The Joy of Skivving

[heartgarfunkel]

Any good skivving/milking it tips/stories? Used to love working for the standard Death in my youth, Saturday morning overtime, most chaps still honking drunk from the Friday session that started on the 11.45- 2.30 flexi lunch in Dan McKays, and continued at 3.45pm, sprinting out the door for the Grosvenor. Twice the square root of ****-all got done, except reading the red-tops in the cludgie & doing fixed-odds coupons before ambling off to the pub then attending Tynecastle. Magic.

[Boof]

I suppose my favourite - or at least the one with the happiest outcome - happened on 12th May 2006.

I was - ahem - 'supervising' a pupil in a wee room on a 1-1 basis...can't remember what she was supposed to be doing.

Thankfully the room had a computer and, even more thankfully, KB wasn't blocked on the school filter.

 

You might recall that tickets for the following day's event were somewhat scarce, but I hadn't arranged to get any from any of my season-ticket-holding acquaintances as the Shetland Hearts chairman had said we'd get ones as a Supporters' Club and we'd all go down together.

Well...so much for that blimmin' idea!!!

I'd already booked my boat passage down to Aberdeen and planned to head straight to Glasgow to see if I could pick up a ticket outside Hampden.

I'd put a plea on KB and had gone as far as putting fairly daft bids on eBay but nothing was forthcoming that whole week.

Then...late in the afternoon, salvation came in the form of a PM from a KBer (mods - I presume, in this instance it'll be okay to namecheck Le Chat) who had a hospitalised mate who couldn't use the ticket and it was mine, if I still needed it.

He'd held on as long as possible to see if said chum would make the game, but I guess my plea was the most heartrending

 

A few texts and calls later and I had the ticket delivered to a mate and my trip through from Edinburgh booked with the Gorgie Mills Bowling Club bus (the quiet one).

 

So...if I'd not been skiving on KB that Friday afternoon...I might never've got to see that fantastic sight of Craig Gordon leaping in the air after whatsisname blootered his penalty over the bar - and the subsequent shenanigans.

[Snake Plissken]

Almost every single day at my work is a skive, I'm unfortunate if I do more than 3 hours of bone fide work in a shift - then again I enjoy what little work I do anyway.

 

I don't get paid much but I hardly work for it.

[Isaac Begbie]

I also had a stint at "the death". We used to have a Trappers Club, which was basically a competition to see who could visit the most cludgies in the building in one day. There was also a guy who took great pleasure in dipping his boy sausage in some of his female co-workers tea & coffee when it was his turn to go to the vending machine (which was conveniently hidden round a corner by the stairwell).

 

I'm sure things have changed since they demutualised.

[Terrible Trio]

Dan McKay

 

as in the famous Edinburgh lawyer

[Terrible Trio]

There was also a guy who took great pleasure in dipping his boy sausage in some of his female co-workers tea & coffee

 

didn't he burn his knob

[Nucky Thompson]

didn't he burn his knob

 

That's what I was thinking, either that or he had an asbestos knob:rolleyes:

[heartgarfunkel]

Almost every single day at my work is a skive, I'm unfortunate if I do more than 3 hours of bone fide work in a shift - then again I enjoy what little work I do anyway.

 

I don't get paid much but I hardly work for it.

 

Sounds a good number mate. One of my pals used to be an archivist for a major bank and often slept whole mornings or afternoons locked in his vault.

[jamboinglasgow]

The only tale in relation to skiving was one with a lesson learnt by me, it could of been a movie script.

 

In P3 I had been genuinly ill and off school, the next day I felt I didn't want to school so I said to Mum that I was still ill so she kept me off. I was stuck in bed all day but off school. Later on I was with my mum picking my brother up from Rugby. Let me explain before the next bit, I went to a school where p1-3 was at one school and p4-7 was at the school down the road but it was the same school. Anyway we picked up my brother and he suddenly said "Mum did you here about the other school today [mine.] The boiler broke and so they had to send everyone home."

 

So I had skipped school, been stuck in bed (at an age when you dont want to be) only to find that if I went to school I would go home anyway and have a free day. I told my mum the truth soon after and learnt my lesson.

[heartgarfunkel]

I also had a stint at "the death". We used to have a Trappers Club, which was basically a competition to see who could visit the most cludgies in the building in one day. There was also a guy who took great pleasure in dipping his boy sausage in some of his female co-workers tea & coffee when it was his turn to go to the vending machine (which was conveniently hidden round a corner by the stairwell).

 

I'm sure things have changed since they demutualised.

 

Must have been a quick dip mate:eek: There were always good clocking in and out scams in "the death" back in the day. Got in more bother there than at school, it was a scream;)