserted.in my elbow.

I just know I’m going to regret asking this but, why did you have a wine glass on the floor beside your bed, Harry?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ri Alban
1 minute ago, Morgan said:

I just know I’m going to regret asking this but, why did you have a wine glass on the floor beside your bed, Harry?

So that he could roll onto it. Keep up, Morgs!

:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Morgan
Just now, ri Alban said:

So that he could roll onto it. Keep up, Morgs!

:)

:lol: Knew I’d regret asking!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ri Alban
Just now, Morgan said:

:lol: Knew I’d regret asking!

:spoton:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Harry Potter
4 minutes ago, Morgan said:

I just know I’m going to regret asking this but, why did you have a wine glass on the floor beside your bed, Harry?

I was actually with someone at the time.:huh:.i forgot the glass was there.

Blood everywhere, police came 1st and they were going to take me as i was losing blood, 

but the ambulance turned up. nightmare , my dad was not very happy with me, was 21 at the time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jeff

Once sliced my ear adjusting a work bench

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cruyff

I once burst the fluid sac in my knee by hitting myself in the kneecap with a hammer (accidentally, obv). Woke up the next morning, knee the size of a melon, diagnosed with prepattelar bursitis. :facepalm:

Edited by Cruyff

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Der Kaiser

Electrocuted myself in my teens. 

 

Came home from school and noticed the washing machine had leaked....right on to the extension socket it was plugged into. I thought "How dangerous is that" and promptly picked it up to move it out of the water......

 

It was a weird sensation to be gripping so tightly to something and seemingly unable to let go....thankfully it wasnt serious. Although I do remember breathing really strangely for the rest of the day and having that jerky feeling like you had when you were a wee kid and had been crying a lot.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Der Kaiser

Also..

 

Decorating my sons room years ago I took an internet wire off the wall to paint. It was held on with those wee plastic hooks with a nail on one side.

I tried to hop over the paint tin and stood flush on the nail which buried into my heel. I pulled the nail out with a pair of scissors and a chunk of my heel, almost identical in size and shape to the pieces of pie you get in trivial pursuit came out. I wasnt sure what to do so i just pushed it back in my foot and put a plaster on it to keep it in.

 

My jaw was sore the next day which I only later realised was a mild symptom of tetanus.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
martoon
16 minutes ago, Der Kaiser said:

Electrocuted myself in my teens. 

 

Came home from school and noticed the washing machine had leaked....right on to the extension socket it was plugged into. I thought "How dangerous is that" and promptly picked it up to move it out of the water......

 

It was a weird sensation to be gripping so tightly to something and seemingly unable to let go....thankfully it wasnt serious. Although I do remember breathing really strangely for the rest of the day and having that jerky feeling like you had when you were a wee kid and had been crying a lot.....

 

10 minutes ago, Der Kaiser said:

Also..

 

Decorating my sons room years ago I took an internet wire off the wall to paint. It was held on with those wee plastic hooks with a nail on one side.

I tried to hop over the paint tin and stood flush on the nail which buried into my heel. I pulled the nail out with a pair of scissors and a chunk of my heel, almost identical in size and shape to the pieces of pie you get in trivial pursuit came out. I wasnt sure what to do so i just pushed it back in my foot and put a plaster on it to keep it in.

 

My jaw was sore the next day which I only later realised was a mild symptom of tetanus.

 

 

Feck sake. 😭

 

How did it turn out, heel wise?

 

Still intact, chunk missing, cosmetic surgery...?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
martoon

My eyesight has improved on a daily basis, since you ask.

 

Which none of you did. 

 

Uncaring sods. 😢

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
InNothingWeTrust

My wife worked in a cafe during her uni days.  She was cleaning up at the end of the day with a mop, and she somehow managed to bash the top of the handle (made of rubber) into her eye.  After the initial pain/shock, she noticed she had removed all the eyelashes from her eye 😂 

 

Although not an injury as such, it caused her eye to water constantly until the eyelashes grew back 😅

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3fingersreid

Tore my medial ligament changing my daughters nappy . 
Bad habit of when changing her nappy on the floor I would tuck my right leg under my left , made the mistake of leaving the sudacream lying too close to her,  as she reached for it I stretched out to grab it , all my weight onto the right knee and bang ligament tear .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
FinnBarr Saunders
14 hours ago, BarneyBattles said:

I know a guy who lost an eye due to his dad accidentally firing an arrow at him. 

 

How on earth do you accidentally fire an arrow at someone?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Deodato

A tenth of the Scottish civil service is out on incapacity benefits 

 

Bizarre but to be expected, given their contracts. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jamhammer
On 14/02/2020 at 17:20, Smithee said:

I got a shoulder subluxation (dislocation that gets stuck half way out) from a morning stretch, shoulder's still a mess 3 years later.

I did mine in a car crash. Hospital said it wasn’t dislocated but It clicked back a couple of days later and now I can pop it reaching for stuff or stretching/yawning. It hurts but sounds worse than it is

I once got a fishing hook stuck on my cheek. That was a ******* 

Edited by Jamhammer

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ri Alban

I once bounced a nail which was stuck in the claw of my hammer, right into my eye. Blood everywhere and could only see people's outlines with a light where their bodies should be. Just for a minute or two, tho I was panicking.

Most injuries I've had are from work or training. Fallen from the ridge 20+ ft onto scaffolding snapping everything except the bone in my ankle. Then through a roof into a house I was tiling because someone who battened it, missed a nail at the joins. I looked like someone had taken a bat to me. Luck I missed the open stairwell with no stairs, anaw.

I once broke my ankle taking one of my dogs a walk. It was pitch black and I stood where I thought the grass was, but I lorry had chewed it up creating a big ditch. Snap!!! I only know it broken(Pain excluded) because it showed up in the x-ray I had when I fell from the ridge. :D Self employment has its downside.

Edited by ri Alban

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ribble

Ripped foreskin from a one-night stand

 

Tear in my patella tendon taking a bye kick

 

One night after a few after work pints there were roadworks on St Andrews Sq and i'd gone the wrong way on the footpath diversion, instead of  walking back I tried simply jumping over the not overly large barrier, landed on some black ice and somehow managed to fracture 3 metatarsals in my foot, could hardly walk for weeks

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Der Kaiser
14 hours ago, martoon said:

 

 

Feck sake. 😭

 

How did it turn out, heel wise?

 

Still intact, chunk missing, cosmetic surgery...?

 

Had a limp for a few days but it just healed back together eventually.......

 

I put new plasters on top over the following days as I was scared if I pulled it off it would come out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
martoon

Eye Pavilion this afternoon. The toothbrush injury has healed. 

 

😋👍

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Morgan
7 minutes ago, martoon said:

Eye Pavilion this afternoon. The toothbrush injury has healed. 

 

😋👍

Phew!

 

:greggy:

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
martoon
2 minutes ago, Morgan said:

Phew!

 

:greggy:

 

 

 

Cheers, bud. 👍

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Phage

Guy I knew tried to jump into his trousers two legs at the same time. Looked a bit like a skipping rope action. Promised everybody watching he had practised and that it was spectacular, was pretty eager to show off his new party piece.....

 

Fell on his at full force, bust his nose good and cracked his cheekbone or eye socket or something.

 

So a pretty serious injury and a ton of blood everywhere. Otherwise would have been hilarious, dazed and confused, trousers around etc

 

Dont try it at home.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Lemongrab

In physics at school, some eejit turned on the power pack before I went to connect the leads from it to the circuit we'd built (or more like this eejit didn't check if it was on). Both arms jerking like crazy, and I couldn't let go of the crocodile clips I was holding. Ended up with burns on my thumbs and index fingers on both hands.

 

30 odd years ago, I went to disconnect my electric cooker and discovered I had turned off the wrong fuse, when I was thrown across the kitchen. Scary as feck, but no injuries.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Never Let Them Forget

I  shot myself with a nail gun up through my hand, didn’t feel it going in but the look on my work mates face said it all. It was an 88mm nail also 😩

 

Straight to Hospital then on removal blood squirting everywhere!! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ri Alban
8 hours ago, Phage said:

Guy I knew tried to jump into his trousers two legs at the same time. Looked a bit like a skipping rope action. Promised everybody watching he had practised and that it was spectacular, was pretty eager to show off his new party piece.....

 

Fell on his at full force, bust his nose good and cracked his cheekbone or eye socket or something.

 

So a pretty serious injury and a ton of blood everywhere. Otherwise would have been hilarious, dazed and confused, trousers around etc

 

Dont try it at home.

Knew a guy, did ye? :D How's yer face?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Harry Potter

Larking about  the science class at Craigmount school aged about 14, getting chased round the class

and some clown had left a drawer open, ran in to the drawer and split my leg open at shin height.

8 stiches but infection set in and my leg swelled up, , antibiotics   sorted the situation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
IronJambo
12 hours ago, Phage said:

Guy I knew tried to jump into his trousers two legs at the same time. Looked a bit like a skipping rope action. Promised everybody watching he had practised and that it was spectacular, was pretty eager to show off his new party piece.....

 

Fell on his at full force, bust his nose good and cracked his cheekbone or eye socket or something.

 

So a pretty serious injury and a ton of blood everywhere. Otherwise would have been hilarious, dazed and confused, trousers around etc

 

Dont try it at home.

Like this?  

 

I'm sure there's a video of a squaddie running half way across a room to do it and failing badly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ri Alban
2 hours ago, Harry Potter said:

Larking about  the science class at Craigmount school aged about 14, getting chased round the class

and some clown had left a drawer open, ran in to the drawer and split my leg open at shin height.

8 stiches but infection set in and my leg swelled up, , antibiotics   sorted the situation.

When I was about 8 some prick throw an aerosol can into a fire and it exploded and embedded into my inner thigh, red hot. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Harry Potter
19 minutes ago, ri Alban said:

When I was about 8 some prick throw an aerosol can into a fire and it exploded and embedded into my inner thigh, red hot. 

What a stupid thing to do mate, hope you got over that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.




×
×
  • Create New...