Jambomuzz Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 Been trying to grow an average sized beard. Nothing major, just a bit more than "designer stubble. The hair doesn't grow out and much at the sides as it does on the neck and chin so have bought a" derma roller" to give a shot to see if it makes a difference. However for the rest of the beard, what oils and care kits do you guys reccomend? Also what's the best way of keeping it looking tidy? My current beard trimmers max setting is too short "5mm" so may need to invest in something else. Suggestions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 Just accept if you're going to have a beard that you're going to look like the scruffy ******* that you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
been here before Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 "Derma rollers... oils... care kit" ?? Just grow a beard FFS. How pathetic and soft are 'modern' men? Can you imagine if Scott or Oates or any of the great bearded explorers worried about this shite? " Oh god Scott, Ive forgotten my oil to condition and soften my beard... I cant cope without it. Im just nipping out, I may be some time". Charles Darwin... "Ive got this idea about monkeys but Im toiling to concentrate as Ive lost my derma rollers". Dickens never would have finished Great Expectations because he spent too long looking for his beard care kit". The mind boggles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bridge of Djoum Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 57 minutes ago, Jambomuzz said: Been trying to grow an average sized beard. Nothing major, just a bit more than "designer stubble. The hair doesn't grow out and much at the sides as it does on the neck and chin so have bought a" derma roller" to give a shot to see if it makes a difference. However for the rest of the beard, what oils and care kits do you guys reccomend? Also what's the best way of keeping it looking tidy? My current beard trimmers max setting is too short "5mm" so may need to invest in something else. Suggestions? Grow larger testicles Become Greek Stop wearing women's clothing Drink beer. You're welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 55 minutes ago, IronJambo said: Just accept if you're going to have a beard that you're going to look like the scruffy ******* that you are. In a nutshell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 19 minutes ago, Bridge of Djoum said: Grow larger testicles Become Greek Stop wearing women's clothing Drink beer. You're welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Francis Albert Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 (edited) It can be a cruel place on here! Would never grow one myself but a neat well cared for beard preferable to stubble or the full hipster. I spend so much time these days at the barber's watching interminable elaborate beard trimming and caring rituals that I guess that may be a place to go for advice Edited May 26, 2019 by Francis Albert Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamhammer Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 Braw beard oil is good. Some of them smell like sweets Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
been here before Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 32 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said: Gingers seem very proud of their thick facial fuzz, but I suppose if you are a carrot top then you need something to be pleased about.... Gets me sentimental for the days when an opposition 'strawberry blonde' would turn up and be regailed with a rousing rendition of "ginger pubes are unacceptable". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuel Camazzola Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 41 minutes ago, Jamhammer said: Braw beard oil is good. Some of them smell like sweets One of the consumer programmes (I think it was the one which Gaby Roslin presents) was on a few weeks back and they did a feature on beard oils since the market for these has expanded in recent years. The dermatologist that was on said that the content of these expensive products is no different or more beneficial than standard oils you can get from most chemists. The feature made a mockery of the prices being attached to a lot of products. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 36 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said: The real question is how long will this trend for beards last ? Or has it always been there to a lesser scale. Gingers seem very proud of their thick facial fuzz, but I suppose if you are a carrot top then you need something to be pleased about.... Beards Bald guys with beards Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 4 minutes ago, been here before said: Gets me sentimental for the days when an opposition 'strawberry blonde' would turn up and be regailed with a rousing rendition of "ginger pubes are unacceptable". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
been here before Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 (edited) 8 minutes ago, Samuel Camazzola said: One of the consumer programmes (I think it was the one which Gaby Roslin presents) was on a few weeks back... Time was Id have happily given Gabys beard a good oiling. Unless she didnt bother with such hirsuteness then the moisturiser would have to make an appearance. Edited May 26, 2019 by been here before Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 1 minute ago, jonnothejambo said: Over in Spain recently. No shortage of beards even in 28 degrees Celsius. They absolutely love the ‘dustbin man’ look in Espana. Bloody tramps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 1 minute ago, been here before said: Time was Id have happily given Gabys beard a good oiling. Unless she didnt bother with such hirsuteness then the moisturiser would have to make an appearance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlphonseCapone Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 Lot of lads on this thread obviously angry they can't grow proper beards.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wee Mikey Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 Imagine the state of that after a crispy morning roll filled with butter and a fried egg!!! I wonder if this 'un gets special attention when going through security at the airport seeing as there could be all sorts hiding in there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 The best thing for beard care? A razor blade you bunch of lazy, scruffy b@$tards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamhammer Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 11 hours ago, Samuel Camazzola said: One of the consumer programmes (I think it was the one which Gaby Roslin presents) was on a few weeks back and they did a feature on beard oils since the market for these has expanded in recent years. The dermatologist that was on said that the content of these expensive products is no different or more beneficial than standard oils you can get from most chemists. The feature made a mockery of the prices being attached to a lot of products. To be honest I wash my beard, which is quite long in Fairy Liquid now and again cos it takes all the crap out of it. Just as good as anything posh I've ever used. The oil I mainly use to keep it straight/make me look less like a tramp.Had mine about 5 years and seriously considering getting rid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Potter Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 23 hours ago, been here before said: "Derma rollers... oils... care kit" ?? Just grow a beard FFS. How pathetic and soft are 'modern' men? Can you imagine if Scott or Oates or any of the great bearded explorers worried about this shite? " Oh god Scott, Ive forgotten my oil to condition and soften my beard... I cant cope without it. Im just nipping out, I may be some time". Charles Darwin... "Ive got this idea about monkeys but Im toiling to concentrate as Ive lost my derma rollers". Dickens never would have finished Great Expectations because he spent too long looking for his beard care kit". The mind boggles. Ha Ha must be a nightmare eating spag bol, grey beards why even have that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boof Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 Just used head & shoulders on mine when I was washing my hair. Had to be wary of food hoardage and many a time the nosh was followed by a trip to the freshening up room. But no special treatment - maybe a wee bit of moustache wax to keep it (the 'tache...no, not THE 'Tache )oot the teacup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ri Alban Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 On 26/05/2019 at 12:56, IronJambo said: Just accept if you're going to have a beard that you're going to look like the scruffy ******* that you are. On 26/05/2019 at 13:35, Bridge of Djoum said: Grow larger testicles Become Greek Stop wearing women's clothing Drink beer. You're welcome. On 26/05/2019 at 13:55, Morgan said: Awwwwww, can't you girly men grow a Baird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 1 minute ago, ri Alban said: Awwwwww, can't you girly men grow a Baird. Awww, sheeest!!! It's not a case of 'can't' it's a case of 'wouldnae want to'. Like really, why would one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ri Alban Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 Just now, Morgan said: Awww, sheeest!!! It's not a case of 'can't' it's a case of 'wouldnae want to'. Like really, why would one? Why not, I've had one since my teens. Suppose it's a personal preference. I've went from the stonecold to the wild man of Borneo look. I even had the Xavier back in Euro 2004. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 8 minutes ago, ri Alban said: Awwwwww, can't you girly men grow a Baird. I'd just rather no look like a neanderthal/Scottish nationalist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 2 minutes ago, IronJambo said: I'd just rather no look like a neanderthal/Scottish nationalist. I'd just no' like to look like a dump dweller. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ri Alban Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 4 minutes ago, IronJambo said: I'd just rather no look like a neanderthal/Scottish nationalist. Aye, cause only Scottish people grow beards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ri Alban Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 2 minutes ago, Morgan said: I'd just no' like to look like a dump dweller. Don't forget your perfume, hen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
¼½¾ Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 I started growing a beard about 6 weeks ago. My one and only previous attempt, close to 30 years ago, didn't last long, as there was too much ginger in it for my liking. I've no got that problem now though, the ginger's been replaced by white. Quite distinguished looking... Now, do those derma roller torture contraptions work on a bald heid? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IronJambo Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 32 minutes ago, ri Alban said: Aye, cause only Scottish people grow beards. Didn't say I didn't want to look like a Scotsman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 58 minutes ago, ri Alban said: Don't forget your perfume, hen. Just call me Stig! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 20 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said: Private registration plates are truly the sign of self important wanks. Are you on the thread that you think you’re on, Jonno? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 32 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said: Christ knows, mon ami. There must be a connection between beards and pretentious twats and I am speaking a someone who has some Barney Rubble on my John McGinn.... I’m going to leave you to enjoy the rest of your evening. You’ve just posted a lot of shite and, worryingly for me, I understood every word of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 2 hours ago, jonnothejambo said: Private registration plates are truly the sign of self important wanks. What of you got 1 with 51 and FTH in it? I would consider that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgan Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 12 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said: Naturellement. Bien sur. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
been here before Posted May 27, 2019 Share Posted May 27, 2019 14 minutes ago, jonnothejambo said: There are exceptions to every rule... Amd sometimes those exceptions prove the rule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted May 28, 2019 Share Posted May 28, 2019 I was just reading something about guys who can't grow proper beards using hairless treatment, regain, to encourage their bum fluff to mature. If it works I might try it, on head and face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tian447 Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 On 28/05/2019 at 07:17, superjack said: I was just reading something about guys who can't grow proper beards using hairless treatment, regain, to encourage their bum fluff to mature. If it works I might try it, on head and face. Don't forget baws and arse, it's the only way to be really sure that it works. Can't have a biased test! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superjack Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 5 hours ago, tian447 said: Don't forget baws and arse, it's the only way to be really sure that it works. Can't have a biased test! Wont work there, arse is already like a deep pile carpet and balls like little coconuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah O Posted May 30, 2019 Share Posted May 30, 2019 On 27/05/2019 at 19:04, BarneyBattles said: Beards are like hats. Unless it’s cauld you’re wearing it for superfluous fashion reasons. It’s up there with private registration plates as to which one is the most accurate hallmark of being labelled a complete and utter twat. I often have a beard because I can't be arsed shaving. I am a twat though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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