Be Prepared for the Worst...

[kevmacd]

I'm of the opinion (may be alone?!) that the only way we'll get Romanov to take any notice of us is not by protesting at the stadium or to the club, or by writing to Vlad or Roman - least of all by having a moan about it on here (although this can, admittedly, make you feel a bit better) - what we need to do is target our owners. Not Vlad himself, but Ukio Bankas and all its shareholders.

 

There must be hundreds of people on here who are not happy about the way things are going, the disappointment with the lack of a manager being the most salient point at this time. I consider myself a 'Vlad Loyalist' and have supported him as much as anyone, but I'm now getting hacked off with the lack of progrees on the managerial front and, more importantly, the lack of information on this coming from Hearts (leaving us in the hands of Banderson's guesswork to give us some sort of idea as to what might actually be going on). Our last 'official' announcement (as far as I am aware) was that we'd be trying our best to appoint a manager before the start of pre-season. As such, I'm willing to give the club until then to appoiunt someone of decent calibre (to be honest - Weiss would do!)

 

However, if the end of the month passes and we're no further forward, I'm suggesting the following (I'll be doing this anyway, but it'll be much more effective if its not just me!):

 

FAXES:

 

Fax 10 pages of black paper to every Ukio Bankas fax number we can find with the title (in tip ex maybe?) "HMFC - No Information to Follow". Fax machines are still heavily used in the banking industry for conducting transfers, etc - it would not take much more than 10 of these 10 page faxes to wipe out a toner cartridge. This only costs us the cost of a call.

 

Head Office Fax: +370 37 323 188

 

All the other Branches details are available here:

http://www.ub.lt/ShowPage.aspx?MenuC=1556&ShowDoc=kontaktai.aptarnavimo_tinklas&PageLang=ENG&PageFontSize=

 

Customer feedback:

 

Attack the customer feedback sections of the website with 20 to 30 feedback requests each. Make these as realistic sounding as possible as it will be impossible for them to cope with the demands (will be heavy on their servers) and will make it impossible for them to deal with actual enquiries.

 

Emails:

 

Fins our the email addresses of the 'highest authority' people in UBIG that we can and send them 10 emails each with a mixture of nonsense emails and emails about Hearts (so they know why this is happening!)

 

The people at UBIG are the only people with the power to influence Vlad - by targetting these people, hopefully they will put pressure on him to act a.s.a.p. before their business suffers as a result.

 

What we need to do, however, is come up with a realistic (i.e. not "we demand the CL title next season"), reasonable demand for this to stop. Perhaps the appointment of a fully autonamous manager with experience of British Football would be a good place to start? After all, Vlad could do this without admitting 'defeat' as this is what he said he would have 'preferred' to do all along?

 

Who's with me?

(tin hat is on and fastened tightly!)

 

p.s. Before you start - no, I'm not a Hobo - happy to meet up with anyone from my vantage point in section G next season for any doubters!

[Guest JamboRobbo]

One of the better suggestions I've read for action we can take.

 

I'd be happy to play my part, if thats what it takes.

[iaing]

i think you have too much time on your hands.

[kevmacd]

i think you have too much time on your hands.

 

Yeah, I get that a lot

[Rudolf's Mate]

What a childish & stupid idea man!!!!

 

I have gone into the settings on my company fax machine and removed the id number (so they can't tell where it's come from!) and am going to do this however I am going to put the letters

 

H E A R T O F M I D L O T H I A N F C F O R E V E R

 

with each letter on a seperate fax in huge bold taking up nearly one page per letter..... Mod Edit childish but it'll make me feel better!!!

[kevmacd]

What a childish & stupid idea man!!!!

 

I have gone into the settings on my company fax machine and removed the id number (so they can't tell where it's come from!) and am going to do this however I am going to put the letters

 

H E A R T O F M I D L O T H I A N F C F O R E V E R

 

with each letter on a seperate fax in huge bold taking up nearly one page per letter..... Mod Edit childish but it'll make me feel better!!!

 

The best ideas in life are the simple ones. I genuinely think this could work, if it became enough of an irritant to the high heid yins at UBIG.

[Rudolf's Mate]

The best ideas in life are the simple ones. I genuinely think this could work, if it became enough of an irritant to the high heid yins at UBIG.

 

 

Have to admit that it's certainly one of the better ones. May even put the JK logo on mine with a message saying you've been kicbacked!!!

[Guest JamboRobbo]

Have to admit that it's certainly one of the better ones. May even put the JK logo on mine with a message saying you've been kicbacked!!!

 

I'm gonna go for "Vlad, you've been kicked back."

[skotskosparta]

Did you consider that the fax machine will not actually be a fax machine and your fax will be digitized and processed as a electronic document, meaning that they could set up some spam filter blocking all your traffic?

[Coco]

UBIG (Hearts owner) is very different from Ukio Bankas (Hearts banker).

 

On the subject of Ukio Bankas - just had a look at the holders of their shares.

 

Would you believe that in their top shareholder list is a company called

 

Rodney Square Management!

 

Love the thought that this is the foundation for Romanov Jnr's assets!

[We_are_the_Hearts]

I'm going to send a fax to pick their admin staff on a weekly basis. Even though I don't see them for months I think I could do it?

[kevmacd]

Did you consider that the fax machine will not actually be a fax machine and your fax will be digitized and processed as a electronic document, meaning that they could set up some spam filter blocking all your traffic?

 

This is Lithuania we're talking about. Bank of Scotland & RBS still use 'old style' faxes (might be for back up in case of server issues?)

[Guest JamboRobbo]

I'm going to send a fax to pick their admin staff on a weekly basis. Even though I don't see them for months I think I could do it?

 

Aye, it's easy. You don't even have to know anything about it. Just get a list of names, put a few random ones in random places, then fax it back.

 

I'm sure it won't upset their customers all that much if the bank is suddenly incapable of doing anything right. If they complain, just suggest that they are racist, and it's all the monkeys fault etc etc.

[skotskosparta]

This is Lithuania we're talking about.

 

Not sure but I think they also have indoor toilets as well as the internet!!

[kevmacd]

Not sure but I think they also have indoor toilets as well as the internet!!

 

Yeah, but they don't flush!

[ackeygraham]

So where exactly can you get a pack of black A4 or does someone have a black felt tip handy?

[kevmacd]

So where exactly can you get a pack of black A4 or does someone have a black felt tip handy?

 

If you have a photocopier, open the lid and hit the copy button - instant black paper! (make sure the boss isn't watching though)

[Rods]

So where exactly can you get a pack of black A4 or does someone have a black felt tip handy?

 

 

Try under the seat

 

In your caravan teapot

[Sheriff Fatman]

Aye, denial of service attacks using a medium that is easy to track back to the source is the intelligent way to go.

[Guest JamboRobbo]

Aye, denial of service attacks using a medium that is easy to track back to the source is the intelligent way to go.

 

Aye, thats what was suggested right enough.

 

I presume you have a better plan? Sit back and enjoy watching HMFC run like a circus perhaps?

[Sheriff Fatman]

Aye, thats what was suggested right enough.

 

I presume you have a better plan? Sit back and enjoy watching HMFC run like a circus perhaps?

 

Suggesting that as many people as possible fax 10 pages to every Ukio Bankas fax machine at roughly the same time is a form of denial of service.

[Commander Harris]

while I appreciate the OP going to the trouble of actually trying to thinking of a practical way to try and motivate change I don't think this idea is a go-er for the reasons outlined by a couple of posters above.

 

Did you consider that the fax machine will not actually be a fax machine and your fax will be digitized and processed as a electronic document, meaning that they could set up some spam filter blocking all your traffic?

 

UBIG (Hearts owner) is very different from Ukio Bankas (Hearts banker).

 

 

Aye, denial of service attacks using a medium that is easy to track back to the source is the intelligent way to go.

[kevmacd]

Aye, denial of service attacks using a medium that is easy to track back to the source is the intelligent way to go.

 

I would be happy for them to know it was me - then when they came asking I'd explain precisely why I'd done it!

[Guest JamboRobbo]

Suggesting that as many people as possible fax 10 pages to every Ukio Bankas fax machine at roughly the same time is a form of denial of service.

 

whereas you're better plan is......

[Jamboelite]

I like the idea guys but even changing settings on machines etc there are ways to trace you so i suggest you do this from home machines and not work ones otherwise alot of unhappy unemployed kickbackers maybe the result.

 

And im not sure but this may well get you in bother with the law as well.

[Sheriff Fatman]

I would be happy for them to know it was me - then when they came asking I'd explain precisely why I'd done it!

 

It wouldn't be them that came, it would be their lawyers with a very provable case.

[Guest JamboRobbo]

I like the idea guys but even changing settings on machines etc there are ways to trace you so i suggest you do this from home machines and not work ones otherwise alot of unhappy unemployed kickbackers maybe the result.

 

But if it worked, at least we might be happy unemployed kickbackers.

[Sheriff Fatman]

But if it worked, at least we might be happy unemployed kickbackers.

 

They would also be unemplyed kickbackers with large law suits hanging over their head and a fair possibility of criminal prosecution against them.

[Guest JamboRobbo]

They would also be unemplyed kickbackers with large law suits hanging over their head and a fair possibility of criminal prosecution against them.

 

you're entitled to your opinion. I'd say there are ways and means of annoying UBIG without getting in trouble.

 

still awaiting your better suggestion......

[ackeygraham]

If you have a photocopier, open the lid and hit the copy button - instant black paper! (make sure the boss isn't watching though)

 

Would it not be easier to get the secretary to pretend she was at an xmas party and do her ass on it....would be self explanatory when received!

[Say What Again]

while I appreciate the OP going to the trouble of actually trying to thinking of a practical way to try and motivate change I don't think this idea is a go-er for the reasons outlined by a couple of posters above.

 

Going off topic..... but, if we DO actually appoint a manager CH, are you going to mark the occasion by purchasing a gnome?

[Commander Harris]

Going off topic..... but, if we DO actually appoint a manager CH, are you going to mark the occasion by purchasing a gnome?

I'm a man of my word!

 

I just hope I get to buy one soon.

[kevmacd]

I would be happy for them to know it was me - then when they came asking I'd explain precisely why I'd done it!

 

That's because "you" is actually me....

 

Sharing a username is confusing......

[200milesfromgorgie]

'welcome to kickback - where your ideas go to waste'

[Jam Tarts 1874]

The amount of cost-cutting taking place at Hearts (Goncalves being the latest) suggests that there is already some pressure on Romanov from other Shareholders in the UKIO Group.

 

But this is definately a good idea, he's not going to be in Edinburgh much so make some noise in his own back yard.

[kevmacd]

Would it not be easier to get the secretary to pretend she was at an xmas party and do her ass on it....would be self explanatory when received!

 

If your persuasive powers are that good, you can fax me a copy of it too.:p

[Rudolf's Mate]

Who cares.....

 

80 pages of nothing with the JK logo gone to the f e c k ers!

[hmfc_steve]

Who cares.....

 

80 pages of nothing with the JK logo gone to the f e c k ers!

 

quite right.. time to release the bots ( not the hobo definition ! ).... I'll join ya

[Guest jambomickey]

if romanov said today was wednesday some hearts fans with romanov blinkers on would believe him.

[Sheriff Fatman]

if romanov said today was wednesday some hearts fans with romanov blinkers on would believe him.

If he said the he had signed Phil Scolari as the next manager some would complain that he had no experience of British football, couldn't speak English and was a Vlad puppet.

 

There is one hell of a lot of grey in between those two extremes, and that is where the vast majority of Hearts supporters live.

[Rudolf's Mate]

Took over 5 mins for each of these to go through! Only wish the op had come up with the idea earlier in the week so I could have sent more

[redm]

The black fax was a great idea back in the olden days when people actually had fax machines but I don't honestly know how much of an impact anyone will make simply by spamming their inbox. If they are still using ye olde facsimile, I also wonder what you're going to achieve by murdering a handful of toner cartridges. I can't see anyone unearthing the company comms list anytime soon so hundreds of people faxing 20 machines (if that) won't do much.

 

I'm not peeing on your idea, I just don't think it's going to work - even the animal rights activists gave up on that one years ago. If there's no single coherent message being communicated, it all just becomes noise anyway and the whole point of it is lost. I've never understood the reasoning behind this sort of thing anyway...people are inclined to listen/empathise LESS if you irritate them!

 

It's good that people are thinking of things to do rather than just grumbling but I don't think irritating, disruption tactics are going to get us anywhere. All the best ideas are either funny or totally original...

[Rudolf's Mate]

Inundating their machines with huge volumes or black faxes with inconvenience them and certainly pee them off. I work for a telecomms firm and I can honestly say that getting a load of unwanted faxes is a pain.

 

Even if it got publicity over there that we were doing this then surely Vlad would hear about it!

[gazmo]

If he said the he had signed Phil Scolari as the next manager some would complain that he had no experience of British football, couldn't speak English and was a Vlad puppet.QUOTE]

 

What a load of nonsense. Why are you trying to excuse the recent events by trying to compare Hearts to a major club, who have appointed one of the most sought after managers in the world. Embarassing and totally typical.

[redm]

If he said the he had signed Phil Scolari as the next manager some would complain that he had no experience of British football' date=' couldn't speak English and was a Vlad puppet.QUOTE']

 

What a load of nonsense. Why are you trying to excuse the recent events by trying to compare Hearts to a major club, who have appointed one of the most sought after managers in the world. Embarassing and totally typical.

 

I don't think he really suggested anything of the sort.

The point he seems to have been making is that some people here seem to be in the mindset that everything is just crap, no matter what. Repeatedly being subjected to disappointment can probably do that though....

[Commander Harris]

everything's plastic, we're all going to die.

[Domokun]

If I owed somebody ?30million and was hoping to get an increased overdraft from said lender in order to do some home improvements, I don't think I'd like to **** them off too much...

 

As skotsko hobo dude has said, there is a high chance it will be digitised. Every office I've had the misfortune to work in has used this means of fax receipt.

[EuanD]

I'm of the opinion (may be alone?!) that the only way we'll get Romanov to take any notice of us is not by protesting at the stadium or to the club, or by writing to Vlad or Roman - least of all by having a moan about it on here (although this can, admittedly, make you feel a bit better) - what we need to do is target our owners. Not Vlad himself, but Ukio Bankas and all its shareholders.

 

There must be hundreds of people on here who are not happy about the way things are going, the disappointment with the lack of a manager being the most salient point at this time. I consider myself a 'Vlad Loyalist' and have supported him as much as anyone, but I'm now getting hacked off with the lack of progrees on the managerial front and, more importantly, the lack of information on this coming from Hearts (leaving us in the hands of Banderson's guesswork to give us some sort of idea as to what might actually be going on). Our last 'official' announcement (as far as I am aware) was that we'd be trying our best to appoint a manager before the start of pre-season. As such, I'm willing to give the club until then to appoiunt someone of decent calibre (to be honest - Weiss would do!)

 

However, if the end of the month passes and we're no further forward, I'm suggesting the following (I'll be doing this anyway, but it'll be much more effective if its not just me!):

 

FAXES:

 

Fax 10 pages of black paper to every Ukio Bankas fax number we can find with the title (in tip ex maybe?) "HMFC - No Information to Follow". Fax machines are still heavily used in the banking industry for conducting transfers, etc - it would not take much more than 10 of these 10 page faxes to wipe out a toner cartridge. This only costs us the cost of a call.

 

Head Office Fax: +370 37 323 188

 

All the other Branches details are available here:

http://www.ub.lt/ShowPage.aspx?MenuC=1556&ShowDoc=kontaktai.aptarnavimo_tinklas&PageLang=ENG&PageFontSize=

 

Customer feedback:

 

Attack the customer feedback sections of the website with 20 to 30 feedback requests each. Make these as realistic sounding as possible as it will be impossible for them to cope with the demands (will be heavy on their servers) and will make it impossible for them to deal with actual enquiries.

 

Emails:

 

Fins our the email addresses of the 'highest authority' people in UBIG that we can and send them 10 emails each with a mixture of nonsense emails and emails about Hearts (so they know why this is happening!)

 

The people at UBIG are the only people with the power to influence Vlad - by targetting these people, hopefully they will put pressure on him to act a.s.a.p. before their business suffers as a result.

 

What we need to do, however, is come up with a realistic (i.e. not "we demand the CL title next season"), reasonable demand for this to stop. Perhaps the appointment of a fully autonamous manager with experience of British Football would be a good place to start? After all, Vlad could do this without admitting 'defeat' as this is what he said he would have 'preferred' to do all along?

 

Who's with me?

(tin hat is on and fastened tightly!)

 

p.s. Before you start - no, I'm not a Hobo - happy to meet up with anyone from my vantage point in section G next season for any doubters!

 

As much as I like your enthusiasm I just cant see it working. The fax idea will fall short due to the fact the WILL have a stores department adn the will be able to replace any toner, ink etc etc in the blink of an eye.

 

I actually dont think you can get to Vlad... The KGB have tried and failed so what chance do we have?

[Seymour M Hersh]

I would be happy for them to know it was me - then when they came asking I'd explain precisely why I'd done it!

 

Your own employer might be interested in the answer as well. I'm guessing you'd do this from work as very few people have fax machines in their houses.

[Guest JamboRobbo]

Your own employer might be interested in the answer as well. I'm guessing you'd do this from work as very few people have fax machines in their houses.

 

LOL. I presume you've never heard of sending faxes via the internet then.